I still don't…She still does…I'm never will…

WHERE'S YOUR BALLS

CHAPTER 3

Steph woke the next morning with her hair stuck to her face. Her eyes were red and puffy…evidence that she cried herself to sleep.

As bad, as she wanted to pull the covers back over her head and stay in bed all day, that wouldn't get her rent paid. The bond business hadn't exactly been good, lately. Either everyone was keeping his or her court dates or no one was breaking the law. Either way, Steph was strapped for cash.

Normally when she was low on money, she would go do some part time work or a distraction job for Rangeman. However, she hadn't worked for Ranger in over three months.

Not one call for a distraction job, no "hey can you help out with some searches." Not a word from him. It's as if she didn't exist to him anymore.

Steph showered, shaved and all the rest of her morning rituals. After scarfing down a cherry Pop Tart, she headed to the bond office.

"Girl, you look horrible. What happen to you?" Lula asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Steph told her, hoping she'd drop the subject.

"Your eyes are puffy. You can't tell me you haven't been crying." Connie said. "You look like hell and that make up you're trying to hide it with is not doing the job."

"Gee, thanks. You two sure know how to make someone feel better. Glad, you're my friends." Steph said, plopping down on the sofa.

"Steph, we are your friends, you can tell us anything. Maybe we can help."

"I doubt, not this time. My life is a mess and there's no fixing it, I'm afraid." Steph sighed. "Do I have any files, Connie?"

"Yeah, I have a couple. These two just came in this morning. This one came in yesterday." Connie said handing her the files.

Just as Steph sat down to look over her files, Ranger walked in the door. The tension was so thick in the office; you could cut it with a knife.

"I'm out of here. I'll catch you later. I need these skips. Rent is due." Steph said good-bye to Connie and Lula, ignoring Ranger as she walked toward the door.

Ranger gave Steph a slight nod as she passed him. Steph gave him the same, not saying anything.

"Um-huh. I knew those puffy eyes and swollen face belonged to a man." Lula huffed. "What'd you to do my girl, Batman?"

Ranger didn't answer. He just looked at Steph with a pleading look.

Steph was out of the bond office in a flash. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or hurt that Ranger didn't try to stop her.

She made her way back to her apartment, fighting tears. Once inside her apartment, she fell apart.

The next couple of days, Ranger waited for a call or a visit or anything from Steph. Hoping once she'd had time, she'd give him the chance to explain.

Five days had gone by since anyone from Rangeman had heard or seen of her. Ranger couldn't take it anymore. He had to know that she was ok.

Ranger sat in his office, thinking about Steph. Not that she wasn't constantly on his mind. He pushed the intercom button to the monitor room.

"Santos, in my office, NOW!" He ordered.

"What now? I didn't do anything." Lester hissed when he walked in Ranger's office.

"I want you to go to Steph's apartment and apologize to her." Ranger insisted.

"Apologize or spy for you?" Lester questioned.

"I don't like your attitude, Santos." Ranger growled. "I think you owe Steph an apology."

"You're right; I do owe her an apology." Lester said. "But, if you are so worried about her, you should go check up on her, yourself."

"Are you questioning me?"

"No. Why can't you just admit you want to know what's going on with her? I plan on apologizing to Bombshell, but not because you think I should or you want me to spy for you." Lester coldly stated. "I'm going to apologize because I was wrong."

"You're right." Ranger admitted.

"You're a self centered son of a bitch; you know that, don't you?" Lester asked. "If I were you, I'd be groveling at her feet, begging her for another chance…begging to forgive your sorry ass."

"Yes, I do. Lester, I'm so afraid I'll never have the chance to fix things."

"It would serve you right if she never talked to you again. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, I do."

"I was planning on going by her apartment when I got off duty. I'm not saying I'll talk to her for you, but I will at least check on her for you.

What you did was fucking wrong, Ranger. I said some fucked up things to her because I thought I was defending my best friend. Some hurtful things. I'll be lucky if she even lets me in the door."

Lester finished his shift on the monitors and headed to Steph's apartment. He was really worried about her. No one from Rangeman had seen or heard from her in almost a week and he heard from Tank that she hadn't been by the bond office in two days.

She turned in her body receipts and told Connie she was taking a few days off, that's the last time they'd seen her.

If anything had happened to her or she did something stupid, Ranger was to blame. He would personally see to it that Ranger paid for hurting her and causing him to hurt her.

Steph's car was in the parking lot when Lester got there. He parked next to her car and took the stairs to her apartment.

"Steph, are you in there?" Lester called out, banging on her door.

"Go away, Lester. I don't feel like talking about what happened in the break room and if Ranger sent you over here to talk me into talking to him…I don't want to talk about that, either." Steph yelled thru her closed door.

"Come on, Bombshell. You know I can get in, if I want. It would be easier if you'd just open the door."

"Oh…alright, damn it, come in, Lester." She said, opening the door.

"How are you?" He asked.

Steph looked like she had been on a two day drunk. She had dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a mess. She had no make up on her face.

"I've been better." She muttered. "Sometimes you have to smile, pretend everything is ok, hold back the tears and just walk away."

"Steph, you look like hell."

"Gee thanks, Lester. You really know how to make a girl feel good. Is there a Rangeman course for how to talk to a woman and make her feel like shit?"

"I didn't come to argue with you, Bomber."

"Then why are you here? Did you come to yell at me some more for using your friend? Or, maybe you came to tell me what a tease I was. Shame on me." Steph snarled.

"Beautiful, I came to apologize. I was wrong. I was only seeing one side of the story. I never even knew you slept with him. Please forgive me."

Damn it, what is it the "P" word. Did every last man know when to pull it out of their hat? Steph looked up at Lester. He was giving her these incredibly irresistible puppy dog eyes.

"Fuck. You know you're making it really hard for me to be mad at you."

"I know I'm irresistible, you don't have to tell me." Lester tried to tease her. "So, am I forgiven?"

"Look, Lester, I'm not mad at you. You thought you were defending your friend. I understand why you said the things you said. Let's forget that night ever happened, ok?"

"Friends again?" Lester asked.

"Yeah, friends again." Steph smiled.

Lester leaned over and hugged Steph. It was good not to have to be mad at her anymore. He hated being mad at her. Ranger, on the other hand…he was still pissed at him.

"Does this mean you'll come by a see us, now?" Lester asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm kind of avoiding Ranger. I'm not ready to deal with him. He tried to give me some bullshit excuse why he sent me back to Joe. But, you know Ranger logic it doesn't always make sense.

He said he sent me back to Joe because he loved me. That's a hell of a fucking way to show someone you love them." Steph sneered. "Hey, I love you, but I'm sending you to another man. What the fuck kind of thinking is that, Lester?"

"Steph, I know it's hard to believe, but he does love you."

Steph started to interrupt Lester, but he held up his hand to sush her. He told Ranger he wasn't coming to Steph's apartment to help him. For some reason he couldn't help it, he knew, even though Ranger was a dumb ass, he did love Steph.

"Did Ranger make you come to see me?" Steph glared at Lester.

"No, he didn't. I came because I needed to be your friend again. Steph, he's miserable and so are you. I can tell. You look like hell and you haven't been to the bond office in two days. Connie and Lula are worried about you."

"I am miserable, Lester. What am I supposed to do, he's been avoiding me for months. No calls, no stopping by to see me. He says sending me back to Joe was one of the biggest regrets in his life. How am I supposed to believe him when he's avoiding me like the fucking plague?

And…what if he decides he doesn't want me again? How do I know this isn't a ploy to get me back in his bed, again?"

"You don't, but you'll never know if you don't give him a chance to show you."

"I don't know, Lester, I'm not sure. I don't think I can survive my heart breaking again.

"I think he's learned his lesson this time."

"I have to learn to trust him again and I'm not sure he deserves my trust right now. That's something he'll have to earn all over again."

"How is he going to earn it if you don't give him the chance to show you?"

"I guess you have a point, but he's not trying very hard. I haven't talked to him since that night at Rangeman. I even ran into him at the bond office. He didn't even say hello to me. I barely got a nod out of him."

"Steph, he's only doing what he promised you. He told if you if you walked away, he wouldn't bother you anymore. You walked away. He's respecting your decesion."

"I just needed some time. I was humiliated and hurt. I didn't mean all those things I said to him. Well...maybe some of them. But I don't really hate him."

"I know you don't, Beautiful. Take some time...get you feelings worked out and then go talk to him. Please don't take too long, though. He's making all of us miserable."

"Thanks for coming by, Les. I still love you. I was hurt at first, but I understand you didn't know the whole story."

"You're welcome, Beautiful and just so you know...it was killing me to be mad at you. I love you. I'm going to get going. Can I come by again?"

"Sure, Lester. Tell everyone I said hello." Steph walked Lester to the door.

"Does everyone include Ranger?" Lester asked.

"I don't think so. Oh…what the hell, why not."

"Bye, Beautiful."

Lester hugged Steph and kissed the top of her head before turning to walk out her door.

tbc