Chapter 3: Pirate Bar

I laugh 'cause its so damn funny
that I can't even see
anyone when he's with me
~Taylor Swift, Teardrops On My Guitar

Olive's POV:

"Today, we're fixin' up the house. And we're landscaping!" Bam yelled into the camera.

We were already covered from head to toe in mud. We continued to tear up the yard with our fourwheelers, getting ourselves even more disgusting. But it was the most fun I'd ever had.

I saw Ape head down the yard to us, clad in a pencil skirt, and a sweater, holding Bam's cell phone. I rolled my eyes. I'd feel bad later, but she had what was comin' to her here.

"Bam! Slayer's on the phone!" She yelled over the roar of the fourwheelers' engines.

Bam spun by, showering her with mud, and I followed suit. April screamed in protest.

We circled her a couple times, and Bam finally stopped and took the phone from her. "Yo, is this Tom?"

He turned to me. "Slayer is coming tomorrow." He told me.

"Tomorrow? Tell them to come today!" I replied.

Bam threw a chunk of mud at me. "No, they're flying in tomorrow."

"Tomorrows okay." I said, and Bam laughed.

"No! Don't stay at a hotel!" He told the phone. "Stay here, this is a hotel. There's four bedrooms up there and a lobby, pirate bar! Alright, later." Bam handed the phone back to Ape, and we drove past her again, showering her with more mud.

"Total Jerks!" Ape screamed at us.

Bam and I rode around for a little while longer, and drove up to the hobbit hole to rinse off the fourwheelers.

I really liked being a part of this show. Honestly. We could do whatever the hell we wanted. I liked talking in front of the camera with Bam too. Not many people knew that I was best friends with him. I wanted people to know that. Call me selfish if you must, but... I didn't care at this point.

"Slayer's coming in 24 hours, and if you don't know who slayer is I suggest you go down to the library and do some rock reasearch because you are n'idiot. And on top of that, pirate bar isn't even close to being done." Bam said into the camera, and then to me.

"How the fuck are we even planning on making a pirate bar?" I asked.

"Paint walls blood red, with skull and crossbones and buried treasure." Bam explained, as it should have been the most obvious thing in the world. "Plus, I decided to get Vito a date for this thing."

"Pfft, good luck." I snorted.

"What are you talking about, you're helping!" Bam said.

I gave him a half amused half surprised look. He smiled at me, and then at the camera.

SLAYER ARRIVES IN 23:59:59

We walked into the lower part of the house, where the pirate bar would be built.

"What happened to mom?" Phil asked Bam and me.

"Yeah, what the heck?" Raab asked, with his mouth full.

"These two assies, like I'm-"

"Assies?" We all laughed in sync at Ape's new word.

She tried to tell about how us two "assies" showered her will mud, but we were all so amused by her new word, that we barely listened.

"Let's get to work." Bam demanded.

"I don't know any of this pirate crap." Phil said.

We went into Bam's room, which would be just one of the projects to work on.

"How're we gonna get this done in a day?" I asked, feeling really gross. I didn't wanna be on camera covered in mud that much anymore.

"I dunno, but don't walk on that rug, cuz its brand new." Ape told us.

Bam and I looked at each other, and down at the rug, and Bam stepped on it.

"Get off of the rug!" Ape pushed him off.

I laughed.

"Why?" Bam asked.

"Because! We haven't even paid for it yet!" Ape yelled, and folded it over.

I, with a guilty puppy look in my eyes stepped on it. She looked up, and gasped.

"Get off there, Ollie! I swear to god-" She scolded me.

I bounced up and down, and a big chunk of mud fell onto the rug.

She gasped again. "Olive! This is a brand new rug! I'm gonna kill you." She looked away.

I bent down to unfold it so I could lay on it. "Watch out." I told Ape.

"Olive! Don't you dare walk on there." She warned me.

I smiled and flopped on the rug.

"Olive, get off!" She yelled.

I started to roll myself in it.

"Is she kidding? Is she kidding? IS SHE KIDDING?" Ape yelled.

Bam got on it with me. "Let's do sit-ups!"

"Get. Off. Of that rug, or I swear I will kill you both." Ape told us.

"Alright, I'm getting off." I pretended to agree, and 'tried' to get up but slipped and slided all over it, getting it worse.

"OLIVE!" She screamed at me.

"This is my room. I want a half pipe, with a murphy bed." Bam told her when we both got up.

"Aren't you sick of half pipes?" Ape stressed.

"Hell no! I'm a skater!" Bam said.

As they still remained in conversation, I tried to sneakily wrap myself up in the rug again.

"Olive, you better get off that rug." Ape told me.

It was then that Glomb entered the room and decided to ruin the fun.

"Yo! Yo, clean it up." Glomb unwrapped me from my cucoon.

"Glomb, don't touch the rug." I told him, and he laughed at me.

Bam told him the plan, and asked if he thought we could do it in 24 hours.

"Slayer's coming?" Glomb asked. "Crank it up, dude."

"See? You need his attitude." Bam told me.

"Yeah... I just don't have that in me." I said, in all truthfulness. I thought this was a dumb idea.

"Change your clothes, cause seriously, you're making more of a mess." Ape told me and Bam.

"Alright, lets hop in the shower." Bam said.

"Together?" Glomb laughed, slightly surpirsed.

"Yeah." Bam said, as if it meant nothing.

"Jesus!" I rolled my eyes.

I did like the idea though... I really did. Bam looked really, really good all dirty. I knew I had mud caked all over my body, and it sent shivers down my spine thinking of his bare chest covered in dirt. It was so hot.

Bam suggested something about inviting the whole town of West Chester to the Slayer show, and he and his mom got in an argument about that. As we started to walk back down the stairs to where the pirate bar would be, he looked up at Vito.

"Vito, are you bringing a date to the party?"

"I ain't gonna be ready for no slayer party."

"I'm gonna find you a date." Bam told him.

"As long as she ain't all muddy like you."

"She's gonna be a nice girl." Bam said.

Vito continued rambling.

"Alright everybody shut up and lets get started." Bam said.

This is where the montage would happen in the show.

"What if we made one room black?" I suggested.

"No." Ape said.

"Slayer would like black." Bam defened me.

"No! Who want's to live in purgatory?" Ape argued.

"Slayer!" Bam said.

"Who wants to live in a hole?" Ape scoffed.

"Thats all rock dudes wanna do, is live in holes." Bam argued back.

"No they don't. Now, seriously, you two. Go get cleaned up." Ape told us.

"Alright. C'mon, Ol." Bam waved me up the stairs.

I followed him. All these thoughts filled my mind. Like, if we were together, we probably would be showering together. It would have been better if were were just together. To my displeasure, we took seperate showers, but I was glad we'd get to spend all this time together today.

Me and Dico had a cleaning supplies war, and Ape yelled at us. I helped Raab carry in boards, and he lay down on the stage.

"Raab, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Raab!" Bam yelled from across the room. "You've seriously been working for like, 20 minutes!"

"I carried all these boards in!" Raab defended himself.

"There's... there's three of them! What a looser!" Bam rolled his eyes, and I sat down by Raab.

Vito came in, and was very unhappy to see two people resting. Even though his fat ass wasn't doing a damn thing.

"Got no tiddly just joogle you can't just goat duggle with a hammer and nail and hammer something and expect it to grow! Beglat these idiots sitting hernwaga ehhm just sitting glawhahwaglahh what they're doin! I'm gettin the hell outta here, you don't make any sense." Vito yelled, sending me and Raab into a fit of laughter.

"I couldn't find one word he just said!" Bam laughed.

"I don't know how you deal with these vulcan idiots, I'm leaving." Vito said as he made his way out the door.

SLAYER ARRIVES IN 22:34:28

Bam, Dico, Raab, Dunn and I hopped into Bam's hummer, and followed Don Vito down the road.

"This is the dating intervention. We got Don Vito up there, we're following him. And we need to get him a date. First, Brandon's gonna be the test date."

"I'm gonna treat him how to treat a lady, that scumbag pig." Dico said.

At the first red light, Dico hopped out of the car quickly and jumped into Vito's. I climbed into the front seat with Bam. He gave me one of those sparkly blue eye smiles.

We continued with Vito's pursuit.

"He's either gonna take his test date to pizza, hoagies, wings, or a strip club." Bam said. "Ooh! Strip club."

I gave him a disgusted look, and he laughed at me.

"Oh my god, look at this shit. He's taking his test date to ten cent wings." I said in disbelief. "Thats why he's 49 and unmarried. That and the skin tags and fat."

Bam and Ryan laughed, and we all got out of the car.

I told Don Vito to open up the door for his date, and he did.

"Go on, get your ass in there." He said, and pushed Dico in.

Bam, on the other hand, opened it nicely for me, making my face heat up.

That trip to wings n' things told me that Don Vito would never get a date. Ever. He was the most disgusting thing alive.

SLAYER ARRIVES IN 20:14:58

I really didn't feel like dealing with anymore Don Vito nastiness, so I decided to spend the rest of the day helping out April.

"I can't believe we only have 24 hours to paint four rooms and finish a pirate bar." I told Ape as we worked on the first room.

"I know. Slayer are gonna love their rooms though. They'll feel like little kings in here."

I smiled at Ape. She was such a mom. Impossible not to just adore the hell out of her.

SLAYER ARRIVES IN 18:20:43

Bam came in after we were just starting on the second room.

"Well, I like heavy metal." Ape said, continuing their half conversation, half argument as I half tuned them out.

"Well, this is like, heavy metal." Bam said skeptically.

"I like heavy metal."

"This is like-" Bam gave an example of a guitar riff.

"Heavier than Metallica?" Ape asked.

"Yeah." Bam replied.

"Really?" Ape asked, and continued to paint. "Like Def Leppard. My favorite." Ape said to me.

"Dude! Ape!"

"What?"

"I know you think like Def Leppard and like, Journey is heavy metal-"

"No, I'm past Journey." Ape said.

"I'm talking about-" Again, Bam gave another instrument example, and then a vocal attempt at screaming.

Bam flopped on the bed behind me as April told him to call the rest of the guys to come back and help us.

"I can't, we have to get Vito a date for this thing." Bam said.

I snorted.

"What? You don't think we can?" Bam asked me.

"Hell no." I scoffed.

"Why?" Bam laughed.

"He's disgusting! Those test dates you have set up will last a minute. Each. Like, I'm not even kidding. Those poor girls will need therapy." I shook my head.

"C'mon Ollie, don't you think thats a little harsh?" Bam raised an eyebrow and smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes, and wiped some of the sweat off of my forehead. I guess my feelings from deep within my heart started to show on my face, because Bam all of a sudden looked extremly worried.

"You okay, Ollie?" He sat up and put a hand on my arm.

I nodded. "Just a headache. My stomach's been acting a little weird since we moved."

"Take a break, Ol. I'll finish up with Ape, alright?" The look in his icy blue eyes made my stomach even more sick. He was genuinely worried about me.

I nodded, and swallowed the thick lump in my throat, and went into the bathroom farthest away from where Bam was.

Bam's POV:

I really was starting to worry about Olive. She hadn't been right since about three days into moving to west chester. After we had all her stuff moved, she started to act different. I was beggining to wonder if she really wanted to be here at all.

"I'm really starting to worry about her, Bam." My mom said as she continued to paint taking the words straight from my own mind.

"Me too..." I said.

"I think I have a feeling I know what's wrong." Ape said, looking out after where Olive left.

"And that is?"

"Bam, I think Olive has feelings for you. Her and Jenn don't get along, she starts to get red and clammy everytime you and Jenn are around her together. She hides behind Dunn half the time, she barely talks..."

"That's insane, Ape. Ollie... no." I shook my head. That was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard.

I was the one who liked Olive.

Before Jenn and I started dating I'd done everything in my ability to try and get her to date me. But she never did. I knew I was being obvious. So, I knew she didn't like me that way.

"Bam, open your eyes!" Ape stressed. "She's always liked you. You don't believe me, ask Ryan. He's the only one besides me that Olive has ever told."

"Wait... She told you?" I asked.

Ape sighed.

"What am I supposed to do now? I'm in too deep with Jenn to do anything about it..." I asked, in total defeat.

"Give it a little time and see how things work out, okay? I can finish up here. Just go work on the bar."

I nodded, and ran my hands through my hair as I walked down the stairs.

"Jesus christ..." I muttered as I saw Jenn, talking with Raab.

"Hey baby." Jenn greeted me with a smile.

"Hi." I said back, not even looking at her.

I could tell she wanted to ask what was wrong, but she didn't. She always saved it for later.

Ollie finally came down the stairs with her hand in Dico's a few minutes later, after Dunn fucked up the paint on one of the bones for the wall.

"Feeling better?" I asked her.

She nodded with a smile.

She looked like she'd been crying. I bet Dico had talked her down a bit, and now she felt okay. She looked up at me, and I gave her the same worried look. She glanced over at Jenn, who I didn't know was even still in the room, and was glairing daggers at Ollie. I gave Jenn a look, and she looked away, but I knew as soon as I stopped paying attention, she stared coldly at Olive once again.

"Its almost time to leave to help Vito with his test dates." I announced.

"Am I coming along?" Jenn asked.

"Nope. Me, Dunn, Dico, Raab, Rake, and Olive." I stated coldly.

"Olive's going?"

"The crew. Yeah." I replied, and walked past her. I knew she turned around to stop me, but I yelled for everyone before she could.

SLAYER ARRIVES IN 15:22:27

Olive's POV:

"Vito's on his first date right now, we have a microphone and he has an earpeice so we can stay stuff to him so he doesn't screw it all up." Bam explained what was happening into the camera.

I felt a certain sense of happiness, and a little bit of pride when I saw how cold Bam was to Jenn before we left. I guess he finally saw how awful she was treating me, and wasn't all too happy about it. Again, you can call me selfish if you want, but I didn't like Jenn. She didn't deserve Bam, and I planned on her happy ending never happening.

We sat across the resturant from where Vito and his first date sat. We all had headphones, so we could hear. I smugly sipped on my drink, amused by Vito, and evilly happy about the Jenn/Bam situation.

"Hi, how ya doin. I'm Don Vito. Nice to meet you." Vito introduced himself to a beautiful exotic girl.

"Hi, I'm Itona, nice to meet you too." She said back, and he kissed her on the cheek.

"Yuck..." I whispered under my breath, and Bam smiled at me.

They sat down, and the horror show began.

"You have very nice breasts." Vito 'complimented' her.

We all tried to contain our hysterics and Bam grabbed the microphone.

"Don't go straight for the titties you dumbass!" Bam told him.

"Do you have any tattoos?" Vito asked.

"Yes, I do." Itona replied.

"Where at? Private places?" Vito guessed.

"Yeah," Itona said. She seemed to be kind of having an okay time.

"Can I see?" Vito asked.

"Maybe later on, right?" Itona laughed.

"Its later now." Vito said.

I slammed my head on the table in frustration.

"Ask her if she likes your wandering eye." Bam said into the microphone.

"NO! No, no way." Vito said, to us, and Itona looked mad confused.

The rest of the date was just all downhill from there, and Vito moved to the next date.

It started out the same, with introductions, and this girl was a pretty blonde named Stephanie.

"Stand up, Military salute." Dunn said, and Vito did.

"You have a nice ass." Vito said.

"No!" We all said in sync.

"Best ass ever!" Vito yelled.

"No! Stop saying that!" Bam yelled.

"Ask her if she likes Slayer." I told him.

"Do you like Slayer?" He asked.

"I've heard of them, yes." Stephanie said.

"Ask her if she likes slayer." I provoked him with a smile.

"She says she likes Slayer!" Vito yelled at me.

"Tell her you are sick, but green." Dico said.

"I got voices in my head." Vito said. "They say I'm sick, but... but green?"

"Tell her cubans shot you in the ass with a poison dart." I said.

"I got shot in the ass, with a poison dart, and now I'm in love."

And again, all downhill.

The next date was in a coffee shop, and we stood outside to watch.

The next girl was Brooke.

"Tell her mocha frappocinos are bullshit." Bam said.

"What's your favorite drink? Mocha frappocino?" Vito asked.

"Mochacinno, yeah."

"Thats bullshit! I don wanna any of that!" Vito yelled.

Bam spotted a blonde wearing a low cut blue top.

"Look at the nice breasts behind you!" Bam said.

Vito turned around immeadiatly.

"You have nice breasts." He stated calmly, and the blonde laughed.

Vito then invited her to sit with him and his date.

Its safe to say, Date 3... Rejected.

3 strikes and Vito was O-U-T.

SLAYER ARRIVES IN 4:24:30

The next day came quickly. I was still staying in Ryan's room, so I was awoken by the sound of him snoring. I'd slept in a little longer than I had anticipated, so I brushed my hair and got dressed quickly.

The pirate bar was offically done, and the stage for Slayer was officially done.

SLAYER ARRIVES IN 00:00:00

One thing that was unmistakable about Jenn...

Her extreme fliriting with guys who weren't Bam.

I'd seen it before with Raab, but with the guys from Slayer... Jesus Christ, I could have killed her right there in front of all the people who had come for the housewarming party.

Dunn's girlfriend, Angie, could tell I was on edge.

"Its Jenn, isn't it?" She asked as she handed me a beer.

"I can't even believe her." I said through my teeth with tears in my eyes.

"She tries way to hard. I know. Bam is honestly the only guy in the world who thinks she's hot. And he's starting to not think so anymore. I can tell. You can see the high level of respect she has for him, right? And hopefully you can sense the sarcasm in my voice." Angie said as we both looked at her, with her chest puffed out.

I snorted a laugh. "Angie, I missed you."

"I missed you too. Now, c'mon. Quit moping. You're the prettiest girl here. and the most badass. Start showing it. Show her up like you did when you skated." Angie told me.

I smiled and nodded. She was right. The only way I would win Bam's heart was if I was better than Jenn. That meant, being myself, and not even paying her any mind.

We clinked out bottles together, and setteled in to watch the show, her beside Dunn, and I in between her and Rake. Me and Rake already claimed spots next to each other because we were head banging buddies. He called me the queen of headbanging. Everyone did. It was my thing.

That was definitely one thing I could beat Jenn at. She just looked ridiculous when she tried to headbang.

When the party was over, I had a serious headache. One I liked to call, a "bang-over". I'd come up with this term for the unique headache you get when you headbang for a long period of time. It sounds sexual, I know. But I got them a lot. I went to concerts once a month.

I wasn't tired though, so I sat down in the pirate bar with my guitar, working on a song I'd been playing around with for a while. The melody was really pretty, so I decided to work on some lyrics for it.

It was surprising to me, with this bad of a headache, I wrote such an amazing song. I'd have to send it to the guys. This would be an official song.

I lay back on the couch and set my guitar on the floor, not really wanting to sleep upstairs. Upstairs was where Bam and Jenn slept in the same room, same bed together. Where I should be.

I heard footsteps on the stairs, and Bam came into view. He wasn't surprised to see me though. He was coming to talk to me.

"Olive, can I ask you something?" He asked.

"Yeah... What's up?" I asked.

Bam sighed, and sat on my legs. I laughed as he leaned back, comfortable as ever.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" He asked.

"How do you mean?" I asked.

He sighed again, and this time completely lay on top of me, both of out bodies facing upwards. I let out a loud giggle.

"With Jenn... I'm really starting to have my doubts about, well... everything. The 6 year age difference, her attitude towards my friends, her flirting with other guys... I don't know if its all in my head, or what?"

My face twisted and my eyebrows furrowed, not sure what to say. I got my arms free and wrapped them around his neck.

"I don't know what to say..." I told him.

"I know, and that's alright. I figured you wouldn't, and thats why I came to talk to you. Everyone is always telling me how right we are for each other and I'm finding that harder and harder to believe." He shook his head.

"It kinda seems like you guys are in love, though. I mean, matching tattoos, the works." I stated plainly, trying not to show any emotion.

"She'll probably regret those one day." Was all he said.

I had no clue wether to squeal with joy, or to bawl tears of joy. I decided on neither since he was right here, lying on top of me.

"Jenn is pissed at me for being cold yesterday, so I'm probably gonna sleep down here." He told me.

"I kinda need a break from Dunn's mad snoring too." I laughed.

"Well, we'll have a slumber party then. I'm not squishing you alive, am I?" He asked.

"Not really. You aren't as brawny as you think you are." I giggled.

He laughed too, and pulled the blanket from atop the couch over us.