A/N: Hey, this has taken me a while which is why I haven't posted in a while!

I just heard that appazza there's going to be a sequel to the angus, thongs film. I think this is crap beyond the universe of the crap. I really didn't enjoy it. But it might have more GeorgiaxDave in it!

Like a Seeing-eye Dog

Tuesday 23rd
4:30 pm
Creepy-creepy, quietly-quietly

Outside wet Lindsay's house. Blimey, it's nippy noodles. I am sharing a scarf with Rosie. Apparently Sven knitted it (!) and it's massive. The whole of the ace gang could wear it if we wanted to.

"Have you brought the camera-thing bob?" Mabs said.

Rosie said: "Check. I also brought snacksies."

This is excellent.

One minute later

Ro-Ro has worked out how to set up the camera. It's camouflaged to look like a twig. We're going to put it in the tree outside Lindsay's window.

Unfortunately this involves some climbing. Rosie tried climbing but we were both still wearing the scarf. I nearly got strangled.

"I'll do it," Jools said. She shinnied up the tree, quick as a quick thing. Well, not that quick. And she didn't exactly shinny – actually she nearly fell out halfway up.

But she made it and called down: "OK. I'm positioning it so it won't fall out. There."

30 minutes later
Back at Ro-Ro's house

Well, we did it! We positioned the camera outside Lindsay's window, so it will film everything she does. Like putting chicken whatsits in her bra. Or shoving a piece of string up her bum-oley. Then when we go and get it in a few days we will have it all on camera, and we can show everyone at school! Or even better, post it on the Internet for the whole world to see.

It's like Big Brother, except Lindsay doesn't know she's being filmed. We will be watching her, like a seeing-eye dog. Whatever that is.

Back home
5:32pm

The baldy-o-gram has come to visit. He has brought along his furry codpiece. Oh, heaven help us. I escaped up to my room, thankfully. I can hear Mutti and Vati and even Libby shrieking and laughing. What is the world coming to? Since when has it been all right for porn to be displayed to young, impressionable children? I will not be surprised if Libby grows up to be a hooker. The worst thing about the whole scenario, though, is that Libby actually seems to enjoy these disgusting displays.

Ten minutes later

Rom and Jule rehearsals tomorrow. I had better do some urgent plucking, as there will be males present. And no, I don't mean Herr Kamyer or Elvis Attwood, you dirty minxes, I mean the Foxwood lads – Dave the Laugh and so on. Not that I care, as he is just a mate, but I must appear presentable, as a representative of all womankind e.t.c.

One minute later
inspecting myself in mirror

Good grief.

It's a good thing I thought of plucking. I look like I have a dead vole spread-eagled above my eyes.

Plucky-plucky, quickly, quickly! Get rid of dead rodent syndrome!

Ten minutes later

All done. Time for moisturizer. My skin resembles the arse of a lizard, i.e. it does not look pretty.

Five minutes later

I am faced with a dilemma. What am I supposed to do about make-up tomorrow? Hawkeye will notice if I come into school wearing it, and even if I do it during German or in the loos after school, Miss Wilson will probably see in rehearsals. Oh, what am I to do? I will have to wear extremely subtle make-up, which enhances my natural beauty.

So just a hint of foundation, mascara, eyeliner, blusher, concealer and lippy.

No! No foundation or lippy. And maybe no eyeliner. So mascara, blusher, concealer and clear lip-gloss. Good, that's good.

In bed
11:46 pm

Tomorrow will no doubt be full of hilariosity, and many comedy PANTS opportunities. I am actually very excited.

Oh, the tension, the tension.

I will never get to sl - zzzzzzzzzz….

Wednesday 24th
12:32 pm
German

Jas still isn't speaking to any of us. She won't even look in our direction. I passed her a note.

Dear Po,
You know you love me really. Come on. I dare you to stand up right now and declare your undying un-lezzy luuurve for me. You know you want to.
If you do I'll buy you a packet of midget gems.
Gee

Jas scowled at me and began scribbling frantically on her notepad. Then she folded up the page and tossed it to me.

Georgia,
Stop being so bloody silly. What you are doing to Lindsay is uncalled for. I cannot believe you actually went and bought a camera. I hope it blows up in your face.
And for your information, I do not succumb to bribery,
Jas
p.s. I would appreciate it if you would cease calling me 'Po'. Thank You

She sounds like my Mutti. I stuck my tongue out at her, but she just flicked her fringe and put up her hand to answer a question.

4:00 pm
Rom and Jule Rehearsals

Alack forsooth, it has begun!

The foxwood lads strode in with big grins on their faces, Dave the Laugh at the front. He was saying, "But soft, what light from yonder PANTS breaks wind?" Tip-top comedy magic. We were all falling about, really laughing, but Miss Wilson had a spaz and said:

"Girls, boys, please! Romeo and Juliet must be taken seriously! It's a tragedy!"

I said, "Yes, it's a tragedy it was ever written." Unfortunately Miss Wilson heard me and gave me a stern talking to. She said that if I wasn't on tip-top behavior, she would give the part of Mercutio to somebody else.

We did a read through of the play, while the lads began painting scenery. It really is a depressing type-fandango. But Mercutio is a laugh. In one scene he starts raving on about a fairy queen. It sounds like he was on drugs to me, or very drunk. I added in some PANTS, but quite subtly. Miss Wilson was writing stuff down, anyway, so I don't think she would have noticed anything at that moment.

"Oh, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with you," I looked at Mabs and she laughed. "She is the fairies' midwife; and she comes in shape no bigger than PANTS. 
On the fore-finger of an alderman, 
drawn with a team of little PANTIES, athwart men's PANTS as they lie asleep: 
Her waggon-spokes made of long spinners' legs; 
The cover, of the wings of grasshoppers; 
The traces, of the smallest spider's PANTS…" and so on. It was a whole page long. Bloody hell, this bloke can talk. Comedy stuff, though.

The bits with Romeo were a disaster. Romeo was being played by none other than Ellen – what larks! It was ditherspaz central. Why Miss Wilson chose her is a bloody mystery. She should have chosen one of the foxwood boys. But they were strictly there for props and scenery. I did, however, think some people (Dave) fancied themselves as a bit of a Romeo. What a joke.

Anyway, this is something like what a scene with Romeo is like:

"I fear, too early: for, erm, my mind misgives. Some…some, erm, consequence, yet hanging in the stars, shall , well, erm, bitterly begin his fearful date with, with this night's revels; and expire the, ah, the term of a despised life, clos'd in my breast, by some vile forfeit of untimely, err, death: 
But He that hath the steerage of my course direct my, direct my sail! On, lusty gentlemen!"

Of course, at the part where she said the word 'breast', all the foxwood lads exploded with laughter, and she went really red and went even ditherier. How immature can you get! And they all elbowed each other and laughed at the bit where she said "Lusty gentlemen." I raised my eyebrows at Dave; it cannot be denied he is lusty. Not too sure about the gentlemen bit, though.

A/N: Well, hope you liked it! The Rom and Jule rehearsals were a laff. Plenty more where that came from!

Oh, and btw, Gee will get with Dave soon, I promise! I just need to build up the suspense a little. Ta-ra, and remember, R&R!