The Super Happy Adventures of Hiei
Chapter Three: Chapter Four
Disclaimer: Hn.
Author's Notes: *the author sits at her computer with a glass of cherry coke, hugging her big ol' stuffed horse as she types. In the background, her Yu Yu Hakusho music is playing–Romantic Soldier is the current song.*
Hi everyone! *waves* I just wanted to thank all the kind people who've reviewed this so far. You guys rule! Hm...Tasogare ni Se o Mukete (Hiei's vocal theme) just started playing...How appropriate. ^-^
A Random Comment: Hey, guess what? According to the spell-checker...
Hiei=Higi
Kurama=Cariama
Touya= Toga
Jin= In
Yusuke= Aizoaceae (O_o;;;)
Kuwabara= Cabaret
Botan= Bogan
Rando= Random
Keiko= Seiko (What in Hades is a "Seiko"?!)
Hm...Odd. At least it's not like it was for Rurouni Kenshin. I wrote "Kenshin is a rurouni who wields a sakabattou" and it changed it to "Denshin is a reran who wields a sauceboat." O_O;;; I can picture it now...Kenshin waving around a sauceboat, while Saitou holds his cedar tree (which is what katana is supposed to be, according to this spell-checker) menacingly. Yup, and Sano will have his Zansville (zanbatou)...^-^;;;
Uhh...Enjoy the fic!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
Chapter Three: The Fourth Chapter
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----
Hiei was bored. I mean, really bored. So bored he wanted to...be...unbored... ...yes...
The jaguars slept peacefully in the patch of sunlight that somehow crept through the black curtains, snoring lightly. Suddenly Hiei realized he hadn't named them! How horrible! How could he be a good pet owner if he didn't even give his poor jaguars names?
He simply had to name those jaguars. It was absolutely necessary.
Plus, it would unbore him.
Just then, Kurama walked in. Yep. Just walked on in. Hiei scowled. Jeez, didn't he have any manners at all?! You don't just walk right in to your boss's office! You knock first! What an idiot! Maybe he should fire him...
"Hiei-san?" Kurama asked politely.
No. He wouldn't fire Kurama. Kurama's hair was red. Plus, he had a cool pen with a little plastic rose on the top. It was a red rose. Red was cool.
"Ah...Hiei-san?"
Then again, Kurama was wearing brown shoes. Did he think his pathetic brown shoes were better than Hiei's beautiful shiny black shoes? Ha! Of course they weren't! He was superior to Kurama in every way possible! Sure, Kurama had red hair, but he had -black- hair! And -his- pen had a little black dragon on it! So...HA!
"Hiei-san...?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Hiei laughed.
Kurama blinked. Hiei noticed that Kurama's eyes were green. GREEN, the color of the DEVIL!
"What do you want, you fool?!" Hiei demanded.
"Ah...There's a salesman at the door who wants to see you, Hiei-san."
"Fine. While I'm gone, think of names for my jaguars. If you don't come up with ten names, you're fired!"
Kurama stared at him for a moment. "Um...sure."
Hiei smiled evilly, then threw back his head and laughed. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kurama blinked again. Hiei scowled. Damn Kurama and his perpetually blinking green eyes! GREEN, the color of the DEVIL! He glared at Kurama. Then he went to attend to this...this...-salesman-...
~*~*~
At the front door, Jin and Touya were standing next to a man dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase. Touya leaned against the wall boredly while Jin talked to the salesman happily.
"Tell me, sir, are you interested in buying–"
"Y'know, it's a nice windy day today!"
"Yes, yes it is, sir, but are you interested in—"
"I like the feel o' the wind in me hair and the sun on me back when I'm soaring up with the birds, y'know?"
"That's very interesting, sir. Would you like to–"
"Y'see? Me ears are wiggling. Ah, there's a good wiggle. The sun is bright today, don't you think?"
The salesman sighed and sat down to wait for Hiei while Jin continued talking cheerily.
Touya watched in amusement. He outstretched one hand, making ice sculptures of various things, such as Abe Lincoln in a tutu, and watching them melt.
Finally, Hiei appeared in the doorway, looking down at the salesman, who leapt up.
"Hello, Hiei-san, sir, what a delight to meet you! I have a very prestigious product to offer you, sir, if you will please give me a moment..."
"Hn." Hiei hned.
Suddenly, Botan ran over to the salesman, her eyes huge and shining. "Ooooooh! What kinda things do you sell, sir????????"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeah," drawled Yusuke, who was wearing a cowboy hat and chewing a tropical fern, since he couldn't find a piece of that grass stuff all those stereotypical cowboy-type guys chew.
"Duh. Duh. Fuh. Buh. Buuuuuh," said Kuwabara. Well, actually he said something like, "Hey! Move it Urameshi!" but that's not what Hiei heard. And this, as stated in the second chapter—and the title, for that matter, is a story about Hiei.
Waaait a second. This is only the third chapter?! That's not fair! Hm........Okay, I've got it. There is no third chapter. The third chapter does not exist. This is the fourth chapter! There's no such thing as a third chapter—it's all an illusion! So when you talk about this story to your friends, family, neighbors, pets, walls, trees, blades of grass, cars, various inanimate objects, that squirrel I set on your cousin, and strangers you see on the street, make sure you tell them that the fourth chapter is up. Not third. Fourth sounds so much cooler. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A THIRD CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okaaaaay....Um...Where was I? Oh, darn, now I have to go back and scan the stuff I already wrote just to see what the heck I'm doing.
......
Wow. This is one messed up story. If you're reading this and you like it, please, I beg of you, seek professional help. Professional kelp is better, though. You know what, instead, join me and we can have all the professional kelp we want. In fact, we'll rule the world with professional kelp.
Anyway.
Hiei made some mean comment about whatever it is Kuwabara was saying. Then he looked at the salesman and replied, "Just what are you selling?" He suddenly had a hankerin' for professional kelp. Man, he loved that stuff. Suddenly—again--he started thinking of severed hands. They were so awesome. Especially when they were still alive. A vision of a severed hand using a typewriter crossed his mind, and he smiled. Well, his lip twitched; that counts.
The salesman looked delighted. (In the background, Jin was having fun flying up high and then scaring pedestrians by zooming down in a nosedive and just barely missing them.) "Well, sir, I sell quality, low-priced, super special, never-ending, beautiful, well-groomed, capable, amazing, air- conditioned, specially prepared, shaken not stirred, fit for royalty, soft and satiny, delicate yet strong, powerful but not overwhelmingly so, supercalifragalisticexpialadocious...goats!" he exclaimed happily.
"Goats...?" everyone said, sweatdropping.
"Yes! Goats! Let us go!" said the salesman, waving his arms about and skipping. ~*~Magjickal~*~ fairy dust suddenly fell from the sky. He led them to a portable goat pen, filled with black goats, white goats, gray goats, brown goats, spotted goats, and platinum goats.
Hiei was mad! He wanted professional kelp, and he wanted it NOW!!!!!!!!!
So he calmly pulled it out of his pocket and swallowed it in one gulp.
To Be Continued...Nah, what the heck—I'll just continue it right now.
Everyone but Hiei was spellbound by the...the goats. Yeah, they were such...um...goats. They were nearly glowing in all their...ah...majesty. One of them devoured Kuwabara's hair, but nobody noticed, because they were simply enchanted by the...enchanting goats. Okay, can anyone tell I'm running out of adjectives here?
So Hiei was thoughtfully chewing a piece of professional kelp and staring at a rock when Yusuke suddenly blinked and tapped him on the shoulder, distracted by his chewing. His extremely loud, deafening, horribly thunderous, and completely unquiet chewing! My god, it was so darn loud!
"Hiei, did you notice that you're chewing a beaver?" he asked, staring at Hiei in confusion.
The demon stared at Yusuke, then at the half-chewed, severely frightened beaver he was holding. "...Well, that explains why my professional kelp was making so much noise," he muttered. Then he turned to glare at the beaver.
"RAFAEL! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!" he shouted angrily at the poor animal. Rafael twitched, swiping a paw at Hiei and hitting him in the face. The beaver was foaming at the mouth, and its eyes were as red as Clifford the Big Red Dog. The two glared at each other furiously.
By now everyone but the salesman had forgotten about the goats. They stared at Hiei as he continued to yell at the beaver, who in turn snarled and made strange gurgling noises. Kurama was there, too. I don't know why; he probably just figured Hiei and the others would end up killing themselves if he didn't come along. Or maybe he was just too scared to be alone with the extremely vicious and rather hungry jaguars. Whatever. I don't really care. The point is, he was there.
Kurama blinked, looking at Kuwabara, who was still bald thanks to those goats. Deciding not to ask, he whispered, "I think it's rabid..." Yusuke, Botan, Bald Kuwabara, and Touya nodded in agreement. Jin was discussing the power of cheese with a goat.
"I DON'T CARE WHAT THE REASON WAS! BILLY WAS ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD! YOU DON'T LEAVE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD ALONE, DAMMIT, RAFAEL!" Hiei yelled.
"Schnerrrrrkkkkkkaaaaaaafffffhhhhh. Hsssssssssshhhhhhhhssssssssss," snarled the rabid beaver.
Just then, Genkai walked up! She was wearing her usual outfit--farmer style overalls and a straw hat with a banjo and a pitchfork strapped to her back. She also had one of those necklaces with the big gold money signs hanging on the chain, and her shirt read, 'IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU MUST POLISH A COW'S NOSTRILS'.
"Yo yo yo, wazzup my homies??????" she said, winking at all of them. Then she looked up at Kuwabara.
"Yo Kuwa, ma man, you get a new do?" The sun reflected off Kuwabara's bald head as he turned to look at her, and she screamed and put her hands over her face.
"GAAAAAAH! MY EYES! MY @!&*&!@ EYES! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD MMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY EEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Genkai screamed, running around in circles and yelling with her hands still covering her eyes.
Youko Kurama walked by, although that's not...really...possible, and shook his head. "Tsk, tsk!" he exclaimed. "You people don't understand the meaning of friendship!" Then a squirrel handed him a guitar and he sat down, beginning to sing while strumming the guitar.
"Friends are friends until the end! Friends will always be there for you, even if you don't want them to! Friends are friendly, friendly friends! Friends are friends until the end!" he sang cheerfully, smiling widely at everyone. He repeated this seven hundred times.
Yusuke, Jin, Touya, Kuwabara, and Botan watched speechlessly as Kurama held his hands over his ears and screamed, "I'M NOT LISTENING! YOU HEAR ME YOUKO??!?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAHUIGWHHUIEGTYIUDGAIJBXJKBXUIQHGIUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!"
He joined Genkai in running around in circles screaming. Hiei was still yelling at Rafael the rabid beaver, and Rafael was still making those weird noises. As for the goat salesman, he was never seen again. Although, his goats were seen eating his driver's license, but that's another story. Toguro rode past on a hot pink tricycle with Barbie while wearing a pink fairy princess outfit, complete with sparkling crown, but nobody noticed as he fell off a cliff to his doom and was quickly devoured by the dreaded flamingo people of northern California. (Yes, people of northern California, I am speaking about YOU! Oh, don't put on the innocent act; I know the truth! YOU'RE A FLAMINGO PEOPLE! Not person. PEOPLE!)
Finally, Hiei seemed to have come to an agreement with Rafael. He strode calmly over to the rest of the group with the half-chewed, rabid beaver perched on his shoulder like a parrot or something. "STOP THAT INFERNAL SCREECHING, DAMMIT!" he yelled, breaking Youko's guitar in half. Kurama collapsed and let his hands fall to his side in relief. (Genkai, however, was still screaming and running around in circles.) Youko's lower lip trembled, and he gazed at Hiei, sniffing as tears welled up in his eyes. "WHYYYYYY?!?!?!?!" he cried, holding the broken pieces of his beloved guitar and sobbing.
"NERF!" Hiei replied.
"Oh, okay then," the fox demon said brightly. "I know a better song, anyway!"
"OH, GOD, NO! PLEEEEEEEEASE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kurama yelled, grabbing Youko by the shoulders and shaking him, his eyes bloodshot.
Youko glared at the redhead. "Kurama, lay off the marijuana," he replied coolly.
Kurama looked at the ground. "But it makes the owies go bye-bye," he said in a small voice. "It's my fwend."
Everyone backed away from Kurama, who twitched and smiled strangely, then fell asleep on the floor. Hiei decided not to fire him. Who knows what the madman would do if he did?!
Botan was suddenly very angry! "Well, what's your @!&*@!* song?!?!?!?!" she screamed at Youko.
Youko grinned and jumped up. Music started coming out of nowhere. "DA NA NA NA NA! GHOSTBUSTERS!" he sang.
Well, that seemed to be just what everyone needed. Youko, Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, Bald Kuwabara, Botan, Jin, Touya, Rafael the Rabid Beaver, Genkai, the goats, and Keiko (who had been in hiding with the dreaded FLAMINGO PEOPLE OF NORTHERN CALIFORNIA) put their differences aside, held hands, and sang this wondrous song.
The legends say that even today, the mountains still ring with their mystical call...
"DA NA NA NA NA! GHOSTBUSTERS!"
Makes you wonder if there really is life on Mars, huh?
.....
....Disregard that.
TO BE CONTINUED!
-=-=-O_o-=-=-
That was...odd. 0_0;;;
REVIEW OR I'LL SIC RAFAEL ON YOU!
Chapter Three: Chapter Four
Disclaimer: Hn.
Author's Notes: *the author sits at her computer with a glass of cherry coke, hugging her big ol' stuffed horse as she types. In the background, her Yu Yu Hakusho music is playing–Romantic Soldier is the current song.*
Hi everyone! *waves* I just wanted to thank all the kind people who've reviewed this so far. You guys rule! Hm...Tasogare ni Se o Mukete (Hiei's vocal theme) just started playing...How appropriate. ^-^
A Random Comment: Hey, guess what? According to the spell-checker...
Hiei=Higi
Kurama=Cariama
Touya= Toga
Jin= In
Yusuke= Aizoaceae (O_o;;;)
Kuwabara= Cabaret
Botan= Bogan
Rando= Random
Keiko= Seiko (What in Hades is a "Seiko"?!)
Hm...Odd. At least it's not like it was for Rurouni Kenshin. I wrote "Kenshin is a rurouni who wields a sakabattou" and it changed it to "Denshin is a reran who wields a sauceboat." O_O;;; I can picture it now...Kenshin waving around a sauceboat, while Saitou holds his cedar tree (which is what katana is supposed to be, according to this spell-checker) menacingly. Yup, and Sano will have his Zansville (zanbatou)...^-^;;;
Uhh...Enjoy the fic!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
Chapter Three: The Fourth Chapter
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----
Hiei was bored. I mean, really bored. So bored he wanted to...be...unbored... ...yes...
The jaguars slept peacefully in the patch of sunlight that somehow crept through the black curtains, snoring lightly. Suddenly Hiei realized he hadn't named them! How horrible! How could he be a good pet owner if he didn't even give his poor jaguars names?
He simply had to name those jaguars. It was absolutely necessary.
Plus, it would unbore him.
Just then, Kurama walked in. Yep. Just walked on in. Hiei scowled. Jeez, didn't he have any manners at all?! You don't just walk right in to your boss's office! You knock first! What an idiot! Maybe he should fire him...
"Hiei-san?" Kurama asked politely.
No. He wouldn't fire Kurama. Kurama's hair was red. Plus, he had a cool pen with a little plastic rose on the top. It was a red rose. Red was cool.
"Ah...Hiei-san?"
Then again, Kurama was wearing brown shoes. Did he think his pathetic brown shoes were better than Hiei's beautiful shiny black shoes? Ha! Of course they weren't! He was superior to Kurama in every way possible! Sure, Kurama had red hair, but he had -black- hair! And -his- pen had a little black dragon on it! So...HA!
"Hiei-san...?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Hiei laughed.
Kurama blinked. Hiei noticed that Kurama's eyes were green. GREEN, the color of the DEVIL!
"What do you want, you fool?!" Hiei demanded.
"Ah...There's a salesman at the door who wants to see you, Hiei-san."
"Fine. While I'm gone, think of names for my jaguars. If you don't come up with ten names, you're fired!"
Kurama stared at him for a moment. "Um...sure."
Hiei smiled evilly, then threw back his head and laughed. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kurama blinked again. Hiei scowled. Damn Kurama and his perpetually blinking green eyes! GREEN, the color of the DEVIL! He glared at Kurama. Then he went to attend to this...this...-salesman-...
~*~*~
At the front door, Jin and Touya were standing next to a man dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase. Touya leaned against the wall boredly while Jin talked to the salesman happily.
"Tell me, sir, are you interested in buying–"
"Y'know, it's a nice windy day today!"
"Yes, yes it is, sir, but are you interested in—"
"I like the feel o' the wind in me hair and the sun on me back when I'm soaring up with the birds, y'know?"
"That's very interesting, sir. Would you like to–"
"Y'see? Me ears are wiggling. Ah, there's a good wiggle. The sun is bright today, don't you think?"
The salesman sighed and sat down to wait for Hiei while Jin continued talking cheerily.
Touya watched in amusement. He outstretched one hand, making ice sculptures of various things, such as Abe Lincoln in a tutu, and watching them melt.
Finally, Hiei appeared in the doorway, looking down at the salesman, who leapt up.
"Hello, Hiei-san, sir, what a delight to meet you! I have a very prestigious product to offer you, sir, if you will please give me a moment..."
"Hn." Hiei hned.
Suddenly, Botan ran over to the salesman, her eyes huge and shining. "Ooooooh! What kinda things do you sell, sir????????"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeah," drawled Yusuke, who was wearing a cowboy hat and chewing a tropical fern, since he couldn't find a piece of that grass stuff all those stereotypical cowboy-type guys chew.
"Duh. Duh. Fuh. Buh. Buuuuuh," said Kuwabara. Well, actually he said something like, "Hey! Move it Urameshi!" but that's not what Hiei heard. And this, as stated in the second chapter—and the title, for that matter, is a story about Hiei.
Waaait a second. This is only the third chapter?! That's not fair! Hm........Okay, I've got it. There is no third chapter. The third chapter does not exist. This is the fourth chapter! There's no such thing as a third chapter—it's all an illusion! So when you talk about this story to your friends, family, neighbors, pets, walls, trees, blades of grass, cars, various inanimate objects, that squirrel I set on your cousin, and strangers you see on the street, make sure you tell them that the fourth chapter is up. Not third. Fourth sounds so much cooler. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A THIRD CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okaaaaay....Um...Where was I? Oh, darn, now I have to go back and scan the stuff I already wrote just to see what the heck I'm doing.
......
Wow. This is one messed up story. If you're reading this and you like it, please, I beg of you, seek professional help. Professional kelp is better, though. You know what, instead, join me and we can have all the professional kelp we want. In fact, we'll rule the world with professional kelp.
Anyway.
Hiei made some mean comment about whatever it is Kuwabara was saying. Then he looked at the salesman and replied, "Just what are you selling?" He suddenly had a hankerin' for professional kelp. Man, he loved that stuff. Suddenly—again--he started thinking of severed hands. They were so awesome. Especially when they were still alive. A vision of a severed hand using a typewriter crossed his mind, and he smiled. Well, his lip twitched; that counts.
The salesman looked delighted. (In the background, Jin was having fun flying up high and then scaring pedestrians by zooming down in a nosedive and just barely missing them.) "Well, sir, I sell quality, low-priced, super special, never-ending, beautiful, well-groomed, capable, amazing, air- conditioned, specially prepared, shaken not stirred, fit for royalty, soft and satiny, delicate yet strong, powerful but not overwhelmingly so, supercalifragalisticexpialadocious...goats!" he exclaimed happily.
"Goats...?" everyone said, sweatdropping.
"Yes! Goats! Let us go!" said the salesman, waving his arms about and skipping. ~*~Magjickal~*~ fairy dust suddenly fell from the sky. He led them to a portable goat pen, filled with black goats, white goats, gray goats, brown goats, spotted goats, and platinum goats.
Hiei was mad! He wanted professional kelp, and he wanted it NOW!!!!!!!!!
So he calmly pulled it out of his pocket and swallowed it in one gulp.
To Be Continued...Nah, what the heck—I'll just continue it right now.
Everyone but Hiei was spellbound by the...the goats. Yeah, they were such...um...goats. They were nearly glowing in all their...ah...majesty. One of them devoured Kuwabara's hair, but nobody noticed, because they were simply enchanted by the...enchanting goats. Okay, can anyone tell I'm running out of adjectives here?
So Hiei was thoughtfully chewing a piece of professional kelp and staring at a rock when Yusuke suddenly blinked and tapped him on the shoulder, distracted by his chewing. His extremely loud, deafening, horribly thunderous, and completely unquiet chewing! My god, it was so darn loud!
"Hiei, did you notice that you're chewing a beaver?" he asked, staring at Hiei in confusion.
The demon stared at Yusuke, then at the half-chewed, severely frightened beaver he was holding. "...Well, that explains why my professional kelp was making so much noise," he muttered. Then he turned to glare at the beaver.
"RAFAEL! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!" he shouted angrily at the poor animal. Rafael twitched, swiping a paw at Hiei and hitting him in the face. The beaver was foaming at the mouth, and its eyes were as red as Clifford the Big Red Dog. The two glared at each other furiously.
By now everyone but the salesman had forgotten about the goats. They stared at Hiei as he continued to yell at the beaver, who in turn snarled and made strange gurgling noises. Kurama was there, too. I don't know why; he probably just figured Hiei and the others would end up killing themselves if he didn't come along. Or maybe he was just too scared to be alone with the extremely vicious and rather hungry jaguars. Whatever. I don't really care. The point is, he was there.
Kurama blinked, looking at Kuwabara, who was still bald thanks to those goats. Deciding not to ask, he whispered, "I think it's rabid..." Yusuke, Botan, Bald Kuwabara, and Touya nodded in agreement. Jin was discussing the power of cheese with a goat.
"I DON'T CARE WHAT THE REASON WAS! BILLY WAS ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD! YOU DON'T LEAVE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD ALONE, DAMMIT, RAFAEL!" Hiei yelled.
"Schnerrrrrkkkkkkaaaaaaafffffhhhhh. Hsssssssssshhhhhhhhssssssssss," snarled the rabid beaver.
Just then, Genkai walked up! She was wearing her usual outfit--farmer style overalls and a straw hat with a banjo and a pitchfork strapped to her back. She also had one of those necklaces with the big gold money signs hanging on the chain, and her shirt read, 'IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU MUST POLISH A COW'S NOSTRILS'.
"Yo yo yo, wazzup my homies??????" she said, winking at all of them. Then she looked up at Kuwabara.
"Yo Kuwa, ma man, you get a new do?" The sun reflected off Kuwabara's bald head as he turned to look at her, and she screamed and put her hands over her face.
"GAAAAAAH! MY EYES! MY @!&*&!@ EYES! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD MMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY EEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Genkai screamed, running around in circles and yelling with her hands still covering her eyes.
Youko Kurama walked by, although that's not...really...possible, and shook his head. "Tsk, tsk!" he exclaimed. "You people don't understand the meaning of friendship!" Then a squirrel handed him a guitar and he sat down, beginning to sing while strumming the guitar.
"Friends are friends until the end! Friends will always be there for you, even if you don't want them to! Friends are friendly, friendly friends! Friends are friends until the end!" he sang cheerfully, smiling widely at everyone. He repeated this seven hundred times.
Yusuke, Jin, Touya, Kuwabara, and Botan watched speechlessly as Kurama held his hands over his ears and screamed, "I'M NOT LISTENING! YOU HEAR ME YOUKO??!?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAHUIGWHHUIEGTYIUDGAIJBXJKBXUIQHGIUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!"
He joined Genkai in running around in circles screaming. Hiei was still yelling at Rafael the rabid beaver, and Rafael was still making those weird noises. As for the goat salesman, he was never seen again. Although, his goats were seen eating his driver's license, but that's another story. Toguro rode past on a hot pink tricycle with Barbie while wearing a pink fairy princess outfit, complete with sparkling crown, but nobody noticed as he fell off a cliff to his doom and was quickly devoured by the dreaded flamingo people of northern California. (Yes, people of northern California, I am speaking about YOU! Oh, don't put on the innocent act; I know the truth! YOU'RE A FLAMINGO PEOPLE! Not person. PEOPLE!)
Finally, Hiei seemed to have come to an agreement with Rafael. He strode calmly over to the rest of the group with the half-chewed, rabid beaver perched on his shoulder like a parrot or something. "STOP THAT INFERNAL SCREECHING, DAMMIT!" he yelled, breaking Youko's guitar in half. Kurama collapsed and let his hands fall to his side in relief. (Genkai, however, was still screaming and running around in circles.) Youko's lower lip trembled, and he gazed at Hiei, sniffing as tears welled up in his eyes. "WHYYYYYY?!?!?!?!" he cried, holding the broken pieces of his beloved guitar and sobbing.
"NERF!" Hiei replied.
"Oh, okay then," the fox demon said brightly. "I know a better song, anyway!"
"OH, GOD, NO! PLEEEEEEEEASE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kurama yelled, grabbing Youko by the shoulders and shaking him, his eyes bloodshot.
Youko glared at the redhead. "Kurama, lay off the marijuana," he replied coolly.
Kurama looked at the ground. "But it makes the owies go bye-bye," he said in a small voice. "It's my fwend."
Everyone backed away from Kurama, who twitched and smiled strangely, then fell asleep on the floor. Hiei decided not to fire him. Who knows what the madman would do if he did?!
Botan was suddenly very angry! "Well, what's your @!&*@!* song?!?!?!?!" she screamed at Youko.
Youko grinned and jumped up. Music started coming out of nowhere. "DA NA NA NA NA! GHOSTBUSTERS!" he sang.
Well, that seemed to be just what everyone needed. Youko, Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, Bald Kuwabara, Botan, Jin, Touya, Rafael the Rabid Beaver, Genkai, the goats, and Keiko (who had been in hiding with the dreaded FLAMINGO PEOPLE OF NORTHERN CALIFORNIA) put their differences aside, held hands, and sang this wondrous song.
The legends say that even today, the mountains still ring with their mystical call...
"DA NA NA NA NA! GHOSTBUSTERS!"
Makes you wonder if there really is life on Mars, huh?
.....
....Disregard that.
TO BE CONTINUED!
-=-=-O_o-=-=-
That was...odd. 0_0;;;
REVIEW OR I'LL SIC RAFAEL ON YOU!