-3-

When I wake up, it´s dark everywhere and I´m disoriented. I sit up. The thing I´m sitting on is soft and comfortable. I get up and fumble my way along the wall until I find a light switch. The sudden brightness blinds me and I shield my eyes with my hand. Slowly my eyes get accustomed to the penetrating light and I can take in my surroundings. I´m in my room. Well, that was much fuss about nothing. I glance at the clock on my desk. It´s shortly after midnight. I´m wearing my PJs, even though I can not recall putting them on. I shrug it off and climb back into bed. Tomorrow is the great day! Tomorrow is my first day as a Junior in high school.

I wake up only a couple of seconds before my alarm goes off. I didn´t get a lot of sleep last night, since I went to bed late and woke up several times, but I´m not tired at all and ready to go. I take my back to school outfit, white shorts and a red shirt, and some underwear and hurry to get into the bathroom before my brother gets up and beats me to it. I take a quick shower and get ready. I walk up to my brothers room and wake him up. I´m not particularly keen on getting up early, but if it wasn´t for me Derek would oversleep every single day of his life. He grunts and I take that he will get up eventually.

Downstairs my mom is already waiting with breakfast. I gulp it down, eager to get to school and my friends. The motivation is certainly the greatest at the beginning of the year. It wears of quicker than my dad´s hair falls out. I´m in my car before I know it and glance at the clock, it´s only half past six. What? Inside my mom and brother are waiting so school seems the better option. I stop at Starbucks for coffee and take one for Lily, too, after I text her.

There is not much going on at school yet, most people will arrive just in time to throw their stuff into their lockers and get to class. I can´t find either Lily´s nor Josh´s car so I sit down on the hood of mine and enjoy my coffee. A huge eagle flies over by over my head and its shadow makes me flinch. Okay, jumpy much. I massage my temples since I feel a slight headache coming. At five past eight Lily and Josh finally arrive together in Josh´s car. I walk over to them and hand Lily her now only slightly warm Latte Macchiato.

Together we walk inside and Lily complains that I still haven´t answered her texts. Confused I take a look at my phone. Indeed, there are several missed texts and calls from yesterday.

"I´m sorry, I went to the library to get it yesterday and afterwards I must´ve fallen asleep. What do they say?"

"Just read them in class. We can talk about it later." She turns around to Josh, who´s locker is at the other end of the school, while Lily´s and mine are practically next to each other. There is only one locker separating us and that belongs to Jason Delos. He´s the reason why Josh is Lily´s first boyfriend. For as long as I can remember she´s had a crush on him, but he never even seemed to notice her, or any other girl for that matter.

We get to our lockers and go to class. I have so many AP classes and Lily doesn´t that we hardly have any classes together. First period I have independent study. I walk to the English classroom and get my assignments, syllabus and text book. I go to the library and am pretty much alone except for two other girls sitting in one of the corners. I put up my text book to prevent the librarian Miss Jackson from seeing my phone. Almost all of Lily´s text are the same.

I´m not sure that thing between me and Josh will work out. Crap!

Like, I think he really likes me, but for me it´s more like friends with benefits, u know? Double crap!

Emma? r u there?

Why aren´t u answering? And so on and on. Fifteen texts in total. And six missed calls, too.

That´s exactly why I was worried. I don´t want our friendship to be destroyed, just because they took the next step. Of course I knew Josh had a crush on Lily since seventh grade.

I get through all my classes until lunch and hardly notice my worsening headache, because I´m busy thinking about a solution for Lily and Josh.

I walk into the cafeteria and see Lily and Josh standing in line together. As Lily sees me she raises her eyebrows in question, but I just shake my head, indicating that I don´t want to talk about it right now since Josh is standing right next to us.

After we both finish our lunch, Lily and I got to the restroom together and talk from cabin to cabin after thoroughly checking that we´re alone.

"Why did you start dating him in the first place?"

"I don´t know. I mean I really like him and the sex is-"

"No, no, no, no! Stop it right there! Josh is like a brother to me, actually more since he´s so much better than Derek, but I don´t want to hear any of the glorious details!"

"Okay, okay. Anyway I don´t know. I guess it is hard to see the difference between feelings and feelings.

"But maybe, if you say you see each other like friends with benefits… maybe you could talk to him about it? Don´t just blurt it out. Or maybe you just don´t say anything and you just keep trying? I really don´t want you to ending up not talking to each other. That would really suck for me, you´re my two best friends."

"I know… maybe you could talk to him and find out how it is for him?"

"Oh my god, you two are supposed to be a couple. Couples talk to each other! But yes, yes I will talk to him. Let´s get back to him before he begins to wonder rather you fell into the toilet."

We get back to our lunch table and only a couple of minutes later the bell rings. I´m sitting in AP Bio as there is a piercing pain in my head. A small scream escapes my lips. I mutter an apology to the teacher and stumble out of the classroom. I make my way to the bathroom, but I don´t make it. Small, black clouds close in on me from all sides and I black out. I fall slowly and hear faint footsteps hitting the ground in the distance.

I wake up to the movement of waves. Up. Down. Up. Down. As my senses wake up I can feel firm arm curled around me. I open my eyes and look up into the handsome face of Jason Delos. I try to speak, to ask him why he´s carrying me, but all I manage to force through my lips is a quiet grunt. He hears it and looks down at me with a look of relieve on his face. In that moment he carries me through a door and the nurse jumps up from behind her desk.

"What happened?"

"I don´t know." Jason answers quickly, but efficiently. "I found her blacked out in the hallway. She just woke up on the way here."

"Put her down on the stretcher over there, if you don´t mind."

Jason gently puts me down on a clinical looking stretcher in the middle of the room.

"I´m okay. I just need to sit down."

"Emma, you were out cold. That was not just a little faint. What happened?" Jason asks.

"Yes, Emma. I´d like to know that, too. Did you have any headaches or symptoms today or over the past few days?"

"I… I had a headache this morning and it got worse over the course of the day. Just now I had this feeling that someone stabbed a knife into the side of my head, that´s when I got out of class, so I could go to the restroom…"

"Why didn´t you come here?"

"I… I didn´t think… it was that bad." The nurse shakes her head and asks Jason to stay for as long as necessary. "He doesn´t have to. I feel better already."

"If it wasn´t for me, you could´ve lain there forever. Good thing Mister Benedict sent me after you."

I sigh and lean back against the wall. The nurse checks for fever and other symptoms, but apparently I´m perfectly fine. She calls my parents and tells them that I´ll be on my way home in order to rest. I try to protest, say that I´m fine, and I really am. I don´t want to miss the first day of school. Nothing helps. Half an hour later I´m back in my room at home. My mom and dad both called and mom told me she will come home as soon as she finds someone to take her place at work. I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

What the hell was that?

And then the memories begin to surface. The memories of a dark alley. A girl. Black boots. And a face. A face with blue eyes.