Sasuke was 17 and a senior in high school, when he hated everything with a burning passion.

As senior year in high school rolled into Sasuke's life, so did all the pressure from his family. Itachi, being the prodigy, he'd always been, still flew through the ranks without any complications while more and more became impressed by his skills. In the meantime, Sasuke was at a standstill. He was still deeply hurt by Sakura's betrayal, but he chose to replace it with anger at her and every other female that would dare try to go near him.

Sasuke would never admit it, but he was truly grateful for Naruto's loyalty and friendship towards him even though, he had also been a friend of the pink haired girl. At first, the blonde had still had light conversations with Sakura, but it soon faded when they were not put in the same class as her in their senior year. The blonde had at first been devastated but he never mentioned Sakura in front of him and for that, Sasuke was grateful. The small guilt that nagged in the back of his mind was pushed away by the excuse, that Naruto had chosen to stay by his best friend's side.

Unfortunately, Karin had been put in their class and while he found it incredibly annoying to have her hanging of his arm at any chance she'd get, he was secretly comforted by the fact that someone was so deeply devoted to him, and him only. Yet he would only glare at her and sneer whenever her obsession with him became too much.

Sasuke's home was no longer the caring and comforting home, he had precious memories of. The clan elders kept pushing his father to work Sasuke harder. Pushing him to become more like Itachi, and Sasuke hated every part of it, yet he never uttered a word and silently nodded whenever his father would scold him for not good enough grades or slacking of in physical training. He would avoid his brother, whenever he was home and he stopped accepting his mother's comforting words. He felt cold. Cold and empty, and nothing could stop him from spiralling even more downwards.

One cold autumn evening as he was nearing the kitchen, Sasuke heard his mother cry. It was a sound that absolutely broke his heart, and he could do nothing but hide in the shadows as he heard his father sigh, stand from the chair and then walk away from the kitchen. Sasuke gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as the sound of his mother's cries haunted him for the rest of the night.

Shisui, their cousin and a very close friend of Itachi had been killed on duty. What had seemed as a normal robbery at a jewel store had escalated into an exchange of gun shots, and his cousin had been dead before he even hit the floor, and his blood had coated what had once been pristine marble floors.

Shisui's funeral had been a quite affair. His and Shisui's mother had cried silently both by their husband's sides but no gentle touches or words of comfort were offered to the women. Sasuke stared har at the ground to avoid vomiting at the coldness of it all.

Itachi had been quite the past few days and only nodding while half listening as the clan elders congratulated him on yet another promotion. Sasuke felt disgusting as he felt the small thrill at seeing his own brother in pain.

Time seemed to pass fast and yet not at all after Shisui's death. One morning Sasuke found himself standing in front of his father in his father's study. "Madara has informed me of your falling stats from the last training session. I'm deeply disappointed by you, Itachi has never gotten scores this bad. I expected more from you," his father had told him, no emotions on his face. Sasuke just stared blankly ahead, "I'm sorry father, I will not disappoint you the next time," he said with no emotion. His father grunted, "I certainly hope not. Madara has suggested for me to send you to Oto to train under Orochimaru. You may never be on the same level as Itachi, but we could at least hope you to be half as good." The tiny cracks in Sasuke's heart became even bigger and he wondered if his father could hear the way, they struck deeper with each word. "For now, I will assign you to train under Kakashi. He is a very skilled inspector and may be able to save some of your talents. Don't disappoint me this time," his father more ordered than suggested. Sasuke fell even deeper into the dark pits of his mind. "Yes father," he answered before turning around and walking out the study.

The rest of senior year went by in a blur. When Sasuke wasn't at school or studying, he would be training with Kakashi. Naruto had even complained about not being able to spend time with his best friend but Sasuke had only ignored the guilt and told his best friend that "this is just something I have to do".

Kakashi wasn't as uptight or cold as any of the Uchiha's that had trained Sasuke in the past. He was shocked into gaping like a fish, when Kakashi had reached into his pocket to fish up a, if Sasuke was to judge, rather racy book. His trainer had then proceeded to sit on the bench and read, "I don't see you doing any push ups right now, Sasuke," he had said in a sing-song like manner. Sasuke had gone to his blonde best friend for therapy that evening.

As much as Kakashi was responsible for Sasuke's physical health, he also focussed on his mental health. He was directly ordered to go to Ichiraku's with Naruto at least four times a month. He often complimented Sasuke on his improvements but most of all, he never compared him to Itachi. Sasuke often caught himself holding on to the thought that Kakashi actually cared for him, but always repressed the thought as fast as it came. He never dared hope.

He'd heard from somewhere that Sakura had begun dating that loud Inuzuka kid for some time now, and while he showed no reaction on the outside, something cold settled deep in his stomach that just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he worked as a distraction. How he hated that annoying girl. He felt angry, betrayed and cheated but above all he felt regret. Without his consent his thoughts often drifted to the pink haired girl. He would remember the way her smile would brighten whenever she saw him, how she would laugh when he finally managed to crack a small joke, or how she would blush whenever she caught him looking at her. He knew then that he had to get away. Away from her, his brother, his father. He needed to get away from everything.

As Sasuke was done packing the last bag, he turned around to see Itachi standing in the doorway of his room, observing him. "What?" Sasuke challenged while narrowing his eyes at his once idol. Itachi showed no reaction to his little brother's anger, "Mother was right. You are leaving." It wasn't a question, just a statement that Sasuke knew, Itachi had said to question his decisions. Gritting his teeth Sasuke brushed past Itachi, heading for the door, "So what? It's not like any of you will care. You all only think about yourself and your status in this god damn family!" Itachi's brows furrowed but before he could reply, Sasuke cut him off, "Just wait and see. When I come back, I will have surpassed you. I will be better than any of you could ever dream of, and father will have no choice but to acknowledge me!" The rage and hurt was evident in his eyes, and Itachi felt suffocated by the words his little brother was yelling.

"You're a fool, little brother," Itachi had sighed while shaking his head and proceeded to poke Sasuke on the forehead. Once when he was smaller, Sasuke may have found it as a sign of acknowledgement and love from his older brother, but know it felt degrading. It felt as if he was nothing more than a shadow, always meant to be left behind in the dark. Always second best. Always alone.

He sneered at his brother and slapped the hand away, "Don't act like you know everything about me. Don't act like you actually care!" he had barked and proceeded to walk out the door, bag in hand. Itachi could only watch with worry and sadness, as his dear little brother got into the car that would take him to Oto.

Sasuke was 18 and breaking bonds one by one.

A/N: I think I'm experiencing what would be labelled as a "writers-block"... or what ... Oh well... short update

I don't know why, but it feels like I've strayed kind of far from the original way I used to write - as in The Story of My Life... Maybe I'll rewrite this fanfic, maybe I'll just complete it with the way I've written it up until now. idk yet... Sometimes I have a hard time believing I actually wrote the other story, as I am far more happy about it than this