AN: Inspiration struck and I was forced to write this, and I was satisfied that it fit the situation. Now, into the depths of the mind of Alice. An Alice in a tremendous amount of emotional pain… I will warn you now, this chapter is fairly dark, I hate doing this to Alice, but it's what needed to be written, and therefore, it is what will be read, should you choose to read it. R and R.

Ch1: Isolation

Alice POV

I stood on the doorstep of our extended family in Denali, knowing my sister was on the other side of that door, waiting for me to knock. I had to stifle a dry sob at the thought of Bella's pain, of her Anger. I would take it, I would take it all, because I knew that was what she needed, she needed a sister more than anything right now. Someone to listen, someone to yell at, and that would be me. I raised my hand to knock on the door, I paused just before I touched the wood letting the past year flit through my mind.

I had seen Bella jump from a cliff, she had surfaced briefly with a euphoric look on her face, only to be pummeled under by wave after wave. And then Victoria came and pulled her out, and drained her, and then there was nothing. I had been on an extended hunting trip with Jasper then, It was hard for him to be around me in my state, let alone the rest of the family. We had unwittingly left the glue that held the family together behind, as a human… I had thrown the worst tantrum I have ever had to date and Edward stood there taking it… already looking like a zombie. I threw trees, I threw boulders, I hit him, I tore his arm off and flung it into the distance. And he just stood there.

I showed him the pain that Bella would be in, I showed him what the family would be like, what the outcome of this endeavor was. I showed him, and yet he still could not see, he did not understand; and I realized that I couldn't make him. He had said that Bella was human, she would move on, she could live a happy human life… but she wouldn't. All it would do is cause unnecessary pain, he wouldn't be able to stay away forever. Perhaps being away from her was what he needed, for him to understand just how much he needed her. How much we all needed her.

The entire family watched the exchange. Each saw the logic in his assumptions, even I did. I deflated and let out the first of many anguished sobs. Edward retrieved his arm and Jasper came to my side. He knew I had gotten out what I needed to, and Edward hadn't fought me, so Jasper hadn't gone into over protective mode. But I was in much more pain than any physical wound could ever create. And Jasper did not retaliate for that wound inflicted upon me, because he blamed himself, and Edward didn't blame him which made him feel worse. Jasper just held me as the rest of the family packed up.

We left Edward that night, it would take a few days for him to work up the courage to leave her… When I saw what he told her… my venom boiled. It was almost as bad as the change from human to Vampire. It scared Jasper to bitts. My rage was inconsolable. When Edward came to join us I refused to talk to him. I ignored his existence. We were all in pain at seeing him so in pain, in even more pain than I was. It got to be to the point where Jasper had to take of for a few days on his own, leaving me in my despair. When he returned home he realized what he had done and promised me that he wouldn't leave me like that again… Ha!

Edward eventually left, for a few days and would come back, then he'd leave again. The time he was gone grew each time he left and the time he stayed diminished each time he returned. Then he didn't come back at all, just giving a ring now and then to let us know that he was alive… well, that he was existing. Sometimes when I would check up on him, I couldn't actually see anything, and confused it with a blank future. After the first few false alarms, I gave up on trying to decipher where he was and what he was doing. He wasn't doing anything he was just… wasting away in some dark pest infested hole.

After our fight in Forks, he had told me… asked me forcefully, to not look into Bella's future, to not interfere… but I was so attuned to her that sometimes I got glimpses. I forced myself out of them, which always left me dizzy, but what I saw… I hated Edward, I hated myself. She was in so much pain.

Sometimes, Edwards mind would waver, and he would get up to leave for forks and I would get a glimpse of the reunion. That future never lasted for more than a few seconds at most, but what I saw sickened me to my very core. Sometimes Edward would see her at school, he would see her zombie like state and he would beg… I never saw beyond the begging. Sometimes it would be to him crawling into her window at night to watch her sleep only to hear her scream in agony. God, those screams were blood curdling… and I didn't have blood. Charlie wasn't doing well either. The random visions were lessening in frequency. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Things were getting worse at home. Emmett hardly laughed anymore, it was straining the relationship between Rosalie and him. Esme was so distraught at the loss of her son and her newest daughter she hardly talked to anyone. Even Carlisle was having difficulties holding it together, especially because of Esme's condition. And Jasper and I had to leave every now and then, He didn't leave me ever, even with the discomfort, but we still loved each other, and we could still make each other forget our transgressions.

It was on such an extended trip I had the vision that ruined what little we had left. We weren't that far from the house when it hit me like a punch to the gut.

Bella jumped off a cliff into choppy water. She surfaced once and let out a strangled laugh, her face euphoric. Then she turned and saw a large wave and her eye's widened in fear. The water threw her under, I waited, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited… and Bella was being extracted from the water by Victoria unto a nearby rock. The damage done, every injury inflicted added to the sick feeling in my stomach, at least that's what I think it was, I couldn't be entirely sure. Victoria held what was left of Bella under water then dragged her out screeching at the limp body she held as waves crashed around them… and then it was gone.

I tried to grab back at the vision, I tried, but there was nothing but darkness. I opened my eyes to see Jaspers expression worried beyond reason feeling my confusion, my pain. I tried to look for Bella one last time before the truth set in. My mouth set into a feral snarl as I screamed, falling to the ground and retching over the ground in front of me. I had choked up human food before, but I had never had blood go the wrong way. I didn't even know it was possible. I looked up to Jasper in horror as I heard everyone at the house rushing to see if we were ok.

I looked back down to the blood and venom covered ground in front of me… and I felt like I was somehow dying. Jasper fell to his knees beside me and I tried to throw him an apologetic look, but he was in as much pain as I was, plus the pain of those approaching us… and it was about to get worse. Unless I didn't tell them.

"I'll be back, I promise." I looked at Jasper and he was pained beyond belief.

"Alice… is…?" I choked back a sob.

"I'm going to go check on Charlie." His guilt was overpowering and he couldn't bring it in.

"How?"

"Victoria…"

"What…?" Carlisle knew it was one of two things that would leave me like this.

"Bella…" I had to go, I had to get away, I had to see if she was ok, to find the body if I could. I had to… she was my sister.

"I have to go." I took off running. I grabbed Carlisle's key's, he'd understand. I was in the Car and out of the driveway before anyone had made it back to the house. I left with one sound repeating in my mind… Jasper yelling for me to come back. Desperate for me to stay. But I couldn't.

When I pulled into Charlie's driveway I was greeted with a smell that could only be what Carlisle had once described as the wolves. I didn't care. I didn't care that my timing would seem far too coincidental. I didn't give a shit about anything or anyone except for Jasper and I had left him hurting. I was a monster… nothing new there.

I knocked politely and was immediately faced with a wolf in human form, he was quite a bit taller than me.

"Where's Charlie?"

"He's sleeping leech, what do you want?"

"Is Bella…?"

"Dead? Yeah, somewhere on the bottom of the ocean floor." And I crumpled at his feet. He snorted, I didn't care. My head bowed in silent dry sobs. "What do you care? You're the ones who left her." My sobs became not so silent.

"Does Charlie… need… any h… help?"

"We've got it covered blood sucker." He said it with such disgust. I looked up to him, I looked him in the eye. The pain he saw left him shocked and his jaw slackened. I saw his own pain there… so yet another man had come to be an admirer of Bella, only this one was in deeper… he loved her. He was covering his pain with anger, but when he saw my pain, I saw his.

"What happened?"

"She was being an idiot and tried cliff diving on her own. We were chasing the red headed leech, but she jumped into the water. Came around, sucked her dry. We were too late, I was too late. But we killed the leech, at least there's that." And I was jealous of the wolf because he had tears to shed.

"Have they found her?"

"No, the water was so rough… if they can't find her soon, they're going to call it quits." I knew it was against the treaty but…

"May I have permission to search for her? Please." My eye's begged of him.

"Sam?" Yet another wolf appeared. He looked down at me with a sneer. And then he saw my defenseless submissive stance. I was begging. His hatred, and it was hatred, turned to a disgusted pity.

"Do you think you can find her?" I nodded. The elder wolf looked to the younger one, "I'm going back over to Sue's to help her with Harry's funeral arrangements, let me know when Charlie wakes up. The younger wolf nodded. The elder looked at me.

"Follow me in your car." I got in and followed him to the beach. Two funeral for Charlie… That gut wrenching feeling was back. Two more wolves where there at the beach waiting for me.

"They will stand guard should you find anything." I knew that wasn't the reason, but I had no reason to object. I took off my shoes and my cloths, leaving my underwear on. Then dived in. It was an odd feeling, searching through the murky water on the bottom. I could hear, I didn't dare take in water, I had no idea what that would do to my system, but I was left without a sense of smell. So I opened my mouth to take in the taste… nothing, only the smell of fish blood. It was gross. I searched every square inch in as many directions as I could. I found nothing…nothing but sand and bottom feeders. I would have continued, but I couldn't.

Rosalie picked up the phone, her words were blurry until one sentence came. The sentence she knew that she would say.

"Alice is in Forks… Edward, she saw Victoria kill Bella."

And then I saw three men, the vampire's in Carlisle's painting of the Volturi, I saw my brother at their feet. And they killed him.

I was up and out of the water within seconds, I hadn't realized how far out I had gone, how much area I had covered, and still I saw no Bella, tasted no Bella. I rushed forward throwing my cloths back on. The two wolves were looking at me incredulously.

"I'm sorry, I have to go, I couldn't find her and I covered a good four mile radius… I…" My eye's stung with tears that could never be shed. "I have to go. Take care of Charlie." And I was gone. Edward had already called Charlie's house. I couldn't see it, hell I couldn't see anything over here. Maybe I couldn't see the wolves. That would explain why I had seen less of Bella and why I hadn't see the end… why my vision of Bella's end had been cut short. I really didn't care at the moment.

Edward knew that the Volturi wouldn't likely kill someone with his talents, he was coming up with plan after plan to provoke them, with each new plan I saw my brother die again. Over and over and over and over and over and over, I saw him die. I let out a sob as I called Rosalie.

"Alice." Rose's voice was filled with trepidation as it should be.

"He's going to Italy Rose, good going." I hung up and called Carlisle.

"Carlisle, Edward is going to Italy to provoke the Volturi, I have a shot at cutting him off if I leave from Seattle now. If you can take the next flight out at 3:30, we have a shot at stopping him all together. I'll make all the necessary calls, all you have to do is show up" Carlisle was silent.

"Ok. Well see you in Italy." I cut the call off and called the airports making arrangements and everything. It seemed rather shallow at the moment, but I couldn't believe I was going anywhere looking like the wet rat I looked like right now. And it seemed rather odd that I didn't actually care. I didn't care about a lot of things lately. Lastly I called Jasper.

"Sweatheart…" Jasper's voice was strangled.

"I'm sorry Jazz, I'm so sorry." It was odd between him and I, that a look in the eye could be just as comforting as a sensual caress, how just listening to each other breathe was just as comforting if not more so than actual words of comfort. Given Jaspers ability, it is far more effective when we are near each other, but even still, over the phone, focusing on his calm breaths calmed me, let me focus on the situation at hand.

"I love you Jasper. I'm at the airport, I'll see you soon."

"I love you my Alice. I'll be there before you know it." I smiled at him as I closed my phone sticking it in my pocket. I had a chance. Edward was fast, but if I could catch him in the terminal, with humans around. He wouldn't have a choice. I could delay him for the fifteen minutes difference in arrival time…

And I did, he looked like shit. It was no wonder really. I cut him off, I slowed him down, he was still set, and I was still seeing my brothers head ripped off and burned away. And I pleaded with him, that I couldn't deal with loosing them both, but he couldn't… he wouldn't live in a world without Bella. But my pleading and my showing him his eventual relief and my continuous pain delayed him long enough. By the time that he heard them, it was too late. Jasper and Emmett and Carlisle restrained him and took him outside where he could growl and wriggle as much as he wanted. I rented us a charter plane to go back home.

Edward was anything but cooperative. We eventually hauled him home, he was forever in a state of despair. He was never left alone, for we all knew what he would do. It was selfish on our parts to keep him alive while he suffered so, but it was selfish of him to do that to the family, to kill himself. He knew, and he didn't care, no one cared about anything anymore. We were going mad, how had a human done this to us? Reduced seven vampires to crumbling asphalt.

Between everyone's despair and guilt Jasper and I still left a lot. Sometimes he would go off on his own, sometimes I would go off on my own. We weren't a family anymore, our spouses were hardly anything more than a distraction, something to take the pain away temporarily. But the pain was always there I didn't bother shopping, I didn't really need to shop, I hated moping, but it's all I ever felt like doing. We were existing. Carlisle hadn't been able to focus on work, he had almost lost a patient… that's when he knew he needed to step back for a bit. We were wallowing in wealth, yet we all felt dead. We felt as if we should take the place six-feet-under were we belong and join Bella…

So Jasper and I left… we didn't say it was for good, but I think Esme knew. But still, Jasper was so awash in guilt and I in sorrow, it did nothing. Sometimes we would just lay in our apartment bed for days on end just holding each other, not moving not doing anything. Just lying there… dying. At one point we laid for three weeks without moving. It was assumed that we had left I guess because the book keeper opened the door and when he found us still in there, looking dead, he gnawed on his very chapped lips. And we both lost it. Jasper snapped his neck and we shared the human. It was delicious. My first human… and I. Did. Not. Care.

I saw my husband with red eyes, and I saw in his eye's my reflection… I too had red eyes. And I was disgusted with myself.

"Alice."

I was done with silent weeping. My sobs were loud and full of every ounce of pain I had. Jasper joined me. The only way to go was up, but there was no ladder, only another cliff to fall off of. And fall off it we did. The human blood, it made us feel more alive than animal blood did. It was like a temporary fix for the pain… though it was still there, just dulled. And so the numbers climbed, it was the filthy scum of the human world, it was what Edward had done during his rebellion, what Jasper had been doing towards the end, before finding me

I avoided looking in the mirror, and I avoided looking Jasper in the eye. The pain was dulled by the human blood but Jasper and I couldn't hardly stand to look at each other. And one day, I just looked, I looked my husband in the eye and I know he was feeling as I was. And so we feasted on Bear that night, and for the first time in a long, long time, sex with Jasper felt like making love again.

We began trailing… unconsciously finding our way back to Carlisle… still with red eye's. We were shamed, but we wanted our family. But when we got there… there was no family to be found. For the first time in a long while I used my vision… only to find I was met with nothing. I tried again and I began to panic. I checked Denali, and I couldn't find them… It's not that they weren't there, it's that I couldn't see them, but I still knew that they were there somehow. But I felt nothing when looking for our family. I could not call, because I refused to face the possibility. But I could call the Denali's. It rang once, twice…

"Hello?" My breath hitched as the impossible sound reached my ears… I had heard it only once before… I love you Edward… Her voice was gorgeous… and it was the voice that was talking to me now.

"Bella?"

AN: Hehe… am I evil or what? R and R…