Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 and it characters are owned by persons other than myself. This fiction is posted strictly for entertainment purposes and no profit is intended.

Chapter 3

Jack was tired. His head hurt and a lump was forming over his right eye causing it to swell shut. To add to that, he had to watch Daniel drive his new truck over fresh ice and snow that had covered the roads while they were in the game, something the younger man was inexperienced and uncomfortable doing. Several times the truck slid from side to side over the icy pavement, making Jack nauseous and sending the archaeologist off into a string of apologies, which were becoming more and more annoying as he drove slower and slower down the highway.

"At this rate, we should home around the 32nd of Neverary, Daniel. Can't you pick it up a little?" Jack asked.

"Uh, sure." He answered hesitantly, applying pressure to the accelerator, wincing and apologizing again for allowing the truck to fishtail. "Gosh, I'm sorry guys, I'm not really very good at driving on these kind of roads"

"Why don't you drive, T?" Jack asked.

"Can't" Teal'c was still wearing that ridiculous hat, flopping back and forth as he shook his head.

"Why not?" Jack couldn't resist the urge to grab the hat off of Teal'c's bald head and toss it to his feet.

"Hey!" Teal'c complained, but continued his narrative anyway. "Don't you remember? Hammond took away my driving privileges." Teal'c shook his head sadly. "Man, start one little ten car pile-up and people hold a grudge forever. I figured you of all people would remember that one since I was driving your old truck at the time." On second thought, maybe Daniel was the best choice to drive.

Jack watched his Jaffa friend warily, he had never heard him talk as much as he had in the last thirty minutes than he had the entire time he had known him and it was deeply disturbing him. He always known him to be responsible, reliable and unshakably brave and stoic, this Teal'c was nothing like his friend and he wasn't entirely sure he liked it.

"So," Jack began, changing the subject.. "I supposedly have kids with Carter?" He still was having a hard time believing that one and it hurt too much to try and wrap his brain around it.

"Yeah, four boys." Daniel answered. "four very 'spitited' boys." He added warily.

"Four?" He felt dizzy again.

"Yeah, O'Neill, you must be a real stallion in the sack." Teal'c added. Jack shot the Large man a look that would have stopped most men from continuing, but Teal'c paid him no mind. "I don't know how it's possible, but I think Sam's actually been pregnant the whole time you two have been married. You've got the five year old twins Jake and Ryan, then there's your three year old, Tommy and finally one year old Brian, not to mention the one on the way. You guys are fertile like bunny rabbits!"

"One on the way? But that's five!"

"Nice job with the mental math, O'Neill." Teal'c quipped. "Just be glad it's not twins again."

"If you don't remember being married to Sam or even your own kids, maybe we should take you back to the infirmary and have Dr, Fraiser check you out." Daniel suggested. Jack groaned, ready to fight him on this one. He just wanted to go home.

"No way, I'm not letting that crazy woman get anywhere near my head with that pen-light of hers. I've had concussions before, I'll survive." Daniel shot him a worried look, but turned back to the road.

"Okay, you're in charge." Jack stared at his friend, once again a non-argumentative and agreeable Daniel was a disturbing thing. He looked like his friend, but he so wasn't. He had never heard him utter such words without sarcasm before and he had to admit, it was something he had always wanted, but now that it was a reality, it was a little surreal.

Jack laid back in the seat, closing his eyes. It was going to be a long drive back. This was all just too much for him to take in all at once.

He wasn't even aware that he had fallen asleep until he felt something against his upper lip and heard snickering.

"What the...?" He asked, smacking at whatever was on his face. He looked back to see Teal'c attempting to suppress a laugh and holding something behind his back.

"What did you do?" He asked him.

"Nothing." Teal'c tried to say with snorting before breaking out in a all out burst of laughter. Jack turned to Daniel who was still white-knuckling the steering wheel.

"What did he do?" Daniel turned to him and smiled.

"You should look in the mirror." He pointed to his upper lip. Jack pulled down the visor and flipped open the mirror.

"Teal'c!"

"What? I'm just having a little fun, lighten up!"

"You gave me a Hitler moustache."

"Actually I was going to go with the Snidely Whiplash, but you woke up before I could finish." Jack licked his fingers and tried to wipe it off, but it wasn't even fading.

"Was that permanent marker?" Teal'c looked down at the marker.

"Whoops."

"Daniel, why didn't you stop him?"

"I'm sorry Jack, but he told me not to wake you and I wasn't going to be able to stop him, he is very strong after all."

"I can't believe you two! Teal'c, you never joke about anything and you Daniel, since when did you ever do anything anyone told you to do? It's like I woke up in the Twilight Zone, for crying out loud!"

"Sorry, Jack." Daniel offered with a guilty face.

"Will you, stop that already? I getting a little tired of all of the apologizing."

"Alright." He told him as Jack sighed, things were going from bad to worse in short order. What was going on? Was this some sort of alternate reality or maybe a messed up timeline. He decided he would have to ask Carter if he could have accidentally ended up in one of those Quantum Leap mirror doodads that Daniel had found.

After a half hour of scrubbing with his own spit, Jack had managed to make the moustache fade a bit, but it was going to require some serious soap in order for him to go out in public again. Before he knew it Daniel was pulling the truck into a driveway and parking. Jack looked out the window.

"We're here." Daniel announced.

"This isn't my house." Jack told him.

"Yeah, I guess it's actually Sam's. She decided that her house would be better suited for a family when you two were married."

"So, what happened to my house?"

"You sold it."

"Sold it?" Jack thought of his house, out of all of the houses and apartments he had ever lived in ,this one had been his favorite. It was perfect for him. Outside of the city, surrounded by woods with a great back porch for his grill; A real manly man's place.

He looked at the house in front of him. It was okay, but this was the suburbs, for goodness sake. He groaned on the inside, he had hoped to never live in the suburbs again. But then again, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. He was supposedly married to Carter, he had been secretly pining after her for years now, so how bad could it be?

He stepped out of the truck and headed for the door before turning around, noticing Teal'c and Daniel heading for Daniel's car that was parked on the street.

"You guys coming in?" He asked them, not really sure if he should head inside alone.

"Nah Jack. That's okay, I should get Teal'c back to base." Daniel said hurriedly pointing with his thumb to the car.

"Yeah, he's just afraid of your wife." Teal'c joked, mussing up the archaeologist's hair. Daniel gave Jack an apologetic smile and shrugged his shoulders.

"Are you trying to tell me that you're afraid of Carter? You guys are best friends."

"Well, we were a long time ago, but it's just that she's just a little... ya know...." He made a rolling motion with his hands before shoving them under his arms. "Possessive of you lately."

"What the are you talking about?" Jack asked.

"What he's trying to say, is that she's pissed as hell that you took off tonight with us" Teal'c ribbed him. "She hates it when we go places with you and she gets left behind. So, good luck to you man, you're going to need it." With that, his two best friends got into the car and drove off, leaving Jack standing alone outside. Some friends, he thought. The old Daniel and Teal'c wouldn't have left him high and dry like this.

He turned to the house and walked up the steps as if in a dream. This night couldn't get any weirder he thought, but then again, approaching the door, he could hear the muffled shrieks children, Carter's voice yelling and the sound of what could have been glass breaking.

Jack had been in war zones before, had trained in some of the harshest of conditions, survived torture and had been shot on numerous occasions, but he couldn't recall ever being as scared as he was right then. Just as he was about to turn the doorknob, the door flew open and Jack's jaw dropped.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Announced a very, very pregnant Sam Carter or was it Sam O'Neill?

Hey guys thanks for all of the reviews. I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter. My husband is out of town this week, so I'm going to be pretty bored, so I might be able to push out updates pretty frequently, we'll see. :)