hey everyone! thanx for all who reviewed and all who read! ^_^ well im sorry i wasnt able to update for a little bit cuz my weekend was completely booked. my sis got married and she's became crazy bridezilla bitch lol i kinda cant blame her. but she is driving me CRAZY! and then this week are finals GRRRR! i hate finals lol at least we get out early

and then the end of school!!!!!! HOORAY!

back to the story!

Alice POV

Esme and Carlisle looked at each other then slowly turned back to me.

"Well, your story isn't the happiest. I don't think I can explain it in a way that would make you understand the full length of it. What about you, Carlisle?" asked Esme.

He just shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't tell it either. There are some parts of your story that even I don't know about. The only person who knows the full extent of it is Jasper."

I pulled my eyebrows together. "Is he the one who ran out?" I was pretty confident that it was, but still, I could be wrong. I don't see how though.

Esme nodded. "Yes."

Something about that single word answer bothered me. Why did he run out in the first place? He must have been the one who was sobbing while I was semi-unconscious. I couldn't help but wonder; what is he to me?

"Esme, what is Jasper to me? How does he fit into my life?" I asked, curiosity evident in my voice. It was more than curiosity though. It was more like a necessity.

Both Esme and Carlisle smiled slightly, but it was tinted with sadness, as if they didn't want to tell me. Or they couldn't tell me. I wasn't sure which.

"I think it isn't our place to tell you who he is. You should ask him yourself." stated Carlisle.

As if right on cue, Jasper walked up the porch and leaned in the doorway. His eyes were only for me as they bore into mine, looking deep within my soul. He looked like he calmed down a little bit. Only slightly though. There was still a little wildness in his eyes.

"Would you like to take a walk with me? I can explain so much." His voice was kind as he held out his hand for me.

I nodded. "Sure." I needed to fill the gigantic gaping holes within my life. Scratch that. It was just one massive black hole in my life that consumed everything.

I reached out and grabbed his hand and he pulled me up from the floor. I was shocked how graceful I was. In reality, I should have stumbled forward a little but that never happened. I smiled to myself as Jasper led me down the porch and driveway. We were still hand in hand as we walked. He was taking me somewhere, I just didn't know what or where it was.

We walked in a slightly uncomfortable silence. I really didn't want to start the conversation, but I was soon swallowed by my own thoughts. I darted my eyes around, never letting go of Jasper's hand, begging for something to look familiar. He led me into the nearby forest inhabited by thousands upon thousands of trees. I looked at each tree individually, racking my brain for anything to come up. But it was like my mind was full of noisy crickets chirping loudly.

This was getting so frustrating. I wanted so badly to remember my past life, but its all a blank. It's like taking a test that you never studied for or learned about. Jasper tightened his hand around mine in a comforting way. I met his eyes in a stare. He gave me a slight smile but still never uttered a single word.

After what seemed like an hour or so, Jasper suddenly stopped at the base of a small river. He sat down on one of the rocks and patted the space beside him. I took his offer graciously and sat down gracefully. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't want to meet his gaze. If this was going to be anything like Esme's and Carlisle's conversation, I will just be disappointing him. I hate seeing expressions fall.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, taking a small pebble and throwing it into the river with a plop.

I could feel his confusion radiating off of him. "Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for, Alice." His voice was kind and gentle.

I sighed. "But I do have something to be sorry for. In fact, I have to apologize for everything! Since I woke up, or whatever I did, I crush people by saying that I can't remember a thing. And I try so hard to, my head is even throbbing from all the strain I've put it through, and still, nothing comes up. Not even a slight glimmer of my old life." I was fighting the rising sob creeping up my throat.

Jasper seemed to tell that I was fighting hard not to break down. He hesitantly and cautiously wrapped his right arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him. I buried my face in his shirt, still not wanting to meet his eyes. I couldn't stand to see whatever expression he conjured up.

"Listen to me, Alice and listen good. You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault and I will make the person who did this to you pay dearly, but right now, I'm worried about you." His wound his other arm around me and I felt completely safe and at ease in his arms. It was like his arms were my home. I could sit all day like this and be completely content and satisfied. My mind may not know Jasper, but my body definitely did.

I sighed. I still blame myself. Sure, I wasn't the one who made me completely forget everything, but I was the main cause of the evident pain in his voice. Jasper continued.

"Do you want to hear your story?"

I looked up from his shirt, meeting his eyes for the first time since we sat down. "More than anything."

I leaned my head on his shoulder as he pulled me into his lap. "Unfortunately I don't know much about your human life. You were changed into a vampire in an insane asylum and since then, even you couldn't remember your human past. You looked at the tag on the white straight jacket they had you in and it said Mary Alice Brandon. You figured that was your name but you didn't like the sound of Mary."

I crinkled my nose. It was true. I don't like the name Mary. It doesn't suit me.

"So you went by Alice."

I smiled. I knew that name sounded like mine when I first heard it.

"You had to hunt right away. Your eyes were bottomless coal black. Your overwhelming thirst consumed you and you killed the doctor who came to check in on you in the asylum. He was your first and only human life you've taken." He sounded proud and envious.

I gasped. I had killed someone? That doesn't sound like something I would do. I couldn't do it.

"After you drank, you ran. You ran far away from that little town. You were so horrified with yourself for taking an innocent life that you succumbed yourself to never drinking blood again. The days went by and you found the thirst unbearable and went looking for an unlucky hiker in the woods. But right at that moment, you had a vision."

He paused. A vision? What did that mean?

"A vision?" I asked, unable to stop myself from interrupting.

He smiled down at me. "Yes, a vision. You have an unusual and special ability that no other vampire as far as we know has. You are able to see the future in these so called visions. They are very brief and the visions can change easily."

"I'm psychic?" I couldn't help the shock coloring my voice.

Jasper nodded. "Yes."

"Do I have these visions a lot?" I asked.

"Not really. You can't call the visions on your own free will, they just come to you. The consistency varies." he explained. "Anyway back to the story, you had a vision of Carlisle and his family. His family consisted of his wife Esme and posing as their children were Bella, Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie. In the vision you noticed that they didn't have the same lifestyle as you. They didn't hunt humans and their eyes weren't a crimson red. They were a bright gold because they drank the blood of animals. Since then, you have drank nothing but animal blood and you no longer felt like a.." he hesitated. "monster." There was something in Jasper's voice that told me he wasn't happy with using the word "monster".

Okay, so I know a little bit about my vampire life and nothing about my human life. With all this new information, still nothing jogged my memory. I internally groaned in frustration.

As if reading my mind, Jasper spoke. "Still nothing yet?"

I shook my head. "No. But can I ask you something before you move on?"

He nodded. "Of course, Alice."

I hesitated, trying to word things the right way. "What am I to you? I know that I'm a daughter to Carlisle and Esme, but what about you?"

Jasper looked away, thinking. I could literally see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to conjure up an answer.

"Well.." he hesitated again. "You were everything to me." His voice was powered by so much passion that I had to catch my breath.

He left it like that as he unwound his arms from my waist and stood, clearly not wanting to talk more about what he meant by "everything". Though I had a pretty good idea. I must have been his soul mate. His love. His, like he said, everything. And something told me that he was the same to me. But I'm not the same Alice he knew, I'm completely different. I think. I hope he could accept a new Alice.

ehhh im not sure about the way i ended this

i promise that the next update will be up sooner and it will be in jasper's pov. at least im gonna try lol

please review ^_^