Prompt #38
Thoughts about my father:
I named my father many names, besides father: paragon, teacher, champion, captain, scorned wolf and hero.
He was my paragon and champion when I was young. He taught me all he knew; basic life skill primarily, but he also taught me in the Southern Water Tribe military doctrine. He was my teacher; l learnt how to hunt, how to make a tent or an igloo, and how to do advanced water bending moves.
I followed him in everything he did, he was my example, my paragon. Whenever he was angry, I was angry, whenever he would be happy, I'd be happy. I didn't develop my own sense of good and evil, I copied it by watching my father react to certain things. I sometimes wonder why I turned out to be such a different person, compared to my father.
My father remained the biggest influence in my early life, until I became an adult.
When I turned twelve, my father started talking to me about marriage. He had struck a deal with the chief of the Southern Water Tribe, who was my father's friend, even though he was but a captain. I now know why my father was the chief's friend, but I didn't know it back then, I just took it for granted.
My father had struck a deal with the chief, I would be to marry his youngest son. The prince wasn't ready, however, so the chief and my father put it to rest, for a while.
By that time, I was my father.
When I turned thirteen, my life changed, because the relationship I had with my father changed. War had been declared on the Earth Kingdom, and he would be leading the first charge. I remember how afflicted I had been when he left on his own ship.
My father was a captain in the Southern Fleet, but because of his friendship with the chief, he had been given the honor to be the first to land on the Earth Kingdom shores. He had told me briefly, before he went on board. His mission was to take a little village called Hia-Pao, I didn't understand the village's significance until much later.
From that point, I called my father captain. He was far away and I missed him, so I didn't want to use those nostalgic names anymore, because that only made me feel worse when I talked about him. I called him warrior too, sometimes, but captain seemed more appropriate to me.
By leaving, my father taught me a valuable lesson. He taught me that life wasn't always a joyful experience; he taught me that life could be full of pain. I realized that my father had experienced painful moments to, it had become evident when I asked him about my mother.
My father leaving turned out to be the best thing to ever have happened to me. It turned my life around, because I started to learn on my own.
I did long for things to return to normal again, even though I was learning a lot on my own. Because I missed him so much, I eventually followed him to the Earth Kingdom, escorted by the chief's son, who needed to deliver a message to his father, who was commanding the armies in the southern Earth Kingdom.
When I left the South Pole, I was like I had been before my father left, I only had become more knowledgeable.
Now, I'm different, because I changed over the course of the journey that followed, after I left the South Pole.
When I left, I was like my father. I was lacking in empathy, I was selfish, I was a sexual predator.
If I look at myself now, I don't resemble my father anymore. I've learnt to empathize with others, I've learnt to put the needs of others before my own and, I've learnt to deal with my desires. I don't think I've lost my ways entirely, I'm still a lustful woman, but over the course of my journey, I found out that there were more important things in life, like affection.
The reason for writing this down is not that I hate my father, I am thankful for everything he taught me. I am thankful for everything he did to me. He hasn't been the best of fathers, but he tried.
I write this just to point out that I am not my father.