A/N: This story makes me so happy! Even though it's so full of sadness, I can't help but love how my characters are asserting themselves and making their own way despite my less-than-perfect guidance. Sorry, I had a little bit of a mommy moment there. Please enjoy and review!
Chapter Three: Small Comforts
Kyo awoke to bright-ish light filtering through the light blue curtains over his windows. His body ached all over, but he was still too close to sleep and too dragged down by painkillers to care. He allowed his eyes to drift until they were nearly closed, staring at the patterns of light on the ceiling through his eyelashes. He was so happy to be warm, so happy to feel the soft sheets whisper over his skin instead of the rough canvas of the mattress cover. He shivered, frowning at the memory of his weeks of terror. Had it really only been four weeks? It felt like so much longer.
Someone entered, startling him so badly that he nearly tore his stitches scrambling into a sitting position. Fire sliced up the left side of his back, but he ignored it, bleary eyes only taking in the dark, short hair of the woman carrying the tray towards him. Akito. Whimpering, he tried to scramble to the other side of the bed, instincts screaming for him to get away as quickly as possible. He heard a loud beeping as he tore out his IV and ripped off the monitoring devices they had stuck all over him.
"Mr. Sohma! Please calm down! What's wrong with you?" The voice wasn't Akito's, but it was still unfamiliar, so he kept running, or at least trying. He put his feet to the floor, realizing as he trusted his weight to them that he was far too weak to go anywhere. The person had set down the tray, pressed a button near the bed, and was now heading towards him. As she grew closer, Kyo threw up his painfully thin arms to ward her off. To his terror, the drugs they had given him were even now dragging him towards unconsciousness. She was getting closer.
"Kyo? Kyo!" Someone called from the doorway. Both the woman and the patient froze, Kyo's eyes losing some of their animalistic panic as he recognized Tohru's voice.
"Tohru? I'm… I'm over here." He panted, still keeping a wary eye on the woman. Tohru came around the corner of the bed, stopping dead in her tracks and putting one hand over her mouth as she saw the blood that was seeping from Kyo's hand where the IV had been and out from under the bandage wrapped around his lower torso. She quickly took in the situation, realizing what had happened and beckoning for the woman to leave. Kyo realized now that she was a nurse, bringing in his breakfast. He was still wary though, his heart beating too fast for him to even think about apologizing. As soon as Tohru's hand touched his, he gripped it as tightly as he could, which luckily wasn't much; he needed the lifeline to sanity.
Tohru knelt beside him, paling visibly at the blood that was now coating her fingers, but staying strong for him. Gently, she reached a hand to stroke his hair, feeling a pang as he flinched away from the advancing hand. He calmed though, allowing her to comfort him and then help him back into bed, refusing through it all to let go of her hand. The doctor knocked, but as soon as he peeked in, Tohru beckoned him away. He held up ten fingers, signaling that he'd be back in ten minutes. She nodded, and he left. Turning back, she saw that Kyo was focusing on his breath, taking as deep of breaths as his torn stitches would let him. Squeezing his hand to get his attention, she looked into the dark-rimmed scarlet orbs, struggling to focus through the film that had formed over her vision.
"What happened?" she whispered, lifting the hair from him forehead and noticing that his temperature had risen in the past few minutes. He leaned into her touch, allowing his eyes to drift shut.
"I guess… I don't know. Akito…" His words caught in his throat with fear and he coughed violently, wracking his entire body. Tears sprang to both of their eyes at the pain that wrenched through him. Finally, the attack subsided, leaving him pale and drained. But he continued, steeling himself.
"Akito often came in first thing in the morning, bringing breakfast, which would be laced with the day's poison." Tohru gasped, eyes widening and hand flying to cover her mouth. Kyo barely noticed, focusing on staying separate from the memory, his eyes glued to the fluttering curtains.
"I was starving, so I had to eat it, and afterward, something bad would happen. One time, I got this urge to move, really bad. I had to move, even though I was exhausted. Another time, I was made super sensitive to pain. Come to think of it, those were her favorites; the ones that heightened my senses, that is. She'd make me sensitive to sound, then she'd play really loud or really high pitched things near me." Tohru was sobbing, and it was the splash of salt tears into his new hand wound that awoke him from his trance of memory. He took in her shaking body, noticing that her hands were covering her eyes, and her sobs were the violent, shaking ones she got when she was in pain. He immediately panicked.
"What's wrong? What hurts?" He tried to sit up, but he was too weak and he cursed at himself. Her head lifted for a moment, showing bloodshot eyes and a dripping face. She shook her head, unable to say, simply laying herself as gently as she could onto his uninjured hand. Slipping it out from under her, Kyo lightly smoothed her hair, regretting that he'd driven her to this.
"I-I'm c-c-crying because it h-hurts me to see K-kyo-kun in pain!" She shook even more violently, scooting up the bed and burying her head in his neck. Her arm lay over his chest and the other slid under his neck, giving him a hug. Propping himself painfully on one elbow, he hugged her back with one arm, taking in the smell of her shampoo and rubbing strands of her hair between his fingers. She soon calmed, and she helped him get comfortable again, just in time for the doctor to arrive.
Immediately after the wounds were re-stitched and re-bandaged, Kyo fell asleep. This time, Tohru stayed, resolving to stay with him for as long as she could. Her eyes were aching, not only from crying, but from the toll that was being taken from her. Her vision field was severely limited, a cobwebby grayness creeping in from the sides and a thin film making the vision she had left slightly fuzzy. Still, she could make out the face of her beloved, and would be able to for the next two days. So, she'd make sure as much of that time as possible was spent doing just that. For it would have to last her a lifetime.
And it would be worth it. She'd make sure of that.
Kyo watched helplessly as Tohru, suddenly and without ceremony, laid still and her eyes slid shut. The doctor and nurses arranged her body back into as comfortable of a position as they could, covering her body with the blanket and departing. They told Kyo that it was probably some side effect of the nerves 'recalibrating' now that her brain was healing from its fall. They told him it probably wouldn't happen again, but to let a nurse know if it did so that they could ensure she didn't hurt herself during a 'fit'. He nodded numbly, hesitantly taking his place by her side again. Her hand was cold, so he pushed it under the blanket rather than holding it.
His heart hurt, so much, watching her and knowing there was nothing, not a darn thing in this world that he could do. He looked up at the clock on the wall. Nearly midnight. It had only been an hour since Hatori had left, and already he felt completely alone and helpless. There was only one person he needed at that moment, but she was lying practically lifeless in the hospital bed beside him. And, for the second time in that hour, Kyo began to cry. This time, it wasn't wistful tears that slowly made their way down his face; instead, silver streams of absolute hopelessness coursed down his face, soaking his shirt, the sheet and the floor. At any other time, it would have embarrassed him beyond belief and he would have forced himself to stop, but this time, there really was no one whose opinion he cared about enough to stop.
Except for maybe that stupid rat. His ever contrary mind reasoned, almost making him chuckle despite himself. It was enough to slow the tears, although they didn't stop for a long time. When they finally quit flowing, he felt wrung out and tired, but at the same time, he felt cleansed and lightened somehow. His problems weren't any less tragic, his situation was still dire, he just felt like now, he could deal with it. And he felt like now, he could let those that loved her help him.
"I'll be here if you wake." He whispered to the still body beside him, grinning inwardly at the soft smile he knew she'd be giving him if she was awake. And with that image warming his thoughts, he leaned forward, falling asleep with her hand brushing his lips and her imagined laughter keeping his heart alive. Hope blossomed, small and golden, in the soil of his heart, prepared lovingly and by long diligence and love by the one who now lay sleeping. And in the world outside, the sun rose.
A/N: Please, please, please review! This story is my baby right now and it needs your criticism and encouragement to grow into a beautiful, mature tale for all to love. Also, I always love being a help to those around me, so if you need to talk, PM me. I'll make time for you as best as I can. Love you all and stay strong in this coming time.