Stupid. Useless. Stupid. Useless. My head pounds with each step as I run from Kanan. How could I think he'd be okay with this! The look on his face... Tears pour down my face as I tear past strangers, half-hoping someone, anyone, will notice. No one does. No surprise. Sensing Kanan nearby, I scramble into a room, panting as the door wooshes closed behind me. Turning around in the cramped space, I melt onto the floor, arms wrapped around my knees. You sick, pathetic little wimp! No one cares, no one ever has. Do yourself and everyone else a favor for once and end it! Like you should have that first time.

Panting, I run fingers through my hair. I gave in yesterday, or a few days ago... whenever it happened! It would be so easy. No blade on me, but... there! Its not much, but a razor from behind me would do. Staring at the cased blades, I hesitate. What if... what if they do find me in time? To wake up like that again.. Clang! The razor slips from my fingers. I rest my head against my knees Hmph, too weak to even kill myself. Too weak to face him, too weak to end it.

The door opens, I don't look up. "Ezra, it's me. I... I'm sorry. About earlier. I just didn't know how to help. I was afraid of hurting you even more! Please, just. Just come with me." A blurry hand extends from the doorway.

"G-go away!" my voice cracks into a sob. "You still don't get it, do you? I'm the problem. I'm the failure, just the stupid kid. I can't even...couldn't even..." I start shaking, curling into myself more. Why is he even here! So he can say he found you too late, you idiot! Why else?

"Ezra..." Arms wrap around me picking me up in a ball. Tensing, I suck back, nearly falling. Kanan... cradles me. "Ezra, you were just a kid. You're still a kid! I love you like a son. You didn't have anyone to protect you then, but now you do. Just please, let us help you get through this. Let us help you find peace."

Frozen, I notice his heartbeat. Pounding, like mine. But... genuine. He... But... Exhausted, I let it all go for now, resting against his chest. For the first time in so long, it just feels... right. "Don't let go," looking into his eyes, I whimper, hoping he understands.

"Never." Curling even more into him, I relax completely, falling asleep almost immediately.

(Kanan's POV)

Tucking Ezra into the bottom bunk of my bed, I turn to face Hera and Zeb. The others grudgingly left a few minutes ago after seeing Ezra was safe with their own eyes. The poor guy was still rubbing his neck, deep in thought. "Tea?" I ask, grabbing a few cups from my hobby stash. Zeb snort-laughs at the normalness, but both nod appreciatively.

"Kanan..." Hera starts.

"He, uh, should probably bunk with you." Zeb quickly takes a sip of ginseng tea.

I nod, thankful he was the one to suggest it. "At least for now. Well, he was probably fine with you, but-"

"It'll make it easier on everyone," Hera interrupts. "And I'll try to spend more time with him, too. But Garazeb Orrelios, if you pull one prank, I swear-"

"Woah, Hera!" I mockingly shift in between her and Zeb, snickering at his horrified expression. "We're not trying to cut him off from normal, here. Just make him feel more at home."

She glares daggers at both of us. "Oh? And just what would you consider humiliating him in front of Sabine?"

I turn, shifting back to my chair to properly raise an eyebrow at Zeb. "Oh? And what is this humiliation of which she speaks?"

Zeb flushes redder than my cinnamon apple tea. "Well, uh, you see. There was a thing. He wanted to do, aaand, I might have encouraged him. Aaand I might have told Sabine before. He did it. So... yeah."

I shrug, "Hera?"

She frowns, lekku curling slightly. "Kanan Jarrus. You may not have grown up with your biological family, but you most certainly learned manners at the Temple. Brothers do not go as far as Zeb did."

"Ookay, well, keep pranking to... more brotherly?"

"That's actually not even close to what my brothers and I did to each other. I've been going easy on the kid by Lasat standards," Zeb grinned. Smirking, I gave him a light force push, jerking my head to Hera. "Okay! I'm lightening up."

We sat for a little while longer chatting before Zeb hit the sack. Once he left, Hera turned to me, concern radiating off her more than she had shown. "Love, do you really think he'll be all right?"

I sigh, melting as I look at his fitful face. "I don't know. I just don't know about anything anymore. I was so sure we were doing the right things, but if he was cutting the whole time..."

"Kanan, you don't know that. The medical droid said they were hard to pinpoint a time frame on, but most of them were old."

"But Hera, why didn't he tell us he was struggling?" I sink back into my chair, turning it to face the bunk bed.

"Love, he was on the street for so long and what happened with the men... Maybe he just wasn't ready to tell us. Remember what you first told me?"

I shake my head. "That was different. I-"

"Kanan," she starts kneading my shoulders and I melt. "You were broken. Mentally, but that's where Ezra is hurting, too. Let him tell you on his terms. Do for him what I did you."

"Fly me around and give me an earful? Ow!"

She playfully swats my ear. "No, you goof. Give him time, but be right there beside him. Subtly let him know you've felt pain, too, and want to help. Help when you can, but don't ever push."

I smile, lightly resting a hand on hers. Maybe we'll get through this after all.

(A/N Hi again actually... it hit me as I went back over this this morning for editing. Would you guys like one more to explain what happened to Ezra in the past? Or maybe a separate collection of one-shots instead? I'm pretty good at writing torture/beating up sequences little bit of Kanera this time. More fluff on both ends I wish I could address reviews individually, but I can't see any of the ones posted after December 30th. Anyone else having that issue?

Thank you guys so much for the wonderful reviews! This has been a great release for me, and based on how much y'all loved this, maybe I'll write a Hiro cutter - eh, could be a while; this actually helped a lot with that - or maybe something about Zeb. Hardly anyone writes about his story, and I think I've got the hang of his speaking style.

If you haven't already, please check out my other SWR fanfic, "Fear the Darkness?" which is also about Ezra, but from the POV of a powerful dark side oc. At this point, I doubt the updates will be weekly, but I'll try to do at least once every 2 weeks)