Wow this chapter really did spew from my mind. I hope you like where this story is going. Reviews very welcome.
Chapter 3 – Return to Earth
Lister, Rimmer, the Cat and Kryten stood in a semi circle around the terminals on board the Delta-Seven. Since Kryten had told Lister about the how he might travel back to earth Lister had told Rimmer and the Cat of his intentions and they had come round to his level of curiosity and agreed to go along. Holly had convinced Kryten that he could monitor the link from this end and thus allow him to travel with the group.
So here they where, the four of them looking at each other wondering if this was going to work and if it would really take them back to Earth, and what an Earth, 3 million years after Lister last saw it.
"Ready?" asked Kryten putting the mind scan device on his head.
Each of the three others nodded, each wearing the same silver band across their foreheads.
"OK, good luck everybody." Said Kryten as he keyed in the coordinates and pressed the transmit key.
Lister felt as strange tingling sensation then a burst of light as he found himself flung out of the room and travelling through space as Rimmer had done before. He had no idea if the others followed but right now didn't much care.
Earth 22th century somewhere in central London a phone box starts to ring. The receiver flies out from its resting place and faces away from the box. From the ear piece a stream of light streams out and takes shape as the body of a grown man.
Lister stumbles forward his face in his hands. "Boy what a rush."
He is quickly followed by Rimmer, Cat and Kryten.
"Sir are you OK?" asked Kryten.
"Yes, thank god Kryten." Replies Rimmer quickly.
Kryten walks over to Lister and touches him lightly on the back, Lister is still bent forward. "I was addressing Mr Lister."
"Oh right, of course." Said Rimmer starting to look around at the scene before him.
"Yeah man, I'm fine, where are we?" replies Lister also looking around.
"Some sort of alleyway I in a city by the look of it." Replied Rimmer.
"What, Earth, we are actually back on Earth, and look they still have alleyways, god I love alleyways." Said Lister going down to all fours and kissing the ground. Then as he realises what he has just done he looks over his shoulder at Kryten.
"Hang on, I can touch, what's going on?"
"Oh silly me, I forgot to mention, the system has hard light built in. Here you will be able to touch breath and do almost anything a normal human being can." Kryten saw Listers grin and added. "But sir I must warn you, your actually body is still waiting back for you on the Delta-Seven, if we do not return it will die."
"Yeah I know that, but maybe we could go find some locals to bond with, huh Cat." Said Lister winking at the Cat.
"I'm with you buddy, but what's that smell." Asked the Cat.
Rimmer had wondered over to a garbage bin and had lifted the tin lid.
"Rimmer man, what you doing?" asked Lister.
Rimmer ignored him and continued on his smelly mission, until at last he pulled out what he was looking for and held it before the others like some holy prize.
"A paper, wicked man, what's the date?" asked Lister.
Rimmer scanned the details and the others watched as his brow turned to a frown.
"What is it man?" asked Lister.
"According to this paper the date is 26th November 2179." Said Rimmer sounding surprised.
"Sir that's impossible according to my calculations that is in the past." Said Kryten going over to examine the paper.
"Well either we have stumbled on an antique news paper pile or we somehow have travelled back in time." Said Rimmer handing the paper to Lister.
Lister scanned the date, he could not believe it. Not only was he back on earth but he was back on earth on the day of his 24th Birthday.
The look on Listers face told the others something was up, the Cat turned to him.
"Hey what's up Bud, you look more shocked than that time goal post here found his prize swimming certificate floating in the bath tub." Stated the Cat.
"It's my birthday." Replied Lister simply.
"Your birthday, why didn't you say bud, you know I would have not got you anything right." Asked the Cat taking a small hologram comb out of his pocket and preening his hair.
Rimmer looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Your birthday, it's not your Birthday for another six months, I know because that's when you have your annual bath."
"I know, but not on Red Dwarf, here, the date is my 24th Birthday man. This is the day I ended up getting smashed and woke up on Mimas." Said Lister putting the paper down.
"Oh that day, yes I remember you telling me something about a pink hat and yellow fishing waders, very amusing." Said Rimmer chuckling to himself.
Lister looked up excitedly." Don't you see, this is a second chance, If I can stop me getting hammered today and ending up on that flight I can stop me joining the space core."
"Sir, I hate to remind you but the laws of causality have already played out, there is a good chance that even if you do succeed in stopping your younger self you will still end up in the core." Said Kryten.
"Yeah, and how are we going to find you dude, I mean you could be anywhere?" said the Cat.
"I know where I am, we played a drinking game, we were attempting to drink the monopoly board." Said Lister thinking back.
"You what, didn't they have glasses back then." Asked the Cat sounding confused at the notion of drinking from a board game.
"No, you follow the street names on the board, stopping to drink at each of the locations. It was a right laugh, well up and till those smeggers put me on a ship to Mimas that is." Said Lister.
"Kryten, how long have we got?" asked Lister.
"Err less than 2 hours sir, I was not sure how long we should stay. Is it enough?" asked Kryten looking concerned.
"It'll have to be." Said Lister making for the entrance to the ally. "You coming?" he said turning to the others still standing still.
Each had a look of reflection on there face, Kryten was the first to speak.
"Sir, say if you do succeed, then I will probably not get rescued from the Nova five or learn all those wonderful things you have taught me and what about Mr Cat. With out you to smuggle his great great great grandmother on board Red Dwarf he will cease to exist."
"Cease to exist, that does not sound good! The universe needs my style, good looks and general wonderfulness. So I'm not going anywhere budd."
Lister turned to Rimmer. "Come on man you understand don't you."
Rimmer looked at Lister, noting the desperation in his face, he had seen that in his own face on the many times when he thought he could save his own skin from the accident that robbed him of his officer hood.
"Lister, I'd love to help, but I have to agree with the Cat." Started Rimmer.
"You do?" replied the Cat almost sounding surprised.
"Yes, see if you don't join the core and survive the accident then there will be no point in Holly bringing me back and I will remain a data trail on a slug in some dusty draw. It's not fun being dead but it's a hell of a lot better than not existing." Finished Rimmer.
"I see." Said Lister looking crest fallen. His shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry guys but I need this." And with that Lister turned and ran from the ally and disappeared.
Next time: Rimmer, Cat and Kryten go after Lister while Lister searches down his younger self.