Chapter 3 - Shenanigans at Loguetown

"WE'RE HERE!" Luffy was agog at the fact that we had finally made landfall at Loguetown, and he hopped up and down like a little kid at the ice cream parlor. "This town is so huge! You guys weren't kidding!"

I shook my head and grinned at his childish behavior. "You act like you've never been to a city before."

"Not one this big!" Luffy said, giddy with the desire to explore. I could see how much he wanted to do so in his eyes. They literally sparkled with adventure. He looked around at the street in front of us, beyond the triangular archway boasting the city's name that stretched from the roof of the buildings on one side of the street to the other. "Whoa, there's all sorts of shops and things!"

"This place used to be a pirate haven until the Marines showed up," Nami said. "It still has everything you'd need for a trip to the Grand Line."

"Seems like they'll have good supplies for all of what we want, then," Sanji whistled appreciatively. "Do you think they give discounts for pirates?"

"Probably not with the Marines around, perv cook," Zoro said with a roll of his eyes.

Sanji's eye twitched, but he sighed and ignored the jab this time. "Well, at any rate, let's not waste any time, guys. Luffy does have a bounty, after all, and this is a Marine base. The more time we spend here, the more likely it is someone will recognize Luffy and call the Marines down on us."

"About that!" I said, raising my hand. "I have a solution!"

All eyes turned to me.

After a few skipped beats, Usopp realized what I meant; the first of the Straw Hats to do so. "Huh-? Wait. No."

Nami's eyes widened in horror after that, and her face darkened with a blush. "You mean you want to-? No way!"

"What?" I asked innocently, an evil smirk crossing my lips as I imagined what I might produce. "It's just a disguise!"

"The world isn't ready for this, Colt!"

Sanji looked frozen. His eyes darted from me to Luffy, then back to me and repeated the cycle. He opened his mouth, closed it, then shuddered and looked away. "...I understand why you want to do this, and it would definitely work, but I really don't want to consider the effects it would have so I'm just going to run away and retain my sanity."

"OI! SANJI!" barked a horrified Nami and Usopp, trying to stop him as he dashed away into the crowd in abject terror.

Luffy blinked and tilted his head in innocent confusion. "I don't know what you guys are talking about, but it sounds fun! Let's do it!"

"That's two yays, two nays," I said, my voice laced with evil laughter. I turned to grin at Zoro disarmingly. "What says you, my dear Sensei?"

Zoro stared at me, then sighed. "Do whatever you want."

Terror washed over Nami and Usopp. "Zoro, you traitor! Do you want to watch the world burn that badly!?" they cried in tandem.

"Muahahaha… MUAHAHAHA…" I bellowed, throwing my head back and my arms up in the air. "Luffy, come with me, we don't want you out where prying eyes can see for this." Luffy blinking cluelessly in response, I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him over to a nearby wall, where a pile of crates and barrels blocked our view from the general populous swarming the streets of Loguetown. Then I placed a hand on Luffy's head.

"Ready?" I said. Then I winced as a sudden realization crossed my mind. "Um. Actually, just remembered - this may hurt a bit, and, uh, maybe leave you unable to move. It did for me the first time, anyway. Try to ignore the pain so you don't fall unconscious."

A carefree, pure smile stretched up Luffy's rubbery cheeks. "That's okay! Just do whatever it is! I want to see this cool disguise!"

"Alright. Switch-Switch Sixty Three."

I blinked. One second, Luffy remained normal - a rather short guy with short, unkempt black hair and a round face with a fairly small nose. Well, I say he was rather short, but he wasn't much shorter than me in all fairness; whereas (if my memory held firm) he was 5 foot 6, I stood at 5 foot 11. In any case, with a burst of smoke that expelled from him, he suddenly several inches over me in height, and his hair lengthened out down his back. His chest expanded out as though he'd used a miniature Gum-Gum Balloon only there, becoming two decent-sized breasts; if I had to wager a guess, I'd say around a mid or higher tier C cup? His eyes softened even more than they already were, becoming a beautiful light hazel, and his head became more heart-shaped.

Luffy's clothes changed, too, to accommodate his new form. His vest simply changed shape to a more feminine version, one that showed off a bit of his cleavage while hugging his newly hourglass shaped hips more. His jean shorts also changed, getting shorter and gaining fluffy frills on the bottoms.

All of this happened in the space of a second or two.

Luffy blinked and tilted his head. "That didn't really hurt at all."

I stared. "...Eh? It hurt me like crazy the first time. Can you still move? Wait, you tilted your head, yes you can. ...What the hell!? That's so unfair!"

"Shishishi!" He looked down in awe. "This is awesome, Colt! I'm a girl now?"

"Yep," I confirmed, giving him a thumbs up. "What do you want to be called while you're like this, 'he or she?"

Luffy shrugged. "I don't really care," he said, his voice higher and softer now. "She's fine, I guess?"

"'She' it is, then." I nodded and started heading back to the others. I gave her another once-over. Damn, she looked incredibly cute! I would totally tap that. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I blushed and immediately shoved it into the darkest recesses of my thoughts. "Well, come on Luffy, now that that's settled…"

"Right!"

Nami and Usopp stared on while we returned, me grinning like the Cheshire Cat as I looked forward to the sheer glory of their expressions. Luffy didn't have a care in the entire world, despite the fact that each step caused her new breasts to jiggle, which in turn drew some seedy looks from some of the other men on the street near us. The orangette and long nose shook themselves out of their stupor and exchanged horrified looks.

"She's ridiculously cute," Usopp whimpered at last. "Why? Remember Kaya… Remember Kaya..."

"It's so unfair," Nami cried. "Why does Luffy of all people make such a beautiful girl!?"

"We can't let Sanji see this."

"Never," Nami agreed, tired pain weaving through her voice like the mere thought of such an event sounded worse than entering Hell itself to her. "Never in a million years."

Zoro, watching the whole thing with a raised eyebrow, just shook his head. I couldn't read his thoughts very well, although he did seem resigned to all of the bullshit going on around him. "Colt, you're something else, I'll give you that much."

"I'll take that as a compliment!"

Luffy looked down at her breasts. "Man, these things are heavy," she complained suddenly. "And this shirt is making my chest hurt!" As I gazed on, not quite understanding what she was about to do, she reached up to… grab at her…

I almost choked in flustered panic as realization struck me.

Oh, shit.

Usopp and Nami squealed in horror, their faces going pure white as Usopp murmured weakly, "It's just as we feared…"

"LUFFY, NO!" I yelped, face flushed like a tomato. "You're in public!"

The sex-swapped pirate captain paused and looked at me, clearly not understanding the problem. Her head tilted almost 45 degrees to the right. "Eh? But I've done this before."

"But… but…" I stammered, nearly choking in my own embarrassment. "You're a girl now!" I hissed quietly so that no bystanders would hear. "It's different!"

She pouted. "How?"

"It just is!" Nami and I groaned together. Luffy picked her nose shamelessly, humming noncommittally.

"I have several regrets," I added, facepalming.

Nami glared at me. "Now you know why we didn't want you to do this! Do you want to send her out on her own like that? She'll flash the entire street!"

"Well, what do you suggest, huh!?" I pointed out, my face hot with the embarrassment of almost seeing Luffy's… ah, large tracts of land. "We needed a way to disguise her and this was the best option!"

"Yeah, but you could have put a little more forethought into this!" Usopp moaned.

"Guys?" Zoro said flatly.

"Well, excuse me for not realizing Luffy would be this socially inept!" I huffed, even though I really should have seen this coming. I mean, fuck, I'd seen Amazon Lily. Luffy had absolutely no problem showing off his "family jewels" to an island full of women. Why would he have had any problem with this whatsoever?

Zoro sighed. "Guys?"

"We'll have to have one of us go with her to make sure she doesn't show herself to the rest of the world," Usopp decided at last. "Draw straws, maybe?"

"We don't have straws on us," Nami retorted.

"Well, I'll teleport to the ship and get some then," I concluded.

"Guys… Luffy's already left."

We froze.

The wind blowing gently across the street and the chit-chatting of the pedestrians reigned as the only sounds around us for several moments

"...Fuck," I said solemnly.

"This is a problem," Usopp decided flatly.

Nami nodded, side-eyeing me and obviously judging me. "A very big problem."

"In my defense…" I started to say, then trailed off. "Actually, yeah, I've got nothing. This is completely my fault. I take full blame for this."

Zoro shook his head in bemusement. "Well, I'm going to go get our swords, Colt. Let's all meet up back here in a few hours." And with that, the tall green-haired swordsman walked off into the crowd, headed for whatever weapon shops he could find.

We watched him go silently, still trying to process what exactly had just happened.

"Um… I guess we better follow suit?" Usopp relented, and Nami and I sighed.

"Alright, then. See ya in a few hours, buddy." I clapped Usopp on the shoulder and nodded at Nami. "Come on, let's go shopping."

Nami groaned. "Sure… And if thousands of people get flashed, it's entirely your fault."

~o~

Smoker stared at the straw-hatted girl he'd bumped into in the narrow alley as she ran happily down it, shouting about some platform or something. She looked kind of familiar, but also unfamiliar at the same time. He squinted his eyes, trying to figure out why he felt like he knew her.

And also why, exactly, her strikingly red vest hung completely open and unbuttoned, without even a bra underneath it.

Straw Hat Girl picked herself up off the ground from where she'd fallen and looked up at him. "Whoa! You look cool!"

"...Thanks?" he said, uncertainly.

"Who are you? Do you know where the place where they execute people is at?"

"I'm Smoker," he said, rolling his cigars around between his lips. "And it's that way." He pointed in the direction of the execution platform, caught off-guard by this strange girl who apparently had never heard of him before. She must be a visitor from offshore. But still, even then, most visitors had heard about him, especially people from nearby islands. And she didn't even seem to recognize his status as a Marine, either; he knew well the look people gave him when they realized his status.

"Thanks, Smokey!" she exclaimed, and ran off in the direction he'd pointed her to. "You're a nice guy!"

"It's Smoker," he replied automatically, as for some reason, he felt like he was talking to that idiot Garp. Then he blinked, and the feeling passed. "...And buckle up your vest." He started to walk back down the alley, in route to take out most recent pirate crew causing trouble on the island, when she said…

"Geez, you're acting just like my crew now. Hmmph." And the sound of a rubber band snapping cracked through the air.

Smoker whirled around, surprised at what he'd just heard, but only an empty alley met his eyes. He blinked. Where had she gone? Had she hidden behind one of the many clusters of dusty barrels and crates shoved against the walls? He frowned and shrugged it off, turning around and continuing back down on his path.

While he went on his way, the mint-haired Marine mused over her last sentence. She'd said crew, right? But she didn't look like a Marine nor did she carry herself like one. He simply couldn't rationally see any pirate crew letting a cute, innocent girl such as her be their captain, either. Maybe she meant something like a traveling theater production crew? He'd met one of those once.

~o~

"Honestly, that rubber-brained idiot is gonna be the death of me one of these days," Nami sighed with annoyance mixed with a small amount of fondness. Walking up and down the streets, we searched for the stores with the cheapest, but greatest quality, clothes. We weren't finding much luck, however, or at least, Nami wasn't finding anything that caught her eye.

I strode over the cobblestone streets of Loguetown alongside the resident navigator, listening to her complain about her captain tiredly. She'd been moaning about this since we all split up to do our own thing.

"Yeah, well, what's done is done," I said at last, shrugging. "All we can hope for now is that he… er, she doesn't cause too much chaos."

Nami sighed. "You're right and I hate you for that."

We walked in silence for a moment, mulling over recent events.

"Sorry for hitting you," she said suddenly.

I furrowed my brow in confusion and looked over at her as my ADD momentarily made me forget the event in question. "What?" Then I blinked in realization. "Oh, you mean when I teased Sanji with my female form that first time?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I thought you were going to try something else with it, and it felt like you were misusing your female form or something."

I rubbed my head sheepishly, blushing. "Oh. That's understandable." I tried to ignore the fact that I'd spent the last several days considering some, ah, naughty time with said form. Wincing, I said, "It still hurt, though."

Nami chuckled apologetically. "I hit harder than I used to… Luffy makes a good punching bag, especially with all of the dumbass things he… er, she gets up to sometimes."

"I can definitely understand that," I said dryly, smirking a little. "I bet hitting him's therapeutic."

A cutesy, faux-innocent grin swept up her face. "Yep! And it doesn't hurt him one bit!"

We laughed at that for a good bit, then I spotted a store sign with a shirt on it. I looked at the door of the shop, which sported lettering that read 'Cranky's Clothes.'

"Cranky's Clothes?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow skeptically. "Who names their shop like that? I'd be worried people would stay away because they don't want to get yelled at by the owner."

Nami shrugged. "Who knows? We might as well check it out."

We entered the shop, a doorbell attached to the inward door handle jingling as we did so. Contrary to its name, the clothes store was warm and welcoming. A pleasant aroma like ginger tea wafted against my nose. A hanging ceiling fan turned rapidly, creating a pleasant, cool breeze that felt nice after the heat from outside. Circular racks of shirts and pants stood evenly spaced on the wooden floor, while well-made shoes sat in lines on shelves that stuck out from the side walls. At the far end of the shop sat the counter. Behind it stood an old man with a strangely elongated, ovular head and pink hair almost resembling carrot greens.

"Hey, damn whippersnappers!" the old guy greeted us in a voice whose cheerfulness contrasted the language he used. "Glad to see damn youngsters like you in this fucking place!"

I blinked. "You're Cranky, I assume?"

The old guy grinned. "Cranky's my name, mate. Don't fuckin' overuse it, hear me? Watcha looking for?"

"Clothes, to start off with," Nami snarked flatly.

Cranky guffawed. "Nice! I like a youngster with a sense of humor! Well, you barged into the right goddamn place, kids. Shop as much as you damn please."

We perused the racks of clothes, Nami getting visibly happier with each new shirt or blouse.

"Wow, these are good quality," she said appreciatively. "Where do you get these from?"

"Made 'em all myself!" Cranky informed us proudly. "My old bat of a mum was something of a prodigy from the North Blue. The fucker taught me everything she damn well knew."

"And they're pretty cheap, too," I mused, checking the price tag of a shirt. 200 beli for this - that was about 20 dollars, right? A decent bargain.

"Can't find better prices anywhere else in this goddamn town!" our host laughed. "Those buncha greedy idjits trying to feed off of tourists' pockets… Cranky says hell no!"

Nami grinned. "I like your style, Cranky," she said happily, picking out a cute pink shirt. "Oh, this is really nice!"

"Changing room's in the back. There's a boy's and a girl's one."

Scanning the racks, I continued looking for an outfit that would suit me. Eventually, I found a neat set of clothes that I really liked and that felt extremely soft and comfortable. It consisted of a dark green shirt, contrasted by a tan scarf and featuring a fancy, lighter green doublet. I'd added a baldric that I'd found in a barrel filled with accessories to the set as well, which went over the shirt and beneath the doublet. Lastly, I'd selected pants a darker shade of tan than the scarf, with diamond patterns stitched in them, and a pair of slick brown shoes with lighter soles.

I went to don the outfit in the boy's changing room. While I slid the various pieces of clothing on, I examined myself in the mirror. My brown hair, usually parted to the right, had become windswept and somewhat messy after a week on the ocean. My hazel eyes went well with my outfit. A stubby beard was starting to come in as a result of leaving it unattended since arriving here, and I realized I probably needed a shave soon.

While gazing at my own reflection, I flexed my arm, grinning at the larger-than-normal muscles that I saw as a result. Even after only a week, Zoro's intense training regime certainly proved fruitful.

At last, I exited the changing room, grinning as Cranky whistled appreciatively.

"Not fuckin' bad, runt!" he approved, sounding rather pleased. "You clean up well, eh?"

"Think I look like a pirate?" I asked, grinning. The old man laughed.

"Might wanna stay outta that salty-ass bastard Smoker's line o' sight! Though maybe with all that smoke from them cancer sticks he's always got, he wouldn't see ya in the first place! Yahahaha!"

The oval-headed shop owner slapped the desk and chortled at his own joke.

I grinned. Yeah, I really liked Cranky. He seemed like he was one hoot of a guy.

"Not bad, Colt," Nami said, coming out of her own changing room with a pile of clothes in hand. "Is that all you want?"

"Nah, I want a few more things. Don't want to be stuck wearing the same thing every day."

By the end of the shopping trip, I'd picked out six sets of clothes that I could mix and match as I wanted, plus some winter gear for Drum Kingdom. Nami ended up with a pile of bags so huge that, frankly, I didn't understand how the entire damn women's section hadn't been completely emptied. I gaped dumbly at the sheer amount of them and croaked.

"Uh… I'm going to be carrying that?"

"Yep!" Nami said cheekily, smirking. "Unless you want to be paying three hundred percent interest on what I'm buying for you."

I gulped. "Uh. Right. No, I'll carry them. Don't, don't worry about that."

The idea of being in debt to Nami terrified me, even though I knew deep down that it'd almost definitely happen to me at some point. At any rate, with our outfits purchased, and with a severe dent taken out of Nami's treasure trove, we left the shop and emerged on the warm street. The orangette checked her watch and shrugged.

"We still have some time to kill, but we might as well head back to the ship and put all of these on it. Or do you want to get some lunch?"

I thought about that for a moment. "Eh, let's just return to the ship. I'm sure Sanji will make us something when everyone's back together again."

"Sounds fine to me," Nami said with a shrug.

We headed back to the ship, and as we walked in silence, enjoying the warm air and salty breeze that rolled through Loguetown, something caught my eye. Or maybe it'd be more accurate to say I picked up on a powerful aura or something. Either way, I turned to look at it and saw someone covered in a long, tan cloak glancing surreptitiously around before ducking into an alley between what looked like a bookstore and a cafe. I stared. Something about him…

Hold, someone suspicious and wearing a tan cloak in Loguetown? It could be either Buggy or one of his crew members, or...

I dropped the bags I was carrying, Nami turning to me with a surprised protest.

"I'll be right back!" I said quickly, and raced off towards the alleyway.

After a short sprint, I caught up to just a bit behind the stranger. As I approached, he paused and turned ever so slightly my way. I felt a wave of power press against me, and I flinched, suddenly gaining the intense desire to throw up. Bile rose in my throat, and I forced it down painfully. My legs wobbled under the weight of his aura, and I fell to one knee, shaking.

Shit, was this Conqueror's Haki?

"Who are you?" a deep, commanding voice demanded.

"My name is Colt Read!" I squeaked out in response, my face pale and sweaty from the sheer presence of this man's being. "I'm a member of Monkey D. Luffy's crew!"

There was a moment's pause, and then the aura completely went away and the man grinned at me. I couldn't see it due to the cloak and the dark alley, but I could sure as hell feel it. "Luffy's crew?" the man repeated with immense interest.

"Yes." I swallowed down the last of the bile that still threatened to rise up and set my expression firmly. Still trembling, I closed my hands into fists, forced myself to stop shaking, and stood back up. "And you… I only got a brief glimpse of your face, but… you're that Revolutionary, right? Dragon?"

A pause.

"And?"

So I was right. "I have a message that I need you to pass on. It's for your second-in-command, Sabo. I know his past. I heard my captain, Luffy talking about his past and when he mentioned Sabo and described him, well… I realized your Sabo and his Sabo were the same person."

"What!? Luffy?"

"Do you know him?" I asked as though I didn't know the answer.

He laughed. "Yeah! He's my son. ...Oh, I probably shouldn't have told you that. Forget I said it."

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" I barked, dumbfounded. Damn, I could really see how this man was Garp's son now… I sighed and nodded. "Anyway, yeah. Luffy and Sabo were sworn brothers…" I continued, telling Dragon about what had happened and how the two brothers had met on Dawn Island. After I was finished, I took a deep breath. "Luffy really misses Sabo. He and Ace thinks he's dead, too. Please, tell Sabo about this so he'll regain his memory. If it doesn't work, show him Ace and Luffy's bounty posters."

"Regain his memory… how'd you know he had amnesia?" As a ray of light illuminated his face, I could see Dragon narrowing his eyes.

"Well, it was mostly just a guess," I fibbed, sweating bullets. "But an educated one. I guessed that there had to be some reason why he wasn't contacting Luffy or Ace if he was still alive, and considering how his boat had been blown up by a cannonball, well…"

"...I see," Dragon, apparently accepting that explanation, said. "You've certainly given me a lot to think about, young man. Thank you. I think Sabo will be happy to finally know and remember who he used to be."

"Um, also, if it's not too rude of me to ask, why are you here?" It had been something that always bugged me back home. How convenient it was that Dragon had showed up at the exact place and time where Luffy had been the most in danger of death in the entire series!

Dragon grinned. "Is it wrong for a father to want to see his son off on his great adventure?"

"Uh… well, no, but…" I tilted my head in confusion. "How'd you know we'd be here on this island today?"

"I didn't," Dragon replied with a chuckle. "I've been waiting here since Axe-Hand Morgan was taken down!"

...Oh.

Well. That made sense, at least. Still though, didn't that leave his army unattended? I winced as I thought how crazy something like that might get. Did Sabo, Koala and Hack have enough control over everybody? Or had Dragon been running operations from Loguetown?

Eh, it wasn't worth much thought, honestly. Sighing, I smiled. "Well, in any case, it was cool meeting you, Dragon, but I've got to return to my crewmate!"

"Don't keep them waiting," Dragon said with a hint of humor.

I nodded and, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the fact that, holy shit, I'd just had a conversation with MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON, I stepped back shakily, then turned and ran back out of the alley.

When I had left the alley, I allowed myself a few moments' breather, just to get myself back in a normal state of mind. I leaned against the wall of the cafe shop that made up one side of the alley, resting and wiping sweat from my brow. Shit, I'd been more terrified than I'd thought. And that Conqueror's Haki… damn, that had been some powerful bullshit.

I'd probably have nightmares of that Haki for several days.

Hoo boy. Breathe in, breathe out… you're okay, the big, scary man isn't going to use his thinking powers on you anymore…

"There you are, Colt." I looked up and Nami stood there with the shopping bags in hand, frowning. She put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. "What happened to you? You look like crap."

"Saw somebody I thought I knew," I replied, shivering. Then I lied, "It wasn't who I thought it was."

Nami pursed her lips. "...Okay? Whatever. Carry these again, they're heavy." She shoved the bags into my arms and I fumbled around with them before getting a good grip on them.

And so we once more headed off to our ship.

But of course, we didn't get more than a few blocks, before gossip spread around the Loguetown citizens that we picked up on. And that gossip was…

"Hey, did you here Buggy the Pirate is going to be executing Straw Hat Luffy?"

Nami and I froze in shock, turning to listen intently.

"Eh!? You mean that clown guy with the big nose?"

"Yeah! He's got Straw Hat trapped on Roger's platform!"

"No way!"

"A fifteen million beli bounty taking down a thirty million beli one? How'd that happen?"

Nami and I turned to each other in horror, then at last gasped, "LUFFY!?" Shit, I thought I'd avoided this by disguising Luffy as a girl! What the hell!?

"Colt!" Nami glared daggers at me. "What the hell!?"

I shook my head in stupified protest. "Don't look at me! I'm just as confused as you! How could anyone have recognized her like that?" I dropped the bags on the ground, then looked around for something to touch. "Nami, do you have anything unimportant?"

"Why?"

"I need to switch places with Luffy, then quickly switch places back here with something else!"

Nami paused, then dug into her pocket and offered me a beli coin. "I hate having to waste a coin like this, but use this!" I snatched it from her and dropped it on the ground rapidly.

"Thanks!" I imagined Luffy in her female form, and tugged. "Switch-Switch Teleport!"

...Nothing.

What the hell!? What… I knew for a fact it could work with humans! I'd switched places with one of the pirates who'd captured me while testing out my powers during my captivity! What the fuck!? What was going on? Shit!

"Colt!?" Nami asked worriedly.

"No juice!" I gulped, shaking my hands furiously. "Come on! Work, work, work! Switch-Switch Teleport!" Tug. Nothing. "Switch-Switch Teleport!" Nothing. "DAMMIT! Switch-Switch Teleport!"

My panicked screaming started to earn me some looks from the other pedestrians. I didn't care, and kept trying to use my powers, but they just weren't responding. Why not!? I couldn't understand! Had Dragon's Haki fucked me up so badly that it threw my powers out of whack!? Could Haki even do that!? What the hell!?

"Colt, come on!" Nami exclaimed, grabbing me by the collar and shaking me. "If your powers aren't working, we'll just have to run to the platform. We don't have any time to waste!"

"...Dammit!" I cursed, and looped my fingers around the handles of our many bags of clothes, picking them up with a strained groan. "You're right. Let's go."

We raced off, my doublet blowing back in the breeze as we moved as fast as possible.

All the while, I wondered aggravatedly, Luffy, how the hell did you get yourself into this mess?

~o~

Standing on the execution platform, one Monkey D. Luffy laughed as she gazed out across the area. It had taken her a fairly decent time to find her way here, but at last! She had found her goal! And it was SUPER COOL! The view was amazing, and she could practically feel the history and awesomeness rolling off of the top of the platform like waves. It had the same sensation as when she'd first set out to sea.

"Man, this is awesome!" she exclaimed to herself, tipping Hat down lower so that it shielded the bright sun from her eyes. "I wonder why they banned it? Banning something this cool is dumb."

Below her, an annoyed and exasperated Marine called up to her to get down, and to buckle up her vest.

She ignored him. And what was with people telling her to buckle up her vest, anyway?

Suddenly, the same feeling that had come over her when Colt had used her powers returned. Luffy blinked and suddenly realized her chest was much lighter. She looked down and… oh. "She" was a guy again. He stared for a few short beats.

Huh.

Then Luffy shrugged even as, down below, the Marine's jaw dropped and he passed out from the pure unexpectedness of the pirate captain changing from a woman back to a man. (You kinda had to forgive the poor guy. He was, really, just a janitor for the Marines and had never been on the Grand Line, so he didn't have the same kind of tempered experience with Devil Fruit Bullshit that others did.) Unconcerned, Luffy returned to his previous antics.

That was, until quite suddenly, someone had jumped on him from behind and pinned him down.

"Eh!? What the hell!?" he cried in surprise, squirming.

"Straw Hat!" a dimly familiar voice Luffy didn't quite recognize yelled triumphantly, as though he'd won a tournament. "I have found you at last! Prepare to die!"

Luffy blinked. "...Oh."

Well. This was happening.