LATCH
CHAPTER III
"Where's Kakashi?"
"Probably, banging some hot chick." Neji half smiled and we all chuckled.
Neji pulls his car into the campus parking lot, and we follow the stream of humanity dotted with ever-present black and red gowns, heading towards the gymnasium.
"Goodluck, Sakura. We love you and we are so proud of you." I imagined my parents telling me that. It's been three years since they joined Kami-sama and I missed them so much. How I wish they were here sharing this wonderful milestone of my life with me.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I blinked and saw Kakashi in front of me handing me a bouquet of white roses. "Happy Graduation, Darling" he said. I smiled. "I'm sorry if I hadn't picked you up myself. Something came up you know, the usual things."
"Please. Spare me the talk. But Kash, thank you. Thank you for being here with me now. I missed mom and dad." He hugged me and kissed my forehead. "I'm sure if they were here, they'll tell you that they love you and they are so proud of you." I smiled and I force back the tears as I feel my eyes are swimming in red tears right now.
"Shall we go?" Kakashi said and offering his hand which I took and we joined the buzzing crowd.
The gymnasium is crowded. Kakashi gone to sit with the other parents and well-wishers, while I make my way to my seat. I'm wearing my black gown and my cap. I make my way to my seat amongst fellow students whose surnames also begin with H. I am in the second row, I glance behind me and spot Kakashi sat up high in the bleachers. I give him a wave. He smiled back. I sit and wait.
At ten precisely, the school's president, Uchiha Madara appears from behind the stage, followed by the four vice presidents, and then the senior professors, all decked out in their black and red symbols of office. We stand and applaud our teaching staff. Some staffs nod and wave, while others look bored. Tsunade, my personal mentor and my favorite clinical instructor, looks gorgeous as ever.
Last on the stage are Ino and wait what... For real? Is that, Sasuke? Sasuke? no this can't be real; he transferred to another school. That's not Sasuke. That's not him. It can't be him. I blinked, trying to shrug what I just saw. I looked up to see if he was really there and to my surprised, he was not there. Ok. My mind is playing with me now and it fucking irritates me.
Suddenly, the room erupts into applause as Yamanaka Ino has taken the stage. The president sits, and Ino tosses her lovely long blonde hair behind her as she places her papers on the lectern. She takes her time. She smiles, looks up at the captivated throng, and launches eloquently into her speech. She's so composed; full of confidence.
"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president or in my case.. princess. When we were ten, they asked again and we answered – rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: who the hell knows?
This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; it's time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love – a lot. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent. To live the life you want does not depend on what you have. It's what you do with what you have.
So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask us again, what we want to be... we won't have to guess. We'll know."
Oh, Yamanaka Ino, you can deliver a good line. I feel so proud of her at the moment. Even though I have heard her speech before, I listen carefully. She commands the room and takes her audience with her.
The ceremony takes another hour to conclude. It's endless. Finally, the President leads the faculty members off the stage to yet more rousing applause.
"Hey, Sakura. Congratulations!" Kakashi puts his arm around me.
"Would you like to come and have a drink in the gazebo?"
"Sure. Lead the way."
I put my arm through his, and we stroll out with the throng into the warmth of the early afternoon. We pass the line for the official photographer.
"Oh, that reminds me." Kakashi drags a digital camera out of his pocket. "One for the album, Sakura." I roll my eyes at him as he snaps a picture or me.
The gazebo is enormous, and crowded – students, parents, staffs, and friends, all chattering happily. Kakashi hands me a glass of champagne.
"Sakura!" I turn, and Nara Shikamaru scoops me into his arms. He twirls me around, without spilling my wine.
"Congratulations!" he beams down at me, narrow brown eyes twinkling.
What a surprise. His dirty fairly long jet black hair tied in spiky ponytain. He's beautiful as Tenten. The family resemblance is striking. Shikamaru is Tenten stepbrother.
"Wow. Shika! How lovely to see you. Kash, you remember Shikamaru? He's Tenten stepbrother and Ino's boyfriend. Shika, this is Kakashi." They shake hands, my god father coolly assessing Mr. Nara. Stop it, Kakashi. He is definitely smitten with Ino. There's no way he'll settle with someone like me.
"When did you get back from England?" I ask. "I've been back for a week, but I wanted to surprise my sister and my girl," he says impassively.
"That's cheesy." I grin up at him.
"She is good, couldn't miss that." He looks immensely proud of Ino.
"She gave a great speech."
"That she did," Kakashi agrees.
"Hello, Kakashi." Tenten kisses Kakashi on both cheeks, making him blush. She turned to Shikamaru to kiss him to. "Shika, Mom and Dad wanted a word." Tenten drags Shikamaru away.
Kakashi drops me at the burial at dusk.
"Talk to them," he says.
"I will. Thanks for coming Kash."
"Wouldn't have missed it for the world, Sakura. You make me so proud."
Oh no. I'm not going to get emotional. A huge lump forms in my throat, and I hug him, hard. He puts his arms around me, bemused, and I can't help it – tears pool in my eyes.
"Hey." Kakashi croons. "Big old lay.. want me to accompany you?"
I laugh, in spite of my tears. "No, Kash, I'm good. It's been so great to see you."
"Good luck with the Board Exams. Let me know if you need anything."
"Sure thing, Kash."
"And baby?" he called as I stepped out of the car. I bent down to see him one more time.
"Love you, Sakura."
"Love you too, Kash."
He smiles, his dark-colored eyes warm, glowing, and he starts the engine. I wave him off as he drives into the dusk, and I wander listlessly to the tomb of my parents.
First thing I do is lit two candles, along with the bouquet of white roses Kakashi gave me earlier, I placed them at the tomb. Carefully opening the bottle of wine I carried, I pulled out three champagne glasses and poured wine to it.
"Hi Mom! Hi Dad! I brought as some wine. How are you?" I sat down sipping my wine. "I finally got my Bachelor's Degree today Mom and Dad. I hope I did make you proud. Ino gave a very wonderful speech earlier. God, I'm so proud of her. If it wasn't for that girl, I might be with you by now; stupid pig head.
"Mom, I'm so sad. My heart aches every single day knowing I will never see the both of you again. It crashes every piece of my being that I have to live this life alone. I know, I have Kakashi and my friends but it's different without the both of you. Why so soon, God? Have I done something really bad that I deserved this? Tell me, God. Please tell me."
I sobbed. I don't know for how long I was crying but my eyelids feels heavy and I try to withstand and stay I wake but I fail. I sob harder. Why, why, why have I fallen in love with him? Why? Why can't I love anyone else? My subconscious is shaking her head sadly, and my inner goddess is nowhere to be seen. Oh, this is a dark morning of the soul for me. I'm so alone. I want my Mom. I remember her words whenever we fight,
"Suffering is an option, and happiness is a choice. You are so young, you have so much to experience, just let things happen the way they're supposed to. You deserve nothing but the best of everything." I did. I chose happiness and what did it got me? a broken spirit to show for it.
Flashbacks
"NO! No, Sakura! No! NO!" and he's pulling me into his arms, all breathless and compassionate and I want none of him.
"Let go… no…" and I find myself struggling out his grip, pushing him away. Fighting him. "Don't touch me!" I hiss. I straighten and stare at him, and he's watching me, crimson eyes wide, puzzled. I dash the tears angrily out of my eyes with the backs of my hands, still glaring at him.
"Why? Was this just all about sex? Is sex that really important to you that you cannot wait?" I use the sleeve of my dress to wipe my nose.
He gazes at me warily.
"Well, you are one son of a bitch."
"Sakura," he pleads.
"Don't you dare talk me out of this Uchiha!" do I run? Do I stay? I am so mad, angry scalding tears spills down my cheeks, and I brush them furiously aside. What was I thinking? How can I possibly convince myself that he can wait? He's just a man Sakura, my subconscious blurted out. Give him a break. I turn my back to him..
Oh, that distraught look… I was so cruel… will he forgive me… will I forgive him? My thoughts are all haywire and jumbled, and bouncing off the inside of my skull. Gently, he pulls me into his arms, burying his nose in my hair, kissing my neck.
"Don't hate me," he breathes softly against my skin, his voice achingly sad. My heart clenches and releases a fresh new wave of silent sobbing. He continues to kiss me softly, but I remain aloof.
He just holds me, and very gradually, I relax and stop crying.
"You're right. I should let you go. I am no good for you."
Every single hair follicle on my body stands to attention, and the world falls away from me. Oh no.
"I don't want to go," I whisper. Shit. This is it. Tears swim in my eyes once again.
"I don't want you to go either," he whispers, his voice raw. He turns me around so we are now face to face.
"Then don't. Please. I'm begging you." I beg. The hell I care. I don't want this to end. I don't want "us" to end.
"I can forget everything. Let's forget that something like this happened. We'll start fresh; you and me."
"No," he breathes as if I've knocked the wind out of him. Oh no.
"You can't just forget things like this, Sakura. That's wrong."
"Wrong? Why's it wrong? I love you Sasuke! And I know you love me too!"
"It's not you Sakura, it's me."
"Oh for fucks sake, Sasuke—"
"I don't know if I love you anymore."
Holy fuck. This is really is it. This is what it boils down to – uncertainties – doubts – regrets.
"We'll never get past "that", will we?" I whisper.
He shakes his head bleakly. I close my eyes. I cannot bear to look at him.
"Well… I'd better go then," I murmur.
"No, don't go,"
End of Flashbacks
Sam Smith starts to sing a soothing melody and I drift slowly into my sleep. This is grief – the pain is indescribable… physical, mental… it's everywhere, seeping into the marrow of my bones. Grief.
'Yes, I do, I believe… that one day I will be… where I was right there… right next to you…'
'And it's hard… the days just seem so dark… the moon, the stars are nothing without
you…'
"Hey! Miss, are you okay?" someone is calling me. I can't open my eyes. My eyelids are too heavy. I tried to open them but I can't. It's too blurry; too foggy.
'Told me not to cry when you were gone… but the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too
Strong'
"Oh God, Miss please wake up!" Oh. Stop shaking me. I am alive you dumbass.
"Hello, 911…" I can see you now; straight jet black hair; over the shoulder length and in a low ponytail; shining onyx eyes.
"Sasuke?"
To be continued
Chapter III freshly baked! Will be uploading chapter IV soon; Sam Smith rocks!
Read and Reviews
Cariñiosa02