Chapter 3: Screams From The Inside

My feet feel numb when I walk past their body's.

I feel.

They do not. Not anymore.

I watch my last victim regaining consciousness. I give him a smile, it was supposed to comfort him. It should have told him that I was going to take away his pain, but first I will make him suffer worse than he could ever imagine.

Private.

He was the one who always told us to be good, to be nice. To give people a second chance.

Second.

Chance.

To.

Change.

Would he give me one? Do I deserve one? Would I do the same again? Yes. Yes I would. So that would mean that I don't need one. Even better. Private looked at me with wide eyes, fear written all over his face. I pick him up by his chest feathers and throw him to the ground, very cautiously, so that I would be sure that my toy would stay with me this time.

I jump upon his belly and hear him scream in pain. It's almost like an opera to me. I place myself right behind me and pick up his flipper. The penguin doesn't even defend himself. Stupid. I bend his flipper in ways normal flippers can't go. I reach the point where his bones come through his feathers, his blood streaming over my flippers too.

Funny.

It's very funny how you can train 3 penguins. Learn them almost everything you know, learning them to defend themselves. It's funny how they just lay there, motionless, waiting for their fate. It's funny and stupid at the same time. That's why I had to be the leader. Those three needed me. I was the only reason that they stayed alive.

I grab a hand full of feathers and pull them out. I smile at the sight of blood pouring out of the newly created holes. Small streams of dark red blood dirty his snow-white and properly groomed feathers. He gasps when I move on to his other flipper. I gave it almost the same treatment as the first one, only I made sure to dislocate it first. My toy is fading away before my eyes.

I pick him up by both his hurt, bleeding flippers and swing him around. I let him go and he flies through the HQ once more. He became too weak to scream.

Scream.

Something was screaming inside of me. Trying to stop me. But I ignore it. How can I possibly give up this fun game? I look into Private's eyes, filled with tears, fear, pain and disbelief. They scream for help but his beak is kept shut.

I gather all my strength and punch him right into his left eye. His other eye widened in shock. But I soon punch him even harder into his right eye. He's unable to see me now, making it a surprise for him which part of his body is next to be attacked.

Attacks.

How many have I already endured for them? Because of their stupid mistakes? I don't even begin to count the times, but move on with destroying the penguin in front of me.

"You may break my body, but you'll never break my soul."

So the little penguin is becoming heroic? I laugh loudly. "Think again, Private! I already broke your soul!" I turn the little penguin on his back. I softly touch him, trying to give him a misplaced feeling of comfort before raping him apart.

STOP.

The voice inside of me grows louder and louder. Why now? I take a step back from the little penguin who is laying shivering on the ground. I watch my own flippers. Blood. Theirs, not mine. Too late, I hear Private give a last moan, see him taking his last breath. Maybe I was a bit over excited by the throwing to the wall part. Who knows?

Knowledge.

He was always the one who knew the most. Kowalski…

Weapons.

He was always ready to rush himself blindly into danger. Rico…

Friendship.

He was always the one who bind them, kept them together. Private…

I.

I was their leader, I told them what to do. I was the one who had to keep them save, protect them. I can't believe what I've done. Why did I do it in the first place? This is not right.
Darkness evolves in my mind, I am not myself. Help… Help me… Private. Rico. Kowalski. Help!

I lean against the wall and look at the bodies of what once were my friends, my team.

Wrong.

Something is horribly wrong. But what?

Reality.

The reality of shadows. They are behind me, in front of me, everywhere. You can't find a shadow. You can't fight the reality. You can't fight the dead. You can't fight against your own mind. Life is a losing battle, leaving everything what once was in a complete shadow.

Shadows, they are everywhere, I see it now. No one is ever safe from them. They will grow and grow into a new reality.

The reality of shadows.

A reality full of secrets.