Thanks again for your nice reviews and PMs

xxxxx

Sam poked his head into the living room and was gratified to see that Callen looked to be peacefully asleep. He headed into the kitchen and had just poured a cup of coffee when his cell phone buzzed and Hetty's name came up over the caller ID.

"Good morning, Mr. Hanna," Hetty's voice echoed cheerfully over Sam's phone. "How are things going this morning?"

Sam shrugged before realizing she couldn't see him. "Everything is okay right now," he replied, careful to keep his voice down. "G is sleeping."

"Good, good," Hetty said approvingly. "Best thing for him. Was he able to sleep through the night?"

"Some nightmares," Sam answered evasively. He was unsure how much information he should be divulging to their diminutive boss. He didn't want to betray his partner.

"Well that's certainly not unusual," Hetty said. "We'll just have to see how he does. Are you planning on coming in today?"

"Um…I don't know," Sam replied. "I guess so."

Hetty heard the uncertainty in Sam's voice. "See how things go, Mr. Hanna and proceed accordingly. I have no problem with you spending the day with Mr. Callen if you feel he needs you."

"What if G wants to come in to work?" Sam asked. He knew he didn't want to be the one to tell his partner he wasn't cleared for duty if that was Hetty's decision. He also didn't think Callen would be open to talking with a professional any time soon after what had transpired with Nate. He couldn't say he blamed him. It wouldn't be easy to trust anyone after what had happened.

"Don't try to stop him, Sam. He can come in if he wants and then I will be able to evaluate him first hand."

"Okay, Hetty. I'll either touch base or see you later."

"Take care, Mr. Hanna."

No sooner had Sam clicked off his phone when he heard Callen's distressed voice in the living room. "No, don't. Let me go. Can't breathe." Sam rushed into the living room to find his partner gasping as he twisted and turned in the throes of yet another nightmare.

"G!" Sam bent down and grasped his partner by his shoulders. "Come on, G. Wake up."

"Let me go." Sam's action only seemed to cause Callen to struggle harder.

Sam tried to keep his voice calm and even as he spoke. "G…You're dreaming. Come on, buddy. Everything's okay."

Finally, Callen opened his eyes and he stared up at Sam in confusion. "Sam?"

"You good, G?" Sam asked, looking down at him with concern. He let go of Callen and watched as his partner slowly sat up and moved his legs off the sofa so that his feet rested on the floor. Sam took that as an invitation and sat down beside him.

"You good?" Sam repeated when Callen remained silent.

"I really don't know," Callen admitted. He bent down, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together as he stared down at the floor.

"You want to talk about it?" Sam asked gently.

"It's just more variations of the same thing," Callen said. "Under water, can't breathe, can't escape, blah, blah, blah." He shook his head, disgusted with himself. "God… you must think I'm pathetic. "

"You know better than that. I do NOT think you're pathetic. I would never think that. You've gone through a traumatic experience. What you're feeling is entirely normal."

Callen sighed. "It's not normal for me."

Sam chuckled. "It's not normal for you to be human? You can't always be Superman, G."

"I don't think I'm Superman, Sam," Callen protested halfheartedly. "I just…I don't like feeling like this."

"I know you don't…hopefully it won't be for much longer." Sam didn't think all of this would be miraculously erased once the drug was out of Callen's system, but with any luck, he'd be feeling a lot better.

The two men lapsed into silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Sam, once again, wondering how he could help his friend and Callen only wanting to get back to normal and forget everything that had happened since the previous day.

xxxxx

"I'm not afraid of water, you know…" Callen stated after a short time, his voice very soft as he spoke.

"Wouldn't matter if you were, G. Lots of people are." In all honesty though, Sam had never seen any signs of Callen having fear of the water. Hell, he'd been practically giddy when they had been trapped in the submarine and forced to escape by swimming to the ocean's surface. Sam watched his partner closely, patiently waiting to see if he was going to open up.

"I know, but… that's not it…" Callen shuddered involuntarily. He kept thinking about his nose and mouth filling up with water instead of air and he was unable to shake the memories of when he had almost drowned as a child. Nate's actions had brought him back in time… back to a memory he had buried way down deep, something he hadn't thought about in years, something he had almost completely forgotten about. Now he could recall it all, as sharp and as clear as if it had only happened yesterday. "It's the worst feeling, Sam… being helpless like that. There's nothing you can do…no way to escape…"

Sam's eyes were filled with sympathy as he reached out and squeezed Callen's shoulder supportively. Callen managed a slight smile in acknowledgement of his partner's gesture.

"I was seven or eight years old," Callen was so immersed in the memories, he hardly noticed that he was relaying his story out loud. "Lived with the Bensons. They had a son, Pete and then they took in foster kids…I guess it was to supplement their income. It definitely wasn't out of any desire to nurture children." Callen sighed heavily before continuing. "Anyhow, it was during summer vacation. I was the only kid there at the time. Pete was 14 and was forced to babysit me. Let's just say he was less than enthused. They had a pool, but I wasn't allowed to use it, even when the parents were home. Pete used to gloat about it saying that fosters weren't good enough to use their pool, that we'd contaminate it…"

It wasn't the first time Sam was upset when learning nuggets of Callen's past. He knew it was good for Callen to talk about these things on the rare occasions that he chose to open up. Sam just hated the fact that Callen's early years had been so miserable. He wished his partner had been lucky enough to have a loving family and the kind of childhood every child deserved.

"It was a really hot day. Pete was off who knows where. He wasn't exactly the world's best babysitter. I pretty much fended for myself. Lots of messy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." He hadn't been allowed to have any of the deli meats in the refrigerator. The family rules had been very specific about what he could and could not eat. No chips, no cookies, no ice cream… "Anyhow, it was just so hot that day…The pool was so tempting…" He vividly recalled how badly he had wanted to submerge himself in the coolness of the water. It had looked like paradise to him. " I figured no one would know if I went in there, just for a few minutes…"

Sam could feel his heartbeat quicken as he waited for Callen to continue, knowing this story would not be a happy one.

"I never even heard him, Sam." Callen's voice cracked slightly and his rate of breathing increased as he remembered. "Next thing I knew Pete had grabbed me and pulled me underneath the water. I tried to get away from him but he was so much bigger than I was. He pinned my arms to my sides, held me down…I never really had a chance."

"What the hell," Sam muttered. Sometimes he wondered how G had ever gotten through his childhood. It was no wonder he had a hard time trusting people. He'd been betrayed so many times in his life.

"I couldn't get away and I couldn't hold my breath anymore. I just started taking in water. It was horrible. I was terrified. I really thought I was going to die. Finally, I just blacked out. That's what yesterday felt like…I just…I panicked. I couldn't help it…it felt the same…taking in water…no escape…" His body was shaking now, his mind totally overwhelmed with his memories of the past.

Not knowing what else to do, Sam pulled his partner into a hug, feeling Callen trembling in his arms. "You're okay, G…you're safe now. Pete can't hurt you anymore…" Finally, the tremors decreased and Callen appeared to be calmer. Sam released him from his grasp and quietly spoke "You okay?"

"Yeah…yeah, I'm okay," said Callen, nodding slowly.

"So… what happened…who saved you back then?" Sam was pretty sure it hadn't been Pete. The kid sounded like a real piece of work. He wondered if he was in prison now. It seemed like a safe bet that he was.

Callen took a deep breath and then resumed his story. "I guess Pete got scared when I was lying unconscious in the pool. Apparently, he screamed for help. The next door neighbor came over and managed to resuscitate me. Paramedics came…it was a whole big scene. It was probably the most exciting thing to happen in our neighborhood that whole summer."

"I'm guessing you never told anyone what really happened." It was a statement, not a question. Sam was almost a hundred percent certain that Callen had never reported any of the brutality he had suffered.

Callen shook his head. "Pete told me if I breathed a word to anyone, I wouldn't wake up next time."

"Nice kid," Sam said, clearly disgusted by the whole situation. "Did his parents at least feel bad about what happened?"

"The neighbor's wife, Mrs. Granderson, she brought me some homemade chocolate chip cookies. They were really good," Callen answered, evading the question about Pete's parents. He remembered he had actually gotten to keep the cookies, which had been a big treat for him. No one had witnessed her give them to him. Overall, it had been a pretty nice neighborhood. It would have been great if he had lived with the Grandersons rather than the Bensons.

"His parents, G…" Sam asked again, in spite of the fact that he knew he wouldn't like the answer to the question.

Callen smirked halfheartedly. "Well, as you can imagine they weren't very happy. They didn't like being the talk of the neighborhood. They definitely didn't like that I had gone against their rules and went in the pool. I got a beating that night I didn't forget for a long time…"

"I don't know how people like that ever get to become foster parents," Sam commented sadly, shuddering inwardly. "I'm sorry G…"

"Its okay, Sam," Callen said, meeting his partner's eyes. "It was a long time ago. What happened yesterday just brought it back unexpectedly."

Sam shook his head. "It wouldn't have been brought back to you if I'd figured out a way to have your back…or if they had taken me instead..."

It finally dawned on Callen that Sam wasn't just feeling ordinary concern over Callen's childhood and what he had gone through the previous day. He was feeling guilty about it. "Sam…" Callen began, "Please don't tell me you're blaming yourself for this. It wasn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could have done. Nate wanted me."

"Even so, G…"

"No, Sam," Callen interrupted adamantly. "If he had decided to take you, I couldn't have stopped it either. It was out of our control. Please don't blame yourself. Anyhow, you and Deeks…you've both paid more than your fair share of dues…It was just my turn…" he ended with a shrug.

"What?" Sam's eyes narrowed as Callen's words sank in. "Your turn? What are you talking about? We don't take turns G…"

"I know that, Sam," Callen said with a sigh. "I'm just saying that I would never have wanted you to go through that kind of thing again. If it had to be one of us, I'm glad it was me. I deserved it." The last three words were only a whisper but Sam heard them clear as a bell.

"You did not deserve it, G…you've never deserved any of the things that have happened to you. None of them. Do you hear me?" he asked, his voice rising with every word.

"Yeah, I hear you, Sam," Callen said with a smirk. "I think everyone in your neighborhood did."

"Good," Sam said with a smile. "But I don't care about everyone else, just as long as you heard me."

Callen nodded. "I did. I heard you, Sam…loud and clear."

xxxxx

One more chapter to go. Next one will have some Kensi and Deeks as well