When it was all said and done, Padmé was ultimately grateful that Rex came to stand beside her offering support because in that moment she felt the floor tilt beneath her feet. From the instant he started to explain, she experienced every dreadful emotion the human heart could know, every horrific sensation too horrible to label because they were normally reserved for nightmare images that only the most terrified mind could devise. She could not make her own mind comprehend the words of the Order which Rex relayed to her.
Why?
Why would there even be the need for a command issued in the event of the Jedi acting against the Republic?
And, with lethal force?
Against the Jedi?
By the very men they had fought beside for so many days, months, years?
"How..?"
Her mouth formed the word but no sound came. She wanted to ask the clone standing before her how these men could follow such an order so blindly. How could they murder those who fought beside them, protected and died for them? How could they believe that the Jedi would ever act against the very institution that countless of their kind had protected for immeasurable years? Padme' could form no sound however, because Rex continued speaking, and what he said brought further grief to her heart; unconscionable anguish and terror.
Anakin was leading the 501st.
Anakin.
No.
No.
This could not be.
Who then created this elaborate scheme to try and deceive her?
Who ordered this clone to torment her with his words of deception..?
She was clutching his arm before she was even aware of performing the act. Padme' took one step back, letting her arm fall numbly to her side as she stared up at Rex. "No," she whispered, shaking her head as she continued to step away. "Why? Why would you do this? It..it can't be."
She stared up into his eyes, searching for that slight flicker of dishonesty she had learned to read in others gleaned through political experience, but she saw none; only sorrow, regret and a mixture of other raw emotions which she could not name.
How could he know?
How could he stand there and calmly inform her that the one being she loved more than life itself was destroying everything he had, they had, believed in and fought so hard to preserve?
How could he know that his words had crushed her soul, taking something from her that could never be restored? How could he know that the tears which rained down her cheeks were not for herself but for Anakin; for all the Jedi who had been and were being destroyed? How could the universe survive without them? How could she survive without him?
"I…"
Her hand flew to her mouth as Padme' abruptly rushed towards the refresher. She made it just in time. Falling to her knees, she bent her head over the toilet and retched all the venomous poison from her soul.
Anakin..
Anakin..
She shut her eyes briefly and whispered his name. She would have given up anything, everything to have him beside her in that moment; to erase Rex's words from her mind; to pretend those words never existed. It was then that the captain's concluding remarks found their way through the haziness which had enveloped her mind, creeping past the shock and fear which had gripped her heart. She was the only one who could break through the veil of darkness which had surrounded Anakin. If only he would listen.
Padmé slowly came to her feet and quickly splashed cold water on her face. There was no time, no time to waste. She felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, and truly that was where it rested. She had to be strong; stronger than she could have imagined possible.
The senator forced herself to re-enter the living area. She was thankful for Rex, but she knew that she would always hate the sight of that face; so many, all of them the same, murdering all that was virtuous in the galaxy. She did not question him as to why he had disobeyed the order. She felt that she knew and besides it didn't matter now. All that mattered was getting to Anakin and stopping him somehow. Her heart grew cold as she wondered if her love was strong enough to defeat the darkness.
"Take me there," was all she managed as the two exited the apartment.
...
The pain and hate bubbled inside of his body causing his vision to cloud. Anakin didn't even feel as though he was connected with his body anymore, he was merely an outside spectator to what the hate inside of him was carrying out inside the Jedi temple. The blade of his lightsaber whirled and slashed under the power of the hate cutting a path through the Jedi who were resisting.
It had to be the hate and not him. He needed it to be the hate. To think that his two hands were capable of the carnage he saw all around him was hard to come to terms with inside his mind. But he was doing it for Padme and no one else. He would make sure she was safe, no matter the cost.
As he savagely cut down all those in front of him, he remembered where he had last seen them. Maybe they had passed him in the great hall or somewhere else inside of the temple, never suspecting that when the time came, one of their own (the chosen one) would strike them down where they stood. The hate smiled inside his chest where his heart should be. It was happy.
Anakin turned a corner and trotted down yet another hall, following the 501st men as they continued trying to use their blasters to take down the Jedi. They got in a few lucky shots, but Anakin was the bringer of death to the all those who dwelt in the temple. He called out for one of the younger Jedi running from him and as he soared high into the air to intercept the teen, a smiled curled around his lips. He was powerful.
It was true. The hate fed the fire of strength inside of his body. Every muscle worked together to give him the optimal results. It felt good to know that his body would respond in the best possible manner. As his feet hit the smooth marble floor soundlessly, his lightsaber was up and spinning, chopping off first the right hand and then the left of the teen. Anakin noted the pain and hate in the child's eyes, but smiled arrogantly. "Don't worry," Anakin said smugly. "I hear it doesn't hurt at all."
In one fell swoop, Anakin brought his lightsaber up and cleaved the child's head in two, smiling the whole time.
Anakin followed the 501st on, but was disheartened that he hadn't seen Rex among the group he had amassed to assault the temple. Where could his captain be at this hour? Something didn't sit right with Anakin. Rex was not known to be absent for a mission. Maybe he had been killed already. Or maybe he was walking a path of betrayal. The rage surged inside of Anakin. He was probably with her. Jealousy colored his eye sight a red hue. Rex had helped them keep their secret and now he was keeping his own secret. How dare he touch what Anakin had given all of his being to protect. Rex would pay…