Fitz walked into the apartment and took a look around as she closed the door. Nothing had changed in the apartment since his last visit. Everything was where it should have been. He turned around and they stared at each other for several minutes before Olivia broke the silence.
"What are we talking about?"
"I think we need to discuss everything. Go back to the beginning and have it out. Right here, right now. But only if you are sober. I won't have a true conversation with you if you are drunk or even tipsy."
Olivia was sort of offended. "I have one glass of wine a night like I have for years. Are you drunk? Is that why you're here? You're drunk and need someone to chat with?"
"I haven't had a drink in several months. I came here because we need to discuss things. We have a lot of unfinished business. I don't know about you, but I need some sort of closure. I have to know where we stand. I thought we were done, over. You weren't there a year ago but you never said goodbye or tell me anything so I am not sure where we stand."
Liv moved over to the couch and turned on the lights on either side. "How far back do you want to go?"
Fitz followed her lead and sat at the other end of the couch with his knee up on the couch looking at her. "All the way back to when we met."
"That's going to get you closure? I don't know how that will go over. But if that's what you want to do, we can. So when we met… What about it?"
"You told me everything that was wrong with my marriage, you knew everything that was wrong. I didn't even know what was wrong. And then I fired you."
"Yeah?"
"I think you still hold that against me. Do you?"
"You tried to fire me. Cyrus wouldn't let you. He knew I was the best, and it just took you some time to find out that I was. I know why you tried to fire me and I know why you couldn't. I don't hold it against you. I don't hold a grudge on that. Next topic?"
Fitz slid his shoes off and under the table getting comfortable. "You resent me for going back to Mellie all the time." It wasn't a question.
"I did before. But I knew that you had to. I'm sure that you resent me for a million different things. I can take all of it too. You were married to Mellie then. It had to be that way. I was the mistress that is all there was to it. I could have stopped at any time but I didn't want to. I take blame for that. You and Mellie were supposed to be playing happy to get to the White House. I helped ruin that."
"You know I hate it when you use that word."
Liv could see that Fitz had tensed up when she said the m word. "There's no other word for it. I was a mistress. I fell in love, slept with, kissed, screwed, and anything else with a man I knew was married. I should have stopped it."
"We tried to stop a hundred times. Remember? We couldn't help it. We love each other too much to be apart. And again, you're the love of my life. You're my one and only. My other half. I don't like the other word you use."
"Fine, what else you got?"
"The first night in Georgia. Why didn't you go in your room?"
"Seriously?"
"I've thought about that night a thousand times. That was the night that we actually started a relationship. And we could have been done if you didn't go with me. I told you to go in your room and we'd pretend it never happened."
"But it was too late. We already happened. I'm pretty sure that we started the second you tried to fire me. It just took a while for us to realize we did. I went in your room because it's where I wanted to be. I can't help that I love you or that we breathe in sync. Which by the way, people have noticed. I went in there because I wanted to be with you. It's why I've been the mistress. If I had just walked in my room and let you go to yours this would all have been avoided. I knew you were married and I didn't listen to my head telling me to walk away."
Fitz moved his hand on the back of the couch closer to her, their fingertips barely touching. "It's not all your fault. It's not a one way street. I could have said goodnight and go to my room. That night was something we both wanted. What about the elevator, when Big Jerry was there?"
"You were upset, pissed at him. And drunk. I'm glad that only Mellie caught us in there like that and that she understood. Your father was pissing you off and you took a stress reliever in the form of Scotch."
"Yeah, but I should have handled that better."
"Yes but you didn't. Next subject?"
"You were pissed when I brought Mellie with me to your cabin at Camp David that weekend."
Olivia chuckled and folded her arms across her chest. "And?"
"I didn't have a choice. She asked to come with me, what was I supposed to say?"
"That's fine. I understood why she was there. I wasn't happy that she was but I know why she was there. Are these going to be little conversations or are we going to get to something bigger soon? You do have a job to do, remember? Running the country is your responsibility at the White House. You'll need plenty of sleep to do that."
"You left me at the alone. Why, Liv?"