It has now been four years since Meredith left Seattle, but she will be heading back for her friends wedding. Most of this chapter is a flashback, has will be the next two. Enjoy!

4 years later

Mer is planning to go back to Seattle for Alex and Izzie wedding, she knows that it was time to face everyone, the last 4 years has been hard on her, but worth it. When she arrived in London, she went and stayed with an old college friend Lucy, who was doing her residency in London, and she managed to get Mer into their program, so she wouldn't lose everything that she worked so hard for. It wasn't Seattle Grace but it was a good program. The hospital in London was different from Seattle but it was exactly what she wanted. She got herself a counsellor, and started therapy so she could start working on her problems, and she realised that if she had done this sooner, that she and Derek would have probably been okay. Derek occupied her thoughts everyday; she even called him a few times, just to hear his voice. When he realised it was her, she stopped ringing. She had been in London two months, when she discovered that she was pregnant with Derek's baby, she knew that she had to keep his baby; it was her last connection with him, even if he didn't know it. Lucy was her rock through all of this; she attended every scan, every antenatal class and was her birthing partner. It was at 3:05 one rainy Sunday morning in December, when Sophie Ellis Grey-Shepherd entered the world. She was the spitting image of her father, with a mass of blonde curls and her father's eyes. In that moment, she missed him so much, that he should have been there by her side when their daughter entered the world. He had to know about his daughter, she had to find away to tell him, she wasn't ready to him, but she couldn't deny him the right to see his daughter. She couldn't call him or talk him, so she decided to e-mail him; she got Lucy to do it for her.

Flashback

To: DShepherdMDSeattleGrace
From:
RE: Meredith
Attachments:

Hello Dr Shepherd,

I am a friend of Meredith's, she asked me to contact you to tell you that you have a daughter Sophie Ellis Grey-Shepherd born December 5; weighing 6lbs 12oz. I have attached several photos for you. Meredith wants to say that she is sorry that you had to find out this way, but she wanted you to know that you are a father; she is not ready to talk to you yet. If you want to know anything about Sophie, please feel free to contact me and I will give you what information you want, but Mer has asked you to not ask any question about her or where they are at this time. She will contact you herself when she is ready.

L Mitchell

To:
From: DShepherdMDSeattleGrace
RE: Daughter

I was shocked to receive your e-mail, I was not expecting for you to tell that I had a daughter, I wish Mer would have told me, tell her I am very sorry about what happened that day, she know what I am talking about. I will honour her wishes for now, please do keep up to date on Sophie, I just wish I was there with them, like I should be. Tell Mer she is a beautiful little girl, just like her mom. Please keep sending me photos of Sophie and tell Mer I love them both so very much. I hope to be able to see her soon. Tell her everyone here at Seattle Grace misses her and hopes that she comes home soon.

Thanks

Derek

Mer knew that once he knew that she would hear from him daily, she kept sending him pictures of Sophie; she knew that he would want to meet her, and that it was only a matter time before he would ask. When he did two months later, she was expecting it and after discussing it with her therapist, who concluded that it might do her some good to see him finally, since it had been a year. She was terrified at the thought of seeing him again, her heart ached for him constantly, he was the only person she saw when she closed her eyes. She had to do this for her daughter, she felt guilty that she had kept her away from her father. She arranged to meet him in New York; she just hoped that it would go well, she asked Lucy to go with her.