Chapter 2 - Only Pain Remains Standing
"Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd: but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed: but won't you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me" - Superman (Five for Fighting)
Darkness could not retain her hold on her prize as Obi-Wan slowly regained consciousness. He was lying on something soft and comforting. Gradually, he became aware that the claxons surrounding him were not just in his head but the dying ship's imminent death calls. Another jerk reminded him where he was and he quickly sat up, wincing at the agony in his side. He had also recalled what he had said to his captain, friend and guardian. And if he were to keep that promise he needed to survive the death throws of this ravaged vessel. Someone came up beside him, but he tried to ignore her as he gathered his strength to leave. "Who are you? And how did you know my name?"
Shooting a glance toward Siri, he stated, "I have to get to the bridge." Forcing his protesting body to rise he headed out the door.
Behind him he heard the Jedi Councilor instruct, "Stay here and take care of the initiates, I'll be back." Adi swiftly followed the receding form, and came up beside him. Periodically his step would falter under the objection of his wound but he refused to allow weakness to claim him again. They made their way through the bucking ship, holding on to walls intermittently when the ship shook violently. The corridors were ominously empty which made their walk that much more oppressive and condemning. Despite her usual denouement, Adi could no longer stand the silence between them, "We found your training saber. Where did you get it?" When she received no answer, she asked bluntly, "Who are you?"
Hesitating for a moment, Obi-Wan glanced at her through his bangs, "No one." Relief washed through him as they reached the forward cabin. When they entered, they quickly swept the scene. The captain was struggling with the controls as the Jedi Master was attending to the co-pilot, who was lying on the floor. As soon as they entered Qui-Gon turned to greet them, a thread of shock wove through his features at the unwelcome visitor, but he dealt with it immediately.
Walking past the kneeling Master, Obi-Wan headed for the vacant chair and surveyed the mess of controls in front of him. Automatically, he asked, "Is there a habitable planet close enough for us to land?"
"I'm heading for one now, but I'm not sure the ship will make it. Systems are failing all over and we're down to the aft engines." Called the frantic Captain.
Assessing the alerts, Obi-Wan quickly ran through his options. Expertly adjusting the instrumentation he said, "Give me the controls. I'll get us down." The captain looked at him incredulously, but noticed the set fortitude in the youthful features. Suddenly, the bulk of the ship responded to Obi-Wan's directions. Transferring power from non-essential functions, Obi-Wan managed to salvage enough energy to boost power to the remaining engines and forward shields.
Agony threatened to steal his consciousness, which he fought desperately to hold at bay. The black spots playing at the edge of his vision teased his weary mind, when he felt a surge in the Force behind him. At first he was unsure as to it's purpose, but was surprised to find it fill him lovingly, pushing away the aches and darkness. With renewed intensity, he headed for the habitable planet the Captain had indicated as their destination. For a moment he paused in his action as he recognized the small moon orbiting the world they limped toward and in that moment he smiled before banishing the emotion.
Qui-Gon had watched as the rogue entered into the forward cabin with his fellow Jedi. He had already sensed the Councilwoman's approach but it bothered him deeply that he had not sensed the youth. Dismayed by this revelation, he could not hide the confusion from his features at the boy's entrance. Admonishing himself for such failings, Qui-Gon directed all of his attention toward the strange human. His curiosity regarding the bewildering pirate was only matched by his desire to get everyone to safety on this perilous journey. He knew he was not capable of flying the ship himself, but he also knew they needed help in order to land in one piece. A sensation through the Force told him their best option was the aforementioned thief who struggled with the controls and his afflictions.
The ginger haired corsair danced his hands across the switches and dials, some of his fingers painted them red, making adjustments. The confidence in the young voice persuaded the Captain to relinquish the controls to this ruffian who had so recently threatened them. Now the boy was striving to save the moribund vessel despite his own ebbing strength. Qui-Gon could sense the pain emanating from the youth as well as the determination, but an injured body can only last so long no matter how obstinate. The Jedi Knight turned to his associate, who had been just as enthralled and captivated by this newcomer as he was, and glanced at her inquisitively. She noticed his glare and they communicated non-verbally.
Agreeing almost immediately, the two Jedi called upon the Force to re- direct it into the privateer. In response to their efforts, they could feel the youth drinking up the power hungrily. Continuing to channel, the Jedi watched the boy navigate through the expanse toward their oasis. As they passed a small moon, Qui-Gon noticed a saddened grin cross the young man's face before it was quickly withdrawn.
With precision brought on by extreme concentration, Obi-Wan flew efficiently through space. "You better have your Padawans take care of those initiates, this is going to be a bumpy ride," he had strained to give them some warning before entering the atmosphere.
"Tahl and the others are prepared," Qui-Gon and Adi affirmed simultaneously. Risking a glance, Obi-Wan gazed over his shoulder at the waiting Jedi. Deciding now was not the time to ponder their position he returned his focus to the monumental task set before him.
A jarring shudder almost knocked the Jedi from their feet, as the ship entered the outer ionosphere. Alerts and claxons sounded all around the group as Obi-Wan grappled with the controls. The others could only watch and pray as the boy guided the craft through the different layers of air. Soon they soared above an abundant forest, as the Jedi and the Captain began searching for a clearing to land in.
"Can't keep it up. Have to land now," the boy announced through gritted teeth. He could already feel the trees scraping at the bottom hull of the ship. Fearing that the craft might be torn apart if they landed now, Obi- Wan prayed that a clearing could be found quickly.
Suddenly, from behind him, he heard the tall Jedi shout, "There." Glancing over his shoulder he followed the length of the Knight's outstretched arm to see a meadow toward his right.
Hastily, he bade the ship to heed his commands to land in the field just large enough to cradle them. Fighting desperately with the craft, he could barely retain the altitude they needed. Silently, he pleaded with the Force to allow them to land safely. The trees loomed ever closer as they tore at the underbelly of the ship. Catching and hitching on the fingers of the planet the craft descended. As the helping hands of the forest gave way to the meadow, the cruiser plummeted.
Colliding into the earth, the occupants tossed inside their confines. A violent lurch thrust Obi-Wan into the arm rest eliciting a cry from the youth. Ignoring the agony in his body, he held on tightly to the helm hoping to control their wayward landing. Skidding across the green field, they finally halted at the other end of the clearing. For a few moments no one moved as they waited to make sure their journey was over.
The Jedi had braced themselves against the walls and were the first to recover in the bridge. Qui-Gon stepped closer to the viewportal to scan their surroundings. Beside him, he could feel the dazed youth collecting his wits. He watched as the boy surveyed the grounds and then rose slowly. A shaky hand came up to wipe away the sweat on his brow. The urge to help the young man filled his being yet Qui-Gon could not fathom the need he felt to do so.
"We should go and assess the damage," Obi-Wan spoke slowly and deliberately in order to hide the pain and weariness that crept through him. The Force slowly drained from him and his adrenaline was completely spent. The corsair wavered as he turned to leave the bridge, the hand that swept his brow clung to the back of the chair to steady himself. The solid frame of Qui-Gon blocked his path and his gaze drifted up to meet cerulean eyes.
Qui-Gon almost took a step back when the turbulent oceans stared up at him. The rolling seas spoke volumes, inviting one to share the emotions swirling within. He remembered those eyes. They had watched him, haunted him, in his dreams, nightmares and meditations. In the same instant he had loved and hated those eyes. Not so long ago he had seen them, before he thought them lost to him forever. Now Qui-Gon could see his damnation and redemption floating on the blue-green waves. His own raging sentiments coursed through him. And the soft green-blue windows to the soul were confused for a moment before they became unfocused. Tired eyes began to close as the Master stepped forward to catch the youth. Daring to believe what he wished were true with all his heart, Qui-Gon whispered but one word. "Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan knew the moment their eyes locked that this was the purpose for letting his ginger strands flow freely. Yet he had not realize that his earlier actions had brushed aside the silken bangs shielding his eyes. Now as they were drawn into each other's gazes, Obi-Wan could see the confusion intensify in the Jedi Master and then completely vanish. Suddenly, he knew that recognition of who he was caused the immediate clarity. And as the demon spots of night danced across his vision he tried vainly to read the emotions in the man who had rejected him so long ago. Amazed at what he saw, he could scarcely believe it. Instead of anger or further betrayal, he found joy and hope. Baffled by the display, Obi-Wan could not keep up with his battle to remain conscious. Quietly, he felt Darkness' call, and as he finally accepted it he heard what he feared the most, his own name. The Jedi Knight, Qui-Gon Jinn, had indeed recognized him. Unable to protest, unconsciousness claimed him.
The strong arms of Qui-Gon caught the youth gently. His confused elation left him holding the boy in a strange hug, before he tenderly gathered Obi- Wan up in his arms. Leaning on the Knight's chest Obi-Wan looked so young and innocent in his eyes. He turned to the commander, who was now checking on his co-pilot, "Take care of your crew, Captain. We will care for our own." He motioned to Adi and they exited the bridge.
As soon as they were alone, Adi voiced her concern, "You know who he is? Can you be so sure?"
For a moment they walked in silence as the Knight composed his answer, "Yes. I thought I had lost him all those years ago. Now, now, by the Force's will I have him back, Adi."
"You believe the Force has brought you together?" She raised an eyebrow in questioning.
At that Qui-Gon paused his trek to look at her. "When Yoda first came to me I was still not over Xanatos. And in some ways, I don't know if I will ever be. Yoda kept prompting me to take him, but I ignored both him and the Force. I have been haunted by that decision ever since." Unconsciously, he pulled Obi-Wan in closer to him. "Adi, the Force has given me a second chance to redeem myself. I will not ignore its will a second time."
"If it is the Force's will, you must be patient. It might not be for what you think it is." The Councilor was playing her role. She had to consider all options and see things from an outside perspective, regardless of what she felt.
Qui-Gon wanted to continue the debate, and would have if they had not reached their quarters. Instead, he directed his concentration on helping his lost charge. As they entered the cabin, he saw Bant tending to the wound on Tahl's arm. She glanced up at him perplexed by his burden. The look in his eyes told her that they would need to talk extensively about what had transpired.
Swiftly, he moved past them and laid the injured pirate on the bed. He brushed the hair from the boy's face and began to pull back his coat. Dark crimson overpowered the soft mint tunic. Stretching out with his senses he noted the blaster wound that scorched the boy's ribs. It was not life threatening in itself, but left unattended could escalate the problem. It was obvious Obi-Wan had lost a good amount of blood, although, Qui-Gon could sense the Force already at work on the wound. Tahl had come to stand behind her friend, "I'll get you some water to cleanse the wound."
Finished attending to her Master, Bant stood on the other side of the bed. Vexed by the object of Qui-Gon's attention, the Padawan moved closer to the prone figure. Her gentle gaze fell upon the still features of his face and in an instant the world stopped. She could not draw air into her lungs, her heart fluttered, and her mind buzzed with the possibilities. The voice that escaped her was no louder than that of a hushed whisper, "Obi-Wan."
Qui-Gon glanced up at the young Calamarian when he heard her speak. Tears formed at the rims of her silver eyes and a hand came to hover at the edge of her lips. Slowly, she fell to her knees but could not tear her gaze from her lost friend. When Tahl re-entered she felt the distress of her apprentice and knelt down next to her. She handed the bowl and cloth to dress the wound to Qui-Gon, but found the young girl taking them from her. Pushing back the shock, Bant set herself to the task of taking care of his injury, as she had so many times before.
With utmost care the trio diligently removed his shirt and wrapped his wound, washing away the blood and sweat. Just as they were finishing their work, a soft moan escaped their patient. A hand reached up to rub his forehead and his eyes fluttered open. Qui-Gon quickly assured, "You are safe. We have tended to your injury, but you should take it easy."
Obi-Wan stared up at the blank ceiling. He did not know what to think let alone say. So he said nothing, but listened to his surroundings. He craved for the ability to drift back into the sweet abyss of nothingness, only now it was no longer an option for him. He was alert and would have to face the demons of his past head on. The reticence in the room clung to everything as they sat waiting for someone or thing to tear through it. Bearing the burden of such a weight, Qui-Gon spoke, "There is something I must ask you," breathing deeply he continued, "Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi?" In all truth he knew the answer, it was more for Adi's benefit he asked the question. Still he found himself holding his breath in wait.
Fighting against the pain that clutched his heart, the boy closed his eyes. Such a simple question should not bear all the emotions that would occur in response to the inquiry. Yet despite what might happen, the youth could no more deny whom he was than stop breathing the air. So accepting a lungfull in he sighed before responding, "Yes."
A hitched cry could be heard from the Mon Calamarian at his confession. The girl lunged forward to fall across the chest of the boy, crying with both tears of joy and of pain. At her outburst Obi-Wan lost his battle to remain stoic and tears filled his eyes. His arm moved down to rap around his friend as she wept. No one spoke for some time, allowing the rolling emotions to take their course.
Finally, Obi-Wan patted the girl, telling her he wanted to sit up. She removed herself and knelt next to the bed. Qui-Gon was trying to find his own peace of mind as the possibilities of their reunion ran through his head. Tahl had moved to place a comforting hand on her life-long friend's shoulder. Adi watched from a distance concerned about what was going to happen next but delighted that they had found one of their lost children.
Gingerly, the boy sat up, wincing at his protesting side. Suddenly, his face changed from the melancholy visage to one that spoke of solid tenacity. Not wanting to deal with them any longer than he had to, Obi-Wan drove straight to the problem, "Have you checked out the damage?"
Taken aback by the abrupt change, Qui-Gon shook his head. "We wanted to attend to you first."
"It doesn't take 3 Jedi Masters and a Padawan to fix a blaster wound. You should have gone to assess our situation. We do not know the potential dangers of this planet, and we should not dilly-dally until we know the threats." The youth reprimanded their behaviour. Reaching for his shirt that hung on a nearby chair, he looked at it disgustedly. Despite its appearance, he refused to ask anything from the Jedi. Slowly he pulled the caked cloth over his form, and then sought out his jacket. Rising from the bed, he wavered a moment.
"What do you think you're doing?" Qui-Gon demanded of the boy.
"What do you think I'm doing? I'm going to do you're job." He found his trench draped over a different chair and went to retrieve it. "I don't know about you, but I want off this rock." Managing to get back into his tight coat, Obi-Wan headed for the door, only to be stopped by the composed Councilor.
"I think you should remain here," Adi stated. "You are correct, it is our duty to make sure there is no further danger to us before attempting repairs. However, since it was your group that forced us down here, I believe we need to determine if you are also a potential threat."
Looking at her in total denial, he argued, "If it weren't for me, we wouldn't be having this discussion. Now get out of my way."
Adi held her ground, "For that we thank you. But if you are Obi-Wan Kenobi, I would have expected better behaviour from a Jedi Student."
Rage bubbled over inside Obi-Wan at the remark. Approaching the woman he stood eye to eye, not even attempting to conceal his fury. "Listen, Master Jedi, the day I was sent off to Bandomeer was the last day that Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi lived. I may still bear the name, but I am no longer that person."
Coolly, she said, "Obviously."
"What would you have expected from one that was tossed out? Thrown to the melias? Did you really think that I would grovel back to you? What for? Tell me, what for? I had already dealt with one rejection. I didn't need to go through it again." Honestly, Obi-Wan hated his own reactions, but his mind and body were on a strange sort of autopilot, as if someone else was directing his responses. Adi remained motionless, watching his internal battle.
It was then that a small voice rose up behind him, "How could you forget *us*? We were your friends, despite what might have become of your life we cared about *you*. Not whether or not you were a Jedi. All we would have wanted to know was that you were alive and safe." Her voice hiccuped from the grief she felt. "We thought you were dead."
Obi-Wan did not want to face the pain in his friend that her words reflected. Instead he kept his back to her but allowed his gaze to drift from the Councilwoman. Quietly, he said, "I was." The silken ginger strands fell down around his face, covering up the troubled oceans. Even softer than before, he added, "I still am."
Bant could not stand the thought of what her friend had become anymore so she hurried from the room. For a moment Obi-Wan wanted to chase her, to comfort the one who had often done so for him. When they were initiates, he would find her waiting for him after a match with Bruck or another of his rivals. The kind hearted being that came to his room that last night with tear-filled eyes. The one being who seemed to give a damn about his fate when the Council decided to send him off to the Agricorps. And he treated her callously.
Biting back the bile, Obi-Wan wished he could take it all back. To tell her he had wanted to contact them at first, but when he knew it would make no difference he accepted what his life had become. Bant's Master followed her out, most likely to comfort her. Adi glanced back at Qui-Gon and then turned and left herself. Obi-Wan stood absolutely still even though he knew that it would not free him from facing the Knight. From behind he heard the quiet approach of the Jedi. "I think we should to talk."
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Well, I hope you all enjoyed that. It was a difficult chapter to write. Anyway, as per tradition, I am going down to my knees and clasping my hands in front of me, "Please, please, Review!! I beg of you. I want your feedback!! Please. Thank you."
Meggie - Thank you, I really appreciate it. And hopefully this is soon enough to keep those doggies leashed. And as forewarning, I was planning to update this once a week, so please be patient with me.
Cascadia - YEAH you updated!! But I'm still waiting to find out more. Please more soon. And thank you for the nice comments. I'm really glad you were able to feel for the Togorians, I wanted to convey that Obi is loved where he is and the choices he might be forced to make will be difficult.
Ewok Kid - Thank you!! I only begin the conflict here, the next post might be a bit more emotionally charged. Keep an eye out for it. : )
Heidi M - Yeah, I'm glad you like the Togorians. Someone had to take in Obi and I'm glad there was someone kind enough to nurture him. And Thank you.
Ciria - Bingo, you hit it. And thank you so much. : ) I really wanted to show that there was someone who cared for our Obi. He has so much trouble dealing with his on sense of unworthiness that I wanted there to be people that valued him.
Shan - Oh, you are still the best my dear. I'm just a hopeful. ; ) Hopefully, I'll be able to get you that reunion soon. It's been fun trying to write the conflict. : D And yeah, Disney was great. We were Jedi for halloween. And that was awesome! : D : D
Becky - ditto. I hope it keeps you on your toes. Thanks.
Liyanette - Thanks. I will do my best to update at least once a week. : )
Jedi_nayru - Thank You! Hope you continue to like it.
Padawan Kitara - Thanks for feeding my addiction. I can't seem to get enough of feedback. And like I've said, hopefully at least once a week. ; )
"Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd: but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed: but won't you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me" - Superman (Five for Fighting)
Darkness could not retain her hold on her prize as Obi-Wan slowly regained consciousness. He was lying on something soft and comforting. Gradually, he became aware that the claxons surrounding him were not just in his head but the dying ship's imminent death calls. Another jerk reminded him where he was and he quickly sat up, wincing at the agony in his side. He had also recalled what he had said to his captain, friend and guardian. And if he were to keep that promise he needed to survive the death throws of this ravaged vessel. Someone came up beside him, but he tried to ignore her as he gathered his strength to leave. "Who are you? And how did you know my name?"
Shooting a glance toward Siri, he stated, "I have to get to the bridge." Forcing his protesting body to rise he headed out the door.
Behind him he heard the Jedi Councilor instruct, "Stay here and take care of the initiates, I'll be back." Adi swiftly followed the receding form, and came up beside him. Periodically his step would falter under the objection of his wound but he refused to allow weakness to claim him again. They made their way through the bucking ship, holding on to walls intermittently when the ship shook violently. The corridors were ominously empty which made their walk that much more oppressive and condemning. Despite her usual denouement, Adi could no longer stand the silence between them, "We found your training saber. Where did you get it?" When she received no answer, she asked bluntly, "Who are you?"
Hesitating for a moment, Obi-Wan glanced at her through his bangs, "No one." Relief washed through him as they reached the forward cabin. When they entered, they quickly swept the scene. The captain was struggling with the controls as the Jedi Master was attending to the co-pilot, who was lying on the floor. As soon as they entered Qui-Gon turned to greet them, a thread of shock wove through his features at the unwelcome visitor, but he dealt with it immediately.
Walking past the kneeling Master, Obi-Wan headed for the vacant chair and surveyed the mess of controls in front of him. Automatically, he asked, "Is there a habitable planet close enough for us to land?"
"I'm heading for one now, but I'm not sure the ship will make it. Systems are failing all over and we're down to the aft engines." Called the frantic Captain.
Assessing the alerts, Obi-Wan quickly ran through his options. Expertly adjusting the instrumentation he said, "Give me the controls. I'll get us down." The captain looked at him incredulously, but noticed the set fortitude in the youthful features. Suddenly, the bulk of the ship responded to Obi-Wan's directions. Transferring power from non-essential functions, Obi-Wan managed to salvage enough energy to boost power to the remaining engines and forward shields.
Agony threatened to steal his consciousness, which he fought desperately to hold at bay. The black spots playing at the edge of his vision teased his weary mind, when he felt a surge in the Force behind him. At first he was unsure as to it's purpose, but was surprised to find it fill him lovingly, pushing away the aches and darkness. With renewed intensity, he headed for the habitable planet the Captain had indicated as their destination. For a moment he paused in his action as he recognized the small moon orbiting the world they limped toward and in that moment he smiled before banishing the emotion.
Qui-Gon had watched as the rogue entered into the forward cabin with his fellow Jedi. He had already sensed the Councilwoman's approach but it bothered him deeply that he had not sensed the youth. Dismayed by this revelation, he could not hide the confusion from his features at the boy's entrance. Admonishing himself for such failings, Qui-Gon directed all of his attention toward the strange human. His curiosity regarding the bewildering pirate was only matched by his desire to get everyone to safety on this perilous journey. He knew he was not capable of flying the ship himself, but he also knew they needed help in order to land in one piece. A sensation through the Force told him their best option was the aforementioned thief who struggled with the controls and his afflictions.
The ginger haired corsair danced his hands across the switches and dials, some of his fingers painted them red, making adjustments. The confidence in the young voice persuaded the Captain to relinquish the controls to this ruffian who had so recently threatened them. Now the boy was striving to save the moribund vessel despite his own ebbing strength. Qui-Gon could sense the pain emanating from the youth as well as the determination, but an injured body can only last so long no matter how obstinate. The Jedi Knight turned to his associate, who had been just as enthralled and captivated by this newcomer as he was, and glanced at her inquisitively. She noticed his glare and they communicated non-verbally.
Agreeing almost immediately, the two Jedi called upon the Force to re- direct it into the privateer. In response to their efforts, they could feel the youth drinking up the power hungrily. Continuing to channel, the Jedi watched the boy navigate through the expanse toward their oasis. As they passed a small moon, Qui-Gon noticed a saddened grin cross the young man's face before it was quickly withdrawn.
With precision brought on by extreme concentration, Obi-Wan flew efficiently through space. "You better have your Padawans take care of those initiates, this is going to be a bumpy ride," he had strained to give them some warning before entering the atmosphere.
"Tahl and the others are prepared," Qui-Gon and Adi affirmed simultaneously. Risking a glance, Obi-Wan gazed over his shoulder at the waiting Jedi. Deciding now was not the time to ponder their position he returned his focus to the monumental task set before him.
A jarring shudder almost knocked the Jedi from their feet, as the ship entered the outer ionosphere. Alerts and claxons sounded all around the group as Obi-Wan grappled with the controls. The others could only watch and pray as the boy guided the craft through the different layers of air. Soon they soared above an abundant forest, as the Jedi and the Captain began searching for a clearing to land in.
"Can't keep it up. Have to land now," the boy announced through gritted teeth. He could already feel the trees scraping at the bottom hull of the ship. Fearing that the craft might be torn apart if they landed now, Obi- Wan prayed that a clearing could be found quickly.
Suddenly, from behind him, he heard the tall Jedi shout, "There." Glancing over his shoulder he followed the length of the Knight's outstretched arm to see a meadow toward his right.
Hastily, he bade the ship to heed his commands to land in the field just large enough to cradle them. Fighting desperately with the craft, he could barely retain the altitude they needed. Silently, he pleaded with the Force to allow them to land safely. The trees loomed ever closer as they tore at the underbelly of the ship. Catching and hitching on the fingers of the planet the craft descended. As the helping hands of the forest gave way to the meadow, the cruiser plummeted.
Colliding into the earth, the occupants tossed inside their confines. A violent lurch thrust Obi-Wan into the arm rest eliciting a cry from the youth. Ignoring the agony in his body, he held on tightly to the helm hoping to control their wayward landing. Skidding across the green field, they finally halted at the other end of the clearing. For a few moments no one moved as they waited to make sure their journey was over.
The Jedi had braced themselves against the walls and were the first to recover in the bridge. Qui-Gon stepped closer to the viewportal to scan their surroundings. Beside him, he could feel the dazed youth collecting his wits. He watched as the boy surveyed the grounds and then rose slowly. A shaky hand came up to wipe away the sweat on his brow. The urge to help the young man filled his being yet Qui-Gon could not fathom the need he felt to do so.
"We should go and assess the damage," Obi-Wan spoke slowly and deliberately in order to hide the pain and weariness that crept through him. The Force slowly drained from him and his adrenaline was completely spent. The corsair wavered as he turned to leave the bridge, the hand that swept his brow clung to the back of the chair to steady himself. The solid frame of Qui-Gon blocked his path and his gaze drifted up to meet cerulean eyes.
Qui-Gon almost took a step back when the turbulent oceans stared up at him. The rolling seas spoke volumes, inviting one to share the emotions swirling within. He remembered those eyes. They had watched him, haunted him, in his dreams, nightmares and meditations. In the same instant he had loved and hated those eyes. Not so long ago he had seen them, before he thought them lost to him forever. Now Qui-Gon could see his damnation and redemption floating on the blue-green waves. His own raging sentiments coursed through him. And the soft green-blue windows to the soul were confused for a moment before they became unfocused. Tired eyes began to close as the Master stepped forward to catch the youth. Daring to believe what he wished were true with all his heart, Qui-Gon whispered but one word. "Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan knew the moment their eyes locked that this was the purpose for letting his ginger strands flow freely. Yet he had not realize that his earlier actions had brushed aside the silken bangs shielding his eyes. Now as they were drawn into each other's gazes, Obi-Wan could see the confusion intensify in the Jedi Master and then completely vanish. Suddenly, he knew that recognition of who he was caused the immediate clarity. And as the demon spots of night danced across his vision he tried vainly to read the emotions in the man who had rejected him so long ago. Amazed at what he saw, he could scarcely believe it. Instead of anger or further betrayal, he found joy and hope. Baffled by the display, Obi-Wan could not keep up with his battle to remain conscious. Quietly, he felt Darkness' call, and as he finally accepted it he heard what he feared the most, his own name. The Jedi Knight, Qui-Gon Jinn, had indeed recognized him. Unable to protest, unconsciousness claimed him.
The strong arms of Qui-Gon caught the youth gently. His confused elation left him holding the boy in a strange hug, before he tenderly gathered Obi- Wan up in his arms. Leaning on the Knight's chest Obi-Wan looked so young and innocent in his eyes. He turned to the commander, who was now checking on his co-pilot, "Take care of your crew, Captain. We will care for our own." He motioned to Adi and they exited the bridge.
As soon as they were alone, Adi voiced her concern, "You know who he is? Can you be so sure?"
For a moment they walked in silence as the Knight composed his answer, "Yes. I thought I had lost him all those years ago. Now, now, by the Force's will I have him back, Adi."
"You believe the Force has brought you together?" She raised an eyebrow in questioning.
At that Qui-Gon paused his trek to look at her. "When Yoda first came to me I was still not over Xanatos. And in some ways, I don't know if I will ever be. Yoda kept prompting me to take him, but I ignored both him and the Force. I have been haunted by that decision ever since." Unconsciously, he pulled Obi-Wan in closer to him. "Adi, the Force has given me a second chance to redeem myself. I will not ignore its will a second time."
"If it is the Force's will, you must be patient. It might not be for what you think it is." The Councilor was playing her role. She had to consider all options and see things from an outside perspective, regardless of what she felt.
Qui-Gon wanted to continue the debate, and would have if they had not reached their quarters. Instead, he directed his concentration on helping his lost charge. As they entered the cabin, he saw Bant tending to the wound on Tahl's arm. She glanced up at him perplexed by his burden. The look in his eyes told her that they would need to talk extensively about what had transpired.
Swiftly, he moved past them and laid the injured pirate on the bed. He brushed the hair from the boy's face and began to pull back his coat. Dark crimson overpowered the soft mint tunic. Stretching out with his senses he noted the blaster wound that scorched the boy's ribs. It was not life threatening in itself, but left unattended could escalate the problem. It was obvious Obi-Wan had lost a good amount of blood, although, Qui-Gon could sense the Force already at work on the wound. Tahl had come to stand behind her friend, "I'll get you some water to cleanse the wound."
Finished attending to her Master, Bant stood on the other side of the bed. Vexed by the object of Qui-Gon's attention, the Padawan moved closer to the prone figure. Her gentle gaze fell upon the still features of his face and in an instant the world stopped. She could not draw air into her lungs, her heart fluttered, and her mind buzzed with the possibilities. The voice that escaped her was no louder than that of a hushed whisper, "Obi-Wan."
Qui-Gon glanced up at the young Calamarian when he heard her speak. Tears formed at the rims of her silver eyes and a hand came to hover at the edge of her lips. Slowly, she fell to her knees but could not tear her gaze from her lost friend. When Tahl re-entered she felt the distress of her apprentice and knelt down next to her. She handed the bowl and cloth to dress the wound to Qui-Gon, but found the young girl taking them from her. Pushing back the shock, Bant set herself to the task of taking care of his injury, as she had so many times before.
With utmost care the trio diligently removed his shirt and wrapped his wound, washing away the blood and sweat. Just as they were finishing their work, a soft moan escaped their patient. A hand reached up to rub his forehead and his eyes fluttered open. Qui-Gon quickly assured, "You are safe. We have tended to your injury, but you should take it easy."
Obi-Wan stared up at the blank ceiling. He did not know what to think let alone say. So he said nothing, but listened to his surroundings. He craved for the ability to drift back into the sweet abyss of nothingness, only now it was no longer an option for him. He was alert and would have to face the demons of his past head on. The reticence in the room clung to everything as they sat waiting for someone or thing to tear through it. Bearing the burden of such a weight, Qui-Gon spoke, "There is something I must ask you," breathing deeply he continued, "Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi?" In all truth he knew the answer, it was more for Adi's benefit he asked the question. Still he found himself holding his breath in wait.
Fighting against the pain that clutched his heart, the boy closed his eyes. Such a simple question should not bear all the emotions that would occur in response to the inquiry. Yet despite what might happen, the youth could no more deny whom he was than stop breathing the air. So accepting a lungfull in he sighed before responding, "Yes."
A hitched cry could be heard from the Mon Calamarian at his confession. The girl lunged forward to fall across the chest of the boy, crying with both tears of joy and of pain. At her outburst Obi-Wan lost his battle to remain stoic and tears filled his eyes. His arm moved down to rap around his friend as she wept. No one spoke for some time, allowing the rolling emotions to take their course.
Finally, Obi-Wan patted the girl, telling her he wanted to sit up. She removed herself and knelt next to the bed. Qui-Gon was trying to find his own peace of mind as the possibilities of their reunion ran through his head. Tahl had moved to place a comforting hand on her life-long friend's shoulder. Adi watched from a distance concerned about what was going to happen next but delighted that they had found one of their lost children.
Gingerly, the boy sat up, wincing at his protesting side. Suddenly, his face changed from the melancholy visage to one that spoke of solid tenacity. Not wanting to deal with them any longer than he had to, Obi-Wan drove straight to the problem, "Have you checked out the damage?"
Taken aback by the abrupt change, Qui-Gon shook his head. "We wanted to attend to you first."
"It doesn't take 3 Jedi Masters and a Padawan to fix a blaster wound. You should have gone to assess our situation. We do not know the potential dangers of this planet, and we should not dilly-dally until we know the threats." The youth reprimanded their behaviour. Reaching for his shirt that hung on a nearby chair, he looked at it disgustedly. Despite its appearance, he refused to ask anything from the Jedi. Slowly he pulled the caked cloth over his form, and then sought out his jacket. Rising from the bed, he wavered a moment.
"What do you think you're doing?" Qui-Gon demanded of the boy.
"What do you think I'm doing? I'm going to do you're job." He found his trench draped over a different chair and went to retrieve it. "I don't know about you, but I want off this rock." Managing to get back into his tight coat, Obi-Wan headed for the door, only to be stopped by the composed Councilor.
"I think you should remain here," Adi stated. "You are correct, it is our duty to make sure there is no further danger to us before attempting repairs. However, since it was your group that forced us down here, I believe we need to determine if you are also a potential threat."
Looking at her in total denial, he argued, "If it weren't for me, we wouldn't be having this discussion. Now get out of my way."
Adi held her ground, "For that we thank you. But if you are Obi-Wan Kenobi, I would have expected better behaviour from a Jedi Student."
Rage bubbled over inside Obi-Wan at the remark. Approaching the woman he stood eye to eye, not even attempting to conceal his fury. "Listen, Master Jedi, the day I was sent off to Bandomeer was the last day that Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi lived. I may still bear the name, but I am no longer that person."
Coolly, she said, "Obviously."
"What would you have expected from one that was tossed out? Thrown to the melias? Did you really think that I would grovel back to you? What for? Tell me, what for? I had already dealt with one rejection. I didn't need to go through it again." Honestly, Obi-Wan hated his own reactions, but his mind and body were on a strange sort of autopilot, as if someone else was directing his responses. Adi remained motionless, watching his internal battle.
It was then that a small voice rose up behind him, "How could you forget *us*? We were your friends, despite what might have become of your life we cared about *you*. Not whether or not you were a Jedi. All we would have wanted to know was that you were alive and safe." Her voice hiccuped from the grief she felt. "We thought you were dead."
Obi-Wan did not want to face the pain in his friend that her words reflected. Instead he kept his back to her but allowed his gaze to drift from the Councilwoman. Quietly, he said, "I was." The silken ginger strands fell down around his face, covering up the troubled oceans. Even softer than before, he added, "I still am."
Bant could not stand the thought of what her friend had become anymore so she hurried from the room. For a moment Obi-Wan wanted to chase her, to comfort the one who had often done so for him. When they were initiates, he would find her waiting for him after a match with Bruck or another of his rivals. The kind hearted being that came to his room that last night with tear-filled eyes. The one being who seemed to give a damn about his fate when the Council decided to send him off to the Agricorps. And he treated her callously.
Biting back the bile, Obi-Wan wished he could take it all back. To tell her he had wanted to contact them at first, but when he knew it would make no difference he accepted what his life had become. Bant's Master followed her out, most likely to comfort her. Adi glanced back at Qui-Gon and then turned and left herself. Obi-Wan stood absolutely still even though he knew that it would not free him from facing the Knight. From behind he heard the quiet approach of the Jedi. "I think we should to talk."
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Well, I hope you all enjoyed that. It was a difficult chapter to write. Anyway, as per tradition, I am going down to my knees and clasping my hands in front of me, "Please, please, Review!! I beg of you. I want your feedback!! Please. Thank you."
Meggie - Thank you, I really appreciate it. And hopefully this is soon enough to keep those doggies leashed. And as forewarning, I was planning to update this once a week, so please be patient with me.
Cascadia - YEAH you updated!! But I'm still waiting to find out more. Please more soon. And thank you for the nice comments. I'm really glad you were able to feel for the Togorians, I wanted to convey that Obi is loved where he is and the choices he might be forced to make will be difficult.
Ewok Kid - Thank you!! I only begin the conflict here, the next post might be a bit more emotionally charged. Keep an eye out for it. : )
Heidi M - Yeah, I'm glad you like the Togorians. Someone had to take in Obi and I'm glad there was someone kind enough to nurture him. And Thank you.
Ciria - Bingo, you hit it. And thank you so much. : ) I really wanted to show that there was someone who cared for our Obi. He has so much trouble dealing with his on sense of unworthiness that I wanted there to be people that valued him.
Shan - Oh, you are still the best my dear. I'm just a hopeful. ; ) Hopefully, I'll be able to get you that reunion soon. It's been fun trying to write the conflict. : D And yeah, Disney was great. We were Jedi for halloween. And that was awesome! : D : D
Becky - ditto. I hope it keeps you on your toes. Thanks.
Liyanette - Thanks. I will do my best to update at least once a week. : )
Jedi_nayru - Thank You! Hope you continue to like it.
Padawan Kitara - Thanks for feeding my addiction. I can't seem to get enough of feedback. And like I've said, hopefully at least once a week. ; )