Chapter 3

The sun beat down on Jen and Joey as they lay in deck chairs, baking nicely on Joeys dock. The house stood behind them in disrepair. After the fire at the Icehouse they'd put the insurance money back into the restaurant, but it just wasn't enough to get the place up and running. Eventually the building had been sold, and when Bodie lost his job Bessie took out a mortgage on the house. Luckily Bodie had got a job at the restaurant that had replaced the Icehouse and whilst it didn't pay a lot he managed to keep a roof over their heads. Joey's pay kept the family fed. Unfortunately repairs to the house were rather low on the list of priorities.

'So have you heard from Pacey?' Joey asked as the Jackson Five floated through the air from Jens tiny stereo.

'No. You?'

'I don't think anyone has,' Joey let out a soft sigh.

'Well what Andie did really sucked. I can't say I was very sorry when she left,' Jen scowled.

'No I've had a few emails from her but I haven't known what to say,' Joey acknowledged.

'Same here. I've replied but kind of curtly.'

'Yeah, I mean I like Andie but she really hurt Pacey,' Joey frowned as Jen giggled. 'What's so funny?'

'I never knew you could be so protective of Pacey. All you guys ever did was fight!'

'Well he was always mine to fight with,' Joey admitted and shrugged.

'Don't worry Jo, I know you were friends,' Jen smirked 'Has Dawson not heard from him?'

'Well yeah he's had a couple of phone calls from here, there and everywhere. But you know Dawson he's a talker not a listener.'

'Thats the truth,' Jen nodded.

'Can you believe it's a month until we start at college? I mean if Pacey comes back it will be Christmas before we even see him again.'

'What's the sudden interest in Pacey?' Jen shot Joey an astute look Causing Joey to flush.

'His absence, Andie's absence, they emphasize how much has changed already. And when we go...'

'It's an intimidating thought. After we're in Boston I'll no longer have a home in Capeside,' Jen couldn't help feeling sad at the thought.

'You'll always have a home, you and Jack. I know it's not much of a home and Bessie will probably charge you to rent the space next to my pull out bed but seriously any time.'

'I'll take you up on that Joey, just so you know.'

'You better. I want us to stay in touch. You, Jack and I have no excuses. We're so close.'

'We'll always be close,' Jen nodded and smiled at her best friend.

'Who'd have thought it with the way we started?' Joey laughed softly.

'I was pretty determined to be friends with you Joey. I was pretty certain about that. You may not have realized it, but I knew we'd get on.' Jen admitted.

'Lets cut the mutual appreciation thing. It's embarrassing,' Joey felt a blush stain her cheeks at Jens words.

'When will you learn to take a compliment?'

'When you learn to accept that you fit here, that no one could fit better here,' Joey told her pointedly and Jen chuckled.

'Ok so we both have issues!'

'We're teenage girls we're supposed to!'

'Talking of issues, what do you want to do for your birthday?' Jen stared at her friend who scowled deeply.

'Nothing.'

'Joey!'

'What? I hate my birthdays. I want to chill out with my friends doing nothing.'

'Can we at least go to the roller rink?' Jen pursed her lips.

'Fine we can go to the roller rink!' Joey relented and Jen clapped her hands.

'Great,' she grinned and closed her eyes thinking. 'Joey...' she began at length.

'Yeah?'

'Are you and Dawson ok?'

'Why do you ask?' Joey wasn't defensive like she would have been a year before. She knew things were weird and wanted Jens take on it.

'Well since he ended it, even though you got back together you don't seem content?' Jen shook her head slightly. 'I don't know how to explain it. You seem as though something is on your mind. You're too thin as well. You know you've lost weight and I, just well, Jack and I have been worried about you...'

'I guess I'm not exactly happy but I think I've just been working to hard. The Marina doesn't allow much time for eating.'

'Well make time Joey,' Jen shot her a look.

'Ok.'

'And remember being happy is the most important thing, even if it means giving up on something you were certain would make you happy when you discover it doesn't!'

'Thanks Jen,' Joey murmured thinking about her conversation with Pacey a couple of months before. That party felt like a life time ago now they were on the brink of their lives changing forever. Andie was gone, Jen and Jack no longer had a base in Capeside, Dawson off to the other side of the country and Pacey adrift in the ocean. The world suddenly felt huge.

Jen hammered on the door of Joeys dorm room but no one was answering. She could hear someone moving about inside and wondered why they weren't opening the damn door. Pulling out her diary she double checked the room number Joey had written in there a few days earlier when she'd left for Boston and she was definitely at the right door. Tucking the diary back into her bag she hammered again.

'Joey,' she shouted through the door.

'Who the hell is Joey?' a blond, buxom girl answered the door a furious expression on her face.

'Um your roommate I think?' Jen hesitated.

'My roommate isn't coming and she was a girl called Josephine anyway - oh hey yeah, Joey,' it seemed to suddenly dawn on her why Jen had been calling for a Joey.

'What do you mean not coming?' Jen frowned. Back in Capseide they'd arranged to meet that day for coffee to dissect the college experience. They also had a party the following evening they knew they were both going to.

'All I know is the accommodation office told me she's not coming but they'll be putting someone in here soon!' the girl shrugged.

'Ok thanks,' Jen pursed her brow thoughtfully and pulling out her cell dialled Dawson.

'Hello,' Dawson practically grunted down the line.

'Hey Dawson it's Jen,' she walked as she spoke.

'Jen how are you?' he sounded so pleased to hear from her, so relieved.

'Confused!'

'Confused? Why?' Dawsons tone was laced with concern.

'Well Joey's roommate said she's not coming,' Jen said carefully.

'Relax Jen, there's just been some mistake I'm sure. You do know what happened don't you? I mean Joey tells you everything.'

'What do you mean?' Jen paused feeling a sudden anxiousness. 'Is she ok?'

'She's fine I guess,' Dawson sounded strained. 'And she's definitely at Worthington somewhere. I got a long email from her Worthington email.' Dawson repeated the email address to Jen and it was the same as Joey had told her.

'Oh did she give you her postal address?' Jen asked hopefully.

'Not exactly. Come on Jen, don't play dumb.'

'Maybe I just am dumb because I have no idea what's going on here,' Jen muttered frustrated.

'She sent me a long email - she was going on and on about our relationship being like a criminal trial and then she said the verdict was in and this whole soul mate thing wasn't what she thought it was. She basically said that we were meant to be friends. As more than friends neither of us are happy, that the verdict was final.'

'Wow,' Jen let go of the breath she was holding.

'Yeah you can say that again. I feel so so hurt and alone. I don't know what to do with myself - I thought she was happy.'

'Really?' Jen let the question slip without meaning to.

'You didn't?' Dawson sounded shocked.

'No she'd lost weight, she looked strained.'

'I just thought she was working too hard,' Dawson admitted.

'I'm really sorry Dawson.'

'It's ok. So you don't think she's ok?'

'Right now I'm a little worried,' Jen told him.

'Why?'

'I knew nothing about this and Joey normally tells me everything,' Jen explained.

'Oh well, maybe she's having some space you know Joey, the first sign of trouble or strife and she either gets drunk or pushes people away.'

'Maybe,' Jen murmured more to herself than him.

'Pacey should be back in Capeside soon by the way,' Dawson said.

'We should all get together at Christmas,' Jen smiled. 'Grams is going to rent some place in Capeside so Jack and I can be there for Christmas -she wanted more than Joeys offer of floor space!'

'That's great. I can't wait to see everyone already. Take care of yourself Jen and I'll speak to you soon.'

'And you.'

Pacey strolled up a main thorough fare of Roxbury, a Boston neighbourhood, enjoying the last of the Indian summer sunshine. Tanned and relaxed from four months in the Caribbean he only wished he'd come back to a friendlier reception in Capeside. His family had been less than pleased to see him home and he was beginning to realise that Capeside was a very lonely place with Dawson in LA and the others in Boston. That was why he'd quickly made the decision to move to Boston.

The area he was in was home to a deck hand he'd been sailing with and whilst it wasn't terrible and had a few redeeming qualities, it wasn't the best area. Uncertain what to do once in Boston, he was staying with his friend whilst he found a job and a place to live. He didn't doubt that Boston was the place to go. He'd never been particularly interested in Dawson's film related dreams and the majority of his friends were in Boston. The decision had been simple.

Walking down through this unknown neighbourhood he raced to cross at the lights before they changed. Turning to thank the driver who had waited and allowed him to cross he almost stopped in surprise when he saw Joey in a beat up truck. He waved but the truck was moving and gone making him wonder if he was seeing things.

'Hello?' Bessie answered the phone in a stress. Alexander was driving her nuts and the last thing she wanted or needed was another sales call.

'Hey Bessie, it's Pacey,' the familiar voice made her smile.

'Pacey! Where are you?'

'In Boston actually. I was actually hoping to get a number for your sister?'

'Sure let me get you her Worthington number.'

'Is Joey in halls?'

'Yeah,' Bessie smiled.

'Strange, I was sure I saw her this morning, but I was pretty far from Worthington. I'm staying with a friend and I was just sure I saw her.'

'Unlikely Pacey, she has a class Wednesday mornings,' Bessie frowned.

'Oh well never mind. Joey's got a doppelgänger I guess. I could have sworn it was her.'

'Hey there Lindley!' Pacey's deep voice made Jen squeal and throw herself into his arms.

'Pacey! It's so good to see you. What are you doing here?'

'I got into town about a week ago. I was staying out of town but now I've got a place. Believe it or not but this small town looser managed to do good in the city and got himself a money making job on the stock exchange,' he shrugged a little bashfully.

'Wow that's great,' she hugged him again.

'Amazing how many contacts a guy can pick up when sailing the seven seas,' he grinned.

'You have to come to this party tonight Pacey. Everyone will be so psyched to see you,' Jen gushed.

'Yeah?' his smile grew.

'Yeah,' Jen nodded her blond curls bouncing.

'College life definitely agrees with you,' Pacey told Jen as she met and greeted friends.

'Hell yeah,' she nodded spotting Drue and Jack.

'Jackers!' Pacey shouted pleased to see his friend.

'Pacey man,' Jack pulled him into a hug.

'Drue,' Pacey grinned and the two hugged as well.

'You didn't get lost at sea,' Drue grinned his tone unreadable.

'I can navigate,' Pacey grinned back.

'Good to see you navigated your way past Capeside to Boston,' Drue chuckled putting an arm around Jen.

'Damn straight dude,' Pacey sunk into a seat and took the beer Jack handed him. 'How have you guys been?'

'Jack's in a fraternity,' Jen scowled.

'Aww man what are you thinking?'

'I'm thinking those boys know how to party?' Jack couldn't stop smiling and neither could the others.

'So how's Andie?' Pacey asked as Drue and Jen moved off to dance.

'She's good. Still in Italy with Mark,' Jack bit his lower lip nervously and Pacey was instantly reminded of Joey - it was almost certainly a gesture Jack had picked up from her. Jen had said everyone would be at the party and there was no Joey. College had only started a few weeks back and he was sure that Jen and Joey would be making an effort to keep in touch.

'Hey Jack, where's Joey?' he asked. Jack breathed a sigh of relief at the change of subject,

'Weirdest thing - none of us have seen her since we got here. We go to her room and her roommate tells us she's never moved in and yet Bessie insists that's the correct room number. We email and she emails back. She keeps saying we should meet up and we invite her to all our parties, but nada she never shows. Jen's pretty pissed about it. Joey's her best friend and it hurts to be dropped. Even Dawson was dropped.'

'What do you mean, Dawson was dropped?' Pacey started wondering why Dawson had neglected to mention the fact.

'Didn't he tell you? Day after she got here Joey sent him an email saying no way, no how, not ever. Not like the other times, she was blatant and unforgiving. He was crying like a baby for weeks. Kept emailing to beg her to reconsider. But she just kept replying the same old thing...'

'Which was?'

'"The verdict is in and you and I aren't meant to be. I want to be your friend Dawson."'

'That's it?' Pacey whistled.

'Not exactly sugar coated huh?'

'Nope.'

'Anyway like I said - it seems we've all been dropped.'

'It's only been a couple of weeks,' Pacey protested.

'Jen had plans with her we all did. And the roommate thing? all weird. Face it, Joey always wanted to escape Capeside and now she's here she can mingle with people that don't have a clue about her, who won't talk about her. Even I can understand the appeal,' Jack frowned.

'But you are who you are,' Pacey frowned back, his mind conjuring a picture of large sincere brown eyes.

'I guess it's easier to hide poverty and a criminal dad than being gay,' Jack shrugged.

'It's not Joey,' Pacey wasnt convinced. 'We're her best friends, yeah even me, so don't look like that!' Jack snickered slightly but quickly straightened his expression. 'I'll find her if she's really here,' Pacey murmured thinking about the girl he'd seen that had so reminded him of Joey.