Chapter 3

I looked at the sky. The moon was high and the stars were shining brightly. I looked around the camp. The only people that were still up and about were Leliana, singing quietly to herself by the fire, examining her bow; and Morrigan, sitting silently by her own personal fire off in the distance, away from everyone else even though I've tried on many occasions to get her to move closer to the camp with the rest of us, but she won't hear anything of it. I once asked her why she was so far away from us and she replied with "I don't want to be anywhere near that sorry excuse for a human. He can't even tie his shoes right without someone holding his hand."

"Don't you think you're being a little harsh on Alistair? I mean he may not be the sharpest thorn on the bush but he isn't that bad," I told the witch.

She sighed and looked at me with cold, calculating eyes. Then her façade broke and she looked at me like a lost puppy "Well, that may not be the only problem." She warmed her hands on the fire. After a couple minutes she sighed and looked back at me. "There is something I'd like to discuss with you..."

The look I gave her was filled with shock. Morrigan, the witch of the wilds, is opening up to me? This really must be the end of the world. "Well, go ahead," I said, trying to reapply my smile.

She looked into the forest with a stern expression on her face. She does that a lot, that listening to the forest thing. "It's just that…" she began. "Oh I don't know."

"Go on," I encouraged her.

She paused, not knowing what to say.

She made an expression that looked like she was going to give me some sarcastic comment like she usually does. But she surprised me by saying, "I don't know how to deal with people." She confessed.

"Well you seem to deal with people fine, just not in a nice way," I replied with a touch of sarcasm.

She smiled at that. "That may be my problem," she said softly. "I treat people with spite because I don't know what else to do. I know how to influence people to do as I please; bat my eyes for the Templar so he will let me pass, compliment the wife so she will tell me the news around town. What I wish is not to trick people into doing as I please, what I want is to be able to have a real conversation with them," she said with a frown.

"What are you doing right now Morrigan?" I asked her.

She looked at me questioningly. "Talking to you," she replied matter-of-factly.

"And are you attempting to trick me into doing something you want?"

"Well…no, but-"

"But nothing," I interrupted her. "This is how you communicate with people, by talking to them and forming bonds. You can't expect people to socialize with you if you stay away from them the whole time. You don't have to tell them your life story, but make small talk and try to relate with them. And smile! I cannot remember the last time I saw you smile!" She cracked a smile. "Maker's Breath I think Andraste herself arose from the Fade!" The witch started laughing and I laughed along with her.

I smiled at the memory. That may have been the first time Morrigan opened up to me like that and from then on she's been coming to me for all sorts of things; asking me to kill her mother, telling me stories of her childhood, or sometimes just light chatting. When I killed her mother for her she not only treated me as her friend, but as her hero as well. She treated me with such awe and respect that you would think I cured the evil in the Darkspawn. She didn't outright call me her knight in shining armor, but I could tell her thoughts about me like an open book. She never spoke rudely about me – like she does Alistair – or question my judgment. The last time she did that was when I recruited Zevran, but she had good reason; he was supposed to kill us after all.

I yawned loudly. I was pretty tired after that fight with all those Ogres. I could also use a bath, I thought, feeling the dirt and grime from all the fighting today.

I got up from my spot and headed towards the little pond behind our camp. It was perfect because it was in a location where you couldn't be seen by anyone – as it was surrounded by boulders and foliage – and you could still hear it if someone was already bathing, or if someone was walking up. And the water in the pong was crystal clear, not tainted by any dirt or algae.

I reached the pond and started removing my armor. I sat my armor on a flat rock near the water. I was just starting to remove my clothes when I was attacked from behind. Before the enemy could get his arms around me I fell to the ground and twisted the intruder's legs with my feet. The trespasser lost his balance and fell to the ground with an oomf.

I got up, about to attack the intruder again when I realized it wasn't exactly an enemy that snuck up behind me, it was an elf, a terrible, arrogant, conniving elf. I narrowed my eyes and glared at him menacingly, crossing my arms.

"Even without being able to sense me like you can with Darkspawn, you are still able to defend yourself like a cat. A very divine cat," he said with lust in his expression.

"What do you want, you little rat." I said with violence in my voice. I was going to kill him if he didn't have an extremely good reason for trying to grab me like that.

"Oh nothing, just enjoying the scenery," he answered, eyeing my lack of armor. I still had on my shirt and pants, I knew exactly what scenery he meant.

"I don't see what you're enjoying," I retorted looking down at my body. "I have scratches and bruises everywhere."

"I wasn't merely speaking of your body, my little warden," he whispered in my ear. How had he gotten that close to me without my noticing?

I grabbed for his hand, but he jumped back, evading my grasp. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. You forget that you are not the only one who is quick on their feet."

I was tired of his games. "Look Zevran, I just wanted to take a bath. Alone. Without an audience if that's not too much to ask. If there was something you wanted you'd better speak now or prepare to lose a limb."

His expression changed, he no longer looked like the arrogant elf we all knew and loved. He was at a loss for words. He looked nervous and unsure. I pinched myself to make sure I was still awake – or if the thing that attacked me earlier was truly Zevran and not a Darkspawn and I died from the encounter.

Zevran opened his mouth, as if about to say something, but then thought better of it and retracted his action. He then started fidgeting. Then I started to worry. I walked over to him and shook him. "Zevran what's wrong? Are you ill? Has Morrigan put a curse on you that causes you to act the exact opposite from your usual demeanor?" I asked only half joking. I wouldn't put it past her to do something like that.

He chuckled at that. "No my dear, I am perfectly healthy and have no evil vexes on me."

"Then what's wrong?" I asked with a laugh.

"Well, I," he started. He couldn't seem to get his words together tonight. "What about our training session? Don't you want to learn the art of Crow assassination?"

I just looked at him. "Don't you think we could wait until tomorrow to do that? We did were just ambushed by a miniature army of Darkspawn, and it is pretty late, not to mention I am about to take a bath."

"Oh right," he said distractedly, my hint going completely over his head.

He stood there for a while, looking unsure.

I was about to tell him to leave when we heard a rustle in the bushes next to us. We got in our battle stances, ready for whatever was going to come out. We stood there for a while, waiting for the noise to reveal itself. When nothing exposed itself we relaxed. "I guess it was just the wind," I stated with relief. I was not dressed for combat.

I was still staring at the bush when a gigantic yellow toad shot out of the bush and right next to my right foot. I shrieked at the top of my lungs and jumped on Zevran's back, kicking the toad off my foot and onto the ground in the process. I felt his muscles tense in surprise. "GET IT OUT OF HERE!" I commanded the blond-haired elf. "KILL IT!" The toad sat motionless, staring up at us.

The elf complied with my demand. Zevran seized the over-sized amphibian and tossed it out over the surrounding boulders without a word.

I sighed with relief and got down from his back. Okay, so now what? I, Kallian have just showed the only other elf in the camp my greatest fear. What was he going to do with that information? Would he blackmail me? Play practical jokes on me with those disgusting amphibians? I examined him closely, looking for any signs of mischief.

He looked me in the eyes and just laughed. "My little elf, do you have a fear of frogs?" he inquired.

"No, of course not! I was just surprised at the sudden entrance of that nasty, slimy toad." I replied. Maybe he'll believe me, I thought with hope. I glanced down at the cold earth beneath our feet, the foliage that surrounded us, anywhere other than at the expression on his face.

He gently grabbed my chin and lifted my gaze to look into his eyes. "Of course my little warden, of course," he whispered with empathy. He released his grip on my chin and began to leave. Before I knew what I was doing I seized his sleeve and spun him back around, facing me again. Within an instant my lips met his. The blond-haired elf gave a startled little shock, not expecting my action. He then reassessed the situation and responded with fervor.

I felt something strange happen within my body, a cold fire started to consume me, slowly forming from my mouth and spreading out all the way to my toes. We started panting as he lowered us to the moss covered rock behind us. We gasped for air after a few minutes and looked at each other.

I realized my lack of clothing. I was only wearing my tunic and linen pants, not my usual suit of armor. I self-consciously removed myself from his lap and awkwardly walked a few steps away from the gasping elf. He stood up as well and stepped towards me. I looked away from him, feeling guilty. I thought of Alistair, of how he confessed his love for me and that I was his first and only one. How could I have done this to him? How could I have broken that trust between us? How could I have fallen for the tattoo-skinned rogue who attempted to assassinate me?

If only I had met Zevran first…

No! I can't think like that. I can't do this to Alistair. I told him I would stand by him and be his anchor, no matter how hard or crazy things got. We were the last of the Grey Wardens after all. Is that why I wanted to be with him? If that really is the reason, then maybe I don't actually love him...

"He doesn't have to know," Zevran said, breaking the silence that surrounded us.

"What?" I asked, shocked by his reaction.

"I know you're thinking about him. Thinking about how much a mistake this was," he admitted to the ground. He sounded regretful, sad. "This will stay between us. I came here to teach you the way of the Crows and that's all," he finished as he turned to leave.

Something clicked inside me. I had made my choice.

"You're wrong," I announced as I caught his arm for the second time and turned him to me. "I was thinking how I would break the news to him."

He embraced me as I found his mouth. The rose I kept pinned to my tunic, so it would be protected by my armor, unpinned itself and fell to the ground. I barely registered this as we waded into the pond together.