When I got out of the cage, I knew the first thing I'd have to do is find a vessel. Ideally I'd have chosen Sam Winchester, but he said no, so it looked like I had to find someone else. I chose Nick. Nice guy, really, but none of that matters. Once I had a vessel, I headed to the nearest hotel. I needed someplace to stay, somewhere where I'd be alone. I got my key and locked myself in the room. This wasn't right. Every moment I spent on Earth was worse than Hell. I'm aware of tears staining my cheeks but I don't do anything about it. I don't want to. My pain is keeping me alive.
Suddenly I am struck by an idea. I reach down and put my hand in Nick's coat, smiling softly as my hand brushes against the velvety fur of the toy rabbit. I take it out of the jacket and place it carefully on the bed before resuming my search. The next thing my fingers touch is the cold metal of my archangel blade, a blade that could end this once and for all. I sit on the bed, using one trembling hand to hold the sword to my throat the other to shield the rabbit's eyes. I know it's childish, but I feel as if I shouldn't let that toy see me kill myself. My breaths are unsteady as I call my brother's name in my head. I want Michael to see this. I want him to see how much suffering he has caused me. My blood is on your hands, big brother. Come and see. Come and see what you have done! I scream to him.
I squeeze my eyes shut and thrust the blade towards my throat, ready to savour the burning pain, contrasting with the ice-cold dagger, but just as the sharp tip was about to pierce my skin, there is a flash of light strong enough to see through my closed eyelids. A strong hand grasps my wrist, it's palm warm with grace. "Stop" says a familiar voice, and I open my eyes, not daring to trust them.. Did he really still care for me, after all these years, after all those unanswered prayers? I had to believe that he still did, as I gaze into his silvery eyes. "Michael…" I whisper "You came."