Mystery 3- Tenth Division

Disclaimer- I don't own Bleach and I'm glad- it looks like a lot of work.

Captain Histugaya scowled, he knew a vein was popping out of his head and he knew that anger was bad for his health but he just couldn't help it. As far as he was concerned he was the most unlucky captain in the whole Thirteen Companies because as far as he was concerned he was the only one who had to deal with a drunk or absent vice-captain on a near daily basis. Sure there were a couple of lieutenants who were far worse off that he- the eighth division for instance- but he was probably the only captain who had this sort of trouble.

Turning his attention back to the drunken form of his lieutenant on the office couch he briefly considered turning her into a giant popsicle- couch and all-, quashing that impractical thought (it was a heck lot more tempting than he might have originally thought) he ran through a couple of other options, weighing the effectiveness of each. Slowly, he began to smile- an icy smile which definitely did not bode well for the vice-captain who still lay sleeping obliviously on the couch.

Matsumoto awoke with a massive headache and stumbled straight for her drawer of sake before the blurriness of sleep even cleared from her eyes, she knew the headache was caused by a hangover and the best way to treat that was- in her opinion and those of her more drink-loving companions- to drink more. Yanking open the drawer she reached in, only to come out empty-handed, a look of confusion spread over her face followed by instantaneous dread. Frantically searching all her most secret hiding places, her worst fears were confirmed- every single one of her carefully selected and concealed sakes had disappeared.

A cold chuckle behind her brought her back to her senses; whirling around, she was just in time to see her beloved sofa turn into a massive block of solid ice. The diminutive figure of her captain was visible behind the massive frozen block, his amusement and satisfaction apparent. With a nod of approval at his handiwork he whirled, causing his captain's cloak to billow dramatically, and took his seat at his desk. Picking up his pen, he returned to writing as if nothing had happened.

"Captain! What have you done?" Matsumoto whined when she finally recovered from the shock and despair of losing her precious sake and sofa.

"Get to work or I'll freeze you to your chair!" he snapped, pointing in the direction of her desk- which was nearly buried under a mountain of work- without bothering to even look up from the report he had been reviewing. Matsumoto winced and hurried over to her seat, knowing her captain it wasn't unlikely that he would follow up on his threat. Fishing a packet of paper off the top of her stack she glanced at it- it was a financial report on the revenue and expenditure of the company- with a groan, she began to read.

It hadn't even been a full half hour- or even twenty minutes- before she began to yawn, what she really needed was a nice cup of sake. She was halfway to her sake storage before she remembered that they had all disappeared.

"Looking for your sake?" Histugaya asked, a look of satisfaction flashing in his eyes before being replaced by detachment. Matsumoto huffed as she plopped down into her chair, "Do you even need to ask that? On second thought, are you even allowed to just take my sake?" she mused thoughtfully, "Maybe I should report you to the police…"

"There isn't a police system here, you know," Hitsugaya growled, "you've been staying in the world of the living too long. And that's beside the point- I actually do have the right to take you sake." Picking up a copy of Laws and Regulations of the Seireitei he pointed to Law #597,380 on page 23,485- All captains have the right to confiscate any items which may be or will potentially be a distraction from the rightful work of a subordinate or the work of their fellow squad members. Such items include, but are not limited to: tea sets, rice crackers, fish cakes, sake, candy, potential opponents- such as the substitute soul reaper-, and other such things or people.

After reading the section ten times over, Matsumoto pouted and slumped in her seat, radiating gloom; seeing his chance Hitsugaya asked, "Do you really want your sake that bad?" She nodded vigorously. "Would you do anything to get them back?" She nodded again. "Anything?" Slightly less sure, she nodded a third time. "Very well then, I'll give them back- but at a price: fifty pages of paperwork a bottle. And I'll unfreeze the couch if you do all your paperwork for the next six months."

"Captain!"

"Not my fault," he shrugged and turned back to his own work.