Wow. I'm actually speechless. Step away from my post for a bit and suddenly all this happens. Oh well, it was to be expected really.

Man, that's just so Jupid.

See, this is how it goes down, folks. Cupid, the little happy-go-getter that shoots couples with that little spark that makes them do crazy things like book out the floor of a motel for the week, he goes around shooting lovelorn folks.

But Jupid? Jupid is a weapon of mass destruction and divine retribution. He descends from dark turbulent clouds in a column of out-of-place sunlight, raining holy smokes! on daft individuals too stupid to do as they're told.

You ever heard of the mild football enthusiast Justy Heinz? No, I thought not, and that just proves my point now don't it?

So Jupid vanquished our nameless bottomfeeder/narrative-deprived verb-user.

Now, you'd think after an awesome boss battle like that, this story would be done and finito. Well, you'd be wrong, and if so, you're probably dangerously close to having a visit from Jupid yourselves.

If you think you're one of those people then that improves your chances of survival, cuz you're smart enough to know it's a possibility. Jupid likes smart people. Jupid likes smart people a lot.

Oh well, Jupid is what Jupid does, I guess. Not my place to say otherwise. (Though I do point him in the right direction from time to time. See chapter 3)

So what's there left to read about I hear you say? Well, lots of stuff, but I'm going to skip over Sora's lengthy hospital visit and the two doctors Jupid axed in the process. Nope, instead I'm going to focus on a little place called Deep Jungle.

Wow, what a name, right? Don't worry it's not the name I would have given it. And you're right, for this story we should use the name I give it, shouldn't we?

So yeah, story takes place on a little vegetable garden in the Kingdomverse called "Jupid's Playground."

It's a place where Phil Collins' voice echoes from seemingly nowhere, monkeys can talk but leopards can't. Where women fall in love with monkeys and monkeys shit out gummi bricks.

Yeah, it does sound like the next logical destination doesn't it?

So okay! Backstory time. So these two presumably normal people manage to barely survive a burning boat with their infant son and swim to the shores of a dense forest. Whoo-boy, dense is right. Now, by some miracle they survive the knock on death's door, only to have some sideways jackass writers kill them off in the next scene. Yeah, that miracle sure did them a lot of good, and some 5-bucks-an-hour pencil pusher just signed onto the "Jupid-in-three-days-or-less" repayment plan.

Anyway so good little bedwetter… let's call him Tarstain, Tarstain gets rescued and subsequently raised by wild, untame, soulless beasts called gorillas. Because we all know that the logical thing didn't happen and they didn't just eat the kid for breakfast.

Yeah, Jupid's going to have fun here.

Anyway, peace exists in the jungle and little Tarstain grows up into a spear-wielding surfer dude who wrestles leopards with his bare hands, unwittingly fending off the exact same beast what did slew his parents. Okay, yeah, I still blame the writers for that one too.

Then commercialism shows up. A young lass from the city with way too much free time on her hands arrives at the shore, and for whatever reason she brings along a gun-toting knuckle-dragger along with. Yeah, that's about the time I figured Jupid would show up too, but nope!

They go walking into a dense bamboo thicket and decide, yup, you guessed it, to break and set up camp. And if they weren't attracting attention enough already, they set up plenty of fragile shiny things for all the animals to play with. I mean, who doesn't want a free Bunsen burner?

So cue Phil Collins and insert lovey-dovey crap here. Yeah, I dunno, maybe Cupid was really bored, or maybe he figured it was way past time for him and his wayward cousin to tag-team something. Either way, Tarstain and that young lass whose name eludes me begin to elope. I mean, I guess that's expected, it is the first time that poor sod's seen boobs. Anyway, they started getting real cozy when-

Oh noes! Layton! The gun-wielding freak goes ballistic! Who didn't see that one coming? And where do they find these guys? Some disgruntled Ma-and-Pa firearms boutique?

And then, as if the writers didn't deserve a laserbeam from a baby already this next part kills me!

"Hoo hoo, not Layton."

. . . . . .

Wow. Okay. I guess that makes sense to a naked guy running around the jungle named after a smear on pavement.

But for those of us that don't fit that description, I'll explain what's going on.

Tarstain is stupid and so are all of his friends.

Now, you can make excuses. Maybe that burning passion in his loincloth short-circuited his brain, maybe Ann or whatever only graduated with a bachelor's degree. Perhaps those Bunsen burners were burning something they shouldn't have been. I don't know. I don't do drugs. This is 100% natural fed with artificial sweetener.

And then again maybe monkeys are just stupid.

Regardless of the why, they believed him and that! That right there, my friends, that spelled out their doom.

Yup, you guessed it!

Some weird Pooh Stick tree decided enough was enough and it came crashing down on the lot of them.

The end.