Without opening his eyes, he attempted to assess the situation. First he breathed. There were animals everywhere, but he wasn't outside. Way too much metal, plastic, and obsessive compulsive. He had a guess. He felt the cold table beneath him and the soft fabric surrounding him. Just as he had thought: he was at the vet's. He relaxed. Even if the wolf's bane didn't kill him, something or someone else had the opportunity and this was the safest place for him.
But things quickly changed. He smelled her first. Milk, sugar, honey—everything sweet wrapped into one. But it was something more familiar, something so sweet it made him sick. He heard her too. She was singing, humming, something in between as she opened the door and closed it with a soft click. She began moving about the room, touching this and that. His senses and his wolf were roaring to life. His systems were demanding and shouting. He needed to preserve, survive. And then she touched him.
His hands shot out, he grabbed her throat, jumped off the table, and held her down all the floor. It took nearly all the strength he had but he wasn't letting her get anywhere near him. And as soon as he had the power and control in the situation, he opened his eyes.
She was calm, collected, and looked him straight in the eye.
"Who are you?" He growled.
"My name is Selene. Nice to finally meet you, Derek."
She didn't miss a beat.
He growled again.
"Derek."
He had known the vet was there before he had spoken but he turned around anyway. The look on the vet's face assured him that she wasn't dangerous. He loosened his grip and looked back at her. He looked her hard in the eye, daring her to do anything else but return his stare. She didn't give in. He let go completely.
"Excuse us, Selene."
"With pleasure."
She shoved a damp cloth into his chest. He stared, a little shocked and a little stupid. And as she exited the room, he continued to stare. She was fire and he was caught off guard, to say the least.
"How did I end up here?"
"If you ignore what I say, then I'm only going to return the favor."
He sighed and resigned himself.
"What were you doing at home?"
"I wanted to see the house one last time."
"After all this, you're just leaving?"
He winced. Did he need to continue reminding himself? He was making the right decision. But then he winced again and couldn't help but second guess himself. He couldn't even respond.
"This is your mess—now clean it up."
His mouth tightened and he could feel his teeth elongate. Just ever so slightly.
"Scott?"
"Wants nothing to do with the pack."
"Jackson?"
"Running around like a wolf without a cause."
"Isaac?"
"He won't be much of a wolf. Even if that wound heals."
"Erica and Boyd?"
"I've searched and searched—I can't even pick up a scent."
"The Argents?"
"They haven't attacked since that night but that's not much reassurance."
"Peter?"
"Haven't seen him since that night."
"And the new Alphas?"
"I haven't even thought that far."
"Do you want this town to be ripped apart?"
"I stay or go: same ending, different story."
"Oh no, there's going to be a much different ending if you go. Everyone will die."
Did he really think that the respective parties would draw lines and remain on their own sides? The omegas and the betas might make do but the vet was right. If Peter didn't get them killed, the new alphas would. Even if Derek did leave, the wolf wasn't done with this town. Not by a long shot. But would things be different if he stayed? Or would he be another number in the body count? Not that that mattered but what if things got worse?
"Don't wallow in your mistakes and your failures, Derek. If you really want to learn from them, start here and now."
Derek closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.
"I've done so many things wrong, I don't even know if I can do right."
He felt a hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes.
"You always believed what you were doing was best. You never would have been Alpha had the pieces not fallen in this exact way. But here you are. You need to step up to the plate. You owe at least that much to yourself, your family, and everyone that is still your responsibility, whether like it or not."
He sighed. Long and hard. And just like that, every ounce of commitment he had towards leaving vanished. He was running. He was good at running but now was neither the time nor the place. He had created a mess and the vet was right—he needed to clean up.
"But you're young and inexperienced. It's only fair that you make mistakes. You need help."
He lost it.
"And who is going to help me?! I have no one! I don't know what I'm doing. But how the hell am I supposed to make decisions for them and lead them when I don't know? They caught on, they know better now, that's why I'm exactly where I started—alone."
"You're not alone."
"Listen, I appreciate all the things you've done for me, my pack, and my family but…"
It was too much for him. Despite his strength and his perseverance, his body couldn't physically take it anymore and so he collapsed.
The vet was immediately at his side.
Milk, sugar, honey. So sweet and yet so familiar. Who was she?
"Is he okay?"
She was worried; he didn't understand why.
"The wolf's bane isn't completely out of his system."
"Derek, stay with us."
He looked at her. Really looked at her.
Long, black hair that fell in waves around her face.
Deep brown eyes framed by long, thick eyelashes.
Brown skin, petite stature, thin body.
And then it hit him.
The moon.
She smelled just like a full moon.