AN: HI! I'm SO sorry this has taken so long. I really want to get this out quicker to you guys because I have plans for this story and I'm really excited to get to them! Stick around because I'll finish this story eventually, I swear! Hopefully I'll get the next chapter out soon! THANK YOU!
No Beginning, No End
"I'm trying to do what's right here, okay? I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart."
"Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating."
"Don't."
"Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you."
- Angel and Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Chapter 3: He Left Behind a Broken Wife
The note is short.
The note is meaningless.
The note is...
A note.
"Mom."
I see Nessie. A light. Everything is so dark. Nessie is trying to sleep. She can't. I can't either.
She lies beside me. I am curled into a ball on my bed. Our bed. I stroke the sheets, remembering...he was just here. I could smell him. Nessie looks at me, worried? She pulls the note from my hand.
I know what it says.
It's imprinted into my mind. Forever.
Forever.
Bella,
I'm sorry.
I'll be seeing you,
Edward.
That's it.
After so much. That's it.
Nessie's hand is in my hair.
"I wish you could sleep."
Me too.
Nessie's voice is like bells. It's so much like...his. I close my eyes, I can't look at her when she is practically his female doppleganger.
I'll be seeing you?
What is that supposed to mean?
Couldn't he explain himself to my face?
The. Pain. Is. So. Bad.
I barely remember the first time he left.
Yes, he's left me before.
But, I'm sure this time it hurts a billion times more.
This time, I know what I'm missing.
...
Esme is here.
Where did Nessie go?
"Bella?" I don't hear her. I only see her mouth move. She takes the spot on the bed that Nessie occupied. "Sweetheart..."
What?
Leave me alone.
Where is Nessie?
...
Hello, Rosalie.
Rosalie looks mad.
She shouldn't be when she has such a beautiful face.
"Hi," I say.
She frowns, angrily. I don't know how she does it.
But she is stunning.
Nessie.
I want to be alone.
I wish I could sink lower and lower and lower...
...
Alice is fast.
She bounces.
A lot.
I don't remember that before. Should I?
Her mouth is flapping up and down so fast, I can't hear her or read her lips.
I nod, to appease her.
Alice needs appeasing.
What a silly little pixie.
...
Nessie?
...
Jacob! He must know where Nessie is!
"Nessie," I think I said. I don't know if he heard me.
"Hey, Bells," his voice is so faint. I'm sure he isn't talking softly at all. Jacob is always loud. "Ness is close by. I promise. She'll be here soon. Deja vu, huh?" He tries to joke. I think that was a joke.
I didn't laugh.
I wish I could, for Jaocb.
"It'll get better, Bella. It has to."
"Would it? If it were Nessie?" I ask, because I really want to know.
His face is clear and readable. He doesn't think he'd be much better.
"Thanks for trying, Jake."
"I'm not done trying just yet, Bells, I promise..."
...
Ah.
Nessie.
"Hi, Renesmee," I say weakly.
She is so beautiful.
It's just her and me.
Once again.
It's always been just her and me.
I see that now.
"Mommy."
She cries.
Big fat tears.
She sobs.
Yes, this time it definitely hurts a billion times more.
I'm not alone.
Because I have to share this pain.
...
Edward?