She was different. She was exactly the same. But she was so different. Joker watched the Commander wander around her old Captain's quarters. Her fish tank still had its normal coyfish swimming. Joker had EDI keep maintence on the tank while he kept up everything else.

Joker loved the Normandy. But after the Commander had died - again- he just could not bear to stay in the ship. Once was hard enough. But knowing Shepard was gone for a second time… Joker kept the Normandy. He just never flew it.

Seeing the Commander back in the ship made Joker in some ways feel whole again. In other ways, it made him feel sick. Here he was forcing the Commander to remember things she could not remember at all. And he was not sure if making her remember was the right thing. She had been through so much. And now… now there was nothing to weigh on her shoulders.

Instead she was new. She was fresh. Joker noticed the gentle way she walked. She stepped forward with her toes. Her weight swayed easily. She looked almost light. As if she were light. Then again, EDI did say that light is what brought the Commander back.

Shepard also touched everything now. She was like a child. She needed to feel things to help her understand. To help her know it was real. Because to her at least, everything was new. And she had so many things to see.

At the moment she was looking at the model ships that she had collected over the years. She was fascinated by them Joker could tell. But he could also see that she did not look at them as she once had. Before, they reminded her of her past; of her mistakes. It reminded her of what she had to learn. Now she looked at them with a newfound interest as she tried to tell the difference between them all and understand what made them unique. But the recognition was no longer there.

Joker wondered what of the old Shepard was even there now.

"What's this one called?" she asked him.

Joker snapped out of his trance.

"Oh that? That's a turian ship," he told her. He still felt like something was off but he could not help the smile that appeared on his face whenever she spoke. She spoke softer, gentler than before. She did not have the edge in her voice like before. But it was still her voice. And as sad as it made Joker that she was not the same Shepard that he remembered, just being able to look into her dark brown eyes again again made him feel warm inside.

"Turian?" she asked again to confirm.

Joker nodded.

"Yeah, you did not always get along with their leaders but you did admire their military tactics and ships."

Shepard nodded. "Oh."

"Actually," Joker motioned around them, "the Normandy was built with their help!" Shepard smiled.

"Really?"

Joker walked over to her side and leaned against her desk.

"Yeah," he said as he looked at the model ship. "It was an unbelievable accomplishment. Turians and humans had a lot of bad blood between our us. But this ship is just a giant testament to the great things that can happen when people work together."

Shepard nodded and looked at the ship.

"So you really like the Normady?" she asked.

Joker chuckled.

"Yeah. This place," he looked around the room, "it's like my home."

Shepard smiled. "That's good then, right?" She walked over to the fish tank. "I mean, I don't remember where my home was but… 'home' means something right?" she looked to the fish swimming in the blue tank. Her dark eyes reflected the red from the swimming life in front of her.

"Home…" she said again to herself. Joker watched her get lost in the motions of the fish in front of her. She seemed captivated by their movements and she followed them in a way that made her seem almost ethereal. She seemed like she was not really there with him.

Joker felt his communicator vibrate. He did not know who it was but he could guess it was EDI. Joker really was not in the mood to talk to her still. Besides, he could only imagine it was her alerting him of the time. He normally had his visit with Dr. Chalkwas in an hour. Joker figured EDI could reschedule for him. Or he would just go late. He just was not in the mood to be near EDI. Nor anyone else. He had Shepard back. And he was going to enjoy her for as long as he could.

"So, you want to go check out your old command station?" he offered.

Shepard blinked and turned to him as she returned back from her thoughts.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

The two went to the command board.

Joker walks her up the steps and guided her hands to the sides.

"This is where you would tell me to go places," he told her. He pointed to the space in front of her. She looked. And with her attention there he turned the map on.

The lights of the universe lit up and Shepard's eyes lit up with it.

"Wow," she breathed. "Where did we go?"

Joker grinned. "Anywhere in the galaxies."

She took in a deep breath and looked around the map. Her shoulders fell back and she stood tall. And in that moment, she looked as she once had. She was strong, unyielding. She was the Commander Shepard.

Joker felt another buzz from his pocket. He chose to ignore it still. Now he was sure that it was EDI and he was still not in the mood to see her. Not when he had the Commander back.

But she was there for a time that was all too short. And Joker watched helplessly as she disappeared right before his eyes. And what was worse, she fell because of him.

As her gaze traveled the map, it eventually ended up looking straight ahead. Straight to the cockpit. The light in her eyes faded as an unsettled expression set in her face. Joker looked to her in confusion.

"What's up, Commander?" he asked. She pointed ahead.

"What's over there?" she questioned. He looked to where her hand pointed.

"The cockpit?" he said as she started to head over to it. He followed her.

She entered the cockpit slowly. And she approached his seat. Joker stayed behind at the entrance and watched her carefully.

"The… cockpit?" she repeated. But instead of interest on her lips, it was almost distress. Joker did not know why she would be.

"Commander?"

She looked to his old chair.

"This was you," she said as her fingers ran across the leather. "Right?" she looked at him with eyes that were on the brink of tears.

Joker took a few steps inside.

"Well, yeah I was here a lot. Comes with being the best pilot ever."

She looked to his old chair.

"Jeff 'Joker' Moreau," she said in a low voice. "You never used to smile…"

Joker felt his heart soar. "Wait, you remember?" he said excited.

But his excitement was short lived as he watched her chest heave and her eyes drop a tear.

"No- I- I don't," Shepard grabbed at her hair. "Joker, I feel, fuzzy." She looked at him in fear. "I don't like it."

Joker stepped closer to her slowly.

"Commander?"

And he watched as her skin started to emit a soft glow around her. And her iris paled from its normal beautiful dark brown to a glowing cold blue. She grabbed at her hair frantically. And for a moment, Joker watched in horror as for a split second, she blinked out of sight.

My sister wrote this while I got my hair done which is why the update is so soon. But this is just because she can't do anything else while my mom keeps us stuck in the room.