Thee Owlation Service

A/N: Again with the updating…sheesh people should shove a cattle prod where I won't name. Thanks so much for the reviews! Hope you enjoy this new update. Review! It makes my world go round

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Harry Potter or Rowling's universe, I claim nothing but the plot of this fic, this is written for my own amusement and hopefully will give others some enjoyment also.

Summery

Sirius and Remus decide to sign up to the owlation service over the Hogwarts hols, little expecting to be paired with one another. Padfoot has loved Moony for years, will Remus Lupin piece the secrets together and work out Night Flyer's crush is actually himself? And his pen pal the ever loyal Sirius Black?

Rating: M

Chapter Rating: T

Author: Look up...

Warnings: SLASH, MalexMale relationships, language

Sirius was depressed, well maybe he was being a bit melodramatic, just because Rome hadn't replied yet in over a day did not mean he had to be depressed. But why hadn't he? Was it because he'd worked out who the 'they' was, he'd tried to make it obvious, obvious enough for Rome to work out yet he didn't have to say it flat out. He had dignity after all.

The animagus trudged into his new kitchen making a face at all the boxes around the place, knowing he 'should' unpack…how boring. The teenager grinned oooor he could wait for his lovely friends tomorrow. Prongs, Moony and Peter were to appariate over to see his new place, a whole house warming theme. He couldn't wait and he knew them too well, his Rem baby would so unpack everything, he was too fussy not to, while Prongs would laze around with a firewhisky and Peter he'd probably like to converse, always a bit more too himself Peter. Sirius waved his wand, glaring at the numbers that formed in the air, swishing away the smoke in distaste 2pm in the afternoon and still no bloody letter!

/The next day/

Sirius scowled throwing some tight leather trousers on, pulling the belt tight viciously. Angry and somewhat hurt that he hadn't received another letter, just because he was a bloody ponce did not mean Rome shouldn't respond. Who did he think he was? Frustration glowered off the aristocrat as he went to work sexing himself up for his friends in an hour. Well... one friend in particular, and Moony had bloody well notice this time or he was going to strangle the pillock. It was an empty threat, as if he could harm a hair on his babe's head. The attractive youth posing before the mirror taking in his dark black muggle clothing, something he delighted in wearing as he knew it made his parents furious. The Black heir wearing mudblood clothing, oh the sweet torture. Padfoot smirked, pleased at his appearance, hand smoothing over the black t-shirt and the band sprawled over the front. Everything was tight, showing exactly why he was the most wanted bloke at Hogwarts, he was fucking gorgeous.

Moving around the makeshift apartment, the quidditch player went to the fridge pulling out a firewhisky, ignoring the piles of boxes lying around still not unpacked, much of his belongs spilling over the floor thanks to his rummaging for bits and pieces when the thought arose. The grey eyed wizard pushing Rome to the back of his mind, he didn't need the stress. Remus was coming! He hadn't seen him for the past three weeks. Listening to the record, another amazing muggle contraption, kindly introduced to him by Wormtail. Sirius heard the first of the group to arrive, a grin lighting up his face as he bounced over to the door throwing it open exuberantly. Eyes alight when seeing his bespectacled best friend hovering in the doorway, curiosity gleaming in hazel eyes, clothing sloppily thrown together. The Black staring at his near brother's appearance before rolling his eyes and slapping the gangly male on the back, "Come on in mate, check out the new pad. No birds, no parents, you're really missing out."

His teasing making James chuckle, hand ruffling his wild hair. "It's bloody brilliant mate, you got the furniture in already?" The Chaser walking around the apartment quite impressed by how independent Padfoot had become.

While James made himself at home, Sirius considered for the briefest of seconds if he should tidy up the kitchen for Moony, the idea of doing anything involving cleaning made the warlock grimace. 'Or Not' Eyes sparked at the high pitched warble that echoed through the house. Prongs having jumped giving him a 'Are you mad?' Look, Sirius poking out his tongue, not about to tell Prongs how it sorta reminded him of the sound that used to resound through the Grimmauld mansion to warn off visitors. It was like a warm memory of childhood, so of 'course' he was having the same thing. Eyes flickered down to his wizarding watch, yeah dead on. Had to be Moony. Excited he made his way to the doorway, pulling it open, cocking his head, causing his raven hair to fall to the side, grey eyes darker with emotion. "Wotcha beautiful." Sirius greeted a wide grin across his features.

Taking in the startled amber eyes, the French youth blinking for a moment before sighing as if he didn't understand how he could put up with him.

"Morning Sirius," The male ducking under his arm that he had used to barricade the entrance way. The dog animagus huffing at the ease Remus could just brush off his flirting.

Sirius took a small reprieve of the unfairness of life as he checked out Moony's arse, Merlin the bloke was bloody fit. Checking out his friend's physical assets distracting him completely from the horrified tone of the slender Gryffindor as he fussed over the mess the apartment was in. Thoroughly enjoying the sight as his friend bent over to start emptying one of the boxes in the living room. Wincing as something smacked him in the forehead. Growling as his eyes darted up rubbing his temple childishly as he glowered at James. 'Arse...ruin his fun.' Jamsie took a little too much delight in saving him from being caught checking out the gentle werewolf. The headboy sniggering at his misfortune.

"Are you ok James?" Remus voiced suddenly sounding puzzled.

Prongs smirking, "Right as rain mate, what are you doing though? Don't go cleaning up after this pinhead."

"Oi!" Sirius complained in mock offense, "It is an honour to pick up after me, I am Sirius Black."

"The egotistical prat." Remus added in a grumble as he started packing saucepans away. "How could you leave it in such a mess? ...For that matter how do you find anything?"

Sirius whined "You're picking on me Moony, I've been sitting here missing you for weeks and now you're tearing my heart to shreds" The melodramatic youth inwardly snickering at the pained expression that filtered across the smaller s features. "And then you didn't even notice my clothes, look!" He enthused, spinning around extravagantly. Remus biting his lower lip not seeming to know what to say, James just calling his friend a moron.

"Ah.. they look .. nice?" The werewolf offered, Sirius's jaw having dropped completely horrified at such a weak compliment.

"They..look nice?" Sirius spluttered, "What about drop dead sexy, or hot or fashionable or...or.. " Grey eyes narrowed, "You are a loser at giving compliments." Sirius sniffed. Folding his arms over his chest, watching through his lowered lashes the distress the smaller one was struggling with, over apologising or laughing.

"Padfoot, I'm sorry for not noticing your smashing clothes." Remus finally muttered dryly.

Sirius beaming, "Aw that's alright moonykins." Remus yelping as he was dragged away from the boxes into a half dance to the music pulsing through the house. The Beater loving how easily he could stun the smaller wizard, watching as common sense finally clicked and the werewolf swatted him away.

Making his way to drop on the couch beside James who had been watching the proceedings like a spectator sucking on a sugar quill; Grey eyes stared at the male for a few moments before suspicion warred inside. "Now Prongsy dear, those don't happen to be 'my' sugarquills?" The sweets awfully familiar. Guilt flashing through hazel eyes, but before Sirius could issue a war cry, the loud doorbell shrieked out.

Remus's eyes having flared open in alarm at the sound, the sight 'nearly' making Sirius reconsider having such a scary bell but his thoughts wandered as he strode to the door. "Pete. In." He ordered with little courtesy, the stressed blonde hurrying inside a box of butter beers cradled in his arms, sending a questioning glance to the remainder of the four. Remus smiling in reassurance, the sight making Sirius's heart melt. Merlin...he couldn't keep doing this, one day his poor Moony was going to be pounced looking all...sexy and kind like.. While pondering how it was possible for the universe to create, .. or God whichever, created such a perfect individual. He heard a weird sound, scritching...bloody hell... that better not be someone pelting things as 'his' new apartment.

Standing there, he tried to consider whether he should hang out the window and tell the blimey bastards to bugger off. While thinking this he heard a curious tone to his love's voice.

"Pad's is that an owl?"

Sirius froze, wide eyed before realising what was being delivered. Flying over to the window yanking the window up so he could bend down and near rip the poor letter off the aggravated old barn owl. Succeeding the gleeful marauder tore the letter open, eyes racing over the words.

Good day Night,

Dear that seemed rather conflicting to say but I'm so sorry I haven't replied sooner. I have been thinking about your dilemma. I will admit some of the things you said startled me as I've made an assumption I don't want to presume is true as that would be awfully rude of me. I will expand of course in a little bit. I will concur Slytherins are not my favourite house, they take a little too much delight in tormenting others. That 'is' hypocritical of me, my friends take just as much delight. However I don't mind so much the Slytherin Severus? You talked to him before? He's very intelligent actually, gets picked on a lot however.

Now pranks that I can do, you wouldn't expect it of me, but it involves a lot of good planning pranks and knowing the right things to say. (My friends are terrible by the way) They manage to suck themselves into detentions one after another…I don't know why the professors bother really, I have to admire their determination. That and I apologize deeply Night I did not mean to pick apart your moral code of compassion and empathy. However you do realize 'ununderstanding' is not a word don't you? I promise I shall come to you now if I'm ever deeply troubled, may it help you feel better?

Night it is now my turn for offense, are you inferring my mind is mush because I know how to read? Come now, intelligence and literature is not to be mocked, can you imagine where we'd be without it? It's as if you're trying to say there's no point even for school utterly ridiculous my friend.

I shall forgive you of course as you don't like to read, I don't like quidditch…it's the height that gets me I think. And you're right, there is 'no one to catch you' perfect wording. I will fear the day I slip off and snap my neck I used to hate those flying classes I'm so glad we don't have to do them anymore now that we're in our seventh year. Just don't smother yourself, how could I talk to you then? These talks are quite fun if I do say so myself and you are so different from me.

Oh dear, I can't say that's something I have ever reasonably considered, being a ponce that is. Nothing against it either, I don't date blokes or birds my dear Night think of me as asexual at this point in my life. You fret too much of course there is no abuse, you have to learn to trust me a little, even if in real life I do tend to tell quite a few untruths when the occasions arise. This though is to bring us closer well, in understanding others so very different from ourselves and I shall with all efforts be as truthful and as honest as forseeably possible.

Now this brings me back to my earlier dilemma a presumption I've made, please Night forgive me if I'm wrong. However if this crush of yours you share the bed with, innocently by the sound, in the aim to tease and bring closer. I have deducted unless you are James Potter it would be infeasible for you to get into the girls dormitories, what with all the curses. Does this mean your love is male? If so (or not at that matter) I shall certainly attempt to help you woo them. I have no judgement on such things as love, it's not something that can be prevented certainly. First questions first, it's obvious you know them 'very' well, love them dearly at that. But most important, Are they homosexual (if male else this question really doesn't count), What's their favourite food? Colour? How do they like to spend time alone and with others? Most of all are they even 'slightly' romantic you'd be surprised both genders can have a little enjoyment of romance. You have to find this out as soon as possible. I can send you much better tips, if you love this witch or wizard so greatly then I'm certainly going to help you somehow, although any advice I give may not be so helpful. After all 'I' am not one involved in relations, not as successful as you are by take of your popularity.

Of course I want to know you Night, you are a fascinating wizard, however I thought it'd be considerably more fun this way. As what if we didn't like one another in real life? I don't want to darken out friendship by previous ideals, or shadows. Instead I'd like to find out about the real you, and I'm going to see who can work out who's who first. A challenge Night? Are you up to it?

Sincerely yours

Rome

P.S. In regard to the squid, no I have not swum with him...nor shall that change.

Forgetting completely his puzzled friends. Relieved, so relieved to hear Rome didn't care if he was a ponce, it distressed him to know there were many things he didn't know about his crush. He was highly certain he wasn't a poof, but favourite colour? Well...sounded like he had a lot to find out today."

"Whatcha get Sirius?" James called from where he was now sharing Wormtail's butter beers alongside with Remus.

Flustered the pureblood smirked, "Just an order mate." The tall aristocrat shoving the letter into his tight trousers, a little mournful at the crinkling that would of occurred, but it was too bad. Rome was his secret.

OOOo

Please Review!