DISCLAIMER: I OWN BIRD WOMAN KAKAW!
Chapter 3
BPOV
So after I left Wendy's, Zac Effron and I were having an interesting conversation, when he offered me, a fudgy wudgy bar.
"SJGHKSBDGOAIHGLAHSGPI FUDGIE WUDGIE BAR!" were his exact words. But I understood old hairy monkey talk, and I spit on his red basketball shoes and started crying.
"FUDGY WUDGY BARS REMIND ME OF MY DEAD GRANDPA!" I screamed. I started doing a rain dance and summoned up Ray Charles from the dead. He took Zac Efrron, and ground him into coffee and drank him.
"YUM COFFEE!" He yelled before being sucked into my pants. Then Freddy Mercury walked into the room and yelled "I JUST WON THE LOTTERY!" In a thick Irish accent. Then he joined Ray Charles. I shrugged and walked away.
I felt my wings grow in, and I flew over to some random kid named George Bush's house. He was playing with his best friend Saddam Hussain. They were playing battleship. Saddam yelled out "A,3" and George's face turned a bright shade of orange. "YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP BIOTCH!" and slapped him. "NOW WE ARE AT WAR !" He walked away, into his closet and came out in an Uncle Sam outfit and started recruiting ants for his army. Meanwhile, Saddam was making nuclear weapons. Then they started their war. On Saddam's side, there was Minnie Mouse, Kurt Cobain, and Boy George. George had, The Ant Bully, the ants from the movie "Antz", and his great Aunt Tessy who rose from the dead. Minnie Mouse stepped on everybody on team U.S.A, and Saddam wins! And he names the country Saddam Francisco. I shrugged and flew away to Jesse McCartney.
Jesse was having an engaging conversation with Edward, who was trying to get me back. He had a broken nose, and had to get plastic surgery, and he still looked like Michael Jackson. I am so glad we are over. I walked into the house and said hello to Jesse.
"Bella!" Edward said.
"KAKAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" I screamed at him.
"Bella, please! I love you more than cheesecake, and that's a lot!" Edward said trying to embrace me.
"I LOVE WORMS!" I yelled. "More than I love you!" Edward looked hurt.
"More than cheesecake?" He said while shoving a piece into his mouth.
"Defiantly...more...than...cheesecake." I said. He broke down crying. Then he said:
"FINE WE ARE OVER AND I...AM COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET!" him and Jesse McCartney then made Brokeback Mountain 2.