Insufferable Canoodling and Other Tales

by Aries1986

Relationships bloom among the Battleborn and Kleese could not hate it more. Story will feature various pairings.

3. Chapter 3

She Blinded Me with Phasegates

Chapter 3

Phoebe/Marquis and Phoebe/Caldarius

Marquis buttoned his overcoat. With a whistle, he tilted his hat so Hoodini could hop inside. The Magnus placed his hat on top of his head. With a tap of his finger, Marquis settled his bowler into its proper place. "Wunderbar," He said after assessment. Turning back toward the bed, he called out. "Lady Phoebe, it's time to wake up."

Phoebe's tousled blonde hair ducked under the covers. "Five more minutes."

"You have a meeting with Roald Kimmel in Acquisitions this morning, an interview with Engineering Advancements Today, and you're also meant to do a maintenance tour at Hemsworth Arms. Also Baron Hemsworth scheduled breakfast with you."

Phoebe threw the blanket off and sat up. She brushed her hair out of her face with the back of her hand. "He's just going to leave me sitting there for an hour then send me a last minute comm saying how sorry he is and how he needs to reschedule."

Marquis hummed. It was true that her father wasn't the best with keeping commitments. "What would you suggest?"

"I'd rather have breakfast with you in the privacy of our quarters." Phoebe purred. She gave the spot next to her a pat. "At least in our quarters, we can cuddle without judgement."

Marquis grabbed Phoebe by the hand. She squealed as she was hauled from the bed. "Marquis!"

"As tempting as staying in bed with you all day does sound, you have responsibilities." Marquis dodged her slaps. "I will order your breakfast and you can eat in here, but I insist that you prepare for the rest of the day, Phoebe."

Phoebe pouted. "Ugh, I could think of a hundred things I would rather do than be interviewed by those pigs from Engineering Advancements Today. Do you know they barely asked about my accomplishments last time? They wanted to know how I managed to stay so thin and what my skin care regimen is when I'm off fighting the Varelsi! What does that have to do with engineering?!"

Marquis was there for that interview. He had spent the entire time clutching Bindlebane, methodically fingering the trigger as he watched that hobo disguised as a respectable journalist talk to Phoebe's chest for an hour and a half. Disrespectful worm. "Yes, well. I made sure to ask for a different journalist. Hopefully, this one takes you more seriously."

"We can only hope." Phoebe removed her nightie and placed it on the bed. Marquis would have a minion bot add it to the laundry. "Do you suppose if we have time later, we can stop at NOVA for a while?" She tried to keep her tone neutral. Phoebe liked spending time with the other Battleborn away from the prying eyes of the LLC. There was a sense of camaraderie on the other ship that came with no strings attached.

Marquis didn't quite like the idea of spending so much time with the other Battleborn (whom he viewed on various degrees of savagery), but even he had to admit that they had a certain freedom on NOVA that they didn't have on the Hemsworth guildship.

"Well, if we do everything on the schedule I believe we may have some extra time." Marquis sighed.

Phoebe's entire face lit up. "Wonderful, Marquis! Well, in that case I'm off to the showers."

Marquis oversaw the minion bot that was responsible for setting out Phoebe's outfits. The Magnus liked to double-check to ensure that the outfits were appropriate. In the privacy of their room, the Mangus wasn't required to act as her butler, but old habits die hard. Marquis sat down by the bathroom door and read Phoebe the subjects of comm message. "Your mother has sent another list of suitors."

Phoebe spat a curse in French. Marquis was pleased that her immersion lessons were going well, but he had to wonder who taught her that. He highly doubted that Mademoiselle Dupont would include profanity in her curriculum. "You know what to do with that." Phoebe yelled. Marquis chuckled as he slid the comm message from Baroness Hemsworth into the recycle bin icon where it would join the other emails of the same subject matter. Phoebe stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a pillow soft bathrobe. "I don't know why Mother insists on doing that."

"I assume her biological clock is ticking," Marquis suggested. "Don't humans have this need for grandchildren? She's probably feeling the pressure."

Phoebe grimaced. "Well, she should get a hobby. Or a dog! Besides, I saw some of the specimens she had on the last list. Malcolm Peabody! Ha! If she thinks she can set me up with the boy who used to try to put his boogers in my hair than she's sorely mistaken!"

The Peabody family were an influential family with shared stocks in the Hemsworth industry as well as Minion Robotics. They had a net worth of 78 billion credits. Malcolm Peabody had a weak chin, had several sexual harassment lawsuits lobbied against him, and was rumored to have sent the woman carrying is illegitimate child to live in the Detritus Ring. Marquis would shoot Malcolm Peabody in the dick before he let him anywhere near Phoebe Hemsworth. "I'm sure your mother has her reasons," Marquis said diplomatically. He highly suspected those reasons to be that she wanted a grandchild and was starting to get less picky about who sired it as long as they came from one of the old family names.

Phoebe slid into his lap. Marquis gave her sympathetic cluck when she placed her head against his shoulder. "You know if I had any real say in who I got to marry—"

Marquis shook his head. They had this conversation before. There was no use talking about it. It only made them both gloomy. "Current laws aren't on our side, Fraulein." The Magnus said. "Although, you'd make a very beautiful bride."

"It's not fair!" Phoebe protested. "I'm a bloody Hemsworth! I should be able to marry whomever I want!"

"You can't do that because you are a Hemsworth."

"Patrick bloody Montague parades his robot secretary around with his hand permanently glued to her ass and no one says a word. He's had that poor robot's chest modified so many times that if gets any bigger the poor thing won't be able to walk upright! I'm not asking for much, Marquis." Phoebe pawed at her face, wiping away tears.

Marquis didn't have a response. He held her and allowed her to vent her frustrations. The universe wasn't fair. The world let people like Patrick Montague use his robot secretary as a walking sex toy and the only response he got was a conspiratorial wink and chuckle from the other old boys. Phoebe Hemsworth would be the subject of a scandal if they found out about her relationship with Marquis. People would talk, the Hemsworth name would be dragged through the mud, and who knows what they'd do to Marquis.

It wasn't fair, but what could they do?

Nothing.

Phoebe stirred her tea. It allowed her to gather her thoughts and as acted as a stalling tactic. Seated across from her was a visibly agitated interviewer from Engineering Advancements Today. The woman had a pair of black framed catseye glasses and a deep burgundy undercut that worked well with her tawny skin tone. The golden stud in her nose glinted under the bright lights of the room. A spherical recording bot floated next to her, the bright green light telling them both that it was powered on and recording at that very moment. Marquis stood silently in the corner, waiting to intervene if anything should go awry.

Phoebe cleared her throat. "Is anything wrong, Miss…"

The interviewer looked startled by the question. "Layla," she said with a laugh. "And no not really. It's just." Layla glanced at her recorder. With a frown she waved her hand across its front. The light powered down and the recorder dropped into Layla's palm. "Look, I'm going to level with you Baroness Hemsworth. My superiors? They want me to ask you, pardon my language, some really bullshit questions."

Phoebe sighed. "Let me guess. Something along the lines of my dietary habits and who does my hair?"

Layla grimaced. "Also questions about your love life," she said. At least she had the good grace to look embarrassed. "I thought that when I took this assignment I was going to be able to talk to you about serious stuff! You are the youngest LLC inventor, you're the heiress to one of the most influential LLC dynasties, and you've gone toe to toe with the Varelsi in defense of Solus!"

Phoebe beamed. "Why yes, I've done all of that." She sipped her tea. "I must say you're an improvement compared to the last gentleman they sent."

Layla looked confused so Phoebe elaborated. "Skinny fellow with a bushy beard. Used an eye-link recorder. Spent 95% of the interview staring at my chest?"

"Oh my god, that sounds like Caleb." Layla buried her face in her hands. "They sent Caleb fucking Didderson to interview you? Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

Phoebe chuckled. "It's quite all right. I'm just glad to not be dealing with him this time around. But," she leaned forward, "That does bring to question what will be done about this interview."

Layla glanced at her hands. "I don't want to ask you these questions." She admitted. "They're bullshit and sexist as hell. They don't do you justice."

"So don't."

"Pardon?"

Phoebe shrugged. "Don't ask them. Ask the questions that you want to ask. What's the worst that they can do?"

Layla arched a brow. "They can fire me." She pointed out. And that was true.

Phoebe laughed. "If they fire you then you can come work for us. We've recently had some, let's say, problem employees. Tell me, do you have a background in investigative journalism?"

Layla blinked. "Yes, actually. Engineering Advancements Today hired me straight out of college. I, um, had an in—my friend Douglas. I figured it would look good on my resume and give me experience since they're—supposed to be—a reputable magazine."

"Splendid! Unfortunately, the position would be more investigative and less journalism. You'd be doing background checks, investigating their previous history, making sure that they are who they claim to be on their applications." Phoebe took another sip of her tea.

"Hypothetically," Layla said. "How much would that pay?" Since it was out of her career field, Layla wanted to be sure it was worth it. After all, she had bills to pay.

Phoebe wrote down a number on a napkin and handed it to Layla. Layla looked at what she wrote. She looked up at Phoebe then back at the paper. "Are you serious?"

"I would never kid about such a thing." Phoebe said gravely. "Now unfortunately the position is only part-time at the moment—ˮ

"This is part-time?!"

Phoebe frowned at the interruption, but continued nonplussed. "As I was saying, the position is part-time at the moment, but should you prove yourself there could be opportunity for it to become full-time with an increase in pay."

Layla stared at the paper in her hand. Finally, she slipped the napkin into the breast pocket of her vest. "Um," she cleared her throat. "I will need some time to think about this."

"Of course," Phoebe said with a genteel smile. "Marquis? Be a darling and provide Miss Layla with one of my cards. I do hope to hear from you. Now," Phoebe clapped her hands. "Shall we commence with the interview?"

"Sure." Layla grinned. She glanced at the index card with the questions provided by her editor. Layla ripped them in half and placed them on the table. She turned her recorder back on and started her interview. "This is Layla Rodriquez of Engineering Advancements Today beginning my interview with Baroness Phoebe Elizabeth Audelia Hemsworth IV of the Last Light Consortium…"

Roald Kimmel was a sweaty little man, with thinning red hair combed into a swoop and held to his scalp by gel. He was the head of the Acquisitions department at Hemsworth Intelligence and he had worked for the company for over fifteen years.

One would think that given his tenure with the company, Mr. Kimmel would learn better organizational skills when it came to important paperwork.

Marquis kept his eye trained on Kimmel as he stood behind Phoebe's seat. The heiress was looking over the stained paperwork that Kimmel had given her at the beginning of the meeting. Kimmel was drenched in sweat despite the office temperature being set at a pleasant seventy degrees. "Mr. Kimmel," the man looked like a spooked haresburra at the sound of Phoebe's voice. "I'm noticing some discrepancies in your paperwork. It says here that on 199962 d. 72, you approved an order for sixty minion bots and eighty loader bots for Hemsworth Arms? I've spoken with Tobias Kinkaid who acts as overseer in Hemsworth Arms, and he tells me that he has yet to see the robots that were ordered. Now, how does one misplace a hundred and forty robots?"

"Um, well you see Baroness Hemsworth, ma'am." Marquis was amazed the human didn't pass out from lack of fluids. "What happened was I may have written down the wrong coordinates?"

Phoebe fixed him with a steely glare. "You may have or you did? These chocolate and coffee stained forms seem to say that that is indeed what you did. Now Mr. Kimmel, please tell me how you've worked for Hemsworth Intelligence for…," She glanced at her information. "Fifteen and a half years and yet you still don't know the correct coordinates?"

Roald Kimmel dabbed at his forehead with his already soaked hanky. "I was having an off day?" he whispered. "Happens to the best of us, right?"

Phoebe was having none of that. "An off day?" she repeated mockingly. "I'm sorry but I don't believe losing a hundred and forty bleeding robots at a cost of 980,000 credits can be called 'an off day'. That is what we like to refer to as a royal fuck up, Mr. Kimmel!"

Kimmel flinched. "Miss Hemsworth," he said weakly. "When your father hired me—ˮ

"Oh, please tell me you're not going to try to play that card." Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Here's the deal, Roald. Daddy has seen it fit to leave the majority of the company's day to day workings in my hands. He believes that it will provide me with valuable hands-on experience with the company that I'm going to inherit." She smiled. "And it has worked wonders I must say. But that's enough about me. Back to you. You're fired."

"Fired?" Kimmel sputtered like a dying engine. "You can't fire me!"

"Really?" Phoebe placed a hand on her bosom and gasped. She looked over her shoulder at Marquis with a smirk. "Did you hear that, Marquis? Mr. Roald Kimmel says that I can't fire him!"

"I believe he's mistaken, ma'am." Marquis sniffed. "You have in your hands 980,000 credits worth of reasons why you most certainly can fire him."

"Excellent point, Marquis! As per usual," Phoebe smiled. She turned her attention back to Roald Kimmel who was turning an interesting shade of puce. "You are fired, Mr. Kimmel. Clear out your desk, turn in your credentials, and please see yourself off the premises." Phoebe's fingers danced over her datapad. "Security has been informed of your termination as well as HR. Your ID badge will automatically shut down within the hour giving you Level 0 clearance. This office," she said with a wave of her a hand, "Requires Level 2 and above to access and if you're still here I'm afraid the proper procedure will see you being both maced and tazed for your trouble."

Roald Kimmel rounded his desk and grabbed Phoebe by her arms. "You can't do this!" he shouted. His eyes were wild. "I'll have to leave the LLC!"

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Mr. Kimmel please unhand me. You're only making the situation worse."

"You pompous arrogant bitch!" Kimmel snarled, spraying Phoebe with spittle. "You have any idea—auugh!"

Marquis had taken a firm grip on Kimmel's right wrist and was gradually applying pressure. The Magnus's usually blue ocular was now glowing a dangerous red. "Baroness Hemsworth asked you to release her. If you do not comply I will pound your worthless meat body into unemployable paste."

"You're hurting me!"

"Ja, that's the idea."

Kimmel moved back, removing himself from Phoebe's personal space. He cradled his wrist and gave both Phoebe and Marquis a wounded look. "I should sue." He muttered.

Phoebe got to her feet. She smoothed down her overcoat and shot Kimmel a poisonous look. "Try it," she said with a sneer. "Good-bye, Mr. Kimmel. I wish you good luck with whatever lies in your future. Do not expect a reference from us."

When they were in the elevators, Phoebe gave Marquis a look of admonishment. "I had the situation under control, Marquis."

The Magnus chuckled. "I'm sure." He said. Marquis took her hand in his, brushing his thumb gently over her knuckles. He positioned his body to shield his actions from the cameras. "Can you not humor me and allow me to act chivalrous every once in a while?"

Phoebe smiled. "I suppose." She said softly. She gave his hand a squeeze before releasing it just as the elevator door's slid open. "Just don't make a habit of it or I'll think you're treating me like a damsel."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

After a maintenance tour which left Phoebe wanting to pull out her hair, Marquis decided that maybe they could both benefit from some time away from the LLC. Phoebe floated up the ramp of Marquis's gold-plated victory yacht, followed by the minion bots carrying her luggage. "Father, I'm sending you a copy of invoices so that you can see for yourself why my firing Mr. Kimmel was totally justified." Phoebe said over her comm as she took a seat by Marquis.

"Phoebe, darling," Baron Bertholomew Hemsworth said over the comm. "I'm sure that your judgement is sound, but—ˮ Phoebe suppressed a scream. "Roald is a dear family friend. I'm sure that whatever amount he lost—ˮ

With a few taps of her fingers, Phoebe emailed her father the information she'd obtained from her earlier meeting. She gave her father a few seconds to open the attachment and peruse the documents.

"Oh." Lord Hemsworth said on his end. "My goodness. That's…" he coughed and cleared his throat. "That is a substantial loss."

"Yes, Daddy-kins it is." Phoebe folded her arms. "And did I mention that he attacked me?"

"He did what?"

"Oh yes. He took his termination poorly. Lord knows what would have happened is Marquis wasn't there." Phoebe would have been able to take care of the problem, but sometimes it helped if her father thought she was in danger. Of course, he wasn't pleased to learn that it was Marquis had come to her rescue if the silence was anything to go by.

"Yes," Baron Hemsworth sounded like he was speaking through clenched teeth. "How fortunate that Marquis was there."

Marquis glanced in Phoebe's direction. The fact that Baron Hemsworth hated Marquis made his inner wirings tingle with pleasure. Well, that and the fact that he didn't know that Marquis was sleeping with his daughter on a regular basis.

Phoebe tossed Marquis a smile. "I'm so glad Marquis was there, Daddy." Phoebe made her voice sound sugary sweet. "To think you wanted to fire him! For shame! Time and time again he's proved himself invaluable to me."

Marquis could practically hear her father stewing. "We did hire that Alpian fellow to act as your bodyguard, my dear." Baron Hemsworth pointed out tersely. "Perhaps you would benefit from having him around more."

"Daddy, you know that El Dragón is attempting to make his return to the ring! And don't forget his mother has recently taken ill, so he's spending more time with family."

Baron Hemsworth harrumphed. "Yes, yes. I would just feel more comfortable if you had some other company besides that, that Magnus," he said the word with extra disgusted emphasis. Marquis's eye narrowed. "Which reminds me; have you had a chance to look over the updated list of suitors that your mother sent? I offered some suggestions this time around for some promising candidates."

Phoebe rolled her eyes heavenward. "Did Mummy send me a list?" her voice painted the picture of innocence. "I simply must look over my holonet account settings. I feel like Mummy's messages keep being sent to my spam folder for some reason. How very odd!"

"Yes. How very odd, indeed."

"Well, Daddy-kins I do enjoy our conversations, but I must be going. Marquis and I are going to go spend time with the other Battleborn. Captain Ghalt might even give me a mission!"

"Phoebe darling, you know how I feel about you associating with those people…"

"Daddy-kins, everyone needs a hobby. You and Grandfather have your hunting. Mummy has her society meetings. I kill Varelsi. Hobbies!"

Her father sighed. "You're right my dear." He sounded weary. "Just be careful, won't you? Your mother and I would be at a loss if anything were to happen to you."

Phoebe felt herself tear up. "Daddy…" Her father was not known for his sentimentality, so this was quite the surprise for her.

"After all, we invested a lot of time, money, and effort into raising you. It would be such a waste if you were to just go and get yourself killed! Not to mention terribly selfish."

And he ruined it. He just fucking ruined it. Marquis shook his head. Unbelievable.

"Goodbye, Father." Phoebe shut off her comm. The last of the luggage had been loaded and the minion bots exited the yacht. "Ugh."

Marquis closed the door of the ship. He sent a message to NOVA, requesting coordinates to the Battleborn's current location. NOVA sent him a response a few seconds later and he typed the coordinates into his dash. "I could kill him." Marquis said.

Phoebe sighed and draped an arm over her eyes. "Yes, Marquis my love, I know. You only suggest it about once every week."

"I just want you to know that the offer still stands."

Phoebe stood and walked over to him so she could give him a kiss. The Magnus may not have lips, but the intent was still the same. "Marquis, you are so good to me, but please don't kill my father. No matter how annoying he is."

Marquis pulled Phoebe into his lap. "If that is what you want." He said. "Now, based on my calculations and the coordinates that NOVA gave me, we have an hour before we reach them."

Phoebe gave him a teasing smile. "Oh my," she said and started to undo his tie. "Whatever shall we do to pass the time?"

With a growl, Marquis hoisted her onto his shoulder and started to carry her towards the bedroom. Phoebe squealed with laughter. "Marquis!" she giggled. "Put me down this instant! This is most undignified!"

Marquis gave her rump a pat. "I can't hear you, meine Blume." He said with a chuckle.

Phoebe blew a lock of hair out of her face. "You are absolutely incorrigible."

"NOVA calling Kapitalgewinn. Come in, Kapitalgewinn. Seriously, where are you guys?"

Phoebe jogged for the intercom on the dashboard. She yelped as she tripped over her skirts and went tumbling to the floor. "Damn it." Phoebe muttered. She crawled the rest of the way to the dashboard.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

"Ahem! Yes! Hello, NOVA! Phoebe here! How are you?"

The Magnus was silent for a moment. "I'm fine." NOVA said. "Um, you okay? You sound out of breath. It, um, also took you a minute or two to get your response. Is everything okay on your end?"

Phoebe laughed a laugh that went on for too long. "Of course I am! What a silly question! My goodness! I was simply in the loo. Yes. That's something we humans need to do every now and again."

"Uh-huh. Where's Marquis? He doesn't need to do that."

Phoebe spluttered. "What's with all the questions, NOVA?"

"Sorry. There's just not a lot to do around here. Besides, for all I know you could be a Varelsi shapeshifter trying to trick me into letting you inside."

Phoebe blinked. "Varelsi…? Is there such a thing as a Varelsi shapeshifter?"

"I dunno." NOVA admitted. "We don't know anything about them."

"That's true." Phoebe said. She climbed to her feet and took a seat. "We barely know anything about them. Given the different shapes of their physiology and the different variety of their fauna, it is entirely possible that they might possess the ability to shapeshift."

"Really?" NOVA sounded interested. "To be honest, I was kinda bullshitting you, but if you think there's actually some credibility to this…"

"Of course! I mean look at the Varelsi Menagerie horror!" Phoebe bounced up and down in her seat. "Oooh, I wish they didn't evaporate when we killed them. I would love to dissect one of them."

Marquis walked into the room, fully dressed and looking as orderly as usual. "Is there a problem, Phoebe?"

"Oh, I was just talking to NOVA. We were discussing the possibility of Varelsi shapeshifters!"

"That actually sounds terrifying."

"I know, right?" NOVA said. "By the way, what's the password?"

"Password?" Phoebe looked at Marquis who shrugged. "I don't know any password. Since when do we have a password?"

"We don't." NOVA admitted. "I've run it across by Ghalt but he says that sounds a little paranoid. Plus, there's the fact that a lot of the crew probably wouldn't remember a password to save their lives. I just thought it might be fun."

Phoebe and Marquis exchanged a look. "NOVA, how's that robot suit coming?" Marquis asked.

"It's not." NOVA said in a flat tone. "Kleese keeps putting it off. I don't think he's ever going to make it. I'm so bored."

Phoebe wasn't surprised. Kleese was a miserable old goat who wrote checks that were too big to cash. "I'm going to be honest. You shouldn't rely on Kleese. How about this? I'll get the schematics from Kleese and see what Hemsworth Intelligence can do."

"What?" NOVA exclaimed. "You mean it?"

"It shouldn't be hard." Phoebe said. "I mean, with the combined workforce of Hemsworth Intelligence—"

"Phoebe, you have no idea how much this means to me!" NOVA sounded beside herself with joy.

Phoebe smiled. "Happy to help, NOVA." Also happy to spite Gunnar Kleese, but NOVA didn't need to know that. "Now how about letting us in?"

"Sure thing," NOVA said. "Opening bay doors for Kapitalgewinn. Hope you're both decent," she added before ending the call.

Phoebe gaped at the dashboard. "The very cheek!" she scowled.

Marquis gave Phoebe a once over. "Your top, meine Blume."

"What about it?"

"You're not wearing one."

"I keep tellin' you fools, it's not mine!"

"Well, if it's not yours, Reyna then whose is it?"

"Uh, how the hell am I supposed to know?"

The Battleborn were gathered in debriefing room. They stood in a circle staring down at something on the floor.

It was a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test complete with digital balloons and confetti on the little LED screen.

"So, like, one of you is going to be a mom?" Oscar Mike said. "Mellka, you'd be a great mom!"

"Um thanks?" Mellka frowned. "But that's not mine."

"You sure?"

"Am I sure that I didn't purchase a pregnancy test, pee on it, and then drop it? Mm yeah I'm pretty sure."

"Wait, you have to pee on that thing?" Oscar Mike recoiled. "Sick, bro!"

"Oscar, sweetie." Deande sighed. "How do you think pregnancy tests work?"

"Deande?" Whiskey Foxtrot took a step forward. "Do you know how pregnancy tests work because this one is yours?"

"What? No, it's not mine! I know how pregnancy tests work because I'm over 1,000 years old, Foxtrot!"

"I was just checking, honey!"

Deande's cheeks reddened. "Well, check with someone else!"

Pendles sat in the corner practically doubled over with laughter. The former spy mistress glared at him. "For all we know it's Alani's. Would serve you right with all that fake baby talk."

The laughter died in the Roan's throat. He turned to Alani who had been standing beside him. Pendles made a choking noise. "Oh my god, Pendles! Breathe! It's not mine! Deande, don't do that to him!"

The Jennerit ex-spy mistress crossed her arms and sniffed. "Apologies," she said in a tone that clearly said she didn't mean it.

Phoebe and Marquis entered the room, drawn by the commotion. "What's all this?" Phoebe asked. She parted the group and glanced at the floor. Phoebe groaned loudly. "Not this again." She stooped to pick up the pregnancy test and went to throw it in the nearest garbage can.

"Whoa! Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Dude, not cool!" Oscar Mike yelled. "That's someone's pee stick! You, like, need their permission before you throw it away or something!"

Phoebe stared at him. "It's ISIC's."

"Um," Oscar Mike scratched the side of his helmet. "Well, I'm confused. I'm pretty sure ISIC doesn't—"

"No! I mean, this is his handiwork. Kleese, you remember! He pulled this same stunt at the Expo a year ago!"

"Oh my god," the elderly scientist gasped. "Now that you mention I do recall something like that happening. Yes! Someone threw a fake pregnancy test among the crowd."

Phoebe nodded. "Duke Leeland got into a fistfight with Lord Kensington because he found out that he was having an affair with his wife."

"It got ugly." Kleese agreed.

"I guarantee ISIC is somewhere nearby laughing at the chaos he caused. Isn't that right, ISIC?"

"Nooooo." ISIC's voice replied from inside a utility closet.

"Get out here, ISIC!" Phoebe ordered.

The Magnus trundled out of the closet. "Hiya fellas! How's it going?"

"I can't believe you did that stupid pregnancy test trick again!" Phoebe scowled. "What is wrong with you?"

"Oh wow, where do I start?" ISIC chuckled. "But you're right, I shouldn't use something more than once. It's uncreative."

"Wait! That's not—"

"I should come up new and exciting ways to sew chaos and undo the boring pit of boredom that's become my very existence. Haha!" ISIC sighed pleasantly. "Well, I'm off to do just that! Thanks, Phoebe!" ISIC turned and trotted off.

Phoebe stared at the Magnus's retreating back. "Oh, that can't be good." She muttered.

"We'll deal with ISIC later." Ghalt said. "Right now, I got intel on a Varelsi portal bloom in the old Ocoban Mining Facility. I need—"

"Ooh! Me! Me!" Phoebe waved her hand. "I want to kill things! It's been that kind of day."

"Um, okay." Ghalt said. "Phoebe, Marquis, Rath, Miko, and Caldarius we'll drop you at Ocoban to clear it out."

Marquis trudged through the snow, muttering about how the dampness was going to ruin his expensive shoes. Caldarius was soaring somewhere above them. Phoebe had bolted off the ship as soon as they landed, eager to stick her sabers into Varelsi flesh. He worried about her. Not about the bloodlust, he wasn't about to judge her for that. MINREC knows how many organics he'd kill since the Great Severance. No, Marquis worried about that Phoebe was being overworked. Her father's failing health was causing him to remove himself more and more from the company and leaving Phoebe to handle it. It astounded the Magnus with how selfish Baron Hemsworth could be at times. Phoebe was more than capable of running Hemsworth Intelligence and all of its subsidiaries, but she shouldn't have to!

The nerve of that lout questioning her decisions. Marquis groused. Phoebe had undeniable proof that Kimmel was in the wrong, but he still questioned her decisions. Arschloch.

Speaking of his lady love, where was she?

"Sorry to bother everyone," Phoebe's voice huffed over the comm. "But I've seem to have bitten off more than I can chew. A little assistance would be appreciated."

Oh no. Marquis held his hat as he sprinted. "Phoebe, where are you?"

"Over by the—keep your disgusting nightmare hands to yourself! I'm over by the cliffs! Oh god, it's a Menagerie! The bloody Conservator summoned a Menagerie!" She started screaming.

"Over by the cliffs. Over by the cliffs. Which cliffs?"

"Spotted Lady Hemsworth." Caldarius's voice said over the comm. "Attempting rescue."

Well, the good news was that Marquis was able to follow the sound of the Jennerit's rockets to Phoebe's location. The bad news was that by the time he got there, the fight was over and Caldarius was cradling a barely conscious Phoebe in his arms.

Phoebe's eyes fluttered open. Her midsection was soaked in blood from the three claw marks slashed into her flesh "Mm, Caldarius? Whatever are you doing here?" Her voice was weak. "Oh, how embarrassing."

"Easy, Miss Hemsworth." The ex-gladiator said. "Miko is on their way. Try not to make it worse."

The Hemsworth heir nodded. "This has just been the worst day." She complained.

Caldarius chuckled. "I'm sure that it has been."

"You have a lovely laugh."

"Why thank you. You have a lovely everything."

"Oh! My goodness!" Phoebe blushed.

Marquis had heard enough. Who the hell flirts (if one could call that flirting) with someone bleeding to death?! "Baroness Hemsworth!" Marquis called. "I'm on my way."

"Marquis!" Phoebe smiled. "I'm so happy to see you! Also embarrassed. I made a right mess of everything, didn't I?"

"Shh, save your energy," the Magnus told her. "Where's that mushroom?"

"They're on their way." Caldarius said. "Lady Phoebe perhaps you should try staying awake."

"Ohh, but I'm so sleepy!" Phoebe protested. She closed her eyes. "Just let me rest."

"Put her down," Marquis ordered. "I'll take care of her."

"I think not." Caldarius said. He angled away from Marquis. "Lady Hemsworth needs protection. Something that you apparently can't adequately supply."

Marquis's eye flashed. "Excuse me?" he snarled. "I have been protecting Phoebe for over eighteen years!"

"If that's true, I'm surprised she's still alive."

Marquis took a step forward, gripping Brindlebane tightly. "At least I know that with stomach wounds you're supposed to lay her down and hold her feet up and bind them with bandages, you oaf!"

Caldarius stiffened. "In my defense," he said, "I'm more inclined to cause bleeding then stop it."

"Put her down!"

"You can't order me to do anything, you fucking tin can!"

It was then that Miko appeared. The combat botanist spotted Phoebe and ran over to her. They ripped off their head and threw it to the ground. The rooted mushroom cap poured out healing spores to help Miko's biosynthesis beam. Miko kept working, but they occasionally glanced between Marquis and Caldarius wholly aware of the tension between them. They weren't sure what they interrupted, but they thought it best not to comment on it.

Phoebe opened her eyes. "Hello, terrifying mushroom," she smiled.

Miko chuckled. "Hello, Phoebe," they replied. "All things are extinguished in the end, such is the natural order. However, it is not your time. Rest now. Doctor's orders." Miko turned to address Marquis. "The bleeding has stopped and our healing shall take care of the rest." Miko smiled. "Sadly, the dress cannot be salvaged," they said as a way to lighten the mood.

"Thank you," Marquis doffed his hat to the Eldrid healer. "Your assistance is most appreciated."

Miko bowed. "We do our best."

Marquis eyed Caldarius. "I suppose you'll be carrying her back to the ship?"

"You suppose correctly," the Kemessian sounded like he was smirking beneath his mask. "After all, I was the one who saved her."

"Fick dich ins Knie!" Marquis spat.

Caldarius blinked. "What?"

Marquis coughed, embarrassed by his outburst. "Ah…It means you have my gratitude," he lied. "Captain Ghalt! I would much appreciate an immediate retrieval. Baroness Phoebe has been injured."

"We're on our way," Ghalt said over the comms. "Try to hang on."

Caldarius eyed Marquis. "What?" Marquis snapped.

"I don't think what you said means what you told me."

"Well, then you're not as stupid as you look, Caldarius."

"Really, I'm fine!" Phoebe said. Caldarius had set her down on sofa in the briefing room. Marqis hovered by her side. "My pride is the only thing really damaged by this ordeal."

"Really?" Reyna said. "That giant hole in your dress and the blood say differently. What the hell happened?"

Phoebe covered her eyes with her arm and groaned. "I have had such a horrible day! I thought I could just release some steam by killing some Varelsi. I was so busy stabbing that I didn't notice I was surrounded and that they had summoned the bloody Conservator until it was too late." Phoebe scowled. "It was foolish and sloppy." She sighed. "Luckily, Caldarius was there to help."

The ex-gladiator shoved his way past Marquis and knelt down. "I was happy to help you, Phoebe." He took her hand and pressed the back of it against the part of his mask where his mouth would be. Phoebe let out a surprised giggle.

Marquis felt a strong urge to cave in the Jennerit's skull.

"Uh-oh," Whiskey Foxtrot whispered to Reyna. Reyna glanced at Marquis, feeling the Magnus's rage even from where she was standing, and she had to agree.

Marquis clapped his hands together. "Well, Phoebe has had a long day." He said. "Perhaps, I should get her to bed."

"I can help." Caldarius said.

"I don't need your help!" Marquis roared. He winced at his outburst.

Phoebe stared at him. "Marquis?" She studied him, perplexed. "Are you quite all right?"

"Ah yes. Apologies, Madam." Marquis bowed his head. "It has been a stressful day."

Phoebe's eyes softened. How could she have been so insensitive? Marquis must have been so worried about her when he saw Phoebe in that state. "You're right." She said. Phoebe held out her hand and allowed Marquis to help her to her feet. "Well, everyone I bid you a good evening. Caldarius? Thank you again."

"My pleasure, Lady Phoebe." The ex-gladiator bowed.

Phoebe and Marquis exited the room, but not before Marquis threw one a final scathing look in Caldarius's direction.

When they were gone, Reyna turned to Caldarius. "Man, you are playin' with fire," she said. "Marquis looked like he was ready to straight up murder you."

Caldarius snorted and got to his feet. "I'm not afraid of Marquis."

"No one's saying you should be," Rath told him. "But perhaps you should err on the side of caution. Maybe not goad him so much?"

"It's not my fault he was too slow to do his job properly." Caldarius took a seat on the couch. "His wounded pride is not my concern."

"Dude," Whiskey Foxtrot said. He folded his arms. "You know this is about a lot more than his pride. You were flirting with Phoebe—In front of him."

"Phoebe didn't seem that put it out."

"Uh, Phoebe gave up on you a long time ago and probably just thinks you're being weirdly friendly." Reyna said.

Caldarius groaned. "She did?"

"The girl was throwing you every signal and it bounced off you like you had upped your shield strength." Reyna chuckled. "She just assumed you weren't into her and moved on. Besides she and Marquis are back together. Not to mention you were flirting with her when she was all woozy with blood loss, you weirdo. Marquis on the other hand knows what you were doing and he doesn't appreciate it." The Rogue commander frowned. "Not my business, but maybe you should tread carefully."

"I'm afraid that this dress is unsalvageable." Phoebe lamented. She stood in her underwear holding the bloody dress up for inspection. With a sigh she tossed it into the trash. "Blast." Phoebe climbed into bed. "What a day."

Marquis undressed and joined her. He raised his internal heat before moving close to spoon Phoebe. "I'm sorry you were hurt. I should have worked harder to protect you."

"Marquis, you can't be everywhere all the time." Phoebe chuckled. She gave his hand a pat. "Besides, it was my fault. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I was imagining that the Varelsi I was stabbing were my father and Roald Kimmel. Not healthy, I know."

Marquis joined her in her laughter. "Very naughty, Phoebe." He said merrily. The Magnus quickly sobered. "In all seriousness, you should be more careful."

"I know, I know." Phoebe sighed. She went silent for a moment. "Marquis? What was that back there? You and Caldarius seemed to be at one another's throats for some reason."

Marquis was puzzled. Did she not realize…

Mein gott, she doesn't! Marquis felt gleeful laugh bubbling in his throat. She didn't realize Caldarius was flirting with her! All his effort was for nothing! Serves him right.

Phoebe was startled by the sound of Marquis's maniacal laughter. "Good heavens, Marquis!"

"Apologies, Phoebe." The Magnus dialed it back. "I just thought of a funny joke about a duck and…it's not important meine Blume. You need your rest."

Phoebe closed her eyes. "What would I do without you?" she whispered.

"And please include more scrambled eggs," Marquis told Whiskey Foxtrot. "She loves yours scrambled eggs."

Whiskey Foxtrot assembled the to-go plate. "The secret is love." The clone told him.

Marquis stared at him. "Really?"

"Nah, I'm just fucking with you. It's cayenne pepper. I use that instead of black pepper."

"Fascinating." Marquis said drily. "Could you give her some toast too?"

Whiskey sighed. "Always a pleasure talking to you, Marquis."

Oscar Mike ran up. "Bro! You totally have to give me another plate of pancakes! Fast!"

Whiskey Foxtrot frowned. "Seriously? That's like your—wait," he narrowed his eyes. "Please tell me you're not getting into another eating contest with Montana. You know you can't beat him. No one can! Except El Dragón and maybe Ghalt."

"I totally can this time!" Oscar Mike protested. "I got, like, a strategy!"

"Oscar, babe. You know how this is gonna end."

"Yeah, total victory!"

"No," Whiskey Foxtrot sighed. "It's going to end with you barfing all over the floor. Remember meatball sub night?"

Oscar Mike hung his head for a second. "I can beat him this time. I feel it in my guts!" the clone belched. "No, wait. That's something else."

"Deande!" Whiskey Foxtrot called. The Jennerit looked up from her plate. "Please come save Oscar Mike from himself."

Deande walked over. "What's happening?" she asked.

"Eating contest…with Montana."

"Oh dear lord." Deande sighed. "Honey, no. Remember meatball hoagie night?"

"Ugh, my stomach."

"Yep," Deande took him by the arm. "Let's get you to Beatrix."

Oscar Mike perked up. "Awesome! She's got candy!"

"No. No, Oscar we're not going for candy." Deande sighed. "Whiskey, would you be a dear and put my plate on the warmer. I'll be back for as soon as I get Oscar looked at."

Caldarius entered the mess hall. Marquis narrowed his eye at the sight of him. Caldarius felt the weight of the Magnus's stare and smirked before making his way over to the meal line. "Morning, Whiskey Foxtrot, Oscar Mike, Deande." Caldarius nodded at them. He turned to the Magnus. "Marquis," he said, his tone icy.

"Caldarius." Asshole.

"Collecting food for Miss Phoebe? How useful of you."

Deande looked between Caldarius and Marquis. "Um, Oscar Mike we should go." The Jennerit spy mistress said. She tugged at his arm.

Oscar Mike was too busy looking back at the table where Montana was chugging a bottle of syrup. "Huh?"

"Well, I'm just being courteous." Marquis said. "Phoebe needs to stay in bed and rest. She was injured."

"Yes, I'm aware." Caldarius replied. He folded his arms. "I was the one who saved her."

Marquis's hand tightened into a fist. "Yes." He ground out. "I remember."

Caldarius shifted his weight to one leg and studied the Magnus. "You never did thank me." He pointed out. "I can only imagine what would have happened to you if Miss Phoebe died."

"Watch yourself, Caldarius." Marquis growled.

"Whatever for?" the ex-gladiator asked. "Do I make you nervous, Marquis?"

"Pah! Hardly!"

Caldarius tilted his head to side and studied the Magnus. "I do. I do make you nervous." The Kemessian sounded delighted. "And do you know why?"

The rest of the mess hall had gone quiet. "Foxtrot love, Oscar and I will see you later. Okay? Bye! Come along, Oscar!" Deande successfully tugged the clone out of the room.

"Wait," Oscar Mike said. "What's going on?"

"Tell you later, love. Let's get you to Beatrix!"

"I said, do you know why I make you nervous, Marquis?" Caldarius ignored the others.

Marquis folded his hands on top of Bindlebane. It would take a mere second to activate his gun and shoot the bastard in the eye. "Please enlighten me, hobo."

"Well, it's because—"

"Sorry to interrupt," NOVA's voice ran out, "But Ghalt requests everyone's presence for an away mission."

Caldarius snorted. He walked past Marquis, bumping his shoulder. "To be continued," the Kemessian said.

"I look forward to it." Marquis retorted. He glanced at Whiskey Foxtrot. "Finish fixing that plate so I can get it to Phoebe."

"Right gotcha." Whiskey Foxtrot spooned more eggs and slipped more toast onto the plate. "Here ya go."

"Danke," the Magnus said. He had to get this plate to Phoebe before he found out what Ghalt wanted.

Phoebe gratefully accepted her plate, stating that she just figured out how to fix the collaborations of something she was working so she gave Marquis a kiss before making her way to her lab. Marquis made his way to the briefing room where the others were waiting for intel on the away mission.

Ghalt had been MIA for the last couple of days, busy with diplomatic discussions with Planet Mike, smoothing ruffled feathers at the UPR, and generally keeping everything running smoothly. Reyna said he hadn't been sleeping well, and it was starting to show.

"All right, people," Ghalt said. "We got intel on a Imperium loyal Thrall setting up a beacon on an uninhabited dwarf planet. The mission itself isn't difficult. Get in, destroy the beacon, then get out. That's why I'm only send three of you. Oscar Mike, Marquis, and Caldarius, get ready to head out."

Ghalt was too busy looking at his files to notice the other Battleborn stiffen and cast wary looks at Caldarius and Marquis. "Um, Ghalt?" Mellka took a step forward. "Maybe you wanna reconsider some of your, um, choices?"

"Yeah," Benedict chimed in. "Any reason these three in particular have to go? I mean, I'd be pleased as punch to break in my newest batch of rockets. I could take Caldy's place."

"Or," Mellka offered. "I could take Marquis' place. Just spitballing here."

Ghalt yawned. He waved away their suggestions. "Marquis and Caldarius have had the less amount of away missions this month. It's about being fair."

"Well, what about Kleese?" Mellka demanded.

Ghalt glanced at her, eyebrow arched. "You really trust Kleese down there having Oscar Mike's back?" Mellka's mouth formed a thin line and she stared sullenly at the floor. Ghalt nodded, satisfied. "NOVA, how long before we reach the drop point?

"We're here now, Captain," the Magnus said. "I'm not showing any Thralls on the planet. I think they just set up the beacon and left. Weird."

"See? Easy job." Ghalt smiled. "Off you go."

Oscar Mike saluted and bounded for the hangar doors. Marquis and Caldarius followed silently.

Mellka watched them leave before whirling around to face Ghalt. "What the hell, man?!"

Ghalt seemed startled. "Mell, what's the matter?"
"What's the matter?" the Eldrid mercenary snapped. "Uh gee, I wonder if it has anything to do with how you just sent our boyfriend down to an empty planet with those two feuding assholes!"

"Feuding…what?"

"Wow," Reyna said. "I told you that you needed to take a break." The Rogue commander sighed.

"So, remember how last game night I might have mentioned that Phoebe had a thing for Caldarius?" Benedict scratched at the side of his neck. "And that this time around Caldarius actually listened?"

"Yeah," Ghalt sighed, "Led to a talk about Marquis's robot junk."

Benedict nodded. "Yep! Well, Caldy may have started tryin' to do something about it."

Ghalt looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"He's attempting to woo Phoebe," Rath clarified. "In front of Marquis."

"Ho-lee shit." Ghalt pulled a chair around then dropped into it. He looked at his files. "And I just sent them down there—ˮ

"Together," Mellka growled, "with Oscar Mike in the middle. So I repeat: What. The. Hell?!"

"Hey, I can fix this." Ghalt said. "Let me just call them back."

"They're already off the ship," NOVA informed him. "Sorry."

"Not a problem. I'll just get them on their comms." Ghalt turned to the computer's dashboard. "Marquis and Caldarius. Come in, Marquis and Caldarius." The UPR captain frowned. "Why the hell aren't they responding?"

"Maybe they've already killed each other," ISIC suggested in a cheery tone. "Problem solved." The Magnus looked at Ghalt. "Since you don't need me, can I go back to my room? I got some real neat-o stuff that I'm working on."

Ghalt didn't know which situation he should be concerned more about; Marquis and Caldarius or whatever ISIC wanted to do in his quarters.

Oscar Mike marched through the forest, humming the theme song from One Star to Live completely oblivious to the tension between Caldarius and Marquis until it became too much for even him to ignore. The clone turned to look at the other two. They still had yet to say one word and it was starting to freak him out. "So, um, according to my map the beacon should be over here." Oscar Mike said.

Still no response.

The clone started to whistle nervously but then he remembered he didn't know how to whistle, so he went back to humming.

The beacon was overlooking a gorgeous waterfall. Oscar Mike ran ahead (to check out the waterfall and not because he wanted to get away from the other two) and peered down the cliff. "Whoa, I bet you could do some sick dives off of this thing!" he had to yell to be heard over the rushing water.

Caldarius leveled his submachine gun at the beacon and fired until it was atomized. "Mission complete," the ex-gladiator said gruffly. "As I was saying before, do you know why I make you nervous, Marquis."

"Oh don't even start with me, you cosplaying jackass." Marquis snarled.

Oscar Mike was suddenly aware that maybe these two weren't on good terms. "Hey, dudes!" he said trying to diffuse the situation. "Let me tell you about this cute thing one of my cats did the other day! It was totally awesome!"

"I make you nervous," Caldarius continued ignoring Oscar Mike completely, "Because you're aware of your own inadequacies."

"Hey, have you guys seen that holo-vid of that scalewolf puppy walking on its hindlegs like a person? Heh! How cute was that? Wait, I bet I can pull it up..."

"I don't have any inadequacies." Marquis sneered. "I am the perfect example of LLC ingenuity."

"Oh I'm sure," Caldarius narrowed his eyes. "Tell me. When did the 'fuck your employer's daughter' protocol kick in? Just curious. Did it come installed or was it an update?"

Oscar Mike slowly edged away from them. "Guys," he whispered onto his comm. "I got a situation here that I'm not sure how to handle."

"My relationship with Phoebe didn't start until after she was eighteen." Marquis retorted. His eye flashed. "A relationship that she instigated and pursued. What Phoebe Elizabeth Audelia Hemsworth IV wants, Phoebe Elizabeth Audelia Hemsworth IV gets!"

"Wow. You make it sound like she forced herself on you."

"What?" Marquis sputtered. "Do not go putting words in my mouth, you classless Liberal Arts major!"

"Oscar, is that you?" Mellka said over the comm. "What's going on?"

Oscar Mike sounded close to tears. "Caldarius and Marquis are fighting and I don't know what to do! I tried showing them the scalewolf puppy video, but they just ignored me and it's really tense here. Permission to come home?"

"Ghalt, do something!" Deande could be heard yelling. "You know how sensitive he is!"

"Nuh-uh!" Oscar Mike said in a teary voice. "I'm a badass!"

"We know, Oscar." Mellka said quickly, "It's just, you don't handle situations that you can't shoot your way out of well."

This was true. Didn't mean he had to like it. "Yeah well, how about when I get back to the ship I prove how not sensitive I am by wrestling you into submission and doing push-ups until I vomit? Boom! In your face!"

"Right," Mellka said. "Or I can just put on One Star to Live and make you some hot chocolate."

"Can I have extra marshmallows?"

"You know it, buddy."

"Hell yeah! Let's do that!"

"I don't even work for the LLC technically," Marquis said. "It's just a cover so that Phoebe and I can be together."

"I bet you cash their checks just the same." Caldarius shot back. "How does that work exactly?"

"Ha! I'd love to see Baron Doesn't-Know-His-Own-Passcodes not pay me."

"Wow, stealing from her father. Sure that's the basis of a trusting and healthy relationship." Caldarius turned his back on the Magnus and stared at the waterfall. "And speaking of healthy, tell me. How long have you known Phoebe?"

"All her life," Marquis said proudly. "I raised and protected her as I did her father."

"Ah, I see." Caldarius said in a contemplative tone. "So, you see nothing creepy or unsavory about having a relationship with a woman that you raised from birth?"

"I told you—ˮ

"Yes, yes," Caldarius waved a hand in dismissal. "That you didn't start having a relationship with Miss Phoebe until blah, blah, blah. Still, it makes one wonder. How long have you been, I believe the term is 'grooming'. Yes, how long have you been grooming Miss Phoebe?"

Marquis surged forward and with all the strength he could muster he shoved Caldarius from where he stood. The surprised shock trooper hit the waterfall and tried to activate his jetpack. Unfortunately, the water kept that from happening and Caldarius found himself falling into the river below. He let out an outraged roar as he was swept away by the current.

Marquis leaned over to watch as Caldarius's armored arm disappeared beneath the water's surface.

The Magnus felt incredible. He started laughing, a small chuckle at first before it evolved into an outright cackle.

"Uh," Oscar Mike stared.

"Oscar?" Deande called. "What's wrong?"

"Uhhhhhh…"

Marquis sauntered over to Oscar Mike and took hold of his arm. He chose to ignore how the clone flinched at his touch. "We will be heading back to the ship, ja? The beacon has been taken care of."

"Marquis?" Deande sounded wary. "What happened?"

"Sorry, can't talk now. We will see you soon. Auf Wiedersehen!" The Magnus shut off Oscar Mike's comm. He put a finger to his face plate. "Not a word about Caldarius or I will make you disappear, understand?" Oscar Mike didn't answer. Marquis sighed. "I will take your silence as agreement. Good." The Magnus released the clones arm and started walking to where NOVA would pick them up, singing a jaunty tune.

By the time they reached the ship, Marquis had slowed his pace until he was walking behind Oscar Mike. The Magnus realized that a quiet Oscar Mike wasn't necessarily a good thing. Marquis activated Bindlebane's pistol form. If need be, he'd shoot the clone in the back and dispose of his body. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that. Marquis had no problem slaughtering organics, but Phoebe would be terribly disappointed if he broke their alliance with the rest of the Battleborn over such a trivial thing like murder.

The second that his foot touched the metal of NOVA's ramp, Oscar Mike activated his stealth shield and ran. "Later, nerd!"

"Damn it!" Marquis fired Bindlebane wildly hoping that one of the bullets would hit the clone. "Du mieses Stück Scheiße!"

Oscar Mike ran until he reached the briefing room. "Guys!" he panted. "Marquis shoved Caldarius off a waterfall! Then he threatened to kill me!" Oscar Mike looked behind him and yelped. He sprinted to where Deande, Mellka, and Whiskey Foxtrot stood and hid behind them.

Marquis appeared in the doorway a second later still wielding his gun-cane. The other Battleborn pulled out their weapons. "Marquis," Ghalt said as he leveled his shotgun at the Magnus. "Put away your weapon."

"Of course, Captain." Marquis said in a genteel tone. He didn't put the cane away, but he did lower it. "I, ah, only wish to have a word with Oscar Mike."

"No way!" Oscar Mike said. He peeked from around Deande's side. "He totally wants to shoot me!"

"Or batter you to death," Marquis shrugged. "If I'm honest, shooting you would probably be better. Less chance of you bleeding on me."

"This is why we shouldn't let Magnuses be a part of the team!" Kleese shouted. He activated his shield. "The Great Severance turned them into homicidal freaks!"

"I resent that," ISIC said. "I haven't killed anyone in almost three days!"

"Wait. Who did you…ˮ

"Ha! Ha! It's okay. It was nobody any of you knew."

"Marquis," Ghalt gestured for the Magnus to sit. "What did you do to Caldarius?"

Marquis crossed his legs. "Well, considering that he's filthy unemployed hobo, I decided that Caldarius could benefit from a bath. So, I decided to provide him with a little help."

"You shoved him off a cliff!" Oscar Mike shouted.

"Into a waterfall and subsequently the river below," Marquis clarified. He shrugged. "I do feel terrible about—" Marquis burst into laughter. "Oh, apologies. I really thought I could finish that sentence without laughing."

"Caldarius has returned," NOVA announced. "And he's dripping all over my floor."

"Oh shit." Marquis clamored to his feet. "It was lovely chatting with you. I must be on my way." The Magnus shoved his way past Benedict and Thorn, ignoring their complaints as he did so.

Caldarius appeared in the opposite door. The shock trooper was dripping wet, grass and mud coated his armor. There also appeared to be a snail crawling on his helmet.

"Where is he?" Caldarius roared.

The other Battleborn pointed in the direction that Marquis had fled.

With a snarl, Caldarius sprinted after the Magnus. He paused only to grab Benedict's rocket launcher.

"What the shit do you think you're doin'?" Benedict tried to grab his precious weapon back. Caldarius moved out of his reach.

"I'm borrowing this." The Kemessian said before running off.

"Well, that happened." Reyna said.

There was a moment of silence.

"So," Alani said. "Are we just not going to talk about the person ISIC killed?"

Marquis was glad he didn't have lungs. If he did, they'd probably be on fire. The Magnus just had to make it to Phoebe's lab. There was no way Caldarius would try anything in front of her.

Plus the door had a very good lock.

Marquis had just made it to the medbay when he heard the telltale sound of rockets being launched. He ducked out of the way just as three of them headed his way. They missed him but destroyed the medbay wall.

"What the fuck!" Beatrix exclaimed from inside. The Jennerit physician's face appeared in the hole. "Seriously?"

Caldarius cursed and tossed the rocket launcher away. He pulled out his submachine gun. "This doesn't involve you, Beatrix."

"You just blew a hole in my wall! I feel pretty involved! Why are you wet?"

"This is between me and Marquis." Caldarius eyed the Magnus currently sprawled on the floor. "You shoved me into a river."

"I gave you a much needed bath," Marquis replied in a scathing tone. He got to his feet and dusted himself off. "You're welcome."

"It just kills you doesn't it? That I might actually have a chance with Miss Phoebe."

"It doesn't and you don't."

"Whoa, what is happening here?" Beatrix asked. She looked between Marquis and Caldarius. "And does it involve one of you fixing my wall?"

"You're pathetic," Caldarius said. "You know what your real problem is? You're afraid that one day Phoebe is going to realize that she prefers a warm, organic body opposed to a windup fucktoy!"

Marquis brought the back of hand across Caldarius's helmeted face. The ex-gladiator's head rocked back from the blow. "I challenge you," Marquis seethed. "To a duel!"

"A duel?" Caldarius blinked.

"Ja! To the death! For Phoebe's affection!" Marquis's eye flashed.

Caldarius chuckled. "I accept!" he said.

"Excellent! We're still above the dwarf planet. That shall be our dueling ground. We leave at this very moment."

"Actually, I need to dry off my armor. The dampness is really unpleasant…"

"I admit your constant squelching would be a distraction, but if you think I'm going to allow you to get fully rested..." Marquis looked at his pocket watch. "Mein gott, would you look at the time. It's almost lunch! I have to at least get a sandwich to Phoebe. She gets these breakthroughs and goes to her lab and spends hours there. Sometime she forgets to eat."

Caldarius imagined. "I can imagine. So are we dueling in, like?"

"Hmm, does an hour and a half work for you?"

"Let's make it an even two. That'll give me time to get dry and get some food myself. Can't duel on an empty stomach."

"Ja, two hours should do it." Marquis nodded, distracted as he tried to figure out what he'd bring Phoebe for lunch. "After your two hours I will see you below where I will kill you and be rid of your presence. For good."

Caldarius laughed. "Don't be so sure, Magnus. I'm a warrior. You're a glorified babysitter and butler. It won't even be close."

"We shall see."

They went in opposite directions to prepare.

Beatrix sighed. "I'll just stay in my medbay," she muttered. "That way I won't be a part of the ship's shenanigans. Brilliant plan, Beatrix! Look how that turned out. NOVA, please alert Ghalt that my wall has a freaking hole in it!"

"I already told him." NOVA sighed. "And I told him about the duel. Everyone's taking bets."

Beatrix sighed again. "Of course they are." She tapped her fingers against her syringe arm, lost in thought. "Hey, NOVA could you ask Ghalt that if it's possible that in the event of Caldarius's death I could have his corpse. I always wanted to know what he looks like outside that armor. I would really appreciate it."

"Uh, I'll run it by him. I guess."

"Thank you, NOVA."

Marquis found Phoebe still in her lab. The heiress had taken off her skirt and was currently floating close to the ceiling. "Hello, Marquis!" Phoebe waved. "Ooh, did you bring me lunch? Lovely!"

"Whatever are you doing up there?"

She pointed at her stocking clad legs, covered in coin sized glowing discs. "Well, you know how I use a combination of Eldrid magic and technology to float instead of walk? I created these marvelous little discs that help boost my height. Plus, they're marvelous for working on my core. Aren't they lovely?"

"Beautiful." Marquis agreed. He stared up at Phoebe.

Phoebe looked down at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, meine Blume." Marquis replied in a wistful tone. "I was just thinking about how much I love you."

"Oh, Marquis!" Phoebe tried to reach down for him only to realize she couldn't.
"Oh, wait. Hang on." She spun her arms, furiously. Phoebe frowned as she stayed afloat. "Well, that didn't work. Ooh! I have an idea." She took hold of one of the discs above her knee and pulled until it came free. As soon as it was in her hand, the heiress dropped. "Waaugh!"

Marquis ran forward to catch her. "Phoebe!"

Luckily, she stopped inches from the floor. "I'm okay!" Phoebe moved to take hold of Marquis. She kissed his neck. "I must remember to include that in my notes." She murmured between kisses.

"You will be the death of me, woman." Marquis sighed. He held her in his arms, gently stroking her blonde hair. "I…I must go, meine Blume."

"Aww, what's the hurry?"

Marquis tried to think of a valid excuse. "I'm needed down below." He said. "On the planet."

"I thought you just came back from there."

"I did, but I need to go down there again. You understand. Loose ends and all that."

Phoebe sighed. "Well, I'll see you later for dinner, right? I know you dislike eating in the mess hall, but it would nice to eat with you this evening. Well," she grinned. "I guess it would be more you watching me eat, yes? The point is we'll be together."

Marquis shuddered at the thought at being in the mess hall with the rest of those…barbarians. "Of course, meine Blume. I…would love to."

"Ta-ta, Marquis!" Phoebe slapped the disc back onto her knee. She immediately started to rise. "Wheee!"

Well, that settled that. Marquis gripped Bindlebane tightly in his hand. Caldarius may have a thousand years of experience, he may have his warrior skills, and he may have the knowledge of gladiator, but Marquis wouldn't lose to him. He refused to lose.

Phoebe was waiting for him and the Magnus would be damned if he disappointed her.

Beatrix sighed. "What happened exactly?"

Phoebe cleared her throat. She watched as the Jennerit physician picked bits of glass out of her arm. "Like Icarus I flew too close to the sun."

Beatrix frowned. "What?"

"I tried…to alter the acceleration of my hovering," Phoebe blushed. "Ended up crashing into a table of beakers."

"Wow, that sounds embarrassing."

"It was, trust me." Phoebe winced as the last shard was removed. "Usually I would go to Miko, but I couldn't find them."

"So, you came to me as a last resort." Beatrix rolled her eye. "I'm touched."

"Oh don't be that way." Phoebe said. She noticed the Jennerit's temperament. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Beatrix demanded. She slammed the tweezers down. "I've been here for almost a year and a half and barely anyone comes to me! They all go to Miko or a drone! I'm a capable doctor! Back on Tempest I barely lost any patients."

"Didn't you drug Attikus and try to do a spinal tap?"

"Brainstem biopsy," Beatrix corrected. "But—"

"And you tried to slice up Orendi?"

Beatrix huffed. "Okay, I see your point." She rubbed a hand over her syringe arm, staring deeply into the red liquid inside. "I just wish people would get over it! I'm trying my best. And sometimes it gets lonely."

"Beatrix, I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt this way." Phoebe placed her hand on top of Beatrix's. "You know I consider you a friend."

Beatrix looked shocked by this revelation. "You do?" she said. "Since when?"

"Well, since always." Phoebe sighed. "You know why I like coming here instead of staying at the LLC 24/7."

"Our charming personalities?"

Phoebe chuckled. "Well, yes there is that." She sighed. "I'm a Hemsworth, and I always thought that that name would garner me respect. And in has in a way, but…" Phoebe glanced at her arm. It was bleeding freely. Beatrix dabbed it with alcohol covered gauze. "I have so many people second-guessing me. The board members, the media, even my own parents. It's like no matter what I do, it's never good enough. I feel like if they could, they'd pat me on the head like a dog and send me on my way. Do you know what that feels like? To have people not take you seriously?"

Beatrix leveled her with a cool stare. "Thanks to my mother petitioning for my Sustainment against my wishes, I'm forever stuck with the body of a fifteen-year old girl."

Phoebe nodded. "Right," she coughed. "Fair point. Anyway, the reason I like it here is because I'm not just Phoebe Elizabeth Audelia Hemsworth IV, heiress and all that. Here, I'm Phoebe Elizabeth Audelia Hemsworth IV, Battleborn who just happens to be an heiress. None of you care about my title or my money. You care about what's important." She smiled. "How well I can fight."

That actually got a laugh from Beatrix. "That's true. It is nice to be appreciated." The doctor got quiet. "Why do you consider me a friend? Back when we were on Ekkunar competing, all we did was snipe at one another."

Phoebe laughed. "Beatrix! It's called 'giving each other shit'. That's what friends do. I mean I think. Truth be told I…may not have had many—" she coughed loudly. "Or you know, any friends when I was younger. It's hard to make friends when you're constantly worried about people using you to further their own goals. I did have Marquis though." Phoebe smiled fondly.

Beatrix sighed. "I know that feeling. In order for one to be approved for Sustainment, you have to prove you're an exemplary member of Jennerit society. My mother pushed me to excel academically to impress the Silent Sisters." She looked at her syringe arm. "Not really time to make friends when you're doing twice the normal course load."

Phoebe whistled. "Wait, you said you were Sustained against your wishes? Does that happen a lot?"

Beatrix shrugged. "I was dying. My mother didn't want me to die. I'm sure that she thought she was helping me or maybe she just didn't want to be the Silent Sister with the dead kid. Who knows? Who cares? I'm here now. Nothing else to do about it."

Phoebe took her hand. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you're here. Beatrix. I like you because you challenge me intellectually. If you weren't here who would I rely on to do that?" she snorted. "Kleese?"

They both cracked up at that.

"Oh," Phoebe wiped a tear. "I needed that. But seriously," she gave Beatrix's hand a squeeze. "You are my friend. We're, um, we're Science Buddies! Yes! That works!"

Beatrix considered that. Rolled the concept around in her mind. She decided she liked it. "Um as friends, do we tell each other things?"

"Of course." Phoebe smiled.

"Well, then as your Science Buddy I think should know that Marquis and Caldarius are down on the planet right now about to duel to death over you."

Phoebe's smile looked a bit more frozen. "I'm sorry what?"

"Yeah. They were fighting about you this morning. They did that to my wall." Beatrix pointed.

"Yes. I wanted to ask about the hole, but wasn't sure how to bring it up." Phoebe got to her feet and smoothed down her dress. "Beatrix, thank you for informing me of this. I need to go rectify this. We should hang out more. I'll see you later. Okay?"

"Sure." Beatrix said. "Um, good luck." When Phoebe was gone, the Jennerit physician sighed. "A friend, huh? Wow, it only took seventy years but better late than never." She frowned and went over to her computer. "Computer? Research all information on the following subjects: 'Friends', 'Things Friends Do Together', and 'Activities Friends Do Together'." She paused. "Safe Search filter on. Please and thank you."

Marquis stood across Caldarius. Pendles, ISIC, Shayne and Aurox, and Benedict sat on the sidelines observing.

"Shall we do this the traditional way?" Marquis asked. "Ten paces?"

Caldarius nodded. "Sounds good. Sometimes the old ways are the best way."

"Very well," Marquis knew that he could use his Temporal Distortion to slow Caldarius down if he needed to. Bindlebane was his pride and joy, but realistically there was no way it could go up against Caldarius's submachine gun. If need be, he could use his Temporal Distortion then hit the bastard with a Bindleblast.

"Ready?" Caldarius asked.

"Ready. Ten paces." Ein, zwei, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun…

Marquis whirled around Bindlebane at the ready. Caldarius spun around a split second later.

Zehn!

"Marquis d'Caliber! What in Solus do you think you are doing?!"

Oh. Oh no. Marquis collapsed his gun back into a cane and held it behind his back. "Phoebe."

The heiress stalked toward them, the Five Virtues floating behind her. "Just what is going on here?" she demanded.

Caldarius cleared his throat. "Um, we were just…"

"I know exactly what you're doing! What I want to know is why?" Phoebe turned to the Battleborn watching. "You fucking enablers!" she snarled at them.

"Whoa!" Pendles held up a hand. "It's not like that. We were just, uh, watching in case we needed to step in."

"Not me," ISIC piped up. "I was here to loot their corpses."

Pendles facepalmed. "Goddammit, ISIC." He hissed.

Benedict examined his talons. "I was here to watch Caldarius get shot in the face." He admitted. The Kemessian turned to him. "Don't look at me like that! You stole my rocket launcher! Then you just left it on the fuckin' floor, man! That's just cold!"

Phoebe turned back to Marquis and Caldarius. "So let me see if I understand this situation. You both decided that you wanted to fight over me instead of, oh, I don't know asking my opinion?"

"Phoebe—"

"Miss Phoebe—"

"No! You're both going to listen! If you think you can just fight over me like I'm a prize you're wrong. Marquis, you know how much I value respect. This? This is not respecting me. You both afforded me the same respect as two squabbling toddlers fighting over a toy! I am a Hemsworth. I am neither a toy nor a prize!"

"Phoebe," Marquis took a step forward. "Please allow me to explain."

"I don't—I don't want to talk to you right now, Marquis." Phoebe closed her eyes. "I can't even look at you right now."

"Phoebe…"

She shook her head. "I can't right now. I just came out here to make sure you two didn't do anything irreversible and stupid. I'm going back to the ship." Phoebe left them.

Marquis dropped Bindlebane on the ground. A little uncomfortable by the term of events, the observing Battleborn decided it was time to return to the ship, leaving Marquis and Caldarius alone. Leaving his weapon on the ground, Marquis went to sit on a boulder. "This day has turned to shit." He muttered.

Caldarius took a seat beside him. "We fucked up."

Marquis glanced at him. "We did." He sighed. "She's going to have difficulty forgiving me for this."

"Well, I'll be damned." Reyna whistled. The Rogue commander was wiping down a glass. "Never thought I'd see you in here, Princess. What's up?"

Phoebe took a seat at the table that served as Reyna's bar. "The men in my life are idiots." Phoebe's tone was sullen. "I wish to drink."

"Damn girl," Reyna got her a clean mug and poured her a bottle of beer. It never failed to make her feel more like a bartender. "That is the most relatable thing you've ever said. Let's help you drown some sorrows."

Marquis walked through NOVA feeling despondent. The Magnus has never seen Phoebe so upset. He had never seen her look at him in that manner. And to think, the reason for all these problems was currently walking behind him.

"Why are you following me?" Marquis demanded. He stopped and turned to look at Caldarius. "Haven't you done enough, Jennerit?"

Caldarius stopped as well. He crossed his arms. "First," the shock trooper said. "I'm not a Jennerit. I'm a Kemessian. Secondly, I want fix things with Miss Phoebe."

"You're the reason she's upset in the first place!"

Caldarius scoffed. "I know you're not blaming me for this, robot. As I remember, you share just as much as the blame."

It would be so easy to take his gun and shoot the bastard in the face. "You were the one so keen on goading me! You know I'm with Phoebe and yet you seem intent to drive a wedge between us!"

"Well, you were the one who allowed yourself to be so easily goaded." Caldarius countered. "And I believe that if your relationship is as strong as you say it is, you have nothing to worry about. Of course," Caldarius sounded smug. "Since you are worried about it, it proves that it isn't and if that's the case I want Miss Phoebe to know that she has options." He pointed at himself. "Options," he repeated.

Marquis felt like screaming. Organics! The Magnus was about to tell Caldarius where he could stick his bullshit logic when Reyna comm'd in. "Yo, this is Reyna. You there, Tin Man?"

Marquis was in no mood. "What do you want?"

"Hey, don't get all snippy with me just cuz you fucked things up with your girl." Reyna snapped. "Look, Pheebs is actually the reason I'm calling. After your little stunt she came here wanting to drink so I was happy to get a few beers. Um, turns out she's not so good with Rogue brew. I need you to come and get her. I gotta admit it was funny at first, but now she's crying and snottin' everywhere and it's bummin' everybody out. Reyna, out."

Marquis groaned. Caldarius took a step forward. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Is it Phoebe? Is she hurt?"

"Phoebe is…I need to go get her." Marquis sighed. He hated to do this. He'd rather do anything but this. "I…could use your assistance…" Depending on Phoebe's state, the heiress could get…wriggly. Marquis might need the shock trooper to grab her legs.

It was hard to tell with that stupid helmet, but Caldarius looked taken aback by Marquis's request. "You want my help?"

"Don't get used to it!" Marquis snarled. "And don't believe that this will be a normal occurrence."

Caldarius rolled his eyes. "I'm only going with you to help Miss Phoebe."

Phoebe had her face on the table and was sobbing loudly. Reyna sat by her and was giving her gentle pats on the back as she wept. She hadn't seen the heiress cry this hard since the Wolf Sentry mission. "Phoebe, it's going to be all right."

"No, it's not!" Phoebe raised her head. Reyna didn't know what kind of makeup the LLC produced, but Phoebe's makeup wasn't even smudged. "I'm such a fool!"

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." Phoebe reached for the half empty beer mug only to have Reyna pull it out of her reach. "Aww, the mug moved."

"Sure."

"You don't understand, Reyna. I love Marquis so much. He's always been there for me." Phoebe sighed. "The LLC can be the worst sometimes."

"I can imagine."

"You know my mother keeps sending me lists of suitors? Just lists and lists of men and women that she thinks will 'benefit" the Hemsworth dynasty. How does she think that makes me feel? God, how does that make Marquis feel? He's the one who checks her stupid messages."

Reyna glanced at Thorn who was enjoying a hot cup of tea that was actually only thirty percent actual tea. The Eldrid ranger looked up from her data pad and gave Phoebe a narrowed eyed look of concern. Or annoyance—sometimes it was hard to tell with Thorn. "You really care about Marquis, huh?" the Rogue said.

"Whoops!" Phoebe slipped off the chair. Reyna grabbed her arm and hauled her back into her seat.

Marquis walked in followed by Caldarius. "Phoebe!" the Magnus ran forward. He caressed the side of her face. "Oh dear."

Phoebe's face lit up at the sight of the Magnus. "Marquis!" she sang. "I am quite drunk!"

Marquis gave her an affectionate pat on the cheek. "Yes. Yes, you are." He looked at Reyna. "How much has she had?"

"About five bottles," Reyna shrugged. "My brew is strong, though. Not like that namby pamby stuff the LLC makes. It'll knock you on your ass."

"I'm sure you're proud." Marquis would have rolled his eyes if it were possible. He glanced down at the table. There was a little robot on it, wheeling about. The mini bot opened its mouth and belched a long stream of fire. "What in the hell is that?"

Reyna sighed. "It used to be a napkin holder until your girlfriend got a hold of it. Still don't know how she did it. All she had was a fork and butter knife."

"She is…resourceful." Marquis said fondness in his voice.

Phoebe took that moment to start crying. She leaned forward and hugged the Magnus's neck. "Marquis, I love you so much! I wish things were different!" She blubbered. "I wish I could hold your hand in public and kiss you and do all the things that couples are able to do! It's not fair!"

"Hush, Phoebe it's okay." Marquis patted her back. "Everything will be okay."

"No, it won't." Phoebe wailed. She lurched forward. "Oh wow, I am suddenly sleepy." She leaned against Marquis, cheek on his shoulder.

"Caldarius, help me get her onto my back." Marquis said. "I'm going to carry her to Kapitalgewinn." He sighed. "I think it's time we returned to the LLC."

"Booo," Phoebe protested, her eyes closed.

"I'm afraid you're being outvoted, my dear." Marquis knelt down and let Caldarius to help Phoebe onto his back. Marquis took hold of her arms. "Just like when you were a little girl, ja."

"Whee," Phoebe said, her head falling onto Marqui's shoulder as her eyes fluttered closed. She sniffed and then smiled drowsily. "Piggyback rides."

"Commander Reyna, thank you for watching after her." Marquis told the Rogue. "Um, I'll see if she can return your napkin holder back to its original state when she's better."

"Actually," Reyna leaned over and stroked the mini bot on the head. "I've gotten used to it. It's kinda cute. I think I'm going to call it 'Doug'. You like that, Doug?"

Doug spat out a ball of fire in response.

Marquis carried Phoebe with Caldarius at his heels. Beatrix exited just as they walked past the medbay. "What the hell did you do to her?"

"We didn't do a thing." Marquis told her. "She just had too much to drink."

Beatrix put her hand on her hip. "I want you to know that I've been doing extensive research and I have it on good authority that as Phoebe's best friend I'm required to have a personal bias and therefore I distrust anything you two assholes say."

Marquis scoffed. "You? You're her best friend?"

"I know. Surprised the hell out of me too." Beatrix grinned. "Luckily for you, I can smell whatever she's been drinking. So, I guess you're off the hook. But know that I'll be watching you." She pointed two fingers at her eyes then pointed the same fingers first at Marquis then at Caldarius. Beatrix backed into her medbay never taking her eyes off them.

"Ugh," Marquis groaned. "Now I have to deal with that nonsense."

"If it makes you feel better, she barely leaves that room." Caldarius commented.

"I have a sneaking suspicion that might change."

"But what is the purpose of it being gold? Is it meant to deflect attacks?"

"As I said before," Marquis said as he strapped Phoebe into her seat. "The gold is simply meant to show how incredibly wealthy I am."

Caldarius tilted his head. "Wouldn't the fact that it's a yacht be enough of that? Doesn't the gold seem a bit excessive?"

"If you keep questioning my aesthetic choices you can stay here! If I'm honest, I don't understand why you're here. So either sit down and shut up or leave!"

Caldarius held up his hands in a placating manner and said nothing.

Satisfied, Marquis typed in the coordinates for the LLC, specifically the Hemsworth Guildship. "We'll be home in two hours, my love."

Phoebe snored softly, head hanging to the side. Marquis studied her. "I don't like her in that position. She'll get a terrible crick in her neck. Would you mind putting her to bed?"

"You have a bed? Do you sleep?"

"I power down, yes. The bed is more for Phoebe."

Caldarius nodded and went to carry Phoebe to bed.

Caldarius had never been to the Last Light Consortium. It was very…shiny. The ex-gladiator felt like even the trashcans probably cost more money than he'd ever seen. "So, Phoebe lives here?"

"Lives and works here." Marquis said proudly. "The arcship P.R.I.M. is the seat of the Hemsworth dynasty. It has been in Phoebe's family for over five hundred years. The influential families get to live in the guildships."

"Uh-huh. Why are we running?" Caldarius asked. They weren't really. More of a brisk jog, but it was clear they were in a hurry.

"I don't want anyone to see Phoebe in this condition." Marquis answered. "When you're as big as the Hemsworths everyone is looking for a chance to make you fall. 'Hemsworth Heiress Spotted Blackout Drunk' is not something I want running in the news cycle." Marquis peeked around a corner, found the hall empty and kept moving. "She hasn't made a big deal out of it, but I know she's been having some trouble with the board members. They think that she's not taking her duties seriously what with her constantly running to go fight the Varelsi."

Caldarius growled. "She's helping to defend Solus!" he protested. "How can that be viewed as a negative?"

"Because when she's not here, she's not making the LLC money." Marquis explained. He sighed. "The LLC is about making profits at any cost. Honestly, the only thing that keeps her safe is the Hemsworth name. If it was someone who wasn't as influential they already would have been outed."

"These people are greedy and ungrateful." Caldarius muttered.

Marquis had to agree. "We're here. Here, hold her for a second so I can type in the passcode to her apartment. Let me know if you hear or see anyone coming. I cannot stress how much gossip could hurt her."

Marquis quickly typed in the numerical sequence that served as Phoebe's password. He let Caldarius slip Phoebe back into his arms and ducked inside. "Well?" he looked at Caldarius. "Don't just stand there gawking!"

Caldarius blinked. "You're letting me in?"

"Well, I can't have you standing there drawing attention, now can I?" Marquis snapped. When Caldarius was safely inside, he closed the door and locked it.

Caldarius stared. "This is her room?"

"Nein, this is just the foyer. Her bedroom is further back. Lady Phoebe's apartment has four bedrooms, a mini lab, a fully functional kitchen, laundry area, dining area, parlor for guests, three bathrooms, a private pool, a library, office, gym, a sparring area so Phoebe can practice her fencing, and of course the entertainment area. The apartment is quite small, but Phoebe doesn't complain. She hopes to upgrade it later when she's older." By LLC standards, the suite was quite modest especially given Phoebe's lineage.

He kept calling it an apartment, but Caldarius felt that this was more comparable to a house. "And…this is all for just Phoebe?"

Marquis glanced at Caldarius over his shoulder. "Well, I live here too." He pointed out. "I have a charging station in Phoebe's room for when I need it."

Caldarius looked at the polished marble floors and chandelier. He glanced at the fish tank and the grand piano. "Does Phoebe play?"

"No. She just likes the way it looks. Sometimes when she reads she'll sit on the top of it. Is something wrong?"

"Um, no. It's just a little overwhelming is all." The Kemessian had never seen such a display of wealth and opulence. Caldarius had a feeling that there would be even more opulence on the rest of the ship.

Phoebe's bedroom was as impressive as anything else Caldarius had seen. The second Marquis stepped into the room, the light came on and soft, classical music started to play. "Volume level 2," Marquis ordered. The music lowered immediately. He pulled back the silver duvet of Phoebe's king-sized bed and placed her on the silk sheets. "I'm going to put her in her sleeping gown. "They're in the third drawer of her bureau. The pink one. Grab it for me, I need to get shoes off."

"Right," Caldarius said. He went to retrieve Phoebe's gown, pausing to stare at a small decorative fountain in the corner with alternating lights. Shaking his head, Caldarius went to the drawers and dug around the third one until he found the gown Marquis asked for. Caldarius felt his face heat beneath his helmet. "Are you sure this is right? It looks quite…anyway, I got it."

"Good bring it here."

Caldarius did as he told. Or he would have had he not seen what Marquis was doing. "Holy shit!" The shock trooper shielded his eyes with his arm. "What are you doing?"

Marquis had been the in the middle of unbuttoning Phoebe's bodice. He looked at Caldarius confused. "What are you—oh. Apologies, Caldarius. I must be on autopilot."

Caldarius kept his eyes covered. "Has this happened before?" he asked, desperate to break the tension of this awkward situation.

"Once. Her 21st birthday. Lady Phoebe imbibed in a few too many Lorrians. That's a cocktail that's a lovely orange color. Apparently, you can't taste the alcohol in it." Marquis chuckled. "Unlike in this situation, it was treated as youthful folly. A learning experience and all that. Baron Hemsworth had me escort Phoebe back to her room and I put her to bed."

"He didn't help?"

"Leave a Hemsworth hosted soiree with over five thousand guests? Hardly. Besides, he would have been useless. Man has a minion bot sign his signature." Marquis's eye glowed red for a split second before returning to blue. "Look, just hand me the gown and you can step out."

"That sounds like a plan." Caldarius tossed the gown to Marquis then made a beeline for the door. The Magnus shook his head.

Marquis had just finished tucking Phoebe into bed when Caldarius knocked on the door. "Marquis? There's someone knocking at the front. Should I let them in?"

"Absolutely not!" Marquis shouted. He glanced down nervously at Phoebe, but luckily she remained asleep. "One moment." He dimmed the lights before leaving the room. "Did they say who they were?"

"No." Caldarius folded his arms. "He just called me an idiot and told me he wanted to talk to Phoebe."

Well, that could be anyone.

Marquis activated the view screen. He fought the urge to groan as he opened the front door.

Patrick fucking Montague.

The tall, thin man was tapping his foot impatiently. Patrick Montague had a thin mustache above his upper lip, a raised mole on the side of his nose, and watery blue eyes. His long black hair was tied back into a manbun which was a pathetic attempt to hide the fact that he was balding.

Patrick Montague was the new head of Minion Robotics after Kleese's termination. He wanted to be more and wasn't subtle about it. Montague had no problem stabbing people in the back to get what he wanted. He was the most vocal member on the board about his concern that Phoebe wasn't taking her role as Hemsworth heiress seriously and that she should be removed.

He was an all-around bastard.

Marquis looked to the side and saw Unit M4-ND1 or Mandi standing submissively a few feet back. That was another thing the Magnus didn't like about the organic. Still, he had a role to play.

"Finally!" Montague snapped. "Where is Lady Hemsworth? I need to speak with her now!"

"Lady Hemsworth, is resting." Marquis said. "She's not well."

Montague snorted. "Oh whatever. More like shirking in her duties after going to play warrior princess." He tried to peer over Marquis's shoulder. "Hemsworth! Get out here! I need to talk to you about Kimmel! Get out here!"

Marquis stepped out allowing the doors to close. "You cannot talk speak to her in that manner." He snarled. "And as I said before, Mr. Montague. Lady Hemsworth is unwell and needs to rest."

"I don't want to speak to the help." Montague spat. "Go and get your mistress."

Marquis was about to respond when he heard the doors open behind him. Caldarius stalked out of the room.

"Who the devil are you?" Montague demanded. He let out a squawk as the shock trooper grabbed him by the throat.

"Who am I? I'm someone who doesn't work for the LLC." Caldarius unsheathed his energy blade and held it against Montague's throat. "Now with that in mind, let me repeat what Marquis has been trying to drill in your skull." Caldarius leaned in, "Miss Phoebe isn't well. She needs her rest. So fuck off." He tossed Montague to the floor. He scrambled backwards. Mandi knelt and put her hand on his shoulders. Caldarius noticed her and did a double-take.

Montague snarled and slapped Mandi's hands away. He got to his feet. "Y-you'll be hearing from my lawyers!"

"Send them." Caldarius snarled. "I'll return them to you…in pieces."

The CEO of Minion Robotics paled. "Come Mandi!" he ordered the robot.

Marquis sighed. "I…thank you for that, Caldarius."

"No problem." Caldarius nodded. "I can't believe you have to deal with assholes like that."

"They are of varying degrees. Patrick Montague is just the highest level."

They went back inside and joined a sleeping Phoebe in her bedroom. Caldarius took a seat on a couch with satin upholstery in LLC silver. Marquis sat at his charging station and plugged in. "What type of batteries power you?"

"Nuclear fusion," Marquis said with no small amount of pride.

"That…sounds incredibly dangerous."

"Bah. The LLC has improved such things." Marquis assured him. "I—thank you for you assisting me. With everything. I'm…glad I didn't kill you."

Caldarius snorted. "You assume you would have won the duel."

"I was going to cheat. Use my Temporal Distortion to slow you down then hit you with a Bindleblast. Unsportsmanlike, I know."

Caldarius started to laugh. "I was going to hit you with Flashbang and then use my Gravitic Burst to finish the job. So, I guess that makes me unsportsmanlike too."

They both chuckled at that. Marquis looked up. "Someone's calling."

"From the hall?"

"No, no. From the communication monitor in the living room." Marquis unplugged himself and threw on his coat. "Gottverdammt." It was Phoebe's parents' special line. If he ignored it they'd send someone in person to talk to her.

"I'll handle this." Caldarius marched into the living room. "I'll just intimidate them like I did the last asshole." He turned on the monitor. "Yes?"

"Who the hell are you? Where is Phoebe? Put her on this very second!"

Oh. Oh no. Marquis hastened to fasten his buttons. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

"Phoebe is resting." Caldarius said.

"Well, wake her up! This very instant!"

"Listen here, you pompous jackass—"

Marquis ran into the living room. "Caldarius!" the Magnus shouted before the Kemessian could say anything else. "May I introduce you to Baron Bertholomew Hemsworth, the current LLC Tradelord and Lady Phoebe's father?"

Caldarius deflated. "Ah," he coughed. "I, um, hello."

Baron Hemsworth was not impressed. "Marquis, who is this?" he asked in acidic tone.

"Baron Hemsworth, this is Caldarius. He's one of the Battleborn. An ex-Jennerit shock trooper."

"Why is he in my daughter's home?"

Marquis glanced at Caldarius. "He…helped me carry Phoebe back. She was…injured. Yes, injured. That's why she's resting."

Baron Hemsworth's brow furrowed. "Is she all right?" he asked. "Do I need to send a medic?"

"No!" Marquis coughed. "No, that won't be necessary. She just needs rest."

"Are you sure? Please tell me that she's been seen by a real doctor and not one of those Eldrid witch doctors."

"She was looked over by Dr. Beatrix Lucavi." Marquis lied. "She just needs some rest."

"Hmmph," Phoebe's father glanced at Caldarius who just stood there quietly. "Marquis, tell Phoebe to contact me as soon as she's awake." And with that he ended the call.

Caldarius groaned. "I can't believe I did that!" He said.

"Don't fret over it," Marquis waved a hand. "He is a pompous jackass. Always has been. He was an awful child too. Nothing like Phoebe. I mean, she had her rough patches, but her father was a real piece of work." The Magnus sighed. "I could set you up in one of the spare bedrooms. We can take you back in the morning."

"That would be nice." Caldarius sighed. "I could sleep in the chair by Miss Phoebe, but to be honest I'd rather sleep out of my armor."

"It'll take but a moment." Marquis told him.

Marquis came online to the sound of someone retching. His eye flickered and moved over to the bed. Phoebe wasn't in bed, so it was most likely her in the bathroom.

The Magnus went to wake up Caldarius. Chef Rupert was already in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Rupert was acclaimed culinary genius that Baron Hemsworth had snatched from the restaurant where he was working. He was in his sixties and sort of stooped by old age, but Marquis didn't feel the urge to kill him as much as he felt like killing Kleese. The cheery old man waved at Marquis. "Morning, sir! I noticed that guest room was occupied so I've altered the portions accordingly. Lady Phoebe sounds in a bad way. Sounds like a hangover. I made her a traditional fry-up until you can get her some medicine."

Another thing about Rupert? He was discreet. Even though he'd guessed Phoebe was hungover, Rupert wouldn't say a word.

Although that didn't mean that he and Phoebe trusted him enough to let on that they were in a relationship.

"Good man," Marquis said. "Um, is our guest awake?"

"I heard them bumping around." Rupert said as he transferred the eggs to a plate. "They haven't been out yet."

Marquis went to knock on the door. "Caldarius? Are you up?"

"Yeah, just putting on my armor. How's Phoebe? Is she awake?"

"Yes and getting sick in the bathroom. I should go check on her."

Marquis got Phoebe a glass of water and two LLC approved Harrison Specials. "Phoebe?"

"Don't come in," Phoebe replied weakly.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, meine Blume." Marquis said in a singsong tone. "Coming in!"

Phoebe was on the floor. She was soaked in sweat, her blonde hair plastered to her forehead. The heiress had the side of face pressed against the toilet seat. Marquis handed her the glass and the pills. She downed both.

"Miss Phoebe," Caldarius entered the bathroom. "How are you?"

"My mouth tastes like broken dreams."

"That's, ah, very descriptive."

"Rupert, is getting breakfast ready." Marquis said. "Let me help you to the room."

"Thank you, Marquis." Phoebe sighed. She put her arm around his shoulder. They walked back to her room.

Phoebe sighed as she lowered herself into the bed. "Very nice."

"What were those pills you gave her?" Caldarius asked.

"Hangover medicine," Marquis told him.

"LLC created and patented. Harrison Specials." Phoebe said. She reclined against her pillows.

"The LLC has pills that cure hangovers?" Caldarius blinked. "And you aren't selling them?"

Marquis and Phoebe exchanged a look. "The LLC keep the best things for ourselves." Phoebe smiled.

"Of course," Caldarius sighed. He didn't know why he was surprised.

Phoebe shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, it takes ten minutes before it's actually effective."

"That must suck for you." Caldarius said drily.

Chef Rupert came in with a hovercart. "I figured that you would want breakfast in bed," he said. "So voila!"

"Oh, Rupert you are amazing!" Phoebe clapped her hands. "It smells wonderful."

Rupert bowed. "I made enough for you as well, sir." He told Caldarius.

"Oh! Um, thanks." Caldarius wasn't expecting that. "It smells great."

Rupert bowed his head before walking out of the room. "Lady Phoebe, I return later for lunch. I need to go handle breakfast for your parents." He bowed again before exiting the room.

"Toast, toast, toast." Phoebe sang. "Mm! Marquis! I should invent a knife that applies the butter for you! To the lab!" She started to climb out of bed, but Marquis pushed her back down.

"No! No! Breakfast, first. Lab, later." Marquis sighed. "Also, your father wants you to contact him. Also Montague stopped by. He didn't stay long."

"Ugghh." Phoebe flopped backwards. "What did you tell them?"

"I said you were injured and needed rest."

"Good." Phoebe sighed. She looked over Caldarius. "You're not eating?"

The Kemessian glanced down at his tray. "I'll eat in private."

Phoebe frowned. "It will be cold by then, Caldarius." She arched a brow and smiled. "Is this because you wish to maintain your mysterious identity?" Phoebe teased. "Can't let anyone see you without your helmet?"

"Yes, actually."

"Oh. Um, well I want to talk to you both then you can go back to the room to eat." Phoebe put down her fork and knife. "Please explain to me your motivations. A duel to the death? Really in this day and age? Marquis, why did you do this?"

"It's my fault." Caldarius said. "I was a dick to him."

"Lady Selene Davenport."

Caldarius and Phoebe stared at him. "What?" the Kemessian asked. "Who is that?"

Marquis looked at him. "When you…when you said that Phoebe would get tired of me and choose you because you're organic, I reacted badly because," he paused. "I think about it all the time, you know. Phoebe getting tired of me. Leaving me. Choosing an organic because it would be the easier route."

"Marquis," Phoebe said softly. "I would never…"

Marquis continued. "Lady Selene Davenport married an alien. A Florianian, I believe. They have hair like vines and green skin. Remember when they announced their engagement?"

Phoebe nodded. "There was quite the scandal. Her mother talked about disowning her."

Marquis nodded. "Until they found out that Lady Davenport's fiancée was royalty with an impressive dowry then everyone's tune changed. Suddenly, it was 'Oh she's lovely' and 'What a lovely match'. Bah! And you," he looked at Caldarius. "When you said all of that, you just made me remember. You were right. You do make me think of my insecurities."

"Marquis," Caldarius sighed. "I was a jerk. I shouldn't have said those things. I was an asshole."

"But it doesn't make it any less true," the Magnus protested. "Phoebe, you could marry Caldarius. You can't marry me. You can't have a family with me. Caldarius is a war veteran. He helped save the last star. He's…" Marquis sank into his seat. He clutched his head in despair. "Organic."

"And you're not going to ask me my opinion?" Phoebe demanded. "Marquis, I love you. You, you idiot! When have I ever taken the easy route? Hell, we've been dumping my mother's lists for weeks! Caldarius?" she looked at the Kemessian. "You are wonderful. I respect you and I think that your shock armor is very sexy and amazing, but…" Phoebe sighed. "I've been with Marquis forever. He's been a part of my life since for as long as I can remember. Do we have falling outs? Yes. Do we occasionally separate? Of course. That doesn't mean I don't love him. I fancy you, Caldarius but I'm not about to leave Marquis. I don't appreciate you upsetting him like that. And I certainly don't appreciate either of you trying to kill one another!"

"Please accept my apologies, Miss Phoebe." Caldarius placed the tray on the couch. He stood and bowed deeply. "I was wrong to try to get in the way of your relationship with Marquis. I underestimated how much you care for one another."

Phoebe took Marquis's hand. "I'm not leaving you, Marquis. You do know that, right? I love you."

Marquis sighed. He brought her hand to his mouth in a semblance of a kiss. "And I love you." Phoebe knocked her tray over as she dragged the Magnus into the bed and embraced him. "That's going to stain." He muttered.

"That's what the minion bots are for." Phoebe whispered.

Caldarius watched the exchange, feeling uncomfortable. He was about to take his tray and leave when he saw Phoebe's outstretched hand. She gestured for him. The ex-gladiator sighed and went over to the bed. It creaked under their combined weight. Caldarius wasn't much of a hugger, but he had to admit that this was nice. "Promise me, that you two will start being civil." Phoebe said. "Or at the very least no fighting in my presence."

Marquis broke away from the group hug. His sensors monitored whoever tried to call Phoebe in case he needed to run interference. "You have a call coming in. It's from your mother." He went to grab her a robe.

"Oh, blast." Phoebe groaned. She slipped on the robe and went to face her mother. "Hello, Mummy." She forced a smile onto her face. "How are you?"

Her mother gave her a pleasant smile. "Oh, I'm quite alright, Phoebe love." Her mother's eyes darted around. She seemed to be searching for something. "I heard the most delicious tidbit from your father yesterday!"

"Oh?"

"Oh yes! I heard that you had a gentleman staying in your apartment! Your father said that he was quite protective of you." Her mother's eyes glittered.

Phoebe's cheeks reddened. "Mummy, I can explain—"

Baroness Hemsworth held up a hand cutting her daughter off. "No need, Phoebe. I now completely understand why you never responded to my holomails. Why look at lists of suitors when you already have a beau!"

"I—"

"And of course, we must meet him. You should bring him to lunch tomorrow! That would be lovely!"

"Only if I can bring other guests as well." Phoebe blurted. She had no idea where that had come from, but she decided to roll with it. Phoebe cleared her throat. "I want to introduce you to my friend, Dr. Beatrix Lucavi."

Her mother arched an eyebrow. "That seems perfectly reasonable."

Phoebe smiled. She knew how to put an end to this. "And I want to invite Marquis. Not as a servant, but as my friend."

"Oh Phoebe!" her mother frowned. "You mustn't befriend the help! It gives them ideas! Besides, Marquis doesn't even eat!"

Phoebe shrugged. "Those are my terms."

"Your father and I are beginning to worry about how much time you spend with that Magnus. People are starting to talk…" Her mother sighed. "There are concerns."

"Mother, please."

"Very well. Invite Marquis along."

Phoebe's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Phoebe, don't stand there with your mouth open." Baroness Hemsworth chastised. "It makes you look common. I'll talk to you later, love. Ta-ta!"

Marquis and Caldarius approached her. They had hung back and listened to the conversation from out of Baroness Hemsworth's view. "She said yes." Marquis sounded dumbfounded.

"Yes. Yes, she did." Phoebe sounded weak.

"She wasn't supposed to say yes!"
"I know!" Phoebe shouted. She took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

"Miss Phoebe," Caldarius said. "No offense, but I do not want to be in the same room as you father. He just seems awful."

"No offense taken," Phoebe sighed. "That is a fair and accurate assumption."

"What are we going to do?" Marquis asked. He definitely didn't want to spend any more time with Phoebe's parents than absolutely necessary. They were kind of awful.

"Why does your mother think I'm your beau?" Caldarius asked, interrupting Marquis's panic.

"Apparently, it's an idea she put in her head when she heard how you came to my defense." Phoebe ran her fingers through her hair. "What am I going to do?"

Marquis walked over to the couch and sat down. The Magnus ran the situation through his processor. "We will go to your parents' lunch," he said slowly. "And Caldarius will pretend to be your lover."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I'm confused."

Marquis nodded. "Listen, your mother mentioned that people are starting to talk about the time we spend together. What better way to draw them off our scent than to present them with a more favorable alternative?"

Phoebe considered this. Caldarius looked at the Magnus like he'd grown a second head. "You want me to pretend to be dating Phoebe? You?"

"If I must then yes. Besides, it's not as if anything will come of it. You're an ex-slave and spent centuries in prison. You have no prospects that would be desirable to the Hemsworth legacy. You are worthless!" Marquis cast Caldarius a sidelong glance. "No offense."

Caldarius crossed his arms. "Some offense taken," the ex-gladiator muttered.

"This," Phoebe finally said. "This could work! Mummy and Daddy just want to meet you. They want to size you up, pick you apart, and in the end they'll probably want to dismiss you."

"I'm sorry," Caldarius said. "Is this your attempt of convincing me to join you because I gotta say…"

"Oh this is perfect!" Phoebe exclaimed. She beamed at the both of them. "We can do this! Let me go call, Beaxtrix and let her know what's happening."

Caldarius sighed loudly. He looked over at Marquis. "This is going to be a nightmare, isn't it?"

Marquis knew that he could probably lie to him, but he knew there was no point. "I will be surprised if the meal doesn't end in murder." He told Caldarius.

"Oh my god, this is a nightmare." Phoebe sighed. She was escorting her friends to her parents' suites. Beatrix and Caldarius were attracting all sorts of attention.

Beatrix was the only member of the little party who actually seemed excited by recent events. "What are you guys complaining about?" she asked. The Jennerit gave them a wide smile. A passing intern did a doubletake, started whimpering, then took off down the hall.

Phoebe sighed. "Beatrix? Have you ever known a person who pretended to be nice to you, but secretly they were judging you? Picking apart your every flaw and imperfection, cataloging it, and then using said flaws and imperfections to insult you or give you backhanded compliments?"

Beatrix's smile faltered. "Yes?"

"Well, congratulations! We'll shortly be dining with two of those people!"

The Jennerit physician stopped in her tracks. "Darn, I just remembered I have this thing to do back in medbay. I should head back."

Phoebe grabbed her arm. "Nope! Nope! You are already here. Come suffer with the rest of us."

Phoebe pressed the intercom outside her parents' door. "Hemsworth residence," a robotic voice intoned.

"Phoebe Hemsworth and three guests here to attend lunch with the Baron and his wife." Phoebe said.

Caldarius and Beatrix looked at Marquis. Marquis just shrugged.

The doors swooshed open. "Welcome, Phoebe Hemsworth and guests."

"Ugh, I hate the AI they installed to answer the door." Phoebe complained. "So old-fashioned!"

"It can barely be called an AI." Marquis agreed. He left his cane by the door, not because he didn't want to have it, but because it would put Phoebe's parents at ease if he wasn't armed.

Beatrix was starting to get nervous. "Should I have brought a gift? I should have brought a gift! Why didn't you tell me to bring a gift?"

"Trix, calm down. You didn't need to bring a gift." She didn't add that even if Beatrix had brought a gift, her parents would have immediately tossed it in the bin if it didn't impress them. "Okay listen. We need a signal for when we want to make a tasteful but hasty retreat." Phoebe said. "May I suggest three taps on the table?"

"Sounds good." Caldarius said. The ex-gladiator was looking around the room they were standing in. If Caldarius thought that Phoebe's apartment was opulent then that was because he hadn't seen where her parents lived. "Is that a gold-plated vase?"

"Hardly," Marquis snorted. "It's solid gold."

Beatrix eyed a piece of art that she was sure could have put her through medical school.

"Come along, chums." Phoebe tried to usher them forward. "Remember," she hissed. "Three taps!"

Before they walked into the dining hall, Phoebe took a deep breath and fixed her face into a more cheerful expression. "Mummy!" Phoebe exclaimed as she swept into the dining hall. "Daddy! Oh, it's so good to see you!"

Baron Hemsworth was seated at the head of long polished oak table. His wife sat his right. Both of them got to their feet to greet their daughter. Baron Hemsworth pressed a kiss to his daughter's cheek before pulling her into a hug. The hug was so he could stare balefully at her companions. "Excellent that you were able to make it, Phoebe my dear."

Phoebe went to greet her mother. She gave a kiss on each cheek. "Phoebe, darling so good to see you!" her mother said. Phoebe noticed that her mother wasn't really looking at her and she'd bet half her invested stocks, that her mother was gazing hungrily at Caldarius.

"Oh I wouldn't miss this for the world!" Phoebe said, lying through her perfect teeth.

Baroness Hemsworth motioned for them to sit. "Alonso! Bring our daughter and her guest some beverages." She looked at Phoebe. "Alosno is are new robot butler."

Phoebe was surprised by that. "You got a new Magnus?"

Her mother laughed a high, nasally laugh. "Heavens no!" she said. "Who buys a Magnus nowadays?"

"Montague recommended the manufacturer he used for Mandi." Baron Hemsworth. "Regular AI are preferable since the Magnuses went batshit after the Great Severance." He looked over at Marquis as if making point. "Apropos of nothing, where is that cane of yours, Marquis?"

Marquis gazed across the table at his former employer. "I left it beside the door." He said. The Magnus noticed with no small amount of amusement that both Phoebe's parents visibly relaxed at that news.

A humanoid robot with bone white skin with silver trim walked into the dining hall. He wore a livery suit with a striped waistcoat in the LLC colors. He rolled out a cart with wine and wine glasses as well as a tray of appetizers. Alonso's face was a blank slate, no eyes and no mouth. If this robot was made to her parents' specifications then what did that say about her parents' preferences when it came to servants?

Alonso poured wine for Baron Hemsworth. "Ahhh," He said, swirling the ruby red wine around in his glass. "I say, I much prefer a silent butler to our previous one."

Marquis tilted his head to the side and just stared at Baron Hemsworth.
"Dear, don't antagonize the Magnus." Baroness Hemsworth scolded. There was a smile on her face, but it had a nervous edge to it. "Beatrix, was it?"

"Yes."

"My daughter says you're a doctor? That's quite impressive for someone your age."

"I'm actually older than I look." The Jennerit told her. "I was Sustained when I was fifteen. I'm actually in my seventies."

"Fascinating," Phoebe's mother said. Her eyes traveled down Beatrix. She smiled. "So have you been dressing like that since you were Sustained or…"

Beatrix's smile faltered. "What's wrong with the way—"

"Oh, nothing dear," Baroness Hemsworth said in a tone that implied everything. "It looks very…cute. So, Beatrix what do you do?"

"I'm a medical doctor." Beatrix narrowed her eye.

"That's must be quite hard with your limited capabilities." Baron Hemsworth commented. He sipped his wine. "I would think one needed two functioning arms to be adequate in the medical profession. Two eyes as well."

"I am perfectly capable of caring for my patients!" Beatrix spat. "And for you to insinuate otherwise—"

"Caldarius," Phoebe's mother was done with the Jennerit and moved on to her next victim. A visibly upset Beatrix grabbed her glass of wine, downed it and signaled Alfonso for more. "It's such a pleasure to meet you. Phoebe has never mentioned you."

"Yes," Baron Hemsworth said. "You just appeared from nowhere. Quite strange."

"I know Phoebe from the Battleborn." Caldarius said. He shook his head at Alonso's offered wine.

"Ah yes." Baron Hemsworth sneered. "My daughter's little side project. To be honest, I was hoping she'd get bored with it by now. But I suppose, I'll have to keep waiting until her little whim is satisfied."

Phoebe clenched her teeth. "I fail to see how saving the last star is a 'whim', Daddy."

"You have real work to do here, but you're always running off to play with your friends."

"We're hardly playing, Father! The Varelsi threat is quite serious! Besides, I make sure to complete my work before I go."

Baron Hemsworth said nothing. He just took a long drink from his glass. Phoebe scowled and drank deep from her own glass. She had planned to nurse it, but it appeared that wouldn't be happening.

"Do you have family, Caldarius?" Baroness Hemsworth asked.

"I don't. They were killed during the Jennerit invasion of my homeworld. I was raised as a slave."

Both Phoebe's parents zeroed in on him when Caldarius mentioned his enslavement. Caldarius flinched from the intensity of it. He glanced at Phoebe. Had he fucked up?

Phoebe offered him a reassuring smile before returning her attention to her wine.

"Uh anyway, I was sent to the gladiatorial pits where I made a name for myself," was he talking too much? Caldarius wasn't sure. "I petitioned for my Sustainment but I was denied it. They sent me to the frontlines instead, hoping I'd be killed. I wasn't. I spent some time in prison—"

"Prison?" Baron Hemsworth's eyebrows raised as he turned to look at his wife. "Did you hear that, my love? We have a felon in our home."

Caldarius shook his head. "It's not really—"

Phoebe's mother pressed an elegant hand against a perfectly rouged cheek. "Phoebe, aren't you pass the bad boy stage? Are you doing this to make your father angry? Because there are better ways than sullying yourself with a criminal."

"Mother!" Phoebe yelled.

"Don't yell, Phoebe. It makes you look common."

Phoebe downed the rest of her wine. "Alonso! Another refill, if you please."

"I was put in prison for petitioning for my Sustainment," Caldarius blurted. "After I was Sustained, Lothar Rendain had me imprisoned. A warning to others who sought to move beyond their station."

"Well," Baron Hemsworth said. "I can't say I disagree with that. There are some lines that shouldn't be crossed. You think you're entitled to something because you worked hard for it? Pshaw!"

"That's right," Baroness Hemsworth tittered. "The status quo is there for a reason, darling. I mean certain things are only meant for the best of the best. Everyone else can have our scraps."

"Well said, my love."

Caldarius stared at the both them. He placed a hand on the table.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Chef Rupert took that moment to enter the dining hall. "Lunch is served!" he announced.

"Perfect timing!" Phoebe smiled. Her second glass was empty and Alonso was refilling it before he went to help serve the family.

Alonso sat their plates in from of them. Phoebe's brow creased in confusion. "Sandwiches?"

"Filet mignon sandwiches with garlic aioli mayo and caramelized red peppers," Chef Rupert clarified.

"We weren't sure if your companions knew how to use forks and knives so we thought this would be better." Baron Hemsworth smiled.

"Beatrix, may I ask you something?" Baroness Hemsworth smiled.

The Jennerit physician clenched her hand into a fist under the table. "If you must," she growled.

"Your eyepatch—"

"You mean my cybernetic optic?"

"Yes. That. Is it hard to be taken seriously with that thing?"

Beatrix frowned. "No? Why would it be?"

Baroness Hemsworth smiled patiently. "Well, you have a heart on it. It's very immature. When you take into account your dress with those ridiculous—I mean, adorable ruffles. Well, I just think you'd be taken more seriously as a professional if you look the part." She smiled serenely.

Beatrix slammed a fist on the table, rattling the plates.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Mother, please." Phoebe said, trying to salvage the luncheon. "You are being rude."

"I'm not being rude! I'm simply offering some free advice." Her mother frowned. "Phoebe, perhaps you should eat only half of that sandwich. You're looking a little tubby."

"Mom!"

"You won't be able to attract a husband if you're flabby. I'm doing you a favor."

Beatrix slid her chair back as she got to her feet abruptly. "Where's your bathroom?'

"We have one down the hall." Baroness Hemsworth sighed. "Alonso? Show her the way."

"Be right back," Beatrix said in a singsong tone.

"Mother why are you talking about me attracting a husband when Caldarius is sitting here?" Phoebe demanded.

Her mother gave Caldarius a look. She laughed. "Darling, you can't be serious! I'll admit that he's probably a lot of fun, but there comes a time when you stop having fun and grow up."

"Here, here." Baron Hemsworth nodded. "Phoebe, we've overlooked your behavior long enough. It's high time you realize that some behavior is unbecoming of a Hemsworth."

"What behavior?" Marquis demanded. The Magnus had been watching and frankly he had had enough. "Besides a little precociousness and over enthusiastic zeal, Lady Hemsworth was a model child. Certainly better than a whiny bedwetter that I could mention."

Bertholomew Hemsworth's face reddened. "I had a medical condition, you blasted machine!" he sputtered.

"Yes, it's called being lazy!" Marquis retorted. "You would rather sit there and wet your bed than miss a cartoon!"

"You can't talk to me that way—"

Marquis ignored him. "And unlike you, Lady Phoebe didn't have friends growing up because she chose not to. She wasn't friendless because she had a personality as appealing as moldy veal."

Beatrix skipped into the room. "I'm back!"

Baron Hemsworth got his feet and slammed his hands onto the table. "We should have had you scrapped the moment the Magna Carta went dark! You are a disrespectful, homicidal threat to human life!"

Marquis, folded his arms. "I am all of those things, yes." He said with pride.

"You are a threat to my daughter!"

"I am no threat to Lady Phoebe and you know it!"

"Your presence is harmful! Your constant presence is hurting my daughter's representation! There are people insinuating that—" His nostrils flared as he took a deep breath. "My daughter is having sexual relations with you, Magnus."

Baroness Hemsworth gave a quiet sob. She dabbed the corners of her (dry) eyes with her napkin. "Now you see why I'm trying so hard to find you a husband, Phoebe my darling. It will put these nasty rumors to bed."

Phoebe lowered her eyes. "Mother. Father. I—"

Beatrix sniffed loudly. "Does anyone else smell smoke?" the Jennerit frowned.

Phoebe's parents sniffed. The Baron turned in his seat and looked. His eyes widened as he noticed a cloud of smoke coming from the hall. "What the devil?" He got up and ran toward the smoke.

"Oh dear," Beatrix said. She picked her glass and took a sip.

Baron Bertholomew Hemsworth started screaming. "Where is Alfonso? The blasted Arinnian tapestry is ablaze!"

Baroness Hemsworth scrambled to her feet. "That was a present from my father!" she shrieked. "Alonso! Make yourself useful you stupid robot!" she ran to join her husband screaming her fury all the way.

Phoebe looked at the Jennerit wildly. "Beatrix? Why is there fire? Why is fire happening?"

Beatrix nibbled on her sandwich. "I was doing my duty as your best friend and providing us with a much needed distraction so we can escape." She took a bite of her food. "This is good."

"Your idea of a distraction is setting a fire?!"

Beatrix's eye flashed. "My optic is cute." The Jennerit seethed. "As is the way I dress." She calmed down and smiled. "Besides it worked. They're distracted."

Phoebe got to her feet. She wrapped her sandwich in her cloth napkin. She wasn't going to leave good food behind. "They are indeed. Come on, everyone. We need to get out of here before the sprinklers come on lest we get absolutely soaked."

"I thought they'd be on by now." Caldarius commented.

"Marquis…delayed their operation years ago after he and my father had a disagreement."

"He insulted me one too many times." The Magnus said softly. "This has been the first fire that the Hemsworths have had since I did that. Ooh, I hope there's damage!"

"From your mouth to god's ears." Phoebe's muttered. "Who's ready to go back to NOVA?"

There was a chorus of agreement. They left the Baron and Baroness's suites and made the trek to Marquis's yacht.

Beatrix frowned. "Phoebe, don't take this the wrong way but your parents are the worst."

"They really are." Caldarius agreed.

Phoebe laughed softly. "I tried to warn you." She said.

"I guess that since this is over, I'm no longer required to pretend to be your boyfriend." Caldarius said. He tried to sound light-hearted.

"On the contrary," Marquis said. "We need you more than ever. The Hemsworths are under the impression that Phoebe is only dating you to be rebellious and want to ply her with more suitable alternatives. As long as you're around they can't move on to the next phase."

"Making me go out on a date with those fools," Phoebe growled. She shuddered. "Caldarius, I can't ask you to do this."

"Don't worry about it," Caldarius chuckled. He put his arms around Marquis and Phoebe, surprising them both. "I don't mind being a part of a threesome." He said. "Besides, how else will I prove to our Gentleman Sniper that I'm not as bad as he believes me be."

Marquis removed Caldarius's arm from his shoulder. He gave the ex-gladiator a pat on the shoulder. "Well, you're certainly better than Malcolm Peabody. I will give you that at least."