For reasons that Eggsy does not understand at all, Harry insists they take the robo-dog with them when they leave Poppy's bizarre 50's time-warp. He says he intends to fix it so that Ms Gherkin has a playmate. Eggsy is calling bullshit though because he is sure Harry is about as practical as lace doilies and Eggsy has also already pointed out that he has the perfect playmate for her, that does not come in kit form, in the shape of his own new puglet.
Is robo-dog some kind of replacement for Mr Pickle? Does Harry actually find it hard to take a dump at home if there is not some kind of defunct doggy presence in the room? (Leaving aside for now the question of Harry's currently defunct home.)
Eggsy has no fucking clue why Harry really wants it, except that Eggsy has lived in Harry's house and the man is clearly some kind of classy hoarder, but it is heavier than it looks and takes some effort to get onto the plane. They end up attaching roller-skates to its paws and wheeling it. This is also not as easy as one would assume because they are wheeling it through what is basically a fucking jungle, which wasn't flat to start with, and has now been churned up by multiple landmine explosions.
There are an awful lot of heaps of unidentified red bits, which they try not to step in and don't look at too closely, because the heaps are rank and they don't know which one is Merlin, so have to show respect to all of them.
Eggsy does not want to think about that. It is all over, and he is trying to honor his mentor by not shedding a tear until he is in private, but his eyes keep misting up anyway. Harry is being a fucking trooper about it. His stiff upper lip is so stiff Eggsy almost believes it is cybernetic like Charlie's arm. It is almost as if he doesn't believe Merlin is dead, like he can't face having lost yet another of his colleagues.
Eggsy is already planning to get him absolutely mortal on Kentucky Martinis and ask if he wants to talk. Eggsy wants to talk. He can't believe how utterly bollocks it is that the universe has decided he can have either Harry or Merlin, but not both. And after the eye-fuck he saw going on in the plane earlier, he is not even sure if 'colleagues' was the right word for his mentors either. Harry is just back and Merlin is gone now, and that has to be the definition of star-crossed.
Eggsy wants to get back to Tilde as quickly as humanly possible and get his proposal sorted out, because he came this close to loosing her and that can't ever happen again.
Elton John comes too. He is a consummate professional and, as the autopilot takes them back to Statesman, he keeps them entertained. And distracted, because he is a pro and can read a crowd. He knows they have lost someone, although not who. He has some fantastic stories and Eggsy knows Harry is a fan because he inherited his (now defunct) record collection. He also flirts like a cheap tart at Harry, which is hilarious because, even now, Harry can't help being charming back - and Elton is still wearing feathers and enormous boots. So, they are distracted for the time being.
No way in hell will Eggsy be staying in America!
It is complicated enough being a super spy in a relationship with the princess of Sweden without volunteering to do it from the other side of the fucking planet. And doesn't Champ realize that Kingsman currently consists of two people? And that that is not a situation which will be improved by one of them remaining at an organization that is at near full capacity?
Fortunately Ginger pipes up, before Harry has to be the one to cut through their humming and haa-ing to politely decline on both their behalves.
They haven't talked about it, but Eggsy knows he and Harry are going to be the ones to build Kingsman back up. He's already imagining it as some kind of father/son business and bonding experience. Harry will be shit hot as Arthur, thus solving the 'two Galahads problem'. Eggsy is determined to keep Galahad for himself.
They do get completely hammered on the flight back to the UK but Harry doesn't talk. He just gradually moves from proper seated posture to debauched gentile slouch as he listens to Eggsy get steadily less and less coherent.
Neither of them cry. Maybe Harry isn't ready to yet. Or is actually incapable of doing so in public. Eggsy is smashed and definitely could, but he knows it would be ugly, snotty sobbing and he doesn't want to make a bad impression on Harry.
Back in London, Harry straightens himself up and does a good version of A-Responsible-Adult-Who-Has-Not-Been-Drinking-To-Excess, marshals his 'dogs' into an actual London cab, announces he is going to stay at Merlin's and disappears into the night after wishing Eggsy good luck with Tilde and promising to be in touch very soon.
Eggsy is a bit shocked by his sudden departure, but the fact that Harry knows Merlin lived somewhere (as opposed to recharging a cupboard, which is what Eggsy had previously assumed), presumably knows where that somewhere is if he is planning on crashing there and thinks he can gain entry without being fried to a crispy critter by whatever super paranoid security measures are installed, once again raises the question of exactly how well 'acquainted' his mentors were. Eggsy decides he is not going to interfere if Harry feels the need freak out in his lover's bed surrounded by heaps of unwashed jumpers. Grief is a funny thing. However, he will intervene if Harry starts acting like Queen Victoria. Because he knows Harry is a descendant and it might be hereditary.
So Eggsy shrugs and gets his own cab to Tilde's hotel. Harry has coached him in exactly what he has to say to her dad, although he really hopes that rescuing her twice makes the case for him.
AN3 - I am thrilled that puglet is a real word.