Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. If it were mine, Kakashi would have given Sakura the same attention he gave the boys.
Chapter 2: Secrets and regrets.
He lost himself in her dazzling smile while she stared at him as if he were very important to her and for few seconds he allowed to think that perhaps he was. That glow in her green eyes made his chest heat up with something he had not felt in a long time and did not want to stop to think about what it was, anyway. It had been more one year since the arrangement between them had begun and he was more than happy to have her all to him. Not that he was counting the time.
"Why do you wear the mask?" She asked in a timid voice as she lay on his chest.
Kakashi felt an eyebrow rise with surprise, he hoped she'd asked that question years ago, but neither she nor the boys had questioned him about it, and even if they did he would never give a true answer. But lying on the soft carpet of her living room while she lay lazily on him reminded him that she was no longer that annoying genin in love with the Uchiha boy, she was one of the strongest kunoichis among the five nations and the woman by whom he was in love for the first time in all the miserable years of his life, which was too long for an elite ninja. Not that he was going to announce it out loud.
With a sigh he took a more comfortable position. "When I was four, I found a scroll with the Uchiha seal on my father's things." He laughed lightly at the thought of the most foolish thing to come. "I imitated the hand signals in the scroll until I got what I wanted."
Sakura lifted the head, leaning the chin against his chest to look at him better.
He saw the glint of curiosity in her eyes and smiled. "I was able to produce a small fireball." He saw the flash of pride in her face and laughed again knowing that that pride would disappear soon. "My father get in the room at that exact moment and with the shock of being caught I lost my concentration, spreading fire all over the lower part of my face."
Sakura's eyes widened in surprise but he continued. "I used the mask to hide the horrible mark that ruined my face and kept it even after it was completely healed."
Sakura bit her lower lip and stared at him. "I always thought it was something about hiding what you really feel and keeping others away." She said uncertainly.
Kakashi has always loved her sagacity. "The reason for using the mask in the first place may have been the burn, but that's exactly what you said I kept." He clarified.
Sakura did not know what to think after this statement and decided to change the subject. "Well, I think Sai won the bet, then."
Kakashi stood still for a few seconds before the realization struck him. "Oh, Team 7's bet on what I'm under the mask." He said with a funny tone.
Sakura snarled playfully. "Urgh, you always knew about the bet, didn't you ?!"
Kakashi laughed out loud. "Yes, let's see." He tapped the chin thoughtfully. "Naruto says I have rabbit teeth, Sasuke bets on fish lips, Sai bets on scars..." He took a lock of her hair and curled it on the index finger. "My beautiful cherry blossom, bet I'm too ugly to want to show." He paused for a moment. "It makes me wonder why we're here, right now." He said with malice.
Sakura smirked. "You can be awfully ugly, sensei." She provoked. "But you're still a good kisser."
Kakashi sat up abruptly, pushing her back on the carpet. "Alright, time for lesson, my favorite student." Before she could respond he put one hand over her eyes and lowered the mask giving her a breathtaking kiss.
When they separated, he put the mask in place and took the hand from her eyes. She stared at him with narrowed eyes. "There are no scars, is there?" She asked, knowing the answer. Because even if she did not see him, she ran the fingers over his bare face and never felt marks beyond the visible scar in his eye.
Kakashi laughed and she answered punching him in the shoulder for denying her one more time.
It was a sunny Sunday and Sakura looked out the kitchen window wondering when the first rain would fall on Konoha, starting the rainy season that would begin soon. She filled the dark blue mug with tea and walked into the living room delivering to the man who was lazily sprawled on her couch.
"Do you want to talk about that?" She asked as he sat down and took a sip of his tea.
Kakashi kept the eyes closed and drank the delicious tea she offered. He sighed as he remembered what she was talking about. The previous day in a conference with ambassadors from another country he met an old friend of his father and the man did not stop talking about how he would never overcome the fact that the great White Fang of Konoha ended his own life, leaving the only son to own luck. Even with Kakashi's obvious discomfort, the man did not shut up for a single minute in the three hours they spent in the boardroom giving Kakashi an unbearable migraine.
Once more he was willing to tell her everything about his past, as if she had some kind of spell that would open his heart instantly, simply by looking into her eyes.
"When I wasn't even in Academy, my father was sent on a mission that put the lives of his comrades in danger, he chose to abandon the mission and save his comrades. The failure of that mission made my father be defamed for all in the Fire Country. The villagers of Konoha and even those he had saved, blamed him. Then, when I was eleven years old I arrived from my day in Academy and found his dead body in one of the rooms. There was no damn letter of goodbye. "
Sakura felt her heart race with every word he uttered and felt a sharp pain as he spoke with so much pain and contempt from a man she knew he loved and admired one day.
Kakashi felt the mug being ripped out of his hands and opened the eyes to see Sakura nesting into his lap like a lazy cat. She put one hand on his chest while the other wrapped his back. "Not everyone is strong enough to withstand rejection and accusations." She said in a low, compassionate voice, he was sure he was only able to hear because of the sharp senses he inherited from the Hatake Clan.
Knowing very well that if anyone knew how to overcome rejection was this woman snuggling in his lap, he hugged her tightly. "Thank you." He whispered to her, grateful to have told her about the past.
He was surprised that Sakura did not say that his father was a coward or a selfish for leaving him when he was still so young. Unlike everyone else, she understood Sakumo's motives and this gave Kakashi a reason to understand too. Fot the first time since he had found his father's dead body he felt that he had forgiven the man for leaving him alone.
The night was hot and muffled and Sakura asked the heavens for the rainy season to arrive soon. She put the glass she had used to drink water on the table and walked back to the room where Kakashi lay sprawled on the bed. Some nights when they kept checking the papers late into her living room, he would eventually fall asleep on the couch and she would carry him to the bed where they would sleep together.
She was happy with this arrangement, even Kakashi having threatened to send her on a suicide mission if she told someone she carried him like a princess to her bed. She smiled at the man lying on the bed in only a shorts and a mask and wondered when he would make her his once for all. Shaking the head to keep off the inappropriate thoughts, she walked over to the bed and lay down beside him.
At dawn she awoke with Kakashi panting beside her. Sitting abruptly she realized he was having a nightmare and knowing that it was not the best ideia to wake up a shinobi during a nightmare she placed the hand gently on his chest and sent soothing chakra through his chakra paths.
Kakashi opened the eyes as soon as he felt something warm penetrating his body, he was grateful to have awakened him from the horrible nightmare in which he was trapped. He sat, looking around a little stunned and after a few seconds he calmed down and realized where he was. He looked away to find Sakura's sympathetic face. "That's okay, it was just a nightmare." She whispered to him.
Sakura watched intrigued as he ran to the kitchen sink and washed his hands frantically. She knew he knew she was there but he would not look at her and that was making her uncomfortable. She walked over to him, turned off the faucet and forced him to face her. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Let it go, Sakura." He said with a serious tone that meant there would be no argument.
She did not know if it was the irritation due to the heat or the way he spoke to her as if she were a child, but she felt her temper rapidly exhausting. Holding his face in her hands, she forced him to look at her. "Tell me." She said through gritted teeth. "Tell me what's wrong."
Kakashi stepped away from her and rested the hands on the sink. "The blood never goes away." He said with a somber tone.
After a few long minutes of silence Kakashi felt her arms around his waist. He closed the eyes tightly and for the first time since he was eleven years old, he did not feel alone. It was as if a huge weight had been ripped from his shoulders.
"Look." He heard Sakura's sweet voice echo through the silent kitchen. He opened the eyes to see her hands before him, while her body was still comfortably pressed against his back. "There's a lot of blood here too."
Kakashi could not hold back the hoarse laugh that escaped his throat.
"I don't deserve you." He said as he tightened her arms around him again.
Rain fell by the glass of the office window and she traced the path one of the drops had with her finger.
He did not lose as her nails were beautifully painted with a dark enamel, matching the wine color of the blouse she wore, he had long realized that she was taking care of much more of the physical appearance now that she was off the active list, being too busy with the hospital and the paperwork he was supposed to take care of. He admitted to himself and only to himself that without her, he would be completely lost in command of that Village.
Tired of being a good man and resisting the temptation she was, he approached her and lowered the curtain, hiding the two from the rest of the world. He put his hand over hers that was still in the window, lowering the mask with the other hand to kiss the back of her neck that was deliciously exposing to him, since her hair was stuck in a messy bun.
She felt his bare lips touching the back of her neck and suppressed a sigh as a shiver ran down her spine as she suppressed the urge to turn and glimpse his face that she longed to see for so many years now, an desire that has increased exponentially in recent years because of their proximity.
With the lights off, the curtains closed and the torrential rain falling outside, the room was dark enough for Kakashi to feel comfortable lowering the mask. The only people who had seen his face since his father died were Ayame and her father when he left them intentionally just to irritate the students who were blatantly trying to see under his mask. He had never felt comfortable to expose his face to others, not even in the dark, but with Sakura it seemed like everything was different now.
Sakura turned slowly, keeping the eyes looking down to give him the privacy she knew he appreciated. She kissed his chin, earning a sigh from the man who always seemed so reserved and controlled before everyone, even in the most difficult or disconcerting situations. Then she kissed with the mouth openly on the jaw and blew where she had kissed, teasing him purposefully. She bit his chin lightly and then his lower lip. "You're enjoying this." He said in a trembling voice that surprised her and left her feeling incredibly confident.
"You have no idea." She answered with a bold tone.
Kakashi snarled and grabbed her by the waist, moving the two too fast for her to process, setting her on the table, kissing her fiercely.
Sakura felt the stomach tighten and warm at the same time as she lost herself in his arms. When they drew back into a breath of well-deserved air, lightning struck the darkened sky, brightening the dark room for a brief moment, giving Sakura a glimpse of the face she longed to see for so long now.
She gasped at the glimpse of his face and even in that brief moment she could see how beautiful he was and the desire to see him clearly almost consumed her at that moment. She looked at him disappointedly when the room went completely dark again. "It's almost a sin to hide it from the rest of the world, Hokage-sama." Sakura teased him and see when he visibly trembled at the use of the title he hated so much and for a moment she wondered if he really hated it when she said it to him.
Kakashi's only response was another snarl as he pinned her to the table tighter, making her look at him. "Say again." He commanded with that imperative tone he always wore when he was walking on the thin line of the control he held so he would not attack her in a way he knew he would regret.
"I thought you hated the title." Sakura mocked, then lowered her voice to a seductive tone and whispered in his ear. "Hokage-sama."
When Kakashi took a step back and ran the hand through his hair in obvious frustration Sakura was confused by the change of attitude and came down from the table taking a few steps toward him. "What happened?" She asked as she reached out to touch him.
Kakashi turned away from her touch and took a step back, gaining distance. "I just need one minute." He said in a weak, almost regretful voice.
Sakura moved too quickly for him to notice in the disturbed state in which he was. "Kakashi, there's nothing you wanted to do to me that I don't want you to do. Believe in me." She calmed him down and ran her fingers down the back of his neck, happy to feel him relax under her touch.
"I'll regret that." He said sincerely and regretted letting the words leave soon as he felt her hand fall from where she was caressing him deliciously.
"I didn't know that you felt that way about..." She hesitated before naming whatever was going on between them and at that moment she realized that maybe they were not in the same place like she foolishly thought they were. "...That." She finished and the words seemed heavy on her tongue.
She stared at him expectantly, hoping he would refute or approaching of her. When he did not respond or made any move to stop her from moving away, she continued walking toward the door, taking the bag and jacket that were hanging by the door, leaving without looking back.
Kakashi froze for a few seconds after her exit and all he wanted was to run after her and bring her close to finish what they had started. When he heard that she wanted him to do everything he wanted with her, it was too much to bear but he held the control that was weak and almost slipping, remembering the damn scroll that was resting in the drawer of that table where he wanted to have her once for all.
Another lightning broke the sky, brightening the room where he was left alone mulling the guilty feeling for leaving the only good thing that happened in his broken life, to leave.
Note: KakaSaku is my favorite ship among all. This note is not relevant, I just wanted to share how much I love this couple.
Thanks for review: crossy112, generaltay, thatrandomgirl, Guest, kayna96, loveitasakuxx and Vetla12.