December 23,XXXX

It's so close to Christmas, and I've been busy at the bar. We would be closed for Christmas Eve so that Ace and I could have our family dinner and open presents. This year, I got him a hat. A garishly orange hat that I know he wanted since he found out that one of the village girls that kept on pestering him hated that color.

Somedays I wonder if everything he does is out of spite. Someone tells him not to break girl's hearts, he turns them down and tells them he's gay (which he isn't, but he might be bi). I tell him to wash the dishes, he washes them and lets them out to dry and they get dirty again with dust (but he was 5 so he says that doesn't count), and I couldn't punish him because- Baterilla, island where children are treasured.

I tell him he's too dumb to finish elementary early, he studies like a boss and finishes 1 year early like he's some sort of genius. My baby brother lives to prove me wrong.

And now there's this. Our first Christmas with my lover, his soon to be brother-in-law (despite us not being engaged yet).

Ace just had to ruin it when it was getting good-

It was Christmas eve, and Ace loved the hat, and he didn't like Suki-san's present (a marine badge), and outright threw it back at his face. Suki-san wasn't phased, but I could tell he was a bit saddened... maybe not much.

But I worked hard on my present for him, and I was hoping he'd treasure it, and remember our first gifts to each other. I sewed him a tie. A nice red tie with his initials on them.

"It's for when you become a Vice Admiral, I made it myself," I told him because I really do believe he'll achieve his dreams. "-but if you don't like the color, I'll make you another one. I heard admirals have their own color and I..."

He holds my hands which were fidgetting in nervousness. When have I turned into such a nervous girly wreck?!

"It's outstanding. I'll use it, and I'll think of you every time I do." He said with a smile, although still very unnatural on his features, it brings a warm heat to my heart.

"I have something for you too, but it's not as great as what you've given me." He says as he hands me a wrapped box.

"Its a dress I saw, and I was reminded of you, how we first met." I blushed bright red, remembering the incident with my undergarments.

I opened it, to reveal a simple blue dress with frills in the shoulders. I loved it immediately.

"I know this doesn't equal with the gift you gave me, so how about I make it up to you?" He leaned in, a little too close to be innocent.

I returned the challenge "Oh really?"

And that's how I ended up with a very hot man between my thighs on the night of Christmas Eve. Lavishing me with all the kisses I could ever wish for, and a nice thick rod of pure man meat-

"ALICE!" Ace had screamed, as the first to read the Lady Spade section of the News Coo.

Alice came up the deck upon hearing the shout. "It's too early for this." Stretching and yawning and grumbling in annoyance.

"Is that the News Coo's Lady Spade column?" She asked.

"How much damn porn did you write in her journal?! Its like the only thing the editors post here!" Alice took the paper, and after a quick scan, she was outraged.

"I only wrote 6 scenes like that. Not my damn fault the editors decided to post fan f*** fiction. I didn't even write that!" She said as she continued to read, and turn red. "Damn, whoever wrote this is good." Indignation turning to awe.

"Whatever happened to good and honest journalism?" Ace shook his head. "At this point, I'd think the media realized that Lady Spade is just a fictional character, waaay earlier than the marines did."

"Eh, I beg to differ. Look at the headlines."

"Admiral Akainu Sues News Coo for Continuing Indecent False Articles"

"Apparently, Akainu will be ending our little game. But look here." Alice points out. "Lady Spade journal copies are being sold pre-order for 3,000 berries a copy."

"Oh, and Novelists and Readers Organization called it "The hottest read of the year!" Ace adds, reading from the entertainment article.

"Huh, but it seems like we'd need to make an appearance soon. Fans would find it weird that Lady Spade hadn't commented at least once about this very explicit invasion of her privacy." Alice smiles, crazed. "Any plans Capt'n?"

Sengoku rubs his head in irritation, his afro just bouncing right back to its usual form.

"Damn it! I knew the media shouldn't have mass produced her journal."

"Serves them right, those ungrateful attention whoring newshounds." Akainu spits with venum as he reads the article.

Sengoku only looks pointedly, warning Akainu that if he doesn't fix his conduct, he'll get suspended for what ever the fuck he did to the pirate despite no clear evidence of it, but his time off schedules.

But besides that, Sengoku shrugs. After all, it wasn't just Akainu who was defiled of their respectable (notorious) names.

Just yesterday, Portgas D. Ace (first mate and little brother of Lady Spade) had set the News Coo main office on fire and had grilled, roasted, barbequed and fried 100 birds (55 of which trained messenger birds) and force-fed (had a barbeque party) half of it down the throats of the kidnapped and hostaged News Coo employees, as revenge for spoiling her sister's good name, and a clear warning on what he'll do to the big boss of the News Coo and Economic journal if they cross Lady Spade (and her brother) again.

Morgans was so scared, he used all of his connections to guard him, marine and underground bodyguards. But he was so eager to sell the Lady Spade journal (explicitly edited), he continued to print it. Of course, being a journalist for the more exciting segments, he didn't really focus on the gossip sections and let his employees to the segment. Thinking that it was all legit from Lady Spade's journal.

Word was(because the bird doesn't want it announced in the news), Lady Spade herself burnt down the whole printing house, and decided to grill some more chicken as Morgans' connections were knocked unconscious by her power.

Sengoku wanted to scream. It wasn't enough that Lady Spade was this notoriously, insanely strong woman, she had to have Conqueror's Haki of all things!

"You, why are you laughing." Sengoku stares at Akainu, reading the "original" copy of the diary of Annie Noir D. Portgas. Given to them by Morgans himself, stating that it may hold the pirate's weakness.

"I'm just laughing at how love struck this woman seems. I haven't even met her, and she's the reason why my girlfriend broke up with me." Despite the words being said, the room was getting a little too toasty for his liking.

"I'm sorry?" Sengoku doesn't know what to say, except maybe to chill or cool down, but that would be very petty of him.

"No, it's fine. I was gonna break up with her anyway. Too clingy and possessive." Akainu states, looking less and less like the lover from the novel. Because at this point, that's all it is, a novel. It's not a journal nor a diary. Its a fanatical work of fiction about two living people.

Sengoku might not be sure that Lady Spade exists, but he is 100% certain that that monstrosity (journal) is a defining work of sexual fiction... And he's damn well scared of all the things people could think of.