The Malfoy Manor was dark and foreboding at night, particularly during a new moon. The snow-covered hedges seemed to reach out to her, to pull her into their ranks and never let her out. Pansy shuddered and crouched down in the garden, where Draco had told her to hide. She wanted to see her father before she returned to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays, but she also did not want to be in close proximity to the Dark Lord. The pressures of joining her father in their ranks would be too much to bear, if that happened. And she didn't want to be a death eater. Though she didn't care at all for mudbloods or muggles, she still didn't like what the Dark Lord's side stood for, even in her best friend was now a part of it. Draco had snuck her into his house where many of the Death Eaters were hiding, so that she could try to find her father. She hadn't seen him in over a year. Her mother wasn't sure if he was even still alive, as the two lived alone with one another in the house, separated by flights of stairs and empty memories. But Draco had told her he was alive, and living in the Manor. He told her he could bring her father out to her in the garden.

Suddenly, Pansy heard footsteps on the white cobblestone. They echoed around her in a way that made it very difficult to tell where they were coming from. She peeked around a bush and her heart stopped. He Who Must Not be Named was gliding through the garden. He looked furious, with his lip curled up towards his snake-like nose, and his eyes hard and cold in the night. Behind him walked her father. He was a balding man in his late 50s. He was tall, as always, with thick, furrowed eyebrows, but his usual stern look was replaced by an expression of pure terror.

"You were to stay with Nagini and make sure the Potter boy could not escape," The Dark Lord hissed. Her father shrank back, as He Who Must Not be Named turned to face him.

"My lord, I left only for a moment. I returned as quickly as I could. I never would have guessed-"

"I know you never would have guessed, Parkinson," He Who Must Not be Named muttered coldly. "That's why you have no further use to me. Avada Kedavra!" Pansy gasped and fell back against the bushes she hid in. Silent tears streamed down her face as she stared at the body of her father. Behind her, the Dark Lord walked the other way, and could swear she heard him murmur, "Nagini, dinner."

Pansy woke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. Ever since her father's death, she had been forced to relive that night over and over in her dreams. Now that the Dark Lord was dead, the memories should haunt her less, but they didn't. They were stuck to her like her family name, and her reputation as a cowardly Slytherin. She was glad that she had a room to herself now, with everyone gone. It wouldn't do to have anyone else hear her screaming, or see her tears in the night. She glanced over at her clock. 4:15, of course. Pansy knew that any other attempts at sleep would evade her, though, so she slipped out of bed and headed down to the prefect's bathroom the administration had forgotten to change the password of. She drew the bath with as many distracting scents and colors as she could, trying to get her mind off of everything else. She shimmied out of her robe, and felt goosebumps crawl across her pale skin in the cool air of the bathroom. She surveyed herself for just a moment in the large ornate mirror that hung to the side of the bath. She was thinner than usual, with her breasts a full cup size smaller than they used to be. Her dark brown hair hung slightly past her shoulders, highlighting the angles in her face through which her high cheek bones cut. Her wide brown eyes had dark circles under them, and Pansy wondered how much sleep she had gotten in the past week. Not enough. She turned around and sank into the bath, only to hear someone else open the door to the bathroom. She sank down in the bubbles. Wasn't there a charm on the door that barred someone from entering the room if it was already occupied? The blonde head of Luna Lovegood appeared in the doorway. Pansy stared at her in disbelief. The Ravenclaw girl seemed to have a habit of appearing everywhere Pansy ended up this year.

"Hello, Pansy," Luna said, smiling sleepily. "You're up early! The Marauder's Map told me you were here." Pansy wondered what a marauder's map was. Probably something like a nargle or some other of Luna's creatures.

"So you decided to come find me in the prefect's bathroom at 4 in the morning, then? Can I not get one second of privacy?" Pansy's tone was harsh, but she was secretly very glad to see anyone. She hated being alone after one of her nightmares. The darkness could get far closer to her when she was alone.

"Myrtle said you were crying in your sleep again," Luna said. Her normally unperturbed face seemed to have a hint of worry. "Are you alright, Pansy?"

"No." Her own answer shocked her. Ashamed at having admitted a weakness, she looked down into the bubbles. She was so lonely, and so desperate for someone to talk to that wasn't connected to Death Eaters or Slytherin that she was confiding in Luna. And she found that she didn't want to stop herself. She wanted to let herself like Luna. She was so weak, but at least for the moment she didn't care. She felt a tear well up in the corner of her eye, and she angrily reached up to brush it away. Luna walked to the edge of the bath and sat down. She took Pansy's head into her lap and gently stroked her hair.

"I was in the Malfoy Manor when your father died. I was in the basement but I heard about it later. I didn't know who he was, but they said he was a father. I'm sorry that he was yours," Luna said. Pansy laid back against Luna and closed her eyes as Luna's small fingers brushed across her hair. She felt calmer now. Less afraid and less angry. She looked up at Luna.

"He deserved to die. He failed his side of the war and didn't attempt to help the other side. He was uncommitted and a coward. But I loved him anyways. Could you hand me a towel? I'm going to get out."

Luna handed her one of the towels on the large rack beside her and turned away politely so that Pansy could wrap it around herself. She turned back around, and embraced Pansy with both arms, squeezing the shorter girl against her chest. After a moment Pansy broke the embrace. Luna looked at her strangely for a moment.

"I think I want to kiss you," she said, a serene look on her face.

Pansy moved towards her again before she knew what she was doing, and suddenly her lips were on Luna's lips, and she was dissolving into the blonde girl, forgetting everything like she hoped she would. Her lips were so soft, so strange, just like the rest of her. Pansy's hands moved over Luna's body, hungrily. She needed to feel more of the blonde girl. Then all of a sudden she was back in the present. Back with the Ravenclaw blood traitor from the strange family all purebloods looked down upon. She pushed Luna away roughly.

"That can't happen again. I have to go." With that, she grabbed her clothes and rushed out of the bathroom. She heard Luna calling her name but didn't look back.