Entry 3

I think I'm depressed. I cant stop thinking about my parents. But I feel as if if I don't I'll loose them in my memory forever.

But even so, I have been so moody lately and don't know why. While I'm not depressed over my parents, I should be elated. My life is going amazing. I have all my friends, my boyfriend, Hogwarts, magic, hell I even have house elves to clean after me.

But on the other hand, I'm not talking to Charlotte or Melanie because they cant stop sucking face with their boyfriends to talk to me, James is all a fuddled with being Quidditch captain, Hogwarts is going fucking crazy because of all the muggle attacks, and the house elves are enslaved.

And then there's Hayden.

Hayden Rae Cross.

What a man.

What a god.

What an ass.

I don't really know what to do with that whole situation, you see, like I had stated earlier James is so busy with Quidditch that in between I have been writing to Hayden.

Don't judge me!

Its not like I'm dirty talking or anything, its just nice to have someone ask how my day is!

Normal day with James:

10:00pm

*James flops down on couch, covered in mud and exhausted*

*me, looks up from book.* "Babe, your running yourself too hard."

*barely mumbles with eyes half closed* "I know"

*both go to bed*

I know. What a relationship we have!

So I just got a letter from Hayden…..

Dear Lily,

I'm sorry to hear about you feeling neglected. I happen to have some news that might help with this dilemma.

I was talking with Damien today about how we want to go somewhere. And, like it was fate, with both came to the same conclusion.

On your next Hogsmeade visit, I will be staying at the leaky cauldron. You could join me for a butterbeer or two. It would be nice seeing you in person after our letters.

I could show you how a real man would treat you.

-Hayden C.

I shudder just from reading it.

I bet this guy would be one hell of a talker in bed.

"Lily!" I was walking, very quickly, to my next class when James yelled for me.

"Hey…"I said slowly, still moving through the little students at a quick speed.

"Where's the fire Lils?" He said in a laugh.

"Don't you need to be somewhere?" I asked in a sharp tone.

James visibly flinched. "You're angry."

"Well spotted."

"What did I do?"

I had reached my classroom, "Its more the matter of what you haven't done." Then I slipped into my class room.

Yes, I realize I was being a bitch.

At dinner that night I sat next to James as usual and prepared to sit in silence as I had for the last week. James had been talking to his team members, arguing over tactics and laughing over inside jokes that happened at practice.

"Lily?" James whispered to me.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

I smiled, and bit my lip. He leaned down to my ear, "I miss you."

I smiled wider, "I miss you too."

"I'm sorry we haven't talked a lot the last couple of weeks."

"I know…" I said with my head hung a bit.

"Come on Lils, lets get out of here." He stood up and took my hand. We got up and walked out the doors of the great hall and James started to take me outside.

"James its freezing out there! We need to go get our cloaks!"

He chuckled, "Lily, we're wizards." I laughed.

Right. Duh. Warming charm.

He took my hand and we went toward our rock next to the water, it was close to full moon. I wondered if Lupin was nervous. I felt so sad for him.

His thumb was caressing my head, I loved his hands. They were so manly.

"James…"

"Yes love," He whispered into my hair. We had been sitting on our rock in silence for a while.

"What's going to happen to us?"

"What do you mean sweetheart?"

"What's going to happen once Hogwarts is over?"

"That's not for a while."

"I know…" I said I a low voice, it was stupid of me to ask.

He gave a content sigh, "We'll graduate and then we'll live together, or you'll get a flat with Melanie or something. It will all work out."

"B-But—"

"Go on."

"What if you're done with me then? I mean, it will have been so many years since you started to like me, wont you be tired of me by then?"

He laughed, "Lets just hope I can keep you entertained enough so you don't go off and find another man."

I laughed, and squeezed his hand.

He leaned back, and let me lay almost on top of him. He ran his fingers through my hair, "So, how was your day?"

I smiled so wide it hurt.

He laughed at my large smile. "What?"

"Oh nothing. I was just thinking how nice that was to hear."

"Okay?" He said, a chuckle still lingering in his voice.

"It was a good day now, how was you're practice?"

"Oh god, the new beater we got to sub in for Jinkins is horrid! I wanted to slap him all through practice! He keeps on asking me about Charlotte…."

And so we sat for a good two hours just talking and then he decided we should back up to the castle but I didn't want to say goodnight.

He leaned over to my lips, and gave me a lingering 'goodnight' kiss. "Keep your window unlocked."

"What?!"

"Marauder remember?"

I bit my lip in anticipation.

"You have no idea what it does to me when you do that…" He groaned, pushing his lips harder against mine.

"Oy! No public snogging!" Sirius chimed in with his arm over Charlotte and Remus.

"That's rich coming from you." Charlotte said, "We're we just out there snogging?"

"All three of you!?" I asked.

"No!" They yelled in unison.

Well, not Sirius, he just smirked, "Why Lily would that turn you—"

James cleared his throat, "I was not snogging, I was merely saying goodnight. Which I will now do you and then go to bed."

Sirius puckered up. James slapped the back of his head and called him a prat.

"Oh and Charlotte?" He yelled from the staircase.

"Yeah?"

"Watch out for Jinkins."

She nodded, "Yea, he's a creeper."

Sirius shook his head. "He's more than that…he's like a…defilementor."

"Good word!"

"I try, I try." He said while taking bows.

I laughed and went upstairs, quickly trying to change before James got there.

"Jesus Lily…" He said as my top had left my body. He came at me then, his hand everywhere.

"Lily…Lily let me…"

"Let you what James?" I said in a breathy voice, my fingers digging at his body. Clawing at his back as I made his shirt rise up, I wanted our bare chests to touch each other, to feel his abs against me. I wanted to feel his warmth. He was pushing me towards my bed, having already taken off my bra, his hands traced every inch of my torso.

"God, I missed you," His mouth in captured on my nipple, making me arch into his body. He groaned and pushed me on the bed, grinding his hips against mine.

Unfortunately when we fell on the bed we made a very loud nose and the canopy rumbled. Things from my nightstand fell onto the floor and onto us.

"Whoops…" We both began laughing. I put my quill back on the night stand and then it hit me.

The letter.

Hayden.

James suddenly stopped moving and the smile from his face drained.

I saw that he was holding the one secret that I'd ever kept from him.

His mouth fell more each line he read.

"What the hell is this?!"

Every couple has their problems…though a hunky, dark, tale, handsome, sweet talker normally isn't one of them….

Thank you for all the reviews!

Lots of Love,

Jenna