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open book

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As per my expectations, the next day was much more better than the first one.

The day was the soothing reassurance that yes, first day of school always sucked in one way or another but it was going to be a lot more survivable later on after I'd get nicely settled.

I eagerly wished for the new arrivals' excitement to reduce soon enough but much to my chagrin, people still weren't enough satisfied from the day before so they continued gawking at me and my sister—more than ever. And then there were some boys, behaving as if we were morsels to devour. Bella got most of the attention, with her sweet, pretty looks and shy nature making her more approachable than me.

What with me ridiculing Jessica the day before, the word spread fast and I became the mega bitch of everyone's eyes. Not to mention how my appearance gladly gave me the title of Ice Bitch 2.0, just a step after Rosalie Hale. It was very sorrowful and I almost cried, violating all my sworn oaths to not cry over trivial, stupid things. Seriously though, I wasn't that much of a dick who went around pouncing on other people with my cutting mouth. I liked smiling and making new friends and helping whenever I could. That was what I was initially doing, coming to the Cullens' defense.

My tarnished reputation wasn't what made my day better. No.

It was better because of other things. Because despite those rumors about me being tossed around, I had actually made friends! Not many, though. I was rather picky in that concerns. Socializing? Yep, count me in. I could do that with any and everybody. Forming friendships hastily? Nah. I was absolutely reluctant because I wanted people to be friends with me not only because I was the shiny new toy here.

I remember how people were crowding around Bella, like the book had narrated, just because of the very same reason and I didn't want myself to suffer the same fate. I wanted real friendship and friends, all based in honesty.

The day was better because I hung out more with Samantha Wells, a strawberry blonde in Junior class who was spunky and awkward and sweet. Then there was Angela Webber—also with whom I'd initiated a small friendship with. She mostly hung out more with Bella and personally, I almost felt bad for Angela. In later months, she was going to be tossed aside when Bella'd take place along beside her new supernatural family and find a new best friend in Alice and later in Jacob. It made me feel bad for myself. Was Bella going to toss me aside as well and get all sisterly with Alice? It was a horrifying thought and the answer came equally as horrifying.

Rather than that, the day was better because of Jessica Stanely, who was still bitter from yesterday's honest insults. Consequently, she was less enthusiastic to converse with me besides a few hostile greetings. I bet she was cursing me with every vile word out there every time she looked at me with those sharp, scornful eyes of hers.

The next thing that pleased me greatly was my sorta bitty friendship with Alice Cullen.

It certainly blossomed a tad bit more than the day prior. Mainly our mutual love for fashion and similarly cheerful personality contributed largely in our conversations. We'd greet eachother in the beginning of the Trig class and have a small talk before shutting up and focusing on the teacher and class. And after the end of the period, we'd walk together to our respective classes, once again resuming our chat. It was not that much progress where we would suddenly start calling eachother BFF's but still, what little I had with Alice was enough than being mere strangers.

And most of all, the day turned freaking lovely because of Edward Cullen's absence.

Our last encounter at the hallway left me both, furious and stunned. Trust me, I understood the logic behind his actions, but that didn't mean I was easily forgiving him for the lovely bruise.

I was full on relishing his absenteeism. My mood did dampen a little seeing my sister strangely disappointed and sullen at Edward's sudden disappearance. And she didn't even consider it necessary to open up with me—which was like a painful bitch slap to my face since we had made a habit of sharing almost everything.

More like I had made a habit of getting everything out of her—worries, thoughts, opinions, feelings and so on.

Still, I wasn't some insensitive, inconsiderate bitch who'd scold her just for the sake of releasing my own pent up frustration regarding her. I respected her choices enough to not do that. It was totally up to her to open up with me with something that she considered too personal to voice out aloud. I wouldn't force or burden her at that matter. I suspected that she didn't want to dump her worries on me, like she never did being the most selfless one she was in the Swan bunch.

And as expected, the Cullens were bestowing my sister with these angry, accusing, creepy looks. I hoped it would go unnoticed by Bella seeing how that girl had a natural, mandatory tendency to turn everything against herself in the most dramatic way. But my wishes were unanswered and Bella noticed anyway. And being the annoyingly naive human she was, she felt like she'd done something terribly wrong to receive and deserve all those looks. This whole thing set me off real bad.

Oh, please. Those dicks for Albino supermodels.

What were they originally accusing her of? Chasing their precious brother away because Bella just couldn't resist smelling delicious? It wasn't her fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, period. And if they were so worried that Edward wouldn't return for ever, then they were going to get the shock of their life at the end of this week. Tanya Denali—of all people—would convince and encourage him to return to Forks.

And he would be back again. Tada.

And also, my peaceful days would come to an end too. Ta-hell no-da.

At the end of yet another school day, I went to get the groceries for our empty excuse for kitchen. Dad couldn't cook to save his life and there was no food in the house. Dad must be sick having those unhealthy takeouts for years. On summers I visited, I often made him promise to discontinue the habit and learn to cook but all those effort were in vain. There was nobody here to care after him and he was just so lonely. But that was before Bella and I sauntered here for a long stay. And we were perfectly capable of feeding our dad some decent food, alright.

There was nothing else for Bella to do except sit alone in her room and ponder over her life and choices, so she decided that I could use extra help and drove us to the Thriftway, but not before doing one of her usual tasks that was recently added tin her to-do list—drool over the Cullens who were getting into their cars in the parking lot.

One word, three syllables.

Pathetic.

If only she had the slightest clue how much the Cullens would be happy to put her in a grave.

The Thriftway was not far from the school, just a few streets south, off the highway. It was nice to be inside the supermarket—felt normal. Bella and I did the shopping at home, switching turns and it was easy falling into the pattern of the familiar task gladly. Mom wasn't usually interested in such things so the completion of the household tasks shifted to us.

The store was big enough inside that I couldn't hear the tapping of the rain on the roof. When we got home, Bella unloaded all the groceries, stuffing them wherever she could find an open space.

I scolded her for that and neatly arranged the items in proper places. I even labeled the jars with the respective names of the contents, and doodles of flowers and smileys.

Bella insisted on cooking the dinner, ignoring my help. She politely shoo-ed me to go and do my homework and I agreed like an obedient puppy, actually relieved. If the comparison was done, my sister did cooking a lot more better than me but I was more proficient in baking. It was one of my favourite pastimes and sometimes my solace when everything began to deteriorate into a mess.

In the spare time I was granted, I did my homework, despite feeling profoundly bored to no extent. And just after I finished, I checked my mails, messages and calls. Mom was frantic. It took me a rather long mail to reassure her that me and Bella were still alive and about the school stuff and about dad. My friends from Phoenix were equally frantic too—which brought a wide smile on my face. The things I loved most about that city were the friends I made. Crazy juveniles. I messaged most of them about my stay in Forks and called a few. I always found it gloomy how Bella never had anyone to contact to beside our mother in Phoenix. She didn't have... friends. Sure she would tag along with me and my friends at my stubborn insistence but that was it, she mostly kept to herself, probably viewing herself some almighty adult and not childish enough to meddle in her little sister's affairs. Some wallflower she was.

The said girl called me and dad down when the dinner was finally ready. It was good, steak and potatoes. I didn't like meat much. No, not because of Bella's cooking. I just preferred vegan foods more.

Dad, me and Bella ate in silence, a comfortable one at that. I didn't talk much, surprising everyone including myself. The first night after school, I'd talked their ears off with my vivacious chatter about the school and teachers and friends.

Bella and dad discussed about stuffs, school, friends and the Cullens—insert some eye rolling here—Bella of course had to go on and indirectly call them 'outcast', earning herself a rather long speech from dad as he defended the Cullens. And at Bella's flabbergasted look, I cracked up so bad. It caused Bella to glare daggers and knives at me and that only did worse and increased my hysteria. I was this close to choking myself to death. Several times throughout rest of the dinner, I caught dad throwing these worrisome looks at me—obviously wondering how much crazy his youngest daughter could possibly be.

I was definitely a little bit cracked on inside. For someone who knew too much for her own good, it was justifiable.

The rest of the week was uneventful. By Friday, I was able to recognize and name, almost majority of the students at school. To my utter dissatisfaction, I was still sitting with Jessica's group at the lunch. There would also be times I'd prefer eating in the library and having peaceful time to myself but other times, I had to endure the pain in the neck that was the constant, mindless chatter around the table.

In one conversation, a trip to La Push beach was mentioned which reminded me that I needed to pay a visit soon. The following weekend wouldn't be possible seeing how I had too much homework and assignments pending. I also had my own schemes pending as well.

My first week in Forks passed amazingly. More than I could ask for.

The next Monday was the day to be dreaded. The return of darling Edward.

Throughout the time being when he was gone, I had a whole week to crack some plans in making this world—not really—a better place. You see, wiping out unnecessary dramas, helping Bella and trying out some new baking recipes. But with him back, the book's events were starting to unfold. Too quickly than I would've liked.

I sometimes got mad over how Stephanie Meyer rushed the series. For instance, Edward and Bella fell in love with eachother before I could even finish saying 'disgusting'. They just had two conversations concerning how they should stay away from eachother but bam! They were so in love after that.

It wasn't adorable. It was screwed up. And creepy. Their whole relationship was dangerously toxic.

God, I would gladly do something if I was given the golden ultimatum to pair the duo with other people who were worthy enough of them...

But no, I couldn't.

Man, I was surely going to have my hands full around upcoming days.

Because of the rushed events, I was sick worried for my sister. I didn't want her to be stuck into some relationship where the guy didn't even deem her as an equal. And neither did she once stood up for herself and made her own freaking decisions or choices! For me, relationships ought to be based on respect, no fucked up controlling, and utmost equality—all the things Bella and Edward's forthcoming relationship was not going to possess. It was nauseous, knowing how much Bella would turn out to be so... so dependent. Not only with Edward, but then with Jacob too. Like how in New Moon Bella needed Jacob to fill the void that Edward left.

At moments like these, where I'd start pondering over their relationship, I'd always make the solid resolution to help them in the future. Perhaps I could stop it from being completely disastrous. Especially if it was within my control.

"You don't look like your usual self." Samantha commented as we walked together to our class. We both had Biology. Sadly, we couldn't pair together as Samantha already had a partner and the only seat left was beside a quiet girl named Lori.

I shrugged nonchalantly and rubbed hands over my flushed cheeks in an attempt to keep my blood circulation going.

"Huh, I wasn't aware..." I said slowly. "And my usual self you say? What does it constitute of?"

I played dumb and pressed my lips together. Just this morning I saw a silver Volvo—undoubtedly Edward's—present in the parking lot which had considerably drained my optimism for today. The darling boy was back.

"You know, the energetic one who punches me all the time," Samantha replied, and plastered a sweet smile.

"Hey, I don't punch," to make a point, I delivered a swift slap on her arm. "Girl, is this a punch? I'm a good, kind person."

She snorted. "Yep. A goody two shoes."

"Exactly."

I grinned mischievously and winked at the strawberry blonde.

If only she knew how cunning and evil I really was.

The air was full of swirling bits of white. I could hear people shouting excitedly to each other. The wind bit at my cheeks, my nose.

"It's snowing," I heard Samantha murmuring beside me, sounding displeased.

Not a fan of snow, I see.

Hell, Mother nature was gifting them with the glory to experience her delights and look at people like her! Doing nothing but getting tire of it. My inner sun-hating self was raging.

"Be a happy duck," I looked at the little cotton fluffs that were building up along the sidewalk and swirling erratically past my face. I giggled loudly and held my both hands out, letting the small bits fall on them.

"Back in Phoenix, the concept of snow and cold was foreign. Most people honestly didn't have any idea how beautiful it really could be. Think of all the snow fun we were missing out! I missed this, I missed Forks." I voiced my thoughts aloud with a gleeful expression.

Living in Phoenix was pure torture sometimes.

"You'll get tired of all this eventually. Everyone does. Just wait and see."

I glared at Samantha who was eyeing the snow with distaste.

"It astounds me how ungratefully hateful some people can be. Speak one word against my lovely Forks and I will ruin this pretty face," To prove my point, I threateningly pointed my index finger at her face and wagged it around.

My lovely friend was unaffected by my warning.

"Whatever, Amber..." she rolled her eyes that reminded me so much of the greenery that presented itself in Forks and grinned down at me—since she was taller than my 5 '4 self, which was totally unfair. "You know what? You should definitely try in acting. You'll give Nicholas Cage a run for money. Mark my words."

I smiled almost arrogantly. "When I was younger, I was a Scout Girl who manipulated old people into buying my cookies with all kind of sob stories. The constant, trusted one being about my non-existent but freshly dead dog."

Samantha gaped. "You're horrible."

Flicking my ponytail over my shoulder as some dramatic gesture, I looked smugly at my friend who seemed amused.

"Only the star seller, Sam."

"What was the name of your non-existent dog. Did it even have one?"

"I changed it on occasions," I grinned. "And accordingly to people. One time I made a woman cry because my dead dog happened to have the same name as her lost kitten's. What a sad, sad coincidence."

She shook her head. "Really horrible."

Throughout the morning, everyone including me chattered excitedly about the snow. Apparently, it was the first snowfall of the new year. Wasn't it wonderful that I got to experience that?

Alice greeted me cheerfully, well more cheerful than usual, as we conversed enthusiastically about the weather. I made sure to not let my woe shine through that partially friendly mood of mine.

Right... the reason behind her truckload of happiness being that her favourite brother, Edward, coming back from Alaska.

History came, which was quite... interesting. Turns out, Edward was in the same class as me. It shocked and horrified me a lot. I didn't notice it until now. Undoubtedly, the reason being my inconsideration in the first day. I remember how I didn't exactly leisure time to survey around and analyze everything in detail.

He was seated at the farthest corner of the room, with his head down, seemingly concentrating in his notebook like it was the most interesting thing ever created.

I stood at the door, blinking frantically for a bit before sighing and skipping over my seat, which was at the very first row. I settled myself and my stuffs down, organizing everything precisely.

Class started. I really did like History, unlike Trigonometry and Gym.

It was only a few minutes later that I felt a burning sensation underneath the skin of my back.

Someone was watching me.

It shouldn't have been bothersome to me as I had long ago learned to endure people's eyes on me. But this... this feeling was strange, just something else entirely. Like someone was not trying to stare at me but through me. And I might just know who that someone could be.

Darling Edward. Why couldn't he just suck me dry instead and end this once and for all rather than give me an hour of staring torture?

I was certain it was him because last Monday, at the lunch, I had this very same feeling when Edward bawled his eyes out, staring at me.

I didn't turn around to confirm my guess. I just sat there on my seat and focused on the teacher. Almost agonizingly slow, the creepy sensation began vanishing along with my wee bit of unease. When History ended, so did the torture. I wasted no time rushing out of the class. You'd think the ground would swallow me whole if I stayed any longer.

It was lunch time, which brought forth snow fights and excited laughter. To my absolute delight, mush balls were flying everywhere and everytime I'd get attacked by one—which was after every five seconds—I'd respond in kind and laugh it off insanely. Samantha greeted me with a snowball. I greeted her back with a few.

I caught up with Bella in the food line, giggling like crazy. I slung one arm around her shoulders.

"Why are you so red?" I asked, noticing that her body was set on fire despite the coldness that presented itself outside. She was blushing madly, but why? "You look adorable. Like my puppy."

She frowned. "You never had any puppy."

"But I did," I shared a look with Samantha, enjoying our private joke.

"Snow is making you crazy."

"Wasn't I already?"

Ignoring my comment, Bella shrugged my arm off with a disgusted grunt. My seemingly irritated sister wrinkled her nose, face still in the brightest shade of red which was comical as hell.

"You're dripping," she pointed out the obvious.

"Aftermath of getting repeatedly hit by snowballs. Remember us as children in the snow? We can be like that again sometime."

Bella smiled at my offer and her facial features softened visibly.

"No."

I huffed, my pleading look transformed into a victorious one. "I'll take that as an yes then, thank you for agreeing Bells. You're always so supportive."

I ran a hand through my head which was a little damp. Bits of snow stuck in them were melting. My coat was a little damp. But I didn't feel uncomfortable, at all. I twisted my ponytail and slid off the rubber band. My hair tumbled down. My bangs were already curling around my forehead.

From the looks of it, Bella was about to say something but Jessica interrupted her by pulling Bella's arm and wrenching her attention away from me.

"Hello? Bella, what do you want?" Jessica asked.

The tomato in question casted her eyes down, blushing like mad. Oh, that's why Edward found it so hard to resist her. I mean, dude, look at all that blood. Why wouldn't he be tempted?

"What's with Bella?" Mike asked Jessica in a very worried tone. Mike and Eric had their sights on Bella and apparently, were chasing after her attention. They were polite when it came to me but I was mostly ignored.

I spoke up, "Oh, she's just diagnosed with this disease called shyness. Don't worry, that's short-lived. Fades with time and reappears without notice."

I almost urgently heard my sister telling me to shut up like it was her norm to do when it concerned me, and Mike and Jessica throwing me guarded but unpleasant looks.

I rolled my eyes at my sister's well-freaking-wishers and turned my attention elsewhere until it was my turn to get food. Buying some sandwiches, two plain chocolate muffin and a soda, I gave the old grey haired lady a smile and paid for the food.

Like any other day, it was appealing, really, that I wanted to find some vacant table and dump myself there but the reminder that I had to stick with Bella assaulted my senses, and so I went to where she was and sat down beside her, placing my tray down carefully.

The occupants of the table chorused a greeting together. I grinned when Samantha bumped her shoulder into mine from my other side. Needless to say, she was my comfort to endure this lunch.

I took one of the two muffins and presented it to Bella.

"A muffin for my cupcake," I said fondly and unwrapped it. "Eat up, sis."

"I'm not hungry," she fiddled with her soda, a sad excuse in the name of lunch. As if I didn't notice how she only got that soda for her appetite.

"No one says no to sweetness. I bought it for you, Bella. Have it already or I'll eat it and also collect the money for it from you."

She took it and nodded. Then I started happily munching on my food when Jessica's sudden questioning provoked my interest.

"Bella, what are you staring at?" Jessica asked.

I followed both Jessica and Bella's stare at the Cullens, or more precisely, at Edward. And that very moment, his eyes flashed over to meet mine, managing to freak me out a little. I hastily gulped down my sandwich and choked.

Coughing, I reached for my soda and took a long sip. Looking back to Edward, I saw the funny quirk of his mouth. I scrunched my eyebrows maliciously. I was sure, though, in the instant our eyes met, that he didn't look harsh or unfriendly or deadly as he had the last time I'd seen him. He looked merely curious, unsatisfied in some way and deeply thoughtful. We continued looking at eachother, his unnerving stare sending an unwelcomed wave of chill down my spine that I gladly took for dislike.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jessica giggled into Bella's ear, being not-so-quiet which grabbed a hold of my attention. Smirking, I tried to conceal laughter at Jessica's oblivion and Bella's blush. But I couldn't help but snort.

"No, he isn't," Bella defended, turning to give me a blank look before gazing down at the table, letting her hair mask her face.

"He is!" Jessica insisted, her eyes still on Edward, like mine was.

I sighed softly and just to get a kick out of it, I let my lips curve up into an extremely flirty and over the top smile. I even fluttered my eyelashes suggestively like the shameless person I was. My simpering had him changing the curious expression into an amused, entertained one.

I snorted quietly before turning to my food and once again, begin devouring.

"Bella!" the curly haired gossip queen whined when Bella remained unresponsive.

"He doesn't look angry, does he?" Bella's small voice asked.

"No," Jessica said, sounding confused by the question. "Should he be?"

Uh, no, he didn't get to be the angry one in this. Bella did, and so did I to some extent.

"I don't think he likes me."

I huffed. "Stop making such assumptions. Who knows what goes in that mind of his. You don't, I don't, and neither does anyone except for that boy himself."

To my surprise, Jessica agreed. "Yes, who knows, right?" I finally looked at her to see the brunette's eyes still on the Cullens' table. "The Cullens don't like anybody... well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But he's still staring at you."

Wrong. They did notice people. They just didn't like the people with humongous mouth and mind full of crappy things. And then I realized. People like me.

"Stop looking at him," Bella hissed which made me grin.

Mike interrupted us then—he was planning an epic battle of the blizzard in the parking lot after school and wanted us to join. Jessica agreed enthusiastically. The way she looked at Mike left little doubt that she would be up for anything he suggested. Clearly, since she was soo into him.

As kindly as I could, I pointed out that snow outside was already melting. In fact, the rain had started pouring down heavily.

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The rest of the classes passed smoothly. I got a free period which I spent in the library. My love for books never died down, only extended with more time. I loved and enjoyed all kind of literature. Ranging from classics to modern ones. I was mostly into biographies and memoirs. Jane Eyre successfully kept me entertained throughout the whole period and the tranquility surrounding me was soothing.

When the school ended, I went to my locker to tuck in my gym uniform. Seeing the vacancy of my locker, I was abruptly reminded to bring some of my favourite books to enjoy in my spare time and possibly decorate the locker with necessary stuff. Bella was already inside the truck with the heater on.

"And here comes the end of the school!" I spoke in a sing-a-song voice.

"Thank God," she sighed and started the engine. "Today was eventful."

Now that caught my attention. Bella sounded, dare I say, happy?

Oh.

"Edward talked to you today?" I inquired bluntly, already knowing the answer. Her behavior didn't come as a surprise to me. Sometimes, it was just so difficult to act oblivious. "You sound suspiciously happy."

"Oh," was her reply and she frowned, all traces of happiness vanishing from her face. Here was the entrance of my personal favourite, the detestable Bella.

I rolled my eyes and mumbled, almost to myself, my voice strangely hoarse. "Thank God you stopped behaving like someone who just crawled from the lowest pit of hell like you have been these past days."

It was the first time I mentioned anything about her mood withdrawals. Other times, I had just let her be, not voicing my worry, fearing that she would start putting up that fake happy pretense just for my sake.

"Huh?" she tried to act ignorant as she stared ahead at the road but a tinge of blush graced her cheeks which gave me the hint that she knew what exactly I was talking about. Lousy liar.

I sighed, letting it slip away. "Nothing. So, you talked with Edward today?"

"Yes, and he wasn't even rude like he was the last time we saw eachother," she answered. "Why are you even asking?"

I slumped back further into my seat. "Mere curiosity and a feeling of perpetual nosiness. And did he apologize for last Monday?"

It was confirmed.

"Yes."

A wave of strong, negative emotions erupted through me as I found myself envious of Bella even if I didn't want to. Why? Was it because of the fact Edward apologized to Bella and not me? No, it couldn't be. It wasn't like I was expecting Edward to approach me out of nowhere and get on his knees to beg for my forgiveness and grand promises to make it up to me. Though, a sincere, little sorry would have been heartwarming.

Sighing, I let my hand linger over my covered arm mindlessly, wincing a bit when it came in contact with the fading bruise. Unfortunately, it still hadn't erased completely like I hoped it would after this long amount of time. And that was an unwanted reminder of what he did.

"So..." I started and paused, realizing I didn't want to say what I was going to at the very moment.

"So?" Bella prompted.

I perked up cheerfully. "Okay so I'll make the dinner today. And you have to suck it up and let me. I'll even make some mug cakes for us!"