Author's Note: Thank you, thank you all for your feedback and follows. It means more than I can say! :)

For this chapter, please keep in mind that Monday's episode hadn't happened when I started this and some of the issues I'm trying to address here aren't based on things that have actually happened in the show. Just in my imagination. :)

Hope you enjoy and I'd love, love, love to hear what you think!

Chapter 3

Their deliciously secretive, from-across-the-room connection had been severed.

And Jane Villanueva didn't know why.

Because Rafael Solano continued to smile. To laugh. To help Alba and engage with party guests as if his mind wasn't elsewhere and his heart wasn't bruised from the impact of Michael's gift.

But whenever Jane sought his gaze, it faltered and flitted away. Found something more interesting to focus on. Or just failed to meet hers altogether.

Jane noticed the change in him almost immediately, and it sparked a fit of anxiousness in the pit of her stomach that felt very much like morning sickness.

So, when Rafael unexpectedly disappeared 20 minutes later, a concerned Jane went in search of him.

"There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere." Jane announced, running a hand up Rafael's tense back when she found him in her room. He turned to face her, a dark cloud hovering over his handsome features and his phone resting in his hand. Jane's unease spiked. "Hey. You ok?"

"Yeah, sorry. I uh…" Rafael winced his regret. "Look, I hate to do this right now, but I need to go."

"Why? What's wrong?" Instant worry rippled through Jane's eyes.

"I just got a call from the institution Luisa's in. She's having a complete meltdown, and she's demanding to see me for some reason. They've had to sedate her and…" He shrugged his uncertainty. "I…I don't know what's going on. But I need to head over there and find out."

"Ok, well, do you want me to come with you?"

"No, no, that's ok. There's not really anything you can do, and you've got your party…" He offered her a small but sincere smile, his eyes sparking with appreciation. "But thank you for the offer."

Jane relaxed at that smile. That smile told her that perhaps she'd just been imagining things. That maybe the pregnancy hormones were making her far too sensitive. That it was not out of the realm of possibility that she'd been reading him wrong all along.

She instantly brightened at a future prospect. "Ok, well, are you still going to come back after you're done? I know you stayed longer than expected, but…" Slipping her arms around his waist and linking her fingers together at the small of his back, Jane pulled him close and openly gazed up at him, a tempting smile playing on her lips. "…I was really looking forward to that private celebration you mentioned."

"Uh…" Avoiding her gaze, Rafael's brows knit in concentration as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "…I think, I think it's best if I don't."

Jane pulled back, surprised. "Really? Why not?"

"I just…I don't know how long this thing with Luisa's going to take, and you've already had a long day and…"

Pulling back even further and loosening her hold on him, Jane felt the morning sickness return. Along with an overwhelming sense of foreboding. "Ok, why do I get the feeling something else is going on here?"

"Jane..." Rafael glanced up at Jane, then quickly averted his eyes.

His expression was troubled. Troubled in a way that Jane had only seen a few times before. And each time, the source had been the same.

She gathered a calming breath as the unease in the pit of her stomach grew. She let go of him altogether and took a step back, preparing herself. "And why do I feel like it has something to do with Michael?"

Surprised by her astute perception, Rafael instinctively tried to sidestep the road Jane was trying to lead him down. "Look, Jane, now's not the time."

"If you're upset about something, then yes, it is." Jane responded with a straightforwardness that Rafael found refreshing. Comforting. Especially after his years of marriage to the ever-scheming Petra. And despite his need to be evasive at the present moment. "Rafael, come on. What is it?"

Rafael paused, considering his course of action. He could unload, let her know everything – what he'd seen, how he was feeling about what he'd seen – but that would only be shifting his own burden onto her shoulders. And for what? Just to make himself feel better?

That was not something Rafael Solano was going to do.

No, this was his issue. His and his alone.

"Honestly, Jane, it's no big deal, ok?" Placing large, warm hands on her shoulders, Rafael jostled her gently as if trying to shake the concern from her eyes. He attempted to reassure her with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes as he tried to cajol her into revelry. "Come on, this is your gradation party. You should be out there having fun with your friends, not in here worrying about me."

"Rafael…" Jane began to protest, but Rafael cut her off.

"I don't want to upset you, ok? So, please, for now, just let it go."

Jane considered him a moment. And in that moment, several other moments came rushing to her mind. Rafael listening to all of the reasons she didn't think she would have the baby he so clearly wanted and never once pressuring her to change her mind. Rafael telling her the truth about his marriage, knowing it could very well cost him custody of his own child. Rafael silently sacrificing his own fortune just so she could have a choice.

And countless other times, in countless other ways, he'd made a habit of putting her first.

Now, it was her turn.

"I'm sorry, I can't. Because you leaving me right now without telling me what's really bothering you is going to upset me." The plea in her eyes coupled with the strength of her continued argument was so persuasive, Rafael felt his resolve crumbling with barely a fight.

"Come on, Rafael. If the situation were reversed, you'd want to know so you could be there for me. I just want to do the same. Because that's what you do when you're in it together with someone. And besides, we said we would always be honest with each other, even if being honest is difficult."

Rafael sighed his resignation, knowing in his heart she had a right to stake her claim as his confidant. His shoulder to lean on. His comfort and shelter.

Still, it was with great reluctance that he finally said the words.

"I…I saw Michael's gift."

"Oh."

Interpreting Jane's one-word reaction as displeasure that he'd seen such a personal gift, Rafael hastened to clarify the genesis of the intrusion into her privacy. "I didn't mean to. I was helping Abuela in the kitchen and she was trying to clear off some space and…" He deflated, a sure sign of his deep-seated unease with the whole situation. "I promise I wasn't trying to pry or anything, it was just…there."

"It's ok." Assuming this was the invisible thing that had suddenly come between them, Jane hastened to reassure him, gathering his hands in hers. "I was going to show it to you anyway."

"You were."

"Yeah. I mean..." Shrugging dismissively, Jane tried to downplay the importance of Michael's gift. Of what it had once meant to them. What it still meant to Michael. So, she focused instead on the impossible practicality of it now. "…it doesn't really mean anything. Obviously, none of that's gonna happen. Michael just gave it to me because it's…it's just this silly tradition that we had whenever one of us accomplished something on this 'master plan' we came up with years ago."

A hint of doubt mixed with a whole lot of disbelief flashed through Rafael's eyes and spread through his expression. "Jane, I saw that plan. It isn't silly. It's the complete map of the life you wanted with him. And if you think it doesn't mean anything, it does. Especially to Michael."

"Rafael…"

"Come on, Jane. Think about it. That's why he gave it to you. To remind you of what you had with him before the baby and I…" What he was going to say next, Jane would never know because Rafael cut himself off, his expression almost pained.

Pulling his hands from hers, Rafael's agitation began to show as he sidestepped her, putting some distance between them. To Jane, it felt like he was shutting her out. To Rafael, it was a way to get his erratic emotions and wayward thoughts under control.

Because what he was about to say? It was something that should never be said. Or thought. Or even hinted at.

For the very idea that he and the baby had ruined Jane's life was…beyond unbearable.

It was something he secretly vowed he'd never let happen.

But…

What if it already had?

And then he remembered her smile, so bright and warm, whenever she saw him. And he thought of the way she snuggled into him, at times clinging to him. How her fingers instinctively entwined with his whenever he took her hand. And the eagerness of her kisses, the depth of emotions he could feel in every brush of her lips. The way she gazed into his eyes with complete joy and contentment.

It gave him the strength to push aside those disturbing insecurities.

Besides, that wasn't the real issue anyway.

A relatively composed Rafael turned back to her. "Look, I get that you have history with him and I respect that…"

"But?" Jane prompted, sensing there was more to that sentence.

"It's just…it really hit me, you know? Just how set your life was before. I mean, you had a plan, Jane. A five-year plan complete with marriage, and a house, and kids and…that's no small commitment."

Caught off guard by the direction the conversation was going, Jane's brows knit in confusion. "I don't…I don't understand. You knew we were engaged. All of those things come with that whole package called marriage."

"I know."

An unsettling, irrational panic fueled her defense. "And of the two of us, you're the one that actually went there. With Petra."

"I know that too. I do. Believe me, I get the irony of me having issues with this. And I'm trying really hard not to let it bother me, but…"

A new thought hit her. "You're not jealous are you? Because you shouldn't be."

"No, Jane. I'm not jealous." Rafael dismissed the thought as if it never occurred to him.

Growing frustrated with her inability to pinpoint the issue, Jane threw out her hands. "Then what is it?"

Gaze shifting, Rafael swallowed hard knowing his next words might stir up a hornet's nest and he could very well get stung. Or worse, Jane could.

"Rafael." It was less of a plea and more a demand.

When his gaze returned, it was layered with too many emotions to name. But if one was clear, if one reigned supreme, it is was longing. Longing for the intangible. Longing for more than what he had. Longing for something just out of his reach.

Jane's breath caught at the intensity of it.

His quiet words echoed in the silence. "I want to make plans for us, Jane. But you won't even let me plan a few weeks into our future."

"That's not true." Jane instantly denied the charge, though his words resonated in a way that shook her confidence. A twinge of acknowledgement and subsequent guilt started somewhere in the center of her heart and began to spread like wildfire.

"No? The other day when I wanted to talk about redecorating the nursery, you shut me down. And when I've tried to make holiday plans with you, you just say 'let's wait and see.'" Rafael repeated, his mumbled words nearly lost in the weariness of his sigh. "It's always 'wait and see.'"

"But…"

Hastening to clarify, to soothe, Rafael touched her. In what felt like the first time in years.

"Don't get me wrong, Jane. I know you need to take things slow right now, and if it means that I get to be with you, then I am willing to take it as slow as you want. But when I saw that plan of yours …" He paused, his Adam's apple bobbed and the muscles in his jaw jumped, indicating just how difficult it was for him to admit his feelings on this point. "…Jane, you were sure enough of Michael to put your entire life with him down on paper. And I guess I just…I wish you could be that sure of me."

"Oh, Rafael…" Jane melted at his simple, heartfelt admission, an admission of her own springing from her heart to her lips. "I…"

The beeping of Rafael's phone interrupted, eliciting a groan of frustration from Rafael as he dug his phone out of his pocket, his frown becoming more pronounced when he read his text message. "I'm so, so sorry. It's my dad asking about Luisa. I really do have to go."

"But…"

Sighing his regret, Rafael's attention turned to soothing a clearly unsettled Jane. "Look, I'm ok. We're ok. This is just something that I need to work through. Please don't worry about me or let this ruin the rest of your day." When he didn't receive a response, Rafael re-doubled his efforts. "Jane? Please?"

Jane, still trying to wrap her mind around everything Rafael had said and what it all could mean, nodded mutely in response.

Rafael paused, releasing a breath as his eyes gentled with emotion. He held out his hand. "Come here."

Unsure of herself, of them, of where to go from here, Jane slowly slipped her hand in his only to be pulled into the center of his arms. Her eyes drifted closed as a feeling of warmth and peace and rightness grabbed hold of her, trapping her and squeezing so tightly she never wanted to escape.

Tears prickled the back of her eyes as one thought overwhelmed her.

How does he not know?

And then he was speaking. Smiling. Gazing down at her with eyes bright with admiration. "Do you have any idea how proud I am of you? Of all you've accomplished? Or just how lucky our kid is to have you for a mom?"

Unable to speak or breathe, Jane silently shook her head.

"Our peach is very…" Rafael brushed his lips against Jane's forehead. "…very…" The tip of her nose was his next target. "…lucky." His forehead connected with hers as his whisper warmed her face, and sank into her heart. "And so am I. Thank you for letting me into your life."

The kiss that landed on her lips was too chaste to be satisfying. Too distracted to be truly meaningful.

And too brief to banish the dark clouds gathering on the horizon of Jane's heart.

Tbc…