Not Your Average Kind Of Love
As Arnold and Gerald stood on the expansive front porch of the Lloyd household, they peered inside to see the place decorated to the hilt. Gerald wasn't certain, but he thought he could see the shadow of a disco ball turning in one of the larger rooms. It was obvious to anyone with an eye for décor that the entire affair had been carefully planned out. Every detail had been methodically seen to.
"I don't know about this, Gerald." Arnold sighed. "Maybe I'm not ready for a party just yet. It isn't the kind of scene you can ease back into easily. I mean, I wasn't exactly the life of the ball at the prom, you know."
Gerald shook his head in annoyance. "You have been in like a constant state of depression ever since you and Rhonda broke up. Now it's pretty obvious to me that something big obviously went down there that you don't want to tell me about. And I've gotta admit that as your best friend, that hurts. But I've been respecting your space. It's your business, I get that. But it's my job to get you out of your funk. Now, we're going to Rhonda's party, and you will have a good time! Is that clear!"
"But Gerald, I just don't think-"
"No arguments!"
The spirited conversation was timely interrupted by the appearance of their hostess, Miss Rhonda Lloyd herself. She ushered them inside. "Arnold! You look wonderful!" Rhonda squeezed her old flame tightly. "How I've missed you! And Gerald, so good of you to come. I might've known you two would show up together."
"Enchante, my dear." Gerald lightly took Rhonda's hand after she and Arnold disengaged. He gently brought it to his lips and lifted an eyebrow.
"Well, your manners are certainly stronger than I recall. I do believe you might earn yourself a better reputation with the ladies than Sid himself if you keep it up."
"Perhaps, Mademoiselle, but let me assure you that I only have eyes for you." Gerald bowed to her. Now it was Arnold's turn to raise an eyebrow as he detected a faint blush on Rhonda's cheeks.
"So where is Phoebe, if you don't mind my asking?" Rhonda inquired.
"Oh, you know, she has this thing going on at her house tonight, family party. I would've gone, but you know how much her dad and I love each other." Gerald rolled his eyes to make his point. "It's cool, she promised she would make it later tonight. This party might not end until daybreak, anyway."
"It won't if I have anything to say about it." Rhonda grinned.
"Man, this place looks great!" Gerald exclaimed, fully taking in the atmosphere as Rhonda ushered them into her home.
"Why thank you!" Rhonda beamed now, clearly in her element. She adjusted the mortarboard on her head, still fresh from that evening's ceremony. Unable to get it to sit just right, she finally removed it altogether, opting instead to playfully fix the graduation cap on Arnold's head, easily done since she had a few inches on him. She shook her head slightly, causing her long, raven black tresses to cascade down her back like a waterfall. "Daddy said I should send us all off with style. And there's no such thing as too much style."
"Rhonda, I'd say you've got that covered in spades." Gerald flashed her his best smile.
"Thanks. And if you don't mind me saying, style seems to be something you're pretty keen on."
"I've been known to keep up with a trend or two."
"I've got a new arrival in my wardrobe from Milan. Why don't you come up to my room and I'll show it to you, it's to die for!" Rhonda winked at him.
"Sounds good! Let's get going before this party gets too wild."
Arnold watched as his best friend and his girlfriend went running off. "Did I just miss something?" He wondered aloud.
OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO
A little over an hour later, Arnold had finished making the rounds at the party, and there was still no sign of his best friend or the hostess. He was beginning to get a bad feeling about this, but what was he supposed to do, run upstairs and barge in on who knows what might be happening? No. Arnold shook his head. It wasn't like that. Gerald and Phoebe were too tight, and Rhonda was by no means easy.
Everyone else seemed to be having a great time. Sid was hanging out with Stinky and Harold, apparently acting as some kind of mastermind. All three of them had come alone, and according to Sid, he expected them all to go home with someone that night. Arnold himself wasn't so sure of their chances, but he wished them well anyway. Arnold held no such plans of his own. His own goals were more simplistic—get through the night without being a wallflower.
After finally managing to disengage himself from a tiring conversation with Eugene about his summer stock plans, Arnold found himself in the quiet kitchen, seeking a bit of solitude. Much to his surprise, he came across someone apparently doing the same thing. "Helga? I didn't know you were here."
Helga had been standing over the sink, hand washing dishes. The sound of her name, or more specifically, the sound of her name carried by Arnold's voice, made her entire body go rigid. She shuddered involuntarily, and her mind silently cried out to a God she considered very cruel. Finally, she spoke, for fear he would get weirded out and leave her alone. "Hey Football Head, how's it going?"
"Not so good, I'm afraid." Arnold sighed.
"Yeah, I hear that." Helga kept at her washing, keeping her hands busy. It helped.
"So, uh, that was a nice speech you gave this afternoon."
"I didn't exactly do a lot of talking. I guess I just. . .had something I wanted to say. Haven't you ever had something you wanted to get off your chest?"
"Too often."
"Well, I've had a lot I've wanted to say for years, Arnoldo."
"Want some help?"
"You're missing the party." Helga scoffed.
"So we'll have our own party in here."
"I don't think Rhonda would approve."
"Don't be so sure. I have my ways with her."
"Yes. I've noticed." Arnold wasn't sure, but the girl looked rather menacing, the way she scrubbed at a large meat cleaver while making the remark. "So spill. What're you doing in here?"
"I was looking for the punch."
"It's gone already? You've got to be kidding me? What is everyone doing? Swimming in it?"
"It's good punch, Helga." Arnold tried to explain.
"It should be. I made it."
"Why are you hanging in the kitchen? Are you the catering service or something?"
"No. Not that it's any of your business. I'm just bored. I'm not much for dancing. I don't have anyone to slow dance with. I don't exactly fit in with Rhonda's crowd. So, I guess I'm doing what I do best." Helga shut the water off and wiped her hands on the long white apron that was protecting her silken pink dress. "Okay, fine, you want to help? Fetch me the empty bowl. We'll make another batch."
"You've got it." Arnold smiled, stepping back out the swinging door.
Immediately after he left, Helga reached deep into her dress and pulled out a familiar keepsake, bracing herself against the counter so she wouldn't swoon and fall over. "Oh, Arnold, what fate has brought you to this lowly end? That you should spend the social event of the season in the company of such an unfortunate as I! How I pray that for once, we might have a chance to know one another, one last chance to learn that maybe we aren't so different." As though she were psychic, Helga replaced the locket in its intimate hiding spot against her heart just as Arnold came back through the door, bearing the indeed empty punchbowl. "Bunch of savages in this class." Helga shook her head from side to side, opening the refrigerator to see what she could whip up. "Man, the Princess sure keeps the kitchen stocked."
"It's probably the chef who sees to that. I wonder where he is, anyway?"
"Rhonda gave all the staff the night off. Can't say I blame her. This party is the social event of the season, after all. She doesn't want any witnesses that are on her parents' payroll."
"Makes sense." Arnold nodded.
Helga turned around, removing a bottle of lemon juice from the fridge along with an oversized container of hand made fruit punch. "Let's see, maybe if they have any vanilla ice cream. . ." She muttered.
"Um, won't the lemon juice curdle the ice cream?"
"Oh, right. Ok, no lemon juice then." Helga quickly put the offending bottle back into the fridge. "So now what am I supposed to do? This container of punch is so not going to cut it."
"Water it down and add sugar. That's what my grandma always does."
"I normally prefer a more elegant solution, but beggars can't be choosers." Helga returned yet again to the refrigerator, this time retrieving several bottles of Evian water. "Ok, this ought to cover it. I hope they don't mind our dipping into their secret stash of elitist water."
"You could just get it from the tap."
"Are you stupid or something, Hair Boy? If Rhonda found out I even dared to serve something like that, she'd run me out of here so fast my head would spin! My social standing can't take a snub like that these days."
"That's funny, the Helga I knew never used to care about that kind of stuff."
"Yeah, well, we stopped knowing each other a long time ago."
"Oh come on, Helga, we were never really friends. You never had any interest in me when we were kids."
"That was part of our deal! I did mean things to you, and you ignored them and were nice to me anyway. You were the one who stopped trying!"
"I guess I finally got the message." Arnold shrugged. "Or I just stopped being so stubborn."
"Right." Helga rolled her eyes.
Arnold stepped back and cleared his throat, feeling a bit awkward. Helga obviously felt the same way, because she turned her full attention to the bowl, pouring in the fruit concoction and adding water one bottle at a time, tempered with sugar, trying to make sure it didn't become too obvious a scam.
"There!" Helga allowed herself a smile of satisfaction as she finished her latest masterpiece. "Can I cook or what?"
"I don't know, I've never tasted your cooking. Maybe I should go with what." Arnold chuckled.
"And you wonder why Rhonda broke it off with you?" Helga chided sarcastically, shaking her head back and forth. "You never did know how to compliment a lady."
"I don't claim to have known how." Arnold acknowledged. "You want me to help you carry that out?"
"Help me? No thanks, I think I'll let you carry it all by yourself. If you want to be helpful, you could untie this apron. Sid isn't around to do it for me."
"As you wish, my lady."
Helga groaned. "Just don't go getting any funny ideas, all right?"
"I'll try to restrain myself." Arnold smirked. Helga turned her back to him, and Arnold gently pulled on one string, unknotting the bowed fabric. Helga allowed the apron to drop slightly, catching it in one hand and folding it. The silk that comprised her long pink dress seemed to bounce as it was freed of the restraining protective garment. For the first time, Arnold noticed that the dress was stylish, leaving bare shoulders and an open back. This surprised him, because Helga usually went in for the modest approach when it came to her attire. Or perhaps she hadn't changed so much. Her outfit was rather high cut in the front, certainly designed to leave plenty to the imagination. Still, when Arnold took in Helga's entire presence, an effect that was heightened as she turned around and half-tossed her hair, he couldn't help but smile. "Wow, Helga, you clean up good!" Arnold remarked, genuinely impressed.
"I'm glad you approve."
"No, I'm serious. I never knew you had it in you. This is going to sound kind of silly, but I almost expected you to be wearing that old pink dress you used to favor. You know, the one you used to wear over the white shirt?"
"That would've been quite a feat, considering I haven't fit into it in about seven years."
"Yeah, that would've been pretty silly." Arnold wiped his brow anxiously, realizing he had just said something very childish. "Really, I think this is an improvement."
"Bob would prefer I wear something a little flashier. He's been on a kick for the last month or so. I think he's hoping I'll get married instead of going to college so he won't have to pay for my education. After all, he's still paying for Olga's. Even if she did get by mostly on scholarships."
"Are you serious?"
"I don't know." Helga sighed. "I never know with him." She let out a breath, then her brow furrowed in annoyance. "Why am I telling you this crap anyway?"
"I just have one of those faces, I guess."
"Yeah, if you like football heads." Helga scoffed. "I suppose it doesn't really matter much. This is pretty much it. The old gang is breaking up. What's left of it, anyway."
"A lot of us are still together, Helga. Gerald and I are still friends. You and Phoebe still hang out sometimes, I hear from Gerald. Those two are still an item. Rhonda and I broke up, but we're still friends. And Sid and Stinky and Harold are still the troublemakers. Not that Harold or Stinky could ever hold a candle to Sid's charm with the ladies."
"Ah, you're just sore because he managed to hook Lila for awhile and you never could."
"I gave up on her in junior high." Arnold sighed wistfully.
"And what did it get you? You should've kept at her, you might've had your shot. Instead you let Sid move in."
"Hey, I had Rhonda, don't forget. Maybe you know her, the most sought after girl in our entire class?"
"How nice for you." Helga said coldly, opening a cupboard and withdrawing two glasses.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."
"Whatever. Let's just skip it."
"No really, I shouldn't have put it like that."
"Criminey! Are you trying to piss me off or something! I said to forget it!" Helga roared, her grip tightening around the glasses. With great effort, She set them on the counter, taking several deep breaths. "Maybe I'm the one who should apologize."
"It's okay, you don't have to."
Helga shut her eyes tightly and kept her back to him, not wanting to let him see any tears she was fighting off. Why was it always so difficult to accept simple kindness from him? Taking one last deep breath, she blinked her eyes rapidly to make sure she was presentable before turning around. "Alright then." She removed the scoop from the punchbowl and used it to spoon two full glasses for them. "Why don't you go ahead and put this back out for everyone else?"
"All right. Wait here, I'll be right back, okay?" Arnold pleaded more than asked.
"I don't have anywhere else to be." Helga nodded.
Very carefully, Arnold lifted the bowl and took slow, measured steps back out where the party was in full swing. She held the swinging door open for him as he left. She watched him for several long, eternal seconds before finally turning back to the sanctuary of the kitchen.
OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO
Gerald took in the scope of Rhonda's room again and again as she changed behind a long, folded oriental screen. The room was full of mirrors and several certificates of her accomplishments. The curtains couldn't have been made in this country, the lace was too intricate, something hand made. And the four post bed! It was amazing! Gerald had never seen a bed so large. He wondered how he could ever go back to sleeping on his twin sized mattress after knowing such a palatial bed exists.
Rhonda stepped out from behind the screen in a flowing yellow gown, turning around to give Gerald a full look. "This one's just in from Milan" She grinned. "I've been waiting for a really hot day. I wasn't too sure about the yellow, but I really felt I've done too much red. Maybe it's time for me to shake the scene up a bit.
"Hey, you've always been easy on the eye in my opinion."
"I'll be sure to let Phoebe know." Rhonda chided. "And allow me to say that I'm impressed with your courtship. It's not typical for childhood sweethearts like yourselves to stay together for so long. Does this mean you have some big plans now that high school is over? A diamond, perhaps?"
"I wouldn't take it that far." Gerald held a hand up to stop her. "I mean, being with Phoebe is great, don't get me wrong. But I don't know what the future holds for us. We haven't talked about stuff that far ahead just yet. I don't know if I could even bring it up with her. I mean, Phoebe's got a lot of college stuff going on, not to mention all the other stuff she's involved with, and her family keeps her under a lot of pressure too. It wouldn't be very fair of me to put such a huge expectation on her."
"So do you think you're headed for a breakup?"
"Why, you interested?" Gerald cocked an eyebrow at his host. "Seriously though, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. I couldn't even imagine life without Phoebe. She's really. . .uplifting, I guess. Like when I'm feeling really down, she'll call me or send me something or just come over and. . .well, I remember my father told me that there are countless women in the world, but when you find a good one, you'd better hold onto her."
"Well said." Rhonda replied softly. She sat down in an old wooden desk chair, turning it around so she could rest her arms on the back. "You have to promise never to tell Arnold this, but I sometimes wonder if I'll ever find a good guy again after Arnold."
"There's plenty of fish in the sea, girl. You shouldn't be so concerned about it. I mean, not to put a point on it, but you are rich."
"That's what I worry about. I don't want to end up as some trophy wife. Or go out with some guy who's just looking for a meal ticket. Arnold was never like that."
"He did spend an awful lot of time with you while you two were going out. Sometimes I felt like I hardly saw him anymore." Gerald nodded.
"You know better than I what it's like to be in a relationship. Especially one that is more than casual." Rhonda suggested.
"True that. But he hasn't been himself since you guys ended. It's like. . .I don't know, it doesn't seem like he's hung up on you, more like he's just afraid of getting back in the game. I don't really know what to tell him. When you're as tight as Phoebe and me, we make it look easy."
"Give him some time. He'll come around. You know Arnold, he's always one to look on the bright side." Rhonda affirmed.
"Right. But I still hope that he'll find the right girl for him in a hurry. Wouldn't it be something if he could hook up with someone at this party?
"I couldn't imagine it happening to a better person."
OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO
Helga felt as though she were going to vomit as she quickly removed the small vial from the same pocket she stored her locket in, emptying it into Arnold's waiting glass and stirring the beverage rapidly. She had no doubt that if hell existed, she would have a VIP room. But it was too late to back down now. Everything had already been set into motion. Her check had already cleared with the landlord, she now officially had a place of her own. And Bob's coveted Platinum card was stashed in her car, it had more than enough credit to cover any expenses that might crop up over the next day or two. She even had a dress secured in the trunk of the car. Not the prettiest anyone had ever seen, but it would certainly work well under the conditions she was expecting. Arnold was the last piece of the puzzle, the one she had been waiting on for so many years.
Sighing uneasily to herself, Helga opened the cupboard door underneath the sink, burying the now empty vial under several other pieces of garbage so it wouldn't be detected. "If only there was some other way." Helga whispered. But that, of course, was hopeless thinking. She had figured out years ago that she would never work her way into his heart, even if she started from scratch and presented a completely new and improved Helga. No, any hope of that had been squandered in her youth. Thanks to her foolish actions when she was still a child, she had managed to eradicate any chance that Arnold could look at her as a woman. She would always just be Helga to him. Never potential relationship material.
True to his word, Arnold returned, looking pleased with himself. "I didn't spill a single drop. That's got to be worth something."
"Want me to run home and pinch one of Olga's trophies for you?" Helga chided.
"Ah, we'll skip the formal ceremonies this time."
"Mercifully. So, what exactly are your plans this summer?"
"Mostly getting ready for college. I'm taking off in two weeks. I had thought about staying here until late August and being all sentimental with the rest of the gang, but then I figured we'd all be so busy anyway. Besides, there's tons of stuff to do in L.A. I'm gonna take in the sights, get acquainted with the place, try and make some friends before classes start in the fall. What about you?"
Of course.Helga thought to herself. Why did I think it would be any different? He's leaving me, just like everyone else leaves. Well, no matter bucko. You won't be going anywhere now. You're mine! "Oh, you know, nothing special." Helga responded. I've decided to take a little time off from school, I think I'll start in January. I'm just going to focus on finding a decent job and bringing in some decent money to live in while I'm in college. I figure if I can work for 6 months and mooch off Bob at least until my semester starts, I should end up with enough money to get me through at least a semester. Maybe more if I watch my finances. Anyway, I guess I'll be the one watching everyone else go off."
"I hope it works out for you."
"I'm not worried. Somehow, I know that everything is going to unfold exactly as it should." Helga grinned, raising her glass off the counter and offering the doctored drink to her companion.
"To the future we deserve." Arnold accepted the glass, raising it in a toast.
"Now that's something I can drink to." Helga joined him, lightly clicking her own glass against Arnold's before imbibing.
Arnold joined her in the drink, impressed with the work. For something that had been considerably watered down, it still had quite a bit of flavor.
"Hey, this is pretty good. Looks like my grandma's trick worked just fine."
Helga knocked back the entire glass, setting it down on the counter. "Yeah, it'll sell all right. I tell you Arnold, it's tough work to be a caterer."
"I didn't know this was your day job." Arnold grinned, polishing off his glass.
"It isn't. I'm just not much good at parties."
"You seem to be doing alright."
"I get by." Helga acknowledged.
"So what was it like-" Without warning, Arnold descended into a coughing fit, his glass falling out of his hands and breaking into pieces on the floor. Helga furrowed her brow, hoping that the worst would pass quickly. She feigned ignorance for the meantime. "Arnold! Are you all right! What's happening!" The coughing spasm continued, and Arnold could feel his vision beginning to blur. He staggered towards Helga, looking for support. Helga watched him carefully noting the way his eyes had trouble focusing. The drug was working, just as predicted. Helga moved closer to her love, wrapping an arm around him and tilting his head up to her own. "Hush now, sweet prince. How I wish it didn't have to be this way. Please baby, don't fight it. Just take the ride."
"Helga? What. . .have you. . .done. . .to me?" Arnold managed to choke out between coughs.
"Don't struggle, it only makes things worse."
"Why?" Arnold managed to choke out as he unwillingly fell against Helga, who instantly embraced him.
"Because you forgot about me so easily. Surely you remember that little girl who kissed you on that cold, windy night eight years ago. The night we stopped the bulldozers. But you did. You forgot about me, you sent me on my way and you never looked back. But I have. Every day of my long, lonely life I've looked back at you. Watching you give your heart to women who could never treasure it as I would. Watching you parade around with Princess Rhonda Lloyd while I worked on the school paper. Watching you trade away my feelings, the purity of my own emotions, for a love so average and mundane. I have loved you from afar all the days of my life, praying for you to remember me. To look at me. I never cared what anyone else thought, not for a moment. The entire world can judge me as an abomination if you could look upon me and see something beautiful. But you never have. And now you think you're going to just walk out of my life and barely say goodbye? No, Arnold. I'm afraid I'm just not willing to let go of you yet. You will NOT rob me of my birthright, my very heart and soul! I will not allow it! This time, things are going to be different. I've been falling for you my entire life." Helga cradled him as she had always imagined, the most precious thing in the world, tousling his hair, feeling the consistency, the inexplicable rapture that came from being so close to her heart's only desire. "This time, you're going to fall for me."
"You're. . .insane. . ." Arnold whimpered, sliding downward, trying desperately to stop himself but unable to even struggle. His body was like Jello. Helga lowered herself with him, his head half propped against her chest.
"Am I?" Helga blinked, truly considering Arnold's accusation, frightened at the implications. "I've often suspected the same thing. Hush now, just breathe deep and let the medicine do its work." She kissed him longingly, as though marking her territory. "There now. That wasn't so terrible, was it?" Helga asked. Arnold's head slowly lolled to the side and he was gone. Completely unconscious, and at her mercy.
Helga gently laid Arnold's head in her lap as he passed out, savoring the feel of his warmth against her. It took some effort to drag herself away, but she knew there was one more necessary step to render the deception complete. Carefully, she extracted herself from Arnold's form and allowed his head to rest on the floor. Helga drew herself to a standing position, purposely ruffling her dress to give her a more distraught look. Then, breathing deeply, she summed up one of the loudest, most girlish screams she had let out in a very long time. It was enough to make the one intact glass fracture. Several people came running as they saw what had happened. Sid arrived first, never one to pass up a damsel in distress. His two "henchmen" followed, and other guests began to crowd around the door.
Sid shook Helga to bring her back to reality, just as Rhonda entered the room with Gerald in tow. "What happened in here?" Rhonda demanded. "You're disturbing the guests."
"It's Arnold." Sid gestured. "Helga was screaming. What happened, Helga?"
"I-I dunno! Arnold and I were just making punch, we set it out there long ago. He came back in and we were talking about this summer, and he just collapsed on the floor like a ton of bricks. I thought he was having a heart attack or an aneurism or something, and I just freaked out!"
"He's breathing." Sid confirmed, dabbing his index finger in his mouth and holding it over Arnold's lips.
"This doesn't make any sense." Stinky drawled. "Arnold's always been healthy as a horse."
"Yeah, and he could eat a lot too!" Harold offered.
"Somebody do something!" Rhonda insisted
Gerald pushed through the crowd. "Maybe he's just passed out." Gerald did his best to wake his friend, opening his eyes, slapping his face a little, but nothing stirred the young man. "Okay, this isn't funny. Somebody's got to call an ambulance."
"No." Helga said quietly. "I'll take him, no reason to ruin the whole party."
"If it's all the same , I'd rather go with you." Gerald persisted.
"For what? You'll just slow me down! Besides, they're just going to ask a bunch of questions you can't answer. I was the only one with him when this happened. Look, it's no big deal. I'll take him down, fill out their tedious little forms, let them interview me, and keep you posted when they have a diagnosis. If it's anything serious, I'll phone you right away."
"That's not the point. He's my best friend."
"I know. But think of it from this point. What would Arnold want? You know there's nothing you can do for him. If you all cancel the party, it'll just make him feel bad when he wakes up. And what about Phoebe? She's been waiting for this party for like a month, are you going to bail on MY best friend?"
"She has a point." Rhonda sighed. "Okay, Helga, I don't know why, but I'm going to trust your better judgment on this one. You take him. And don't make any stops on the way!"
"Done."
"And you'd better call the second you know anything, because if I haven't heard from you in an hour, I swear I'm coming down there myself, party be damned."
"I'll call you as soon as they admit him." Helga nodded.
"Alright then. Gerald, you notify everyone else. Maybe you could tell us some amusing anecdotes about Arnold while we wait for the good news. I know I have a few."
"Fine. But I'm going down there once Phoebe shows up, fair warning." Gerald sighed.
Helga bent down and gingerly lifted Arnold off the ground, wrapping one hand around his back and the other underneath his knees. "Um, can somebody get the door?"
There was a race to move aside as Helga moved forward, kicking the swinging door with one foot and dodging dancing couples who hadn't been impressed with her scream. She stepped through the front door and down the steps, walking down the sidewalk until she reached her car. She carefully propped Arnold into the passenger seat and buckled him in, then moved to the driver's side and got in herself. After fishing the keys out of her the glove compartment, Helga started the car and gunned out of the parking space, determined to get out of Dodge before she was followed by any more of Arnold's clingy friends. She had come entirely too close to give up now.
It would seem, however, that one such person had not. Steadily growing louder from the seat behind her was a sound that had haunted her footsteps since before she could remember. In abject disbelief, Helga swung her rear view mirror to the right, revealing the reflection of Brainy in all his asthmatic glory.
Helga slammed the brakes, nearly sending her car into a spin she pulled to the side of the road, muttering a stream of obscenities. "Brainy! What are you doing here!" Helga shouted, on the verge of losing what was left of her sanity.
Brainy took his time in answering, as was his wont. An endless parade of wheezing breaths was the only response she got, finally followed at length by "Um. . .I dunno. I just-"
"Forget it! I've changed my mind! I don't care just get out!" Helga grabbed the poor boy by the scruff of the neck and pulled him out of the back seat. She pushed him out of her way, got back into the car, and was off again before Brainy could have a chance to get back in. "It's going to be a hard night." Helga groaned as she turned towards the interstate, anxious to put as much distance between herself and Hillwood before anyone realized Arnold had never made it to the hospital. She came to a stoplight half a mile from the onramp and finally breathed a sigh of relief. "Next stop, Vegas!"
"So long, suckers!" Curly called from the seat behind Arnold, looking very expectant.
"Criminey, why is every freak in the class hiding out in my car!"
"I'm not a freak, I'm just eccentric." Curly defended himself. "Now you owe me big time for that little treat that Arnold here seemed to enjoy so much."
"Fine." Helga reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a gold toned piece of plastic. "Miriam's gold card. It's only got a thousand dollars left on it so don't go spending it all at once. On second thought, maybe you'd better, Bob's gonna miss this stuff come the morning."
"Sure thing, hot stuff."
"Curly, I am not, nor will I ever be, your 'hot stuff.' This romantic getaway only has room for two."
"So ditch the dead weight and let's you and me light up the strip, darlin'." Curly insisted.
Helga had had enough. Holding nothing back, she got out of the car, opened the back door, picked Curly up, and physically heaved him into some bushes lining the property of a municipal building. "So what time should I pick you up?" Curly's voice carried even as Helga left him behind and headed for the onramp and glorious freedom.
"Boys are so stupid." Helga quipped. "Present company excluded, of course." Unfortunately, Arnold couldn't respond. "You'll understand when you're older." Helga assured him. The night kept coming and Helga drove into it with no fear.
OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO
"Is that really how it happened?" Rhonda asked, swirling the wine in her glass to activate it a little before taking a sip.
"The parts I can remember. I don't remember being drugged at all, I'm just paraphrasing from what Helga told me about it much later." Arnold replied, leaning back against a cushion.
"You have to give her credit. Her love certainly isn't average. It's crazy. But there's something to be said for mad love."
"The time Helga and I spent together, I mean, after I stopped resisting her and decided to give her a chance. . .I'm inclined to agree she was right. Like when she was holding me, I couldn't remember anything bad in my life. She has the ability to take away pain. Almost like an angel. And you don't need to tell me how absurd that sounds. But maybe that's also part of our problem. Helga and I have come to know and understand each other too well. We know all the right places to stroke each other, but we also know where to stab. And right now, we're both bleeding. I thought we were better than this."
"You have to stop blaming yourself, Arnold. I mean, just because you love someone doesn't mean you can live with them. The girl has a lot of baggage. But it doesn't mean you'll never see her again. Not if she really loves you the way you claim she does."
"I just don't know, Rhonda. Helga can be really, really stubborn."
"Somehow, Arnold, I think that everything will unfold as it should. In my experience, the universe always balances itself out. If you're meant to be with her, you will be."
"I know. But I still feel that I failed her. That I couldn't save her."
"Maybe she didn't want to be saved."
"Maybe that decision wasn't entirely hers to make!" Arnold yelled, feeling angry. He stood up and walked away from Rhonda, already frustrated that he was taking his own shortcomings out on her.
Miss Lloyd, however, would have none of it. She followed him, coming up behind his quivering form and resting her hands on his shoulders. "It's okay." She whispered in his left ear, her arms tenderly wrapping around his neck. "It will be okay, I promise." It was a lie, Rhonda knew. Broken hearts were never easily mended, and even then they were still fragile at best, a sad fact Rhonda was still learning in her own life. Some things money just couldn't make right, but she kept pretending anyway. She was Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, after all, and she had it made.
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Author's Notes
Yeah, I know, this chapter was long. And if it felt on the long side to you, think of how much work it took just writing it. I don't really know how I managed to cover this thing in a week. But looking back, I've done longer stuff. The last chapter to The Sweet Hereafter was far longer than this, and I did it in a week. And I wrote the entirety of Say You Will (the original version) in a span of about 30 hours. Maybe I just turn in HA stuff better under pressure.
The length of this chapter can largely be contributed to my wanting to get the story underway. Exposition is important but also stands in the way of real development. This chapter pretty much got all the background stuff out of the way. The writing has definitely been much harder for me. I find myself continuing to shy away from Helga because I have this deep-rooted fear that I'll write The Sweet Hereafter all over again where she is concerned, and that's really not my goal. I'm hoping that fear will dissolve as I'm putting her into a much different situation than I did in TSH. However, I do know that this shift has made my writing somewhat weaker. I don't think that it's bad, just that it lacks some of the punch I was able to deliver with TSH, because for the time being, I'm keeping things in the third person. I expect to do some first person stuff for both Arnold and Helga at different points in the story. One thing I'm sure that anyone who has read my previous HA work can notice is that this story is much more Arnold-centric. I feel it's better for me as an author to work with his character more. Even my next story in the TSH cycle, Ceremony Of Innocence, will focus on Arnold's end of the situation. This is me trying to be the best author I can to all of you, so I hope you'll bear with me as I try new things. Rest assured that the storyline for Instant Gratification has not changed at all.
People are still discovering The Sweet Hereafter, I've noticed, and it brings me a lot of joy to know that that story isn't dead just because I finished it. I hope that it continues to have a fairly successful afterlife. One complaint that I've seen cropping up of late, though, is that people all of a sudden are saying that they don't like the ending of TSH. I'm not really sure why this is, I'm guessing that perhaps they thought I was building to a sweet, happy ending? I have no clue where anyone would get that idea from. In sooth, the ending I finally stuck to was the fourth one I came up with. The original was something of a happy ending, where Arnold and Helga are eating ice cream together and not really saying anything. I nixed it because I just thought it was too weak for all the writing I went through. The framework of the idea, however, did reappear in Say You Will. The second ending was more of a tragedy, where Arnold and Helga briefly become an item, and then Helga breaks up with him because she knows she will only bring Arnold down to her level and ruin what he is. Again, I kicked this one out because I felt there were too many connotations to it, and that people would really hate it. The third ending had a Cinderella-like quality to it, where Helga returns to her usual behavior patterns when the clock strikes midnight. This one called for the two of them to be talking on Arnold's fire escape. I squashed this one because I felt it was a little to fantastic, and it accomplished nothing. At that point, I had to stop and do some major thinking. I went back to all the notes I had taken on Helga's character, really explored who she is as a person. And thus, I refer to the ending that was published as the Helga ending. It's exactly what I felt she would do. I gave her the pieces, but left it up to her to assemble her puzzle, to get her shit together. But I just didn't believe in a happy ending where Helga was concerned, I felt it was contrary to the spirit of her character. So instead, I gave her the formula to make her own happy ending.
I'd like to thank everyone here who read that story back in the day and helped keep me going. There was an era of about two weeks where I was hardly sleeping. I was cramming in an obscene amount of episodes every night in order to build a more perfect fanfic. I think there's only 5 episodes of the series I haven't seen yet, and only three of them have strategic importance. The episodes in question being Arnold's Christmas, Married, and The Journal. Donations are welcome, really!
I'm being long-winded, so I might as well rant a little about the franchise. Everyone else out there has their own opinion, I'm sure, and I hate to find fault with Craig Bartlett and the many other talented individuals responsible for the cartoon. But I'm going to register one complaint, anyway, because it effects me as a fanfic author. I think it was a big mistake to do have Helga make her confession to Arnold in the movie. I know, I know, a lot of people must find that idea blasphemous, but it's just my opinion. When you have a major plot point that's been building since the show's inception, the truth of the matter is that you only get one shot at it. And it's my opinion that the way it happened just wasn't the way it should have been. The whole sequence feels shoehorned into the movie. My point is that I honestly don't believe that this was the way Craig Bartlett wanted it to be, but he compromised on the grounds that it was better to have this than nothing at all. So be it. But unless he ever deigns to tell me otherwise (which I very seriously doubt will happen since I have no connections to the industry), that's going to be my belief. Nevertheless, I follow the canon. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean I'm free to ignore it. It's all part of being a chained God. Wow, did this paragraph sound as pretentious as I think? I'm still going to publish it anyway, what does that say about me?
Did you miss Ginger this chapter? I told you she wouldn't be here every time. I really just couldn't find any room for her, and I don't want her to be a crutch. I expect she'll probably be back in Chapter 5. Maybe next chapter, but I suspect I'll have too much going on again. Some of you won't really miss her anyway, so I guess it's no big deal. But I feel that she really helps my writing and shakes things up a bit.
Okay, anything else I missed? I think that I've gone over far more than I'm entitled to discuss in Author's Notes now. If you couldn't tell, feedback on this chapter is very important to me, so I hope you'll leave some in the manner of your choosing. Reviews are handy, but you'll find my e-mail and AIM info below. Have yourselves a great week, I'll see you back here in seven! And as always, send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:
Lord Malachite
06/27/05
5:43AM, EST
E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com
AIM: Asukaphile26