Diamond City Contra

A Wario and Waluigi Story

Gustauve Drakenhime III

Author's Notes: Hello again! I'd like to give a few announcements and excuses before I proceed with the story. First off; I would like to say that I am sorry for the delay – my men and I just now got out of a recent hot-zone in Afghanistan, and many of us were slightly wounded. Secondly; my Gherwestien18 – TD/BSR just recently 'broke down' – one of the air-compression chambers gave way and now I have no weapon… Though on the plus side, while I work on it, I can also devote more time to my hobby; creative writing. Finally, I would like to thank a Mr. Cody Harrison for his critical review that he sent me via e-mail; thanks to him, I corrected numerous issues in the grammar and spelling of my previous two chapters.

And so, without further delay, I present for your reading pleasure – Diamond City Contra

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Chapter Three: The Chase

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… The loud, almost boastful roar of the monstrous engine was the only sound that could be heard as the two brothers sped

down the freeway with reckless abandon. Wario had been trying to call his girlfriend, Mona, for the past several minutes, but

to no avail. "Damnit!" cried Wario, "What, what is it?" asked his brother, a lit cigarette held loosely in his mouth. "Her cell-

phone ain't pickin' up – she never misses a call!" Though Wario kept a rough exterior to his voice, Waluigi could tell that he

was worried – after all, besides him, Mona was the only other person that truly cared for Wario. "Hey, listen to me," he said,

"don't worry, she's fine; she's probably doing something right now, okay?" Though not entirely convinced with his own

words, it appeared that his reassurances truly did make his older brother feel better. "Ya know what?" replied Wario, "You're

right!" "Of course I'm right – I'm the smart one, after all!" With a laugh, the two of them continued down the freeway at a

break-neck pace. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Wario announced, "Hello; hey, Walu," "Eh?" replied his brother,

"don't look now, but I think we're bein' followed…" At this, Waluigi checked his rear-view mirror – sure enough, they were

being followed by several men on motorcycles; many of them dressed in matching outfits. "Wow," he exclaimed, "I didn't

think they would even bother to try 'n follow us!" With a laugh, Wario said, "Well, whatever they think they're gonna do, I

got news for 'em!" as he said this, he quickly brandished his baseball bat, looking it over once or twice while grinning like a

mad-man. Standing up and turning to their pursuers, he yelled, "Come on, ya bastards; I'll take you all on – every stinkin'

lousy one o-" his taunting was interrupted by the sound of a rifle going off. "Holy shit!" cried Wario, as he dove back down to

his seat, visibly shaken, "Walu, I think those guys are serious!" "What was your first clue, dumbass?" snapped his brother.

Thinking quickly, Waluigi tried to come up with a plan to get them out of their current predicament. 'Okay,' he thought, 'we're

on a six lane freeway, and as far as I can tell, there are eight of those morons-' His analyzing was momentarily interrupted by

the sound of automatic weapons fire. 'Damnit, I can't think like this!' "Wario," he cried, "take the wheel for me, I can't think

and concentrate on the damned road at the same time!" With a grunt Wario began to get out of his seat, ducking down

momentarily as another round of firing commenced. Quickly changing sides, Wario kept up speed while Waluigi sat low and

thought. 'Alright,' he continued, 'this is a lot better. Now, where was I?' more gunfire soon erupted, 'Oh yeah, that's right! Okay,

there are eight of them, and they all have firearms of some sort or another… what do we have?' Quickly pondering over what sort

of supplies, if any, they had that could deal with the problem, it suddenly struck him! 'Of course, my bombs; oh, why didn't I

think of this earlier?!' Immediately forming a plan, Waluigi turned to his older brother and said, "Wario, I've got an idea that I

think might help us deal with these idiots!" "About damn time," exclaimed Wario, "tell me what I gotta do." Pulling out a

street map of Diamond City, Waluigi asked, "What's the name of this freeway?" "Uh," replied Wario, "I think it's called

'Hubbard's Pass', or somethin' like that…" Quickly locating 'Hubbard's Pass' on the map, Waluigi said, "Okay, in a couple of

minutes, I think we're gonna come up on an exit; number three, I think." Looking up at his brother he said, "I need you to

turn off at this exit." Giving a nod of confirmation, Wario kept an eye out for exit number three, all the while trying to keep as

much distance between the two of them and their pursuers as he possibly could. Sure enough, within a few minutes he

sighted the exit and headed straight for it! "Okay," exclaimed his brother, "when you get off of this exit, you need to turn left

and keep going until you see a suburb called 'Cutter's Mill'." Turning left off of the exit, Wario noted that their pursuers were

seemingly getting closer! "Uh oh…" he exclaimed. "What," cried his brother, "what do you mean, 'Uh oh'?!" Quickly looking

behind them, Waluigi soon realized what his brother meant, and yelled, "Oh shit, Wario, pick up the pace, will ya!" "I'm

tryin'," shouted Wario, "but she ain't pickin' up speed!" At this, Waluigi began to have a panic attack! "Walu," cried his

brother, "Walu, listen to me, snap out of it – here, take this." Handing him another cigarette, Waluigi hurriedly took it and,

pulling out his lighter, quickly lit it. As he took a drag from the cancer stick, he began to calm down – enough so to finally

begin finishing up the last stages of his plan. As his bother thought, Wario continued to keep an eye out for their

destination, all the while looking back every now and then to check on their pursuers. Occasionally he'd jump at the sound of

a shot ringing out, praying every time that he wouldn't get hit. When at last they reached the tiny suburb of Cutter's Mill,

Waluigi yelled, "Look for an alleyway, or a single lane road and drive down it!" "Whaa?!" exclaimed the older of the two,

"Just do it, okay; I've got a plan." With that said, he opened the trunk on the back of the side car – it opened much like the

way a laundry chute door opens. Rummaging through one the bags, he finally pulled out what he was looking for – a Bob-

omb! Upon seeing what his little brother held in his hands, Wario couldn't help but laugh out, "Oh, I see now, okay, let's

make this work!" With a grin of his own, Waluigi began to wind up the explosive; enough to ensure that, not only would it

vaporize the men that were chasing them, but anything else within a twenty meter radius! Quickly taking his cigarette out of

his mouth, he used it to light the sensitive fuse. The tell-tale hissing sound was all he needed to hear to know that the Bob-

omb was primed and ready. Seconds later, as Wario turned into an alley way, Waluigi tossed it behind him, shouting, "Five –

Four – Three – Two – One – Fire in the hole!" The enormous 'boom' that followed gave testament to his uncanny accuracy.

Staring at one another, the two brothers simultaneously shouted out in joyous laughter at how well their plan actually

worked! "I gotta hand it to ya, bro," laughed Wario, "you sure know end things with a bang!" At this, they both let loose

another chorus of raucous laughter. Their celebration was cut short, however, when they both heard a high-pitched scream,

followed by a cry of "Please, somebody help me!" Quickly grabbing his crowbar, Waluigi exclaimed, "Come, we have to help

whoever that is!" "Why should we?" demanded Wario. "Because, because – oh, I don't know -" cried the taller of the two, "-

because it's the right thing to do?" "Sigh, fine," replied Wario. Grabbing his baseball bat, he then mumbled, "I can't believe I

gave in to that whole, 'it's the right thing to do' bullshit…" Heading off towards the direction of the shouts, the two brothers

came upon a gruesome sight – the crumpled bodies of several beings lay strewn across the street! "Help, oh God, please

help me!" came the cry again. Pointing towards a small house with its front door obviously thrown off of its hinges, Waluigi

exclaimed, "It's coming from in there." Running towards the house as fast as their legs could carry them, the two entered

and quickly began searching for the owner of the voice; while Wario checked the downstairs portion of the house, his

brother checked the second floor. Searching through every room he could find, Waluigi finally found their target! Inside what

appeared to be a bedroom, he found a female Toad with a tattered pink dress and long pigtails… he also found the cause of

her distress; a man, wearing a uniform with an insignia belonging to one of Diamond City's most notorious gangs,

brandishing a hunting knife. "You stay the hell away from me, do you hear!" she screamed. With a lecherous grin, her

assailant replied, "Come on, cutie, I just wanna have some fun with ya, is that too much to ask?" With a shout Waluigi leapt

at the man from behind crowbar raised – the would-be rapist only had enough time to exclaim, "Wha-?" before the weapon

came down upon him. The first blow definitely did some damage, instantly breaking the man's clavicle with a resounding

snap! Trying to defend himself, the man lashed out with his knife, only to be slammed across the face – sending him flying

into the wall. Still yelling, Waluigi continued to beat upon the now heavily dazed man, repeatedly hitting him over the head

until finally he stopped moving. Taking deep, ragged breathes; Waluigi fell backwards out of exhaustion and nausea, as

Wario ran into the room crying, "Waluigi, what's goin' on, what happened?!" Turning to the body of the man, he immediately

ran back out of the room to vomit. Slightly shaken, the Toad girl ran towards Waluigi, latching on to his torso in a desperate

hug! "Augh, what the hell – get offa' me!" he cried, trying to pull the girl off. "Oh thank you, thank you," she cried –

apparently she had not heard him; "thank you so much for saving me from that awful man, I don't know what I would've

done if you hadn't've come when you –" looking up, she suddenly cried out, "Waluigi?!" "Eh?" he replied. "Oh, it is you!" she

exclaimed, hugging him firmer. "Umm, do I know you?" he asked. "Don't cha remember who I am?" she asked, and then

exclaimed, "It's me, Toadette!" Recognition finally dawned on him at the mention of her name, "Toadette?" he exclaimed,

"Wow, hey, yah, I remember you, you're Toad's sister – yah, you were there at all of those parties and races!" "You do

remember me!" Toadette gushed – she then proceeded to help him get up. Wario then came back into the room, this time

making an effort to avoid looking at the corpse, and said, "Hey Walu, you okay?" looking down at Toadette, he asked,

"Who's she?" "Hey Wario, long time, no see!" said Toadette. Lifting an eyebrow towards his little brother, Waluigi replied,

"It's Toadette, you know – Toad's sister?" Staring hard at her, he suddenly remembered who she was - "Oh, hey – what's

up." "You remember me too!" she cried. "Yeah," said Wario, "anyways, it was nice seein' ya an' all, but we really gotta be

goin and –" "Oh," gasped Toadette, "please, let me come with you – it's not safe around here anymore – you guys are the

only ones in town that I really know…" she then gave them her best 'kitten face'. "No." came Wario's reply; the 'kitten face'

had never worked on him before, so why should it now? Sadly, the same could not be said for Waluigi. Trying hard to look

anywhere but at her face, but failing miserably, his resolve soon began to crumble; and Wario could tell. "Oh, come on,

Walu," he shouted, "don't tell me you're taking her side!" "But, Wario" replied the younger of the two, "look at her, she's got

nowhere to go, this place obviously isn't safe anymore – and, like she said, we're the only people in Diamond City that she

knows…" Grumbling to himself, Wario gave out an exasperated, "Fine!" turned around and headed out the entryway and

down the stairs. Smiling in glee, Toadette hopped onto Waluigi's shoulders crying, "Forward to adventure!" Stopping in mid-

stride he growled, "Okay, if you ever say that again, we will ditch your happy ass at the next gas station we find." "Sorry,

sorry about that." She said, blushing. And with that the two of them made their way down the stairs and out the door.

When they finally reached the bike, Wario was already waiting with a look on his face that instantly told Waluigi that he

would be driving from now on. With a sigh, Waluigi got into the side car, with Toadette sitting comfortably in his lap, as the

engine came to life and they raced off to their original destination…

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Thus ends the Third Chapter. Once again, any and all forms of criticism are welcomed whole-heartedly. Also, if you are enjoying the story thus far, please let me know. May the blessings of the Lord follow you wherever you may go.