Chapter 3

A Painful Reality

To Lauren and Paris, for inspiration of some quotes in here. To my readers for putting up with me!

Previously, on Summer Dreams,

Thank goodness for Remus Lupin.

"Lily," two voices call out.

"Lauren! Alice," I cry.

At five pm, I arrived at the Ranson's house via Apparition and set my things down in Lauren's bedroom, much to her house elves dismay.

"Hi, Leslie! Hello Megan," I greet to Lauren's sisters as I pass by their room.

"Hullo Lily," they call back.

The two younger girls smile at me as I pass by and return to gossiping and braiding each others hair.

"Do you guys want to head over to Hyde Park," Lauren asks.

We both nod.

"Hey mum, dad? Alice, Lily, and I are going to head over to Hyde Park."

"Alright, dear, make sure you three have your wands with you," Jane, Lauren's mum, calls out.

"Be back before midnight," Daniel, Lauren's dad, warns.

"Alright," we promise, walking out the door.

The walk to Hyde Park is relatively short

"The Grand Entrance to the park is beautiful," I whisper to myself.

"Back in the 1800's, the builders constructed three huge carriage entrance archways, two foot entrances, and a lodge," I overhear a tour guide say to their group.

The Entrance is quite the sight to see.

"So, Lily, what is going on between you and Remus," Alice casually asks.

"Wait, what," Lauren asks, staring at me.

"Yeah, I saw them at my uncle's ice cream shoppe the other day," Alice teases. "He even paid for her ice cream," she adds.

"Oh my Merlin, Lily," Lauren practically shrieks "This is huge. Does James know?"

I take a deep breath. "Well, seeing how Remus and I ran into him and Cara on our way out, I think it's safe to say that he knows."

"So you aren't denying anything between you and Remus," Alice questions.

"Oh my, what did he say," Lauren asks.

I ignore Alice's question and turn to Lauren. "Well, he just greeted us, er well, Remus, he kind of mumbled my name."

"So he's okay with his best mate dating the girl he loves?"

"Guys, James obviously does not love me still. He's made that quite apparent. And I told you, Alice, Remus and I are not dating. We're just friends."

Alice raises an eyebrow at me. Lauren looks at me doubtful.

"Plus, he muttered something about James murdering him if he ever thought about taking me on a date or fancying me."

"That's true," Lauren says. "Those four are close. Sirius says basically if James says something, it is law."

"Plus, if Remus is as good of a friend to me as he is to James, he wouldn't think about seeing me as anything other than good friends," I justify.

"Okay, new topic," Alice announces, leaving me relieved.

"The Beatles," we all exclaim, sitting down in the grass.

As I sit down, I notice a group of boys, around our age, kicking around a football.

"Favourite Beatle," Alice asks.

"John," I answer immediately.

"I love Paul," Lauren says.

"You both are crazy! Ringo is obviously the best," Alice defends.

We both roll our eyes and I turn to both of them.

"What would you do if we ever met them?"

"I would ask for their autographs, get pictures with them, and tell them how much I love them and their music," Alice states.

"I would probably act as I always do: civil," Lauren says.

Alice and I shoot her a dubious look.

"Okay, I would probably hyperventilate and pass out. But you know, that's okay because then Paul would have to give me CPR and I would be totally okay with that," Lauren admits, the words pouring out of her.

"Now that is the Lauren I know," I crack.

Alice cackles while Lauren blushes a bit.

"I hate you two. Both of you are rotten. I need new mates," she teases.

"Oh, she hates us, Lily," Alice plays.

"Oh no, whatever shall we do," I giggle.

"Oh shut up you two. I couldn't get rid of you if I tried," she admits.

I lay on my back. "So Lauren, have you seen Sirius?"

She nods. "Actually, I have. He insisted I take him to his first film. We did that the day after re got back."

"Really? Which film," Alice asks.

"We went to see Star Wars. It was good. He didn't want to snog! He was too entranced with the damned film. And then, he wanted to see it again two days later."

"And how was it the second time," I ask.

"He fell asleep," she says with a dramatic sigh. "I mean, it's one thing to fall asleep in the cinema, but he snores!"

Alice and I burst into laughter.

"I mean, you just don't sleep at the cinema and snore. It's just a rule of thumb!"

As the sun sets, all three of us lay on our backs to watch it.

It is peaceful, watching the colours blend together and sitting there with my two best friends.

Or it was. Until my leg was brutally attacked by a football.

I sit straight up and look around. One of the boys from that group was heading over to where we were.

I stand up to get a better look at this guy. His legs are toned and his hair is cut short, but still long enough to be a bit messy.

"Sorry about that," he apologizes, his hazel eyes looking at me. "Are you okay?" He runs his hands through his black hair.

I look at him and I'm immediately reminded of James. The hair and the mannerisms and the eye. This is not happening to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. No damage done," I assure him. "At most, I'll have a bruise."

He gets a look of concern on his face. "Where did it hit you?"

"My leg, but I'm fine," I promise.

"Well, I'm sorry about any pain my mates have caused you. I guess they were trying to get you and your mates to notice us," he says, smiling.

I blush a bit. "Oh."

"I'm Alex Griffith. My family lives near here."

"Lily Evans," I say, not really sure of what I'm doing. "I'm here with my friends. This is Lauren and Alice. Lauren lives near here as well."

"Hullo, Lauren, good to see you again. Lily, do you visit often?"

"Sometimes," I reply.

"Alex! Stop flirting with the bird and get back here," one of his mates calls.

"Well, Lily Evans, I hope to see you again," Alex says. "Nice to meet you Alice. Lauren, I'll see you around," he calls running off.

I whirl around to her.

"He lives in my neighborhood," she states simply. "What's wrong?"

"He has a striking resemblance to a certain James Potter."

"Lily, don't think of it. Just let that go. He's obviously into you," Alice points out.

I lie back down on the blanket and sigh.

"What do you think our lives will be like? After Hogwarts, I mean. Do you think there will be a war?"

"We're already in a war. Muggle-borns like me are being killed every day," I say sadly.

"Enough of the talk about the war.," Lauren says. "It's quite obvious what will happen! We're all going to live here in London with our respective Beatle."

I giggle. "And we're going to eat macaroons like it is our job and not gain a pound!"

Alice looks at us. "And everyone will wallow in jealousy. And do you know why?"

"Because we're too faboo for them," Lauren interrupts

"And we'll have annual parties that anyone who is anybody will attend."

"Unless they're on the bad list!"

"This is most of the people in our year! And death eaters."

"And we'll be friends with 'pabulous' people."

"And we'll have delicious food cooked for us by a personal chef!"

"But where will we live," I ask.

Alice shrugs her shoulders.

Lauren gets a huge smile one her face. "How about a flat?"

"I smile back. "How about a grand penthouse!"

Alice grins. "Even better!"

"It shall have 4 bedrooms! One for each of us and John, Paul, and Ringo. And then one of George and whoever he ends up marrying!"

"We will not be snobby decorators!"

"We need a parlour too."

"Yes!" Lauren cries. "And we need a piano!"

We giggle at our preposterous plans, silently hoping that one day, they'll come true.

We walk back to the Ranson's house around eleven forty-five and make our way up to Lauren's room. The moon makes it way up to the top of the sky

Lauren and Alice chat animatedly about something, while my mind when back to Alex and his striking resemblance and then about the break up. Who dear. What did I do? What am I doing?

"Lily, are you okay," Alice asks, concerned.

Lauren looks worried too. "Lily, is this about Alex?"

I nod. "Partially." I blink back a few tears and inhale.

"Lily?"

"Lily, please talk to us. Merlin knows we've been through so much boy drama together."

I rummage through my bag and handed them James' letter.

I watch their faces turn from to confusion to anger as they read the letter together.

"Lily, I'm so sorry," Lauren says hugging me. Alice walks over and joins us.

I sniffle, pulling apart. "You know, ever since we broke up, I have been devastated. I've tried to get over it, and not think about it, but it's bloody impossible with everyone all around me!

"Why, Alice asks cautiously.

"You should see it," I spit. "Everyone pities me there. Hell, even Tuney tried comforting me. And when I went out with Remus, I could tell even he feels bad for me." I l take another deep breath. "I just want to be over it."

"We all hate seeing you this hurt," Lauren says.

"I just don't know why she's so hell bent on James and I not being mates!"

Lauren hugs me tightly. "Tell me what on your mind.

I shake my head. "I don't… I don't know."

"Can I tell you something," Lauren asks. Without waiting for an answer, she continues. "I'm not going to tell you that he still loves you. Because we have no way of knowing that. Sirius won't even tell me."

"Really," Alice and I both ask.

She nods. "But, you need to hear this from me. The pain, as you probably realise, is even worse when you love him, and you know he cares for you too, but she won't let him talk to you. It's better to live in the happy illusion of forbidden love or that he'll come back to you and this is all a joke, rather than be sent spiraling down back into the painful reality that he's with her, and if he loved you, he wouldn't be."

I eventually drift off to dream land with tears in my eyes and James in my mind.

I'm sprinting down a set of stairs. As I get closer to what I recognise as the Great Hall, I slow myself down. My heart is starting to beat faster. James hears my footsteps and turns his head to get a good look at me. When I finally stop right in front of him, I am breathless. My lack of breath isn't due to my sprint, but because of James. His jeans are a bit distressed, and he is wearing a white button up oxford shirt underneath a worn, soft looking cotton burgundy jumper. And his hair, I just want to run my fingers through it and mess it up even more than it is.

We head into Madam Puddifoot's. A drink gets poured on him. We get out of there as quick as we can. A snowball fight takes place. As one hits me, the scene changes.

We're inside the Gryffindor Common Room, in front of the fireplace. We discuss friends, home life, etc. He admits he took Muggle Studies just so he could know how I live. Then, he has me pinned on the floor. The scene changes once more.

It's dark outside, and we're in the court yard, making snow angels. James gets angry. The scene changes.

We're in the kitchens and I have whipped cream on my nose. He takes his finger and wipes it off, and licks it off of his finger. Before my eyes, the scene changes.

I find myself first in my hotel room with James. Then his bedroom after meeting his parents. We exchange gifts. I open mine up slowly; a snow globe, with two figurines in it playing in the snow. A perfect replica of both James and me. The inscription on the wood base of the globe reads:James and Lily, Christmas '76. I shake the snow globe and everything around me changes.

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

He kisses the tip of my nose. The scene changes.

James leads me into the Room of Requirement. An aroma of sauce hits me immediately. In front of me sits a small, circular dining table, with a white table cloth and two dining chairs with Gryffindor colors on the cushions. A romantic meal for two. We dance. There's a kiss.

There is the Mirror of Erised.

James' birthday; a drunken James. Punches are thrown.

James goes missing.

But he tells me that he loves me. Three words. Three syllables. Eight letters.

We fight. All we do is fight.

"So you're saying that you don't trust me? You know, maybe it is best if we just-"

We're fighting again. This time, things are much more tense.

"James, I just thought we weren't going to hide-"

"If we just take a break."

I stop and look straight up at him. My heart feels like it has stopped. My eyes widen. "Wh- What," I choke out.

"Just until everything clears up, I mean."

"What," I cry.

"We're done."

Cara appears.

I'm spiraling back down to that painful reality.

A/N: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. It had things in it that I wanted to get in it, but it took me forever to write.

Now, I'll answer back to my lovely reviewers!

Mrs. Faboo Styles mwhahaha: of course I recognise who this is! I love Remus too, he's a sweetheart! oh goodness, don't me get started on her! I luff you too!

isigirl: Thank you for that little tip! I've changed it! Corrie is a girl (short for Corrine). Thank you! In case you didn't know, Remus is one of my favourites!

peacock23: I really appreciate your reviews! You get into the inner workings of my mind/ make me think of things I can add in. I just wanted to publicly thank you for being a driving force into this story. (:

Olivia update:

It's summer. Not much i can say.

Please, read/review!

Mischief Managed,

Olivia