Chapter 3

A kick where the Sun don't shine!

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling's playground, I just throw tantrums in it!

1:05, the Kitchen

HE'S HERE! I have popped the pie into the oven and it shall be ready soon. Making pies is really easy and great fun! Except when you have and annoying best friend asking questions every five minutes like "Where do babies come from?" and "Why do we have noses?" and "Why can't we walk around naked in public?" I swear I have never met anyone as stupid as her! And how could she ask where babies come from when she assisted at her own sister's birth (EW!) aaaaaaaaand she has completed the process of conception quite a few times! I think I'm going to casually walk down the stairs looking as fabulous as I usually do and do something to bend down so Harry can get a good look at my cleavage! Oh god, I just made him seem so shallow! My Harry isn't that shallow, is he? Who the hell am I kidding? He's a hormonal teenage boy! Of course he's shallow! But I won't do anything to encourage it! Oh dear. I can hear voices down stairs; I think the twins are here, that never means anything good. Did I just hear a giggle? A girl giggle? Where's Meggy!

Ta, ta for now!

G.W.

1:20, my super-duper cool room!

Well that couldn't have gone any worse! I think someone up there hates me. Or maybe just the twins. And Charlie. And Ron. And Sirius. Well let's just say anyone who knows me. I won't tell you what happened! Not even if you put me on Veritaserum! Ok, maybe if you put me on Veritaserum, but you're an inanimate object, so you can't! But if you do try, I'm going to burn you! Oh, look at me, I'm threatening a diary with burning at the stake. Maybe they should just make a wing at St. Mungo's just for me. They'll call it the Girl Who Can't Get Over A Boy Who Will Never Love Her And Is Threatening Her Diary With Fire So That It Doesn't Try To Force Veritaserum On Her, Ward. Well that took a long time to write. I vow not to write things that are too long so that I might keep this Diary for as long as I can. PSYCHE! I really don't care. I can get a new one. Thpbt! Ha! I just stuck my tongue out at you. Any who, as I was saying, I gave up on trying to make an impression on Harry and I went to my room with Meggy following me like a puppy. Speaking of which, she got two new puppies and they are so cute! Like Harry… No! Bad Girl! Stop Thinking about the Uber Hot Boy-Who-Lived! I put the handcuffs on myself. Harry could put handcuffs on me anytime… And now I have kinky thoughts about Harry! I'm going insane! Whatever, I'll tell what happened later.

1:22, my awesomely awesome room.

Ok I'll tell you! Stop looking at me like that, GOD! Well this is how it all went down. So I was kind of in the middle of changing when Harry got here… But I was so excited I didn't even notice so I went downstairs like any normal person would to greet their friend. He was sitting on a couch in the living room reading a book while everyone else was talking to each other.

Me: "Hi Harry." I smiled in a flirtatious way that Meggy does when she really wants to snog some one. He then looked up from the book he was reading. His eyes widened and he closed the book got up and walked away eyes wide as if in shock. Everyone was looking my way with eyes wide in shock. Just then Sirius walked in he looked at me and quickly covered his eyes.

Sirius: "AH! GINNY! MY EYES JUST GOT BURNED!" he then ran out of the room.

Ron: "Oh my god Ginny… why aren't you wearing a shirt!" I looked down and there was my overly exposed boobs trying to pop out of my bra. I quickly crossed my arms over my chest.

Fred: "Ginny you look like a whore!"

Charlie: "Well one of the reasons she could be like that is because most boys think it's hot." All of my brothers shot a death glare at Charlie.

Charlie: "Which is very wrong!" I was wondering… Meaghan was down here she would have come up with some brilliant excuse why I was only wearing a bra by now. Also George had been very quiet normally he would have jumped right in the conversation, very, very strange right? So I quickly looked around the room trying to find her so maybe I could get some back up. And there I saw… Meggy and George, MY BROTHER GEORGE AND MY BEST FRIEND MEAGHAN, snogging on the couch, and not normal snogging but hot and heavy snogging! Like as if she was going to shag him right they're on that very couch. Well his hands were up her shirt, WAIT! ACK! EW! WRONG PICTURE IN MY MIND!

Me: "MEAGHAN!" She tried to pull away from George but he kept pulling her back down when she finally got away from him she looked over in my direction. She immediately knew what to do. All of my brothers where lecturing me while I was trying to get her attention. One of the most embarrassing moments in my life and my best friend is busy snogging my brother on the couch! Very nice.

Meaghan: "Oh, Umm… walking around in a bra is very normal now-a-days. It's very high fashion in Italy, France you know all those places where people go to get all the fashion stuff. It's quite couture and mode you know." She looked like she was having trouble breathing or very tried. I then noticed it was from kissing my brother, EW! My brothers all looked at her with raised eyebrows at what she had said and the fact that she was laying on George with her head propped up on her elbow, which was resting on George's chest.

George: "It is?" Meaghan grabbed his balls and pulled upwards. WHICH IS SO GROSS! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE EVEN TOUCHED HIM THERE!

George in a very high voice: "Yep it is." Meaghan let go and nodded her head. All my brothers calmed down.

Fred: "Well… I guess if that's the case. But don't go wearing you bra without a shirt on around us."

Ron: "Or in public."

Charlie: "Or around Harry and Sirius."

George: "Or around Mom or Dad."

Meaghan: "Or around me, because to tell you the truth it's kinda gross."

Me: "I'm just going to go upstairs and change now." I quickly ran into my room and slammed the door shut. And here I am now. Stuck in my room because of total embarrassment. I just heard a knock on the door. I guess I should answer that shouldn't I?

1:35 my uber sweet room

It was Meggy; she came to see if I was going to recover from being embarrassed anytime soon because she wanted pie. The conversation was kinda like this.

Meaghan: "Done being embarrassed yet?"

Me: "Done snogging George yet?"

Meaghan: "Yes. Now answer my question because I want pie."

Me: "Like I've said before, the pie isn't for you! It's for Harry. And no I am not done being embarrassed yet."

Meaghan: "What ever. Can I come in? I need to fix my hair and make-up before I go back down."

Me: "I guess so…" She walked into my room and grabbed a bag of make-up and a brush out of her bag, which was fricking huge!

Meaghan: "So when are you going to done being embarrassed because if it's not soon I'm afraid the pie might burn." She ran the brush though her black hair, which had hints of violet red in it.

Me: "I don't know it was pretty embarrassing. Considering that all of the guys in this house saw me in my bra." Meaghan shrugged.

Meaghan: "Is that a bad thing?"

Me: "DUH! Well for me it is. You don't even care about that kind of stuff."

Meaghan: "That's why guys like me so much. I'm a very out-going person that is comfortable with my body. And I'm hot, but Ginny you're hot to you just don't realize it. You need to… embrace it and flaunt it, because if you don't your going to be a wall-flower for the rest of your life and Harry will never go out with a wall-flower now will he?" She had switched from brushing her hair to putting eyeliner on.

Me: "I don't like Harry. And besides the reason guys like you is because you're an easy snog."

Meaghan: "Bite your tongue. Besides I only snog guys I like."

Me: "Which is every guy in Hogwarts."

Meaghan: "Your brother isn't in Hogwarts." She pointed out switching to putting lip-gloss on.

Me: "This gets me to my other point. It's kind of illegal for you to be snogging my brother because number one he's nineteen and number two…YOUR SIXTEEN!"

Meaghan: "So? Since when have I listened to rules? Besides you brother is hot, and a very good kisser. Maybe he'll be good at something else too." She had just finished up and put her stuff back in her bag her left the room with a wink. Ew… she has such a dirty mind and doesn't even know it. Well, I guess I go should take that pie out of the oven.

2:00, have I mentioned that my room is uber sweet?

I just gave the pie to Harry and Ron, Hermione Harry and I had an interesting conversation with Meggy pooping her slutty head in every five minutes saying completely random things. So I went downstairs, got the pie out of the oven without burning my fingers (Quick! Get the choirs! Prepare them to sing Hallelujah in my honour!) And I managed to levitate four plates, forks, knives, glasses and a jug of milk while holding a hot pie. I brought four because wherever Harry is, Ron and Hermione are too. Except at night when Ron and Hermione shag. EW! Bad mental picture! I've been getting a lot of those these days. It kinda sucks. Anywho, I knocked on the door and walked in with a brilliant/apologetic smile.

Me: "Hey Harry! Sorry for that whole spectacle earlier. I've kinda been distracted."

Ron: (mutters angrily about his sister being a scarlet woman and indecency). Git

Harry: "Oh don't worry about it!"

Me: (stare at him suspiciously) "You're just happy 'cause you got to see my boobs."

Harry: "Yup."

Me: "Horny Git."

Hermione: Harry? Horny? He gets more ass than a toilet seat!

As you can see, in the amount of time that Hermione has been dating my brother, she has gotten more vulgar my the minute.

Me: "HA! I can see it now, Harry, a super high tech toilet that defeats dark lords and gets all the prettiest asses!"

Harry: "Why are you all talking about me as if I wasn't here?"

Me: "Because you're not Harry. You're invisible and you're having a hallucination. Its an Illllllluuuuuuuusion!"

Harry: "What have you been smoking?"

Me: "If my hands weren't full with PIE which I baked ESPECIALLY for YOU, I would give you a swift kick where the sun don't shine!"

Ron: "Why? It was just a question."

Me: "Yes, but I'm tired of people asking me that! Why do people automatically assume that I'm on drugs!

Hermione: " Um, Maybe because you are best friends with Meaghan, Luna, Draco and Neville?"

Me: " Good Point."

Hermione: " See Ron! I'm always right!"

Meggy: "DUCKIES!"

Ron: " Yes dear."

Harry: "( makes imaginary whipping noise)"

Me: "Anyways, I made you some apple pie Harry."

Harry: " Thanks Gin, but I'm not hungry."

Me: " I MADE THIS PIE ESPECIALLY FOR YOU SO YOU ARE GOING TO EAT IT, AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!"

Harry: " Right then, whatever you say Gin."

Me: " Much better"

Meggy: " Oh yeah? YOUR FACE!"

I stared at Meggy for a couple of moment and then cut out the pie which came out perfectly and Hermione tells us this extremely boring fact about how in the middle ages, people used to cook pies for royalty and such and put live birds in it so that when they cut it open, the birds would fly out. I told her to shut up.

Hermione: " Do you know how many times you've told me to shut up in the past few years?"

Me: "Um, No?"

Hermione: " 1457 times."

I turn to Harry.

Me: " The fact that she counted is a testament to the fact that she has no life."

Harry holds out his finger.

Harry: "Pull my finger Gin."

Me: " Shut up and eat your pie."

Harry: " Yes'm"

And that is basically how the entire thing went. With Ron shovelling pie into his mouth in the most disgusting way possible. What an eventful life I lead!

Ciao!

G.W.

A/N: There you go! My bestest best friend Inwe Elensar has co-written this with me! Please R&R and tell me what you think!

Kisses!

Motherlyclucker