Chapter 3

As I entered the room, I heard, "Who names themself 'Starchild'?"

"Uh, it's an homage," I answered, as if the question was directed at me, "to Ziggy Stardust...and the Spiders from Mars?" The judges gave me blank stares, so I assumed they had no idea what I was talking about. "I am so sorry I'm late," I continued, "People kept stopping me in the street and asking for a picture with me." One of the judges, who I recognized as the guy from the community center, rolled his eyes, while the other, who was a girl, was smiling a little at me.

"Well yeah," said a girl from behind me, "cause you look like a badass!" I giggled and blushed lightly.

"Thanks," I turned back to the judges, the guy still looking unimpressed. I gulped, praying they didn't hear me do so, and continued. "I did design and sew this costume myself." The girl judge smiled at the guy and scribbled on a piece of paper in front of her.

"It's a little Project Runway, season six." I got a little nervous then, and my smile faded. I had seen that season before, the designers made clothes that wouldn't even function as good halloween costumes. My hands began to feel clammy and I started to take silent deep breaths to calm myself down.

"It's ok, Elliott," I said to myself. "Confidence, remember?" The judge cleared his throat.

"Eh hem," I snapped back to reality and looked him straight in the eyes. I had read once that eye contact was the key to showing confidence. "Have you prepared a song?" I nodded.

"Yeah, of course. It's by one of my favorite artists. Someone who has always inspired me to be myself, no matter what other people think." I turned and walked onto the stage, taking note of everything around me, visualizing how it could be incorporated into my performance. I put my hands on the microphone and the stand, standing tall and facing forward, ready to begin.

"Here we go," I thought to myself, "Time to show them what I have to offer." I nodded to keyboardist, who dropped me a beat. I began to sing Marry The Night by Lady Gaga. She was my favorite female artist at the time, plus I felt her powerful vocals matched mine perfectly. As I sang, I shot the judges some of the sexy looks I practiced in my bathroom earlier. At first, they didn't seem to be that impressed, but that was only the beginning. Once the beat dropped, I began to strut around the stage as I sang, sitting on the piano, dancing with the guitarist, and acting out the lyrics as I sang. The girl judge smiled at me as I did this.

"You've got one of them hooked," I thought to myself, "Now all that's left is the guy. Time to kick it up a notch." I felt my heart beating faster and my adrenaline went through the roof. I focused my eyes on the guy judge. As I sang the bridge of the song, I smirked at him and walked sexily toward the judges table. He looked a little taken aback. "Excellent, you've surprised him," I thought, "Keep going!" I sat on the table, put my leg up and pointed at him as I sang. His eyes were bugging out his head as I belted out the song. "Yes! He's awestruck!" I had both judges on my side now, so I decided to bring in the showstopper. I belted the vocals as loud as can, hitting every high note, and began dancing on the floor. The music coursed through my veins like my own blood. I felt like I was born to do this, to entertain, to make music! I got up, jumped back on stage, saw a chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and gripped it tight. "Now for the grand finale!" I used my foot to push myself off the stage and spun around on the chandelier. On the last line of the song, I dropped down, screamed into the final note into the microphone and threw the microphone stand down on the ground. I gave the judges a fierce look and panted, out of breath from all the singing and dancing.

"Bravo!" Yelled the girl judge, as she gave me a standing ovation. I blushed and giggled.

"You just rocked it so hard!" Exclaimed the guitar girl. I smiled.

"Thank you so much guys," I said, "It really me-"

"Thank you very much, Starchild," interrupted the male judge, "but I'm afraid it's a no." My smile faded in an instant.

"What?!" Said the guitarist and girl judge in unison. I frowned and began to speak, but was interrupted yet again.

"You're very talented, Starchild" said the male judge, "but you're not what I'm looking for. Maybe if you toned down your look, I'd be willing to reconsider. Sorry, bye." He stood up and began to walk out of the room.

"Kurt!" Yelled the girl judge as she grabbed his arm. "You cannot be serious!" They argued some, but the only thing I could hear was the sound of my heartbeat, banging in my ears. I felt like I was going to be sick. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes. My lip began to quiver as I thought of going back home, an empty-handed failure. The words of discouragement that I got back home echoed through my mind.

"You're never gonna make it!" "You're just a freak!" "What kinda name is Starchild?!" "You can't even sing!" "You have no talent!" "No wonder you didn't get accepted into NYADA!" "You will never be a star, you fag!" I couldn't hold it in anymore. I ran out of the conference room as fast as I could, hiding my face in my arm, and cried. I ran out of NYADA and hid in a nearby alley. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. I hugged my legs to my chest and sobbed silently into my knees. This was my big break and I ruined it by trying too hard. I had never felt so foolish and dumb in my entire life. Suddenly, I heard the sound of thunder and gasped. I ran out of the alley and back to my apartment building seconds before the rain fell. I walked up the stairs, sniffling and wiping the black tears from my cheeks. I opened the door to my apartment and laid on my air mattress.

"I c-can't believe I e-ever thought I'd make it," I sobbed. I took out my notepad from my pocket and looked at my list. "I was so stupid!" I threw it at the wall in anger and cried into my pillow. I cried for another 15 minutes, until I realized something. If all the stars gave up after their first failure, there wouldn't be any stars! I decided that I would not give up on my dreams just because of one faulty audition. I was gonna prove to that guy that I was right for his band. I was gonna be a star and I was willing to do anything to make that dream come true.