Too Many Men!
Chapter 3 – Girls' Day Out
The next day at the Krusty Krab entrance...
Pearl: Where's Sandy? She's taking such a long time.
Mrs. Puff: Don't worry, she'll be here soon.
Pearl: I'll just try to call her now and ask her where she is.
(Pearl takes out her cellphone and calls Sandy)
Sandy (picks up phone): Howdy, Sandy Cheeks speakin'
Pearl: Sandy, it's me, Pearl.
Sandy: Oh, howdy Pearl!
Pearl: Where are you?
Sandy: Oh, you guys are there already? I'm just gettin' ready to go now.
Pearl: OK, girl, we'll wait for you. Just hurry, OK?
Sandy: OK, Pearl! I'll see you there! Bye!
(Sandy hangs up)
Marleen (part of Pearl's fashion troupe): So, where is she?
Pearl: She's just getting ready to go now. Just wait for her, she'll be here in a minute.
Mrs. Puff: Alright, Pearl. I agree with you. We can't go anywhere without Sandy.
Tara (another member of the troupe): Can't we just go now? I'm gonna miss my date with Ted.
Pearl: That smooth cashier? He tried to hit on me and Sandy. Yeuch.
Tara: I know. He tried to do that to me too. But he is just SO hot and I couldn't resist. We had a date in his place yesterday...
Pearl: What did he try to do to you, Tara? You can't trust men, you know.
Tara: We just went in the hot tub. He is so sweet. Sigh.
Pearl: -gags-
Marleen: Omigosh, Tara. You, are, like, so, omigosh... –gags-
Mrs. Puff: In all my years I had never –gags-
Tara: What? He's so (slyly) ... hot. (Licks lips)
Pearl, Marleen and Mrs. Puff: -gags-
Tara: I so love Ted. He is such a –
(Sandy comes)
Sandy: Howdy, y'all! I'm so sorry I'm –
(Pearl hugs Sandy)
Pearl: Omigosh, you're here! You just saved me from that – that- (points to Tara) repulsive PREDATOR!
Tara: I was just saying Ted was hot!
Sandy: Ted? Yeuch! He's a leech!
Sandy: -gags-
Mrs. Puff, Pearl and Marleen: -gags-
Sandy: Ted is SO not hot! He tried to hit on me! But somebody ELSE is SO much hotter...
Mrs. Puff: Oh, dear. Here they go again...
Pearl: You mean SpongeBob?
Pearl, Mrs.Puff, Tara and Marleen: -gags-
Marleen: You know people? Actually, I think that Squidward dude is pretty intriguing himself...
Pearl: -gags-
Sandy: No! SpongeBob is FRICKIN' hotter than that-that-that –
Tara: That SQUID! Even I prefer SpongeBob!
Marleen: -gags-
Mrs. Puff: Oh, Mr.Puff... The good old days...
Sandy, Tara, Pearl and Marleen: -gags-
Sandy: Can y'all stop gaggin' and GO ALREADY!!
Pearl: OK, OK, sheesh. No need to get so testy, girlfriend.
Tara: Totally! After all, the party's just begun!
All: WOOHOO!! To the beauty salon!!
(The ladies leave)
Meanwhile at SpongeBob's house, the guys of Bikini Bottom have a meeting...
SpongeBob: Guys... I miss Sandy.
Ted: Yeah. I miss Tara too. I know I've been so smooth with the ladies, but what I had with her was special...
Sponge, Squid and Mr.Puff: -gasp- What exactly DID you do?
Ted (blushing): I... um - I mean... uh...
SpongeBob: You went ALL THE WAY?
Ted: W-well... not exactly... but last night...
Squidward: OK, OK, we get it!!
Ted: C'mon, Squid, we know you're hiding something...
Squidward (blushing): W-w-w-w-w-WHAT?! No...
Mr.Puff: Spit it out, youngster. You remind me of when I first met my darling Puffy.
Squidward: SHUT UP, YOU OLDBAG!!
(Squidward tackles Mr.Puff to the floor and strangles him. Mr.Puff gasps exhaustedly, trying to free himself from Squidward's grasp. The two roll around the floor like pro wrestlers)
SpongeBob: NO! STOP! My FURNITURE!!
Gary: Meow.
(SpongeBob screams agitatedly)
SpongeBob: STOOOOOOP IIIIIIIIIT!!
Ted: Let me handle this, li'l sponge. I'll show you the exact reason why ladies roll with my punches.
(Ted pulls Mr. Puff away from Squidward and drags him back to SpongeBob's sofa. Mr.Puff sits back down while wheezing exhaustedly)
Mr.Puff: -puff- -wheeze- -cough- Thank you, Ted...
Ted: You've got it, old-timer. Now back to the show...
(Ted pulls Squidward back to a chair, far away from Mr. Puff)
Ted(to SpongeBob): Sponge-Dude, get a bucket of water and splosh it on Squid's face while I keep him from getting away.
SpongeBob: R-roger that, Ted!
(SpongeBob grabs a bucket and fills it with water)
Ted: Now splosh it on Squiddy!
Squidward: No!!
(Ted holds Squidward back while Squidward tried to free himself. SpongeBob sploshes water all over Squidward's face)
Squidward: Ack! OK, OK, I give up!
Ted: Now confess.
Squidward: Well actually...
Ted: Spill it!
Squidward (shyly; in a low voice): Actually, I have a crush on Marleen.
Sponge, Ted and Mr.Puff: -gasp-
SpongeBob: -gags-
Ted: Whoa, dude!
Mr.Puff: Young man! –cough-
Squidward: What?
Mr.Puff: You really remind me of myself when I first met my darling Doreen. The only one I had ever loved and cherished throughout my -
Squidward: Yeah, yeah, I get the point.
SpongeBob: Anyway... I miss Sandy.
Ted (pats SpongeBob's back): You're not the only one.
Squidward: I can't believe I'm saying this... But I agree with the little square troublemaker. Marleen is just so beautiful...
Ted: Tara told me that Marleen likes you too, Squidward.
Squidward: That still doesn't brighten up my day.
Mr.Puff: Oh, Squidward. You remind me of when I first met my darling Doreen. The only one I –
Squid, Sponge and Ted: SHUT UP ALREADY!!
Mr.Puff: You youngsters miss your ladies too. As do I. I miss my darling Doreen. The only one I have ever loved and cherished throughout my life. I shall love her, until my dying days. Oh, Doreen...
(Mr. Puff talks on and on about his "darling Doreen")
Ted: -huff- I guess we'd better ignore that dude and call up the ladies. Since you, Sponge, are having a misunderstanding with yours, and you, Squid, aren't the official BF of yours yet, I shall call up the lovely Tara.
Sponge and Squid: OK.
(Ted takes his cellphone out from his pocket and dials Tara's number)
TO BE CONTINUED...