Ternary logic: 'yes', 'no', or 'what the fuck'.
Written during a nasty bout with the common cold, and completely unedited save for typos in order to preserve the crack. Hopefully. The main title is taken from the 31 Days theme for September 15, 2008; the titles of the three segments in this drabble are taken from the themes for January 16 2008, March 7 2007 and December 6 2007, respectively.
It's sane enough what I'm asking.
"Don't smoke for a week, and I'll let you do whatever you want."
In retrospect, Gokudera Hayato should've known that it was a trap. He was the future Storm Guardian of the Vongola, Right Hand to the Boss and a strategist unparalleled in skill among the other Guardians and maybe even beyond the family itself. Geniuses like him weren't supposed to get themselves into situations like this.
Gokudera is this close to mentally kicking himself yet again for being an idiot when, as he cracks open his umpteenth box of Pocky for the day, he catches Yamamoto's eyes, and the other boy smiles at him. The fucking bastard has the fucking nerve to smile.
Gokudera scowls and rips open the pack with a vengeance.
"A-ano… Gokudera-kun? Are you… are you okay?"
The Tenth looks and sounds worried, and Gokudera immediately feels like a total heel for concerning his boss. He reminds himself to sock Yamamoto one later.
"I'm fine, Tenth!"
And Gokudera goes through the first stick of chocolate-flavored Pocky the way a power saw rips through a plank of wood. He wonders why Tsuna's eyes have gone wide as saucers and Yamamoto's doubled over with laughter.
You impersonate a person better than a zombie should.
By the third day it has become clear that even with a supply of Pocky in the astronomical levels is not going to help him.
Gokudera (without knowing it, of course) develops the habit of chewing on his pencil eraser during, between and after class hours. Now this would be fine, except he's not just chewing on the eraser, but chewing it through. Completely. Right down to the nub.
Tsuna musters up enough courage to ask his self-professed right hand man yet again if something is wrong, and promptly feels a little bit of him die inside when Gokudera whips around in his seat in mid-bite, snapping the pencil in half.
"…WHAT IS IT, TENTH?"
Tsuna does the first thing that comes to mind: he shrieks and hides behind Yamamoto.
Gokudera, by that point, does not know whether he wants to fuck Yamamoto or blow him to kingdom come.
—Fool me thrice, shame on me.
Their bet terminates at exactly 10:00 PM on the seventh day. Gokudera is in Yamamoto's room by 9:59 PM, shoving the boy to the wall by his collar. Yamamoto is mildly amused at how Gokudera is still so strong, even when the nicotine jitters are bad enough to make his teeth chatter.
"I… I've won. I-I've fucking w-won!"
"Ahaha, well~ now you get to do whatever you want!"
And Yamamoto, the infuriating baseball idiot and future Rain Guardian of the Vongola family, grins, raising his hands up in defeat.
Gokudera's victory, however, is short-lived, terminated the moment that he realizes that actually, he really doesn't know what to do in bed beyond biting, rubbing, kissing, sucking and being fucked, not doing the fucking.
Yamamoto laughingly takes the other boy in his arms & kisses him, trying not to make it obvious that this had been the game plan all along.