Losing My Head, Spinning Round and Round

***Yeah, this chapter is all Defan. Sorry if anyone wanted to see an appearance by Elena, I am just such a big Damon/Stefan fan that that's all I wanted to write today. I can't say this enough: I LOVE THIS PAIRING! There definitely needs to be more stories about them on fanfiction, hence why I'm writing this. Thanks for any reviews btw! Very encouraging and keep me interested in writing. If you like, review for this chapter too!***

Mmmmmmm. Fresh blood after sex was the best. Damon let the girl drop, unconscious, in a back alley, knowing she would wake up a few hours later with a headache and partial memory loss. The perks of being a vampire. If only Stefan would feed from people. It was so easy, and no one even needed to get hurt. It would also allow Stefan to be a little stronger, not so weak and out-of-control. Damon still wondered why he was painted as the bad guy with no restraint when he was the one that could leave people completely unharmed and alive while his brother was the one either going completely bunny or ripping someone's head clean off. Their head for Christ's sakes. Stefan's lifestyle was clearly not the moral choice.

Nevertheless, apparently Elena had decided she was okay with Damon anyway, so there was no need to dwell on the topic. Thank God the girl had finally come to her senses! Okay, so she didn't technically say they were back together, but the whole 'passionate sex' thing kind of implied it.

Poor little Stefan…what if he decided to leave again? Oh no, what if he was upset, jealous, or angry about Damon and Elena's relationship? Damon just knew he wanted, needed, Stefan to stay, so he decided his relationship with Elena was best kept under wraps. His brother was, well, his brother was everything. Without him, Damon wasn't sure if Elena meant anything at all…

"Stefan?" He called out upon opening the door to their house, looking around with confusion. "Steeefan!"

"Hey!" Stefan answered, rushing down the stairs rather quickly, leaning on the banister with ease and grace. His face was flushed and he was sweating slightly, such a thin sheen that only another vampire would have noticed.

"Where were you?" Damon questioned, wondering why his brother wasn't on the lower level of the building, as was his custom. Stefan never hung out in his room during the day like Damon did, so why was he upstairs? That was how they stayed out of each other's hair: Damon remained upstairs while Stefan remained downstairs. This was some sort of unspoken code between them, and Damon was very surprised to see Stefan had broken it.

"Oh, just in the bathroom, you know…" Stefan trailed off, not elaborating on that particular visit. If Damon found out what he had actually been doing he'd never hear the end of it. Best to keep that private.

"What were you doing in the bathroom you idiot?" Damon said, rolling his eyes.

"What do you think? I was using the bathroom… peeing? Urinating? Do you need me to spell it out for you?" Stefan asked, exasperated. His brother could be such a pain.

Damon's eyes traveled immediately to Stefan's jeans, spying that they remained unbuttoned and unzipped, the smell of fresh cum in the air. Gross. It was quite obvious what Stefan had been doing in the bathroom. And let's just say it wasn't primarily urination…

"Yeah, sure, that really explains the disgusting smell emanating off of you right now, Stefan. You don't need to hide anything from me, you know. You can't hide anything from me. Now what were you really doing in the bathroom?"

"Jesus Damon! You know what I was doing."

"I want to hear you say it. That's all you have to do and I'll stop pestering you. Even let you get back to your… um… business, if you want. Actually, no. Not while I'm here. Too disturbing to think about that."

"Fine! I was masturbating in the bathroom. In yours, to be exact. Happy now? I can't believe you made me say that!" Stefan's emotions were a mixture of anger, humiliation, and continued arousal as he stared at Damon, whose face was screwed up in a mask of horror.

"You were in mine? Why the hell did you choose mine? Great Stefan. Now whenever I go in there all I'll be able to think about is… oh God." Damon shuddered dramatically, smirking at Stefan's embarrassment.

Why was I in yours? Because it smelled like you and all I could think about was how you smelled that night when we kissed. Over 100 years ago. Your breath, your hands on my face, all of it. Your wonderful smell.

"It was closest." Stefan said lamely, staring at the ground, kicking at invisible dirt.

Damon was having enough fun teasing him, sure, knowing he was uncomfortable with such topics of conversation, and was thoroughly enjoying Stefan's obvious unease. But his eyes kept coming back to Stefan's unbuttoned pants. The smell of arousal heavy in the air. If he could only pull those jeans down a little further, kiss down his chest to his brother's waist, continuing down until he hit… Stop! Hold it right there! What was he thinking? That entire notion was disgusting. It must be the drugs in that girl's blood, making him a little loopy. Had to be. Though his mind kept returning to one particular incident many years ago,,,

It was a full year after the kiss. Neither one of the brothers had said anything about it and neither one of them had attempted anything similar since. It seemed both were content to pretend it had never happened, resuming their lives as normal. Damon was heading off to war and Stefan was staying behind with their father, Giuseppe, to entertain a young woman who was coming to stay with them by the name of Katherine Pierce. And Stefan hated it.

"Please Damon, don't go, don't leave me!" Stefan had pleaded as soon as he heard the news. Damon was, for obvious reasons, worried about leaving Stefan alone with their father, who had always taken out his anger on Damon, but otherwise knew he had to go. He swore, though, that if Giuseppe ever touched Stefan, he would kill him. Stefan was his baby brother, and he would protect him with all of his power. Especially against the evils of their father.

The night before he was supposed to embark, Damon heard a knock at his door. It was faint and unsure, meaning it had to be Stefan. He had merely been packing up the last of his belongings, and sighed deeply before inviting him to come in.

"We've been living together for 15 years now, brother. I think we're past all the formalities of knocking."

"I know, I just… Damon I beg you not to go, not to leave me here. Please."

"I'm sorry Stefan. You know I have to go. If I didn't, we both know father would have my head. And I have a duty. I'm a grown man now and you need to learn how to become one. Without me."

"But Damon, I don't know what to do without you. I need you. Without you I can't survive, I swear it!" Stefan was starting to cry, fat tears trickling down his still boyish, angelic face.

"Oh little brother," Damon breathed, aching for the pain on his face, the tears clouding his eyes. He stepped closer, putting his hand on Stefan's shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. "Ms. Pierce will be here soon and you'll forget about me. I hear she is beautiful. Perfect for you to bestow your extraordinary kisses on." He winked, giving Stefan a knowing smile.

Stefan was taken aback, staring at Damon with shock. They had never spoken of their secret kisses that night. Not ever. And now a year later Damon had decided to bring them rushing to the surface once again.

Stefan watched as the blue eyes neared his face, drawing closer as Damon pressed his lips to Stefan's cheek, kissing away the tears one by one. As the tears kept coming, Damon kept kissing, his tongue darting out between his lips to lick at the salty water before moving to the next one.

"You didn't think I forgot, did you?" Damon asked between caresses. "Never, brother, never."

Stefan was filled with both sadness and joy, reaching up tentatively to stroke Damon's hair. The strands were soft and pliant, moving easily through his slender fingers. Damon tensed at first, but soon relaxed under Stefan's touch, continuing to kiss Stefan's face as his own hands moved to Stefan's brown, shorter hair. They were both gripping each other's heads, pressing them closer together as if this would be the last time they ever saw each other. And it might be.

Finally Stefan mustered up enough courage to begin kissing Damon back, brushing their lips together for brief moments, creating soft, gentle caresses entirely different from the reckless passion of a year ago. Damon nuzzled his nose into Stefan's cheek as Stefan moved his kisses to Damon's jaw, down his neck, to kiss his collarbone, until traveling back up again to join their lips. Damon moved his hands from Stefan's head to his chest, drawing him closer so that he could lean forward and nip his younger brother's ear, licking it and kissing it tenderly.

Stefan couldn't hold back a moan as Damon did this, arching his back into Damon's strong torso.

"Shhhhh… we don't want to alert Father." Damon mumbled before resuming his touches, tracing his fingers down Stefan's sides lightly, grasping the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. Stefan did the same for Damon then, wanting so badly to touch their naked skin together, feel that electricity. And boy, did they feel it.

As soon as their firm abdomens collided, Damon moved to straddle Stefan, sitting in his lap, allowing their growing erections to rub together, moaning into his brother's hair as quietly as possible.

"God Stefan," he breathed, arms encircling his back to hold him ever closer. Stefan rubbed his hands all over Damon's abs, loving the hardness and slimness of his waist, feeling the sinewy muscles of his back, looking into the delirium of his lustful blue eyes, shimmering in the moonlight. He gradually moved his fingers down to Damon's thighs, hoisting them up farther on his own hips, tickling the insides, precariously close to the bulge in Damon's pants, eliciting another moan from Damon, slightly louder this time.

Damon couldn't help it any longer. He wasn't thinking, just feeling, somewhere in the back of his mind knowing this was wrong, but wanting it anyway. Maybe wanting it because it was wrong. He eagerly moved his hands to the waistband of Stefan's pants and undid the button, but instead of reaching down the front he snaked his hands around back to cup his brother's firm ass, massaging it in time to their kissing. He maneuvered his mouth to Stefan's chest, swirling the nipple with his tongue, delighting in the gasp it induced as he bit it playfully, chuckling just a little as Stefan stiffened when his hands brushed over his entrance accidentally, Stefan's eyes rolling back in ecstasy.

"Boys?"

"Shit!" Damon cursed as he heard his father knock on the door and call for them. He scrambled to throw his shirt back on and cracked the door a tiny bit as Stefan finished re-buttoning his pants and donning his own shirt.

"What were you doing?" Giuseppe asked suspiciously, eyes darting from one son to the other. Their hair was still mussed and their cheeks still flushed, panting with the aftereffects of such passion.

"I was just saying goodbye to ole Stef here." Damon smiled slyly, for some reason hoping his father caught something in his words, their messy appearances, and his smug grin as he leaned arrogantly in the doorway. Stefan just sat there stoically on the bed, hoping to God their father remained oblivious. If he found out… well… Damon would probably end up dead and he in some mental health institution.

Giuseppe finally just shook his head and walked away, looking rather confused, making sure to glare at them before leaving as a warning not to do anything… inappropriate.

Damon turned around and laughed, snickering uncontrollably.

"Goodbye little brother." He said softly, kissing him hard on the lips, tongue and all, before pulling away with a bittersweet smile and motioning for Stefan to go to his own room. And he did.

The next morning, Damon left for the war. And that was the last time they had ever touched in such a way. And now Damon was once again staring transfixed at the open button of Stefan's pants, wanting to open it and start again. But that was never going to happen. He didn't want it to happen. Stefan was his brother. He had blocked these incidents from his mind for years. And now they decided to come back. He tried to clear them away before his own growing erection became any more noticeable. Stop thinking about Stefan's lips! His tongue! Enough!

"Well brother, I'll leave you to it. Just don't use my bathroom again. That's more than a little creepy."

"Whatever," Stefan shrugged, just glad that Damon seemed willing to drop the topic, He didn't want to have to explain that he only sometimes had these weird thoughts, that he wasn't really attracted to his brother in that way. Not at all.

….

Stefan was sitting in the living room brooding (what else?) when Damon walked in.

"Brother, I have something to tell you."

"What?" Stefan asked, expecting the worst

"I want you."

"Umm… excuse me?" He asked, uncomprehending. Did he just say…?

"I. Want. You."

"I don't think –" Stefan started to say before Damon's lips crashed down upon his own. Where the hell was this coming from? But he wasn't stopping it. Instead he kissed back, letting Damon tear off his pants, stroke his dick, attack every part of his body. Stefan was on fire.

"Oh Damon," he groaned as Damon began to suck his cock. This was perfect. Everything was perfect.

Until he woke up.

You have got to be kidding me! Stefan fumed. Another erection was pushing at his pants. And another weird dream had pushed its way into his precious sleep. Fuck.

He stood up awkwardly and once again shuffled to the bathroom. At least it was his own this time. He began to pump along his cock, begging this to be over with soon. As he neared climax, willing it to come now, who would walk in but Damon. Could this day get any worse?

"Hey little bro! Again? Really? What are you, some kind of sex robot?"

"Just go away Damon." Stefan said angrily, pulling his hand out of his pants.

"Aww, come on! What's wrong with a little brotherly bonding?"

"Is that what you think these dreams you're sending me are? Brotherly bonding?"

"What dreams? What are you talking about Stefan?"

"Don't play dumb with me. I know it was you."

"Now why would I send you erotic dreams? What were they even about anyway?"

In a split second Stefan had Damon pinned to the wall, snarling in his face.

"I said don't play dumb Damon. I don't know what game you're trying to play but you better stop right now."

"I'm not playing any games baby bro! Calm down!" Damon said, leaning in closer to get his point across.

At this Stefan lost control. He pressed in and kissed Damon. Hard. On the lips. Gripping his hips and pressing in close. Damon just stood there shocked for a few seconds before pushing Stefan away harshly.

"What the hell?" He asked, wiping at his lips. Stefan looked up, shocked as well, cheeks turning bright red.

"Well, I guess we know what the dream was about."