Disclaimer: Death Note is not mine. It's fiction.

Note: This is Alternate Universe. If you see that some things are off, it's because AU offers the ability to change everything, even the setting, which I will not. This is another life, in which Light keeps relating to his past life, which was his life as Kira.

- Also, I was skeptical about posting. I don't know if it's good... I'm always my worst critic.

To dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation.


SonokoTao: You're pretty observant lol It's a good thing and thank you for the criticism.
I'm sorry if I disappointed you in some way. I connected it with a certain experience of my own with a certain psychologist. Thank you very much for reviewing and reading.

X-Dreamweaver-X: Thank you ! I'm glad you're liking it so far.

love lawliet: I SHALL UPDATE RIGHT NOW! Thank you !!

yaoi loveing wolf: -stares back and clicks enter button- readread. Thank you.

Broken Sparrow

by Miss Odzy

03: Comatose

"I spoke to you in a dream, I begged you not to bleed."

I avoided sleeping. I couldn't afford it anymore. There was a sick feeling in my stomach, I'd return to college today. I'd go and he'd be there and I'd have no choice but to look. I'm not an exception, I can't take classes at any other time and I couldn't ask him to leave. My selfless thoughts grew more and more selfish everyday. I didn't want to see him and I didn't want to feel that undeniable hate. I hated Ryuuzaki, wholly and passionately, without knowing him, but sensing him. He was L.

"Raito, how was the doctors?" My mother had a way of softly dealing with the negatives, with her voice calm and gentle, asking me how the doctors went, if he could cure my nightmares, which he couldn't. I wouldn't lie, even though lying would have been the predictable route. I didn't want to upset her, but which would hurt her in the end? She would be able to tell if I were getting better or worse, my condition evident with the nosebleeds, the shaking, and the sweating. She'd notice that I'm not better.

"Uun," I shook my head, meeting her worried eyes, always worrying about me. "It seemed like a childish diagnostic. He didn't act like he wanted to help me. He took it as a joke, I think. Even if he didn't outright call me a liar, I knew that he was thinking it. He probably thought I wanted medicine for my own pleasure."

She stopped right in front of me, "Wakarimasen..."

"I don't understand it much, either. But I'm sure that what he did wasn't legal and the matter should be looked into further." She shook her head and placed down the rag she had been wiping everything down with. She looked tired and she had every reason to be. Perhaps, she suffered at night as well, knowing that I wasn't sleeping, or that I was most likely having nightmares. Her quiet voice was barely there, in the empty house, "I wonder if my prayers no longer reach God, if he's chosen to block me out, since I've been praying for so long."

She gave a long sigh, as she continued, "My Raito...you were so young... Do you know how difficult it is for a mother to watch her son experience constant night terrors, nightmare after nightmare? Holding you only seemed to make it worse... How many doctors said you were fine or didn't know what to do with you? I want it to end."

"Okaasan..." I looked at her, my eyes going soft. "I can imagine having to endure the stress of putting my entire family through this, and through that, I experienced absolute patience, love, and understanding."

He didn't show up, thankfully, this 'Ryuuzaki', and I was glad. He didn't show up the day after that, and the next. I hadn't slept and I wouldn't be having any. Even though, I was more worn out throughout the day, I found it to be worth it. Classes used to be stressful, but now they were as they should be, normal. Without hate or nervousness, whoever Ryuuzaki was, he wouldn't be coming back, but this also worried me, as found in my annoying family attributes.

"Did you hear about Ryu?" I opened my ears for a moment, the two students next to me loved socializing and gossiping, I might have to determine what's real or not. If Ryuuzaki was anything like L, then he'd undoubtedly be a smart individual.

But what falsely things could happen to a smart individual?

I planned on someday meeting the Ryuuzaki, I wanted to ask him questions, if he also had the same dreams as I did, if he was L, and if he was too weak to fight against it, and allowed this 'L' to speak and not speak himself. I wanted to know so many things. I just wasn't ready for it. Now that he would literally never come back, or so they were saying, I felt at loss.

"I heard he was in an accident…expelled…moved…dead…"

None of them sounded right. I got up from my seat and proceeded to walk out into the June weather. I'd miss another lesson, not that my mind was registering anything lately. I was still decent with grades, most of it was easy, and taught personally by my father ever since I became interested in it. I'd have to go through him and see if he knows of anything. A cop is always on scene if something bad were to happen to anyone. They'd surely know.

But how many calls were there in the past few days that Ryuuzaki wasn't here?

"Yagami-san…" came the shockingly warm voice and I turned sharply to see who it was, already knowing, but not knowing all at once. It was familiar and startling overwhelming. The man in front of me was well past his time, but smiled delicately, as if pleased to be seeing me, like I was someone he's known his entire life.

"Gomen…" I apologized, letting him know that I don't remember him. I felt ashamed, but why? He was an old man, with snow white hair, and small circle framed glasses, and his attire was not one of Japan's fashions. It was foreign wear, but it mattered little at this point. My habit way of analyzing others sometimes wasn't my fault, it's something acquired on my own, when I blocked myself out from the world and simply watched.

Again, that gentle polite smile. "Ryuuzaki has done something beyond his wits." He continued when I didn't answer, that smile turning sour, "…the boy has put himself into a coma. You know why."

My body went limp for a moment, as I leaned back against the nearest wall, my mind going faster than I could catch up with. What was he thinking? The man placed his bony fingers on my shoulder, and brought me back to reality, "You know why, Light Yagami."

"I…" I was shaking my head, because honestly, I couldn't comprehend it. My eyes searched the floor, as if there answers were there. "Lack of self-awareness…lack of purposeful movements, lack of sleep-wake cycle, impaired breathing-"

"The coma was chemically induced for his own beneficial healing process, he's deeply sleeping, and obtain none of the symptoms you just listed." He let go of my arm, "Yagami-san, you must think beyond natural causes."

"And what healing was there to be done?" My voice had a harsh edge to it, though I hadn't meant it to sound so defensive, why should I be?

"He's finding answers."

I turned on my desk lamp and opened my notebook, I write down anything new I discover from my disorder, or so I thought it was, now I realized that it was something fictional, like I had feared. It was something that made no sense at all. I was supposed to be someone else, wasn't I? My past life was channeling into this life, and somehow, I was born again, when I wasn't supposed to be, and by being born again, I had also brought back the dead, not literally – but their spirits inside their future-selves, their forms.

I could be wrong. I had to be wrong.

And Ryuuzaki had put himself into a deep sleep to find these answers. The more he dreamt, the more he came up with conclusions. He knew more than I did about it. He already knew that I was experiencing the same exact thing that he was; perhaps L was inside his head, whispering in his ear, in his dreams, telling him. L would do anything, wouldn't he? He'd do anything to hurt me, but what could he possibly benefit from all of this?

Why would he help…was he helping...

I flicked off the lamp and crawled into bed, I'd have to try sleeping. Watari had put it into perspective for me, even if he wouldn't tell me enough and pretty soon it would come down to sleeping again and hurting again. I wondered if L would be helpful this time, or if he would continue taunting me. It was a game to him. I'd gladly play it tonight, I'd offer him what he wanted, and hopefully I'd get what I wanted: Answers.

"Alright, so what do I do?"

"Save him. That's all."

"Wait… how did you know to find me?"

"Ryuuzaki is an exceptional detective. He told me to search for you before we went through with the procedure."

"I know his name, but what's your name?"

"On the contrary, Yagami-san, you don't know Ryuuzaki's true name. I doubt you ever will. But, I shall give you my name. It's Watari. And along with my name, I shall give you a warning. Do not in any shape or form hurt or kill Ryuuzaki, or else you will surely pay for it, as you well known what true justice is and how it works."

Oh, I knew, I was aware, and I'd never defy those rules. I believed in it too much. Apparently, in my last life, I had killed. I killed L. I was bound to him, my soul – my life, completely his, and I might not make it into Heaven, I might go straight back to hell, but as long as this was my life, and not Kira's life, then I'd do it differently and not succumb to his ways. I'd go to hell knowing that what I did was right and surely, there would be a grinning devil waiting for me, and I'd greet him with a smile.

I closed my eyes.

Welcome me back, I'm yours.

You know you can't resist.

Come and hurt me.

For I am full of sin…

And for that, you can't resist.

Come on, L.

"I didn't think you'd come. It's been long nights, Yagami-kun." He looked over at me, his dark eyes cold, and empty. His skin was near glowing, the dark clouds creating a paleness and dullness to the made-up scenery. His lips twitched into a smile, as he remained in an odd-crouching position, bringing his thumb up – chewing on the short nail, "Have you revisited your memories, I wonder…"

I walked closer, as if suddenly possessed. He seemed unreal. "What memories?"

"So many people you have killed, Kira and I couldn't put you to justice. They all played into your hands, until the very end." He got up from his spot on the floor, his stance slouching – his tall slender figure more apparent as the rain clung his white shirt to his body. His large – scrutinizing dark eyes never looking away from mine. "I enjoyed arguing with Kira, you're just a pathetic decoy who knows nothing of what you were, of what you are."

"Decoy," I murmured, still not fully aware of anything around me, not even him. He was an angel, wasn't he? He was also Ryuuzaki, somewhere, beneath the complexity of the situation. "I'm here, because I want to know how I can make this stop, how can I…make it all go away?"

He said it so carelessly, "You must die, Raito-kun."

He smirked when I didn't answer.

"Of course you won't, you're only human. Why would someone with a thirst for justice and righteousness, for godliness go and kill themselves?"

"That's not it!" I closed my eyes, my hands tightening into fists. "I'm not a killer nor a God."

"But you are and I'm surprised that Kira hasn't revealed those memories to you, hasn't tried to corrupt you," he murmured, while reaching his hand out to touch me. I wouldn't make that mistake again, as I stepped away – in which he followed, one foot after the other. "If he wanted to, he could easily change your very thought process, but he hasn't, why?"

"Stay away from me…" I almost lost my footing, forgetting that we were on top of a building with a bottomless ending. His eyes widened, as if he knew something I didn't and smiled knowingly. "'Ryuuzaki' is showing me useless images. They will not save you, but instead damn you. Your good deeds will never be true, his emotions – he actually feels sympathy for you."

"Ryuuzaki!" I suddenly grabbed him, looking into the black nothingness for eyes that he has, shaking him, and repeating his name. "Ryuuzaki, please, listen to me. I'll find out what it is…I'll save you."

"Save?" L's voice nearly scathed, "I've had enough of you."

I wasn't expecting the sudden pain in my chest, as his foot pushed me from the building, and I sank deeply. The bottom didn't seem to have one and I could hear his voice, the gentle amused echo:

"An eye for an eye, that's what I always say."


End of Chapter.
R&R Please.