Ian Hecox
Just what we needed, a little break from our daily lives. We were both getting sick and tired of doing the same shit over and over again. We thought today would just be another day.
But we were so wrong.
I was glad that we helped Billy and Charlie, and in doing so led us to where we are now, standing in front of this hot and sexy goddess who thinks we're explorers that will help her in finding this weird treasure, little did she know that we're not, so let's just keep it a secret, shall we?
She was an absolute doll, and did I mention that she was hot?
Sidney Ackerman is her name, the head curator of the L.A. Museum. She led us through a hallway with velvet carpet and paintings on each side, "Come, we must hurry, no one must see us." She said.
"I'll follow you wherever you go." I said aloud while watching her booty shake as she walked in those high heels that matched her dress.
"ME WANT BAMBAM!" Anthony suddenly yelled, stopping us in our tracks. We shot a look at him, surprised by his sudden outburst and he suddenly realized that, "I-I mean, uh, Gee, what slam jam dress you got there!"
"Oookay." Sidney said, weirded out, "Thanks?" Then she continued to lead the way,
I rolled my eyes and snickered, "Smooth, Padildo. Real smooth." I said. My friend smiled.
"So you're not gonna need us anymore, right?" Billy spoke up, frowning. Sidney turned around, her face had sadness etched all over when she looked at the boy.
"Oh no, Billy, we need you." I cut in before she was able to speak, "We need him, Ms. Ackerman."
"Y-you do?" The boy's eyes sparkled.
"Don't you remember the Battle? You were always there to save the day." Anthony added, "-You and Charlie."
"YAAAY! This day just keeps getting better and better!" Billy hugged both of us.
"Very well." Sidney nodded as we approached the elevator, she pressed the up button and we waited. A couple of seconds later, the large metal door slid open, there was a person inside, an old man wearing grey coveralls, holding a long mop with the mop in a yellow bucket of water. "Good evening, Lloyd." She greeted.
"Ms. Ackerman! Still woking overtime, have we?" The old man glanced at us and fixed his small round glasses on his nose, "-and who are these fine looking gentlemen?"
Anthony scoffed, "There's nothing fine about this bowl-haired doofus beside me." He joked.
"At least I'm not the dude with a butt shaped nose!" I fought back, sticking out my tongue at him.
Sidney rolled her eyes, "These are the people I told you about." She winked.
"You're gonna look for it now?" The janitor asked, walking out of the elevator.
"Oh yeah." She stepped inside, "-talk to you later, Lloyd." She waved goodbye and the old man did the same. She turned to us "Hey? What are you doing out there? Come on." She motioned us to get in. But we both stood there awestruck, did I ever tell you guys that she's hot?
We snapped out of it and rushed inside, Billy waved goodbye also at the old janitor, "Bye, Mr. Lloyd, I love the headset!" He said. Lloyd waved again as the doors slid close. Them the lame elevator music began playing, we stood there in silence while the levels counted upward. I was still thinking of something to talk about with the smokin' hot curator but I was too shy to speak, and by the looks of it, Anthony also looked like he wanted to make a move on Sidney.
"Hey, is it odd to think that Lloyd looks a little bit like your old landlord?" Billy turned to Anthony and I.
"Well, someone's dad needs some explaining to do." I joked.
"Seriously, he looks a lot like him." The bot claimed but then brushed it off afterwards.
"Where's my booze?" Charlie popped out from the boy's pocket, "C'mon, where is it?"
"You'll get your booze later when we get to my office." She said while patting the guinea pig's head.
"I wish I was that guinea pig." Anthony whispered.
"Me too." I nodded and frowned. We watched the floor display stop on the fourth level. Then the doors opened, there were no longer exhibits in the place, it appeared to be like a lounge-slash-library or something, there were a few soft couches and a couple of bookshelves, complete with a coffee vending machine.
"Does anyone have a quarter?" Billy asked, searching his pockets only to find no spare change.
"To my office, guys." She said and we followed her, making a left turn once we stepped out of the lift, leading us into a more crowded hallway compared to the ones before. There was a large wooden door at the end with amazing woodwork done on it. The curator twisted the golden knob and pushed the enormous door open, revealing an even bigger library inside, the bookshelf inside was really high, one must use a ladder to get the books up top. In the center of the place was a large glass table with wooden feet and a beige semi circle couch.
"A couch!" Billy squeaked before running to the sofa and diving head first into the seat. He bounced off the moment he hit it, falling painfully on the floor on his head. We tried our best to not laugh.
"Now please, have a seat Ian and Anthony." She motioned us to her sofa where we slowly sat like high-class British people, crossing our legs in a way that is squeezed my nuts together.
"So, what are we going to look for?" Anthony spoke up.
Sidney locked the main door then closed all the curtains, "This is for your eyes only." She looked at us with seriousness on her face, "No one must know of this." We just nodded, "Very well." She went to the center of the bookshelf and climbed up a metal ladder specially built for a colossal shelf.
Me and Anthony hurriedly stood up and went to the ladder's foot and watched Sidney go up, hoping for something to see what mystery lies under her skirt... I mean mystery of the treasure. But alas, we didn't see anything special, it was covered by the darkness.
"Ian? Could you please get this?" She extended out a hand with the book in her grasp. I reached for the book and took it to the table. Then the curator descended then suddenly lost her footing on one of the rungs, "Whoa!" She fell backwards, Anthony quickly leapt for her and caught her in his arms, gasping the moment he got her.
"That was a close one." Anthony laughed, looking straight into her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes that twinkled. Her mouth slightly hung open, they were lost in each other's stares. I watched them turn red.
"I-uh, thanks." She stuttered while she was gently put down. She fixed her creased dress and walked back to the table.
I approached my friend, seeing him blushing, "You got lucky."
"It's all in the hair." Anthony took off his explorer hat then flipped his hair even though not a single strand moved.
"Not without your emo hair." I mocked.
Anthony frowned, "I kinda miss it though." He sighed, "That long glorious bangs running down the side of my face, that straight and shiny hair and the overall emo look."
"Why did you cut it though?" I asked.
"I think it had gone stale, since I've been having that look for ten years." He shrugged, "It'll have to go eventually."
"Ha!" I gloated, "The ladies love this bowl hair!" I also took off my hat, gently ran my fingers through my bread head before going a little flip.
"HUUURRRGGGLLLL!" Billy suddenly gagged, we turned around to see him with his face inside a small trash bin. The boy's face looked at us, it was a shade of green, his lips had a long goatee-like saliva dripping from it and same goes for his nose, "D-did Ian flip his hair again?" He dizzyingly stuttered. Anthony faced me with an insulting smile, I just rolled my eyes.
"Boys! Over here." Sidney was standing next to the table with the scroll laid out. We approached her and surrounded the map, "The Golden Flamingo, a treasure that had been lost since the twelfth century." She turned the book on a page that showed an artist's rendition of the said treasure. It looked like any other flamingoes, but this was colored gold, "Made of solid gold that has mystical powers that is said to grant the owner their deepest and darkest desires." She said with a hint of fear, "-we must get it before it's too late."
"May I ask why?" I said.
"Someone powerful wants to get their hands on it and use it for world domination." Sidney said.
Anthony turned to me, "Did Adrian go batshit crazy again?" He whispered.
"What? No, I think." I shrugged, "Maybe? But wait, how do we know that you're not the bad guy?" I looked at Sidney.
"Me?" She said, "My only concern is to get this in safe hands, or relocate it someplace safe." Sidney beamed at me with an expression of confusion in her, but she really looks kawaii.
"Really?" I raised an eyebrow, "Didn't you watch Indiana Jones 4? The bad guy there is actually a girl, just trying to clear things up."
"Do I look like a villain?" She twirled around.
"Well, typically a girl villain tends to look strikingly beautiful, seductive that will make our penises quiver with delight." Anthony said and Sidney blushed, "Just looking at you we had to cover our crotches with our hats." It was true, we had actually something beneath the hat over our pants.
"How can I prove to you that I'm not the villain?" She groaned in frustration.
"How about a kiss on the lips?" I grinned, attempting to look sexy but instead ending up looking like a retarded gorilla.
Sidney sighed then took a step closer to me with our faces were mere inches from one another, we were both staring into each others eyes, blue to brown. I felt her warm breath brush against my lips in which I took a glance at, her scarlet lips puckered as she gently ran her hand on my beard. I held her lips as we leaned in closer, I closed my eyes and prepared for the best.
Until a hand came crashing into my cheek.
I yelped, holding the numb area where she had just slapped me, "Oh God! That hurt!" I whimpered, looking up at her and seeing her with a smirk on her face.
"Will that prove it?" She laughed playfully.
"No," I responded, "-do it with Anthony too." I heard footsteps and a loud slap followed by my friend's cries of pain. I snickered, "That'll do."
"Let's get you some ice packs for those." She said.
We surrounded the table again with both of us having a bag of ice tied to our heads, listening to what will the curator say when she finishes reading some books.
"Okay, now comparing it with this present-day L.A. Map, the Golden Flamingo, it located somewhere beneath the Hollywood Sign." She placed a transparent map of the City over the old map and began tracing the destinations with a marker, "We need to find where the entrance is, one of these locations." There were places on the old map marked with dots that seemed to be randomly placed, "So, the only problem is to find the place where we'll begin."
"How can we rule them all out? We just can't go into the LA Bank like that." I pointed to the marked area on the city map where the Bank was.
"Oh, sorry-" Billy lifted up the first layer and picked off the part, "That was just a chocolate stain." He laughed.
"Okay, that's one location off the list, any more stains there you want to tell us about?" Anthony sighed.
"There's a dried booger stain on the LA Police Station." The boy said.
"OH GOD!" The three of us jumped, "Take it off!" Sidney shrieked and Billy removed it.
"It was Charlie's, not mine!" He said.
The guinea pig popped out of the boy's pocket and climbed on the table, "That's true, I'm a little bit unwell." He sneezed.
"Okay, now we got five locations, we just need to know where to start." Sidney rolled her eyes.
Then a sound of footsteps came from the floors beneath us.
"What's going on down there?" Sidney asked then approached the monitors near her office, she viewed them then gasped.
"What is it?" Anthony asked.
I viewed the monitor and saw a group of men running up the stairs, the looked intimidating, they were carrying rock candy lightsabers. Then I remembered, "It's the guys who were chasing Billy!" I recalled, "How did they find us?!"
"Maybe because of Lloyd's new headset?" Billy shrugged, "It kinda resembles the ones from those spy movies, where there was a mole wearing a headset."
"That snitch!" Sidney said angrily, "After all these years of being kind to him."
Then there was a loud bang on the door.
"Billy! Here!" Charlie tossed Billy a pencil-length stick with a wooden ball. The boy caught it and turned it on, a long purple lightsaber emitted from the other end.
"How are we going to get out of here? We don't even have our lightsabers?!" I panicked.
"Au contraire." Anthony dug in his pocket and handed my a stick like Billy's, "I knew it would come handy again." He smiled and took out another one, pressing a button then a green glowing rock candy came out.
"Aw, you the best, bro." I said before observing the hilt, it was the same ones I had before, the same battle damages it had endured and the same empowering feeling. I pressed small button and watched a blue rock candy gloriously emerge from one end, creating that oh so satisfying whir. I smiled and let a tear slip from one eye.
Just like old times.