Chapter 3: Krauser Appears.

Wesker was right he did have a nice car but having to explain Yoai kinda ruined the mood.

"Yoai is guy on guy sex, while I'm hentai any form of sex although I'm straight and its only and exception with girls on girls." I explained as Wesker drove into the midnight hour.

"You menttioned something about Yoai fan fiction. What were you talking about?" He asked not taking his eyes off the road...thank god.

"Well...yeah see..I...you gotta promise not to kill me if I tell you." I said folding my arms.

"Miss Boyd if I had any intention of killing you I would have done so by now." Wesker stated.

I rolled my eyes, 'not like I haven't heard that a thousand times before.' "Okay then, I was talking about people like making Yoai fan fictions of you and Chris." I said and he grew silent gripping his hands on the steering wheel. "But I don't write stuff like that...but I kinda enjoy reading it." I slightly whispered.

I could feel Wesker getting angry as he thought about such things and disgusted, I decided to not say another word the entire rest of the trip.

When we got to his condo I was in awe as I got out of his car, it was huge. An entire apartment complex actualy. I grabbed my bag and walked inside being created by a cute bunch of orange and white kittens.

"Aw!" I sat my bag down and pet them all. Wesker then looked inside and just stared as I played with the kittens. "I'm surprised you didn't kill them all or something." I said looking up at him a kitten on my head.

"I am not a vulgar monster as you may believe Miss Boyd." He stated then sat on the large couch in silence.

I spotted a huge flat screen TV, a few game consoles, a gaming labtop and desktop, and WiFi internet. A dreamers heaven with the guy of a dreamers heaven...and kittens!

I ran around looking at all the awesome gamer tech then tripped over a wire. "Opf!" Landing on my face. Wesker then got up from the couch where kittens had been tackling him and picked me up sitting me back on my feet.

"Thanks." I said nodding to him then looked at the gutiar that I had fallen over. "Cool." I picked up the gutiar and looked at it. "Odd question but can you play?" I asked.

"Why yes I can." He stated messing with his sunglasses.

"Cool." I then sat the gutiar back down and got on my account. I had missed a few messages from EcoSeeker, Biohazardous Fears, and InuInuLoveLove. I checked the messages then my stories. All of a sudden it hit me, I could turn what just happened to me into a story. After that I started typing and named the story, 'RANDOMNESS!' the one you are probably reading now. I typed out the first two chapters then sighed, I decieded to take a shower and clean up since school would be starting soon. I grabbed my red bag and claimed the room with camo ,RE, and Metal Gear Solid wallpaper to be mine, in that room was a bathroom which I used to shower and change. When I came out with wet hair and clean clothes the lights flickered and another portal appeared in front of me. I saw the words Krauser before the portal disappeared and a nude man was in front of me.

"Not again! Wesker!" I yelled making Krauser stare at me then cover his 'Manhood' and blush. When Wesker walked in things didn't get better. Quickly Krauser took a pillow from my bed and covered himself. 'Mental note wash pillow then sell it on ebay.' I thought getting up from where the wind from the portal knocked me down.

"Krauser!" Wesker yelled and Krauser saluted him." Well at least it wasn't Redfield." Wesker mumbled as he pulled Krauser away to explain everything and get some bloody clothes.

I took a deep breath as a naked Krauser scared the crap out of me. After that I went to check out the kitchen. It was HUGE! It was like a resturant kitchen, it reminded me of the one I wrote about in 'Albert Wesker tribute'. I shrugged the thought off and opened the freezer which was full of my favorite food and drinks. "Screw orange juice I'm drinking this caffine root beer!" I yelled louder then I thought getting a root beer.

"So your the kid responisible for this." I heard Krauser say making me jump.

I covered my eyes and turned around.

"I GOT CLOTHES ON GOD!" Krauser yelled.

I uncovered my eyes and saw he was wearing a normal sleeveless gray shirt and blue jeans.

"Hey normal clothes really suit you." I stated and he looked down at himself.

"You think so?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Soda?" I offered.

"Beer." He said.

"I don't think we have that." I said looking in the freezer.

"Damn." He mumbled.

"Krauser Boyd!" I heard Wesker yell and rolled my eyes. 'I'm not one of your minions Dang it!'

Me and Krauser walked into the living room where Wesker was sitting a kitten on his head and his lap.

"KITTENS!" Krauser squeaked running up to them and grabbing the one from Wesker's head. "I'm naming you beret, cause I miss mine." He said then put the kitten on his head.

I couldn't help but laugh. But then Wesker death glared me and I sat down on the recliner.

"Hey before you start what ever meeting your planning maybe we should name the kittens." I said.

"That is perposteras." Wesker said scoffing.

"Oh come on boss!" Krauser yelled also getting a death glare.

"Fine." Wesker mumbled.

"I'll name two, Krauser already named one and you can name one Wesker." I said and picked up a pure orange kitten. "Your Ichigo." Then I picked up a kitten that was all white except for a grey paw. "And you Lupin the 4th." I smiled the watched as Wesker picked up a pure black kitten.

"You are Wesker's Servant and will not pee on the carpet." Wesker said, I rolled my eyes. 'Darn Sith lord mind tricks.'

"I'll call him Servy!" I yelled.

"That deems the naming process redundant." Wesker stated glaring at me.

"Well my middle name is 'Render things redundant'." I said putting my kittens down.

"Really? Thats a long middle name." Krauser asked the kitten still on his head.

"Yeah I know I get told that all the time...NO thats not really my middle name!" I yelled getting up and grabbing my side bag for school.

"Krauser you must stay here and guard the house." Wesker said getting up.

"And the kittens." I added.

"I'll guard the kittens with my life!" Krauser yelled as me and Wesker left for school.

*Reviewers corner*

Me and Wesker are sitting on a couch, we turn as the lights come on.

"Good evening this is the Reviewers Corner. This is my part of the fan fiction where I will devote every ounce of my being to the reviewers questions, statments, or acts of randomness they want their favorite character to perform. Wesker will be my co-host." I explained as I flipped my hair back in a TV host like manner.

"I will do no Acts of Randomness." Wesker said crossing his arms.

"You will if a reviewer asks you to." I said sternly.

"You are beginning to get on my nerves Boyd. First you force my character to rape you, countless times, then turn you into my servant with the T-virus, then give me an insain side. You also get me to kidnap you several times for your fetish. If any one here is an Evil Megalomanaic it is you." Wesker said glaring at me.

"So what I'm part fan girl, you don't see me throwing you to Chris though do you? And you don't see me trying to take over the world." I said rolling my eyes and shrugging.

"Touche." Wesker said getting quiet.

"He really dosen't like the idea of me forcing him into a yoai." I whispered to my readers. "Okay now for the first comment today is InuInuLoveLove who inspired this segment. She wants me to tell you your a pervert Wesker." I said turning to him.

"Only in your fan fiction Boyd." Wesker said turning away in a pouting motion.

"Oh man up!" I yelled then turned back to my readers. "Well thats all we have for today tune in tomorrow to see Star Wars jokes and Chris show up." I smiled as the camera zoomed out.

"WAIT! CHRIS IS GONNA SHOW UP NEXT!" You could hear Wesker yell.

(Submit your questions, comments, or random acts of randomness by review please.)